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Messages - Tobias

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41
General Discussion / Re: NWN Enhanced Edition Information Compilation
« on: March 06, 2018, 04:18:27 pm »
In regards to Aribabe image,  is this what Beamdog is shooting for or is this something individual communities will have to implement? It looks amazing and would def inspire old and new players to play the game I think.

Really excited what other changes get released to us as it works through it's beta testing.

42
Layonara Server / I cannot speak about today as
« on: March 06, 2015, 02:03:10 pm »
I cannot speak about today as I haven't been on yet but, recently I have noticed a huge improvement with lag issues.  I rarely get lag spikes now and most of trival lag I do receive is video card related.

43
Trade and Market Hall / Antral dropped off:1 scroll
« on: February 22, 2015, 05:55:39 pm »

Antral dropped off:

1 scroll of Etheral Visage= 3500tr

1 scroll of Firebrand= 3500tr

Picked up:

Nymph Cloak +2=5226tr

Trues left: 523tr

Credit: 1774tr


44
General Discussion / Antral Teken’neld
« on: February 08, 2015, 09:35:17 am »

Antral Teken’neld


45
Development Journals and Discussion / Broken Masks I have broken a
« on: January 24, 2015, 05:13:58 pm »

Broken Masks

 I have broken a dream, a promise and myself..

I write this journal to try to vent my anger, frustration, remorse and pain.. I just have no words to express what I feel.. It just hurts. Gods it hurts. I got what I wanted but, I fear the price was to high. I have killed another's dream, lied to the only person I can say I truly loved and it has left me broken. I don't know how I could ever look into her eyes. She thinks I'm the hero that saved her. But, the one she now hates should be the one that should be standing where I am. He is her hero. He deserves her love. 

He never asked me for anything up until that day. There was a pleading in his words and in his eyes but, I made a promise to her that at the time I told myself I couldn't break.. "One little lie... She needs this.." Those were his words. If i listened to him, I would be assured never to be "second best". I just couldn't.. at the time.. I love her but, to take that choice away from her I felt I would be taken away her freedom.  I told him just earlier that week if he choose to turn from his path I would help him but, if I aided him to go through with his plan now, I would damn him to remain on that road.  His eyes changed when I stood firm to my promise. They became cold and shifted sided to side frantically searching for another way since his only hope refused him. Then he drew a blade and lunged for her chest. Time stopped. He knew I would react, that I would try and save her. I drew the closest thing to me, my dagger,  and shot off like lightning like my life, Zari's life depended on it. Sheer luck saved him a killing blow as he was maneuvering for his strike. My blade deflected off his armor with a flash of sparks. It was enough to halt his approach to Zari. He tried to actually kill her to give her closure, so she could move on.. But I would be damned if I let him harm her or damn himself further.  I fought for her and him.. I wanted to save both of them.  His years around his kin and other ilk had taught him how to berate  and goad me. And I fell for it hook, line and sinker. White blinding rage took me and I struck fast and hard. I did not stop until he lay on the ground.  

Each of the cuts I gave him broke me, bit by bit. Each strike was tearing away his dream, his fantasy of shedding his skin.  As he laid there dying, his words struggled to leave his lips.. "Please.. Toby... wish you help me with one little lie.. Not for nothing.. Please Tobias.." Words I will never forget. Words that will haunt me. He wanted to cut ties with her cleanly.. Wanted her to hate him.. and in his desperation, he turned to me and I couldn't help him. My morals, ethics got in the way. He wanted this for her. Shouldn't I want the same thing? Damn my soul.. He was right. For him I would lie.. I would do it for the greater good. I would do it for Zari. No matter how much it ripped at my soul. I would do it for a friend. 

So I lied. Part of me was shocked how easily it came.. Like an artist painting a masterpiece. A splash of truth and  a lie to add texture. She wanted to hate him. Needed me to say the right things. I gave her what she wanted. What I wanted. I would no longer be the second choice. No longer would be in my way of happiness. Even if it was a false happiness built on a lie, it was mine. I fought hard to earn her trust and her love. I had always felt I was in his shadow, that her heart was not wholly mine. I needed it to be so. So much so I was willing to deceive her. Paint myself as the hero that saved her and him, the villain he wanted to be.  Still I cannot bear to look into her golden eyes. She knows something is wrong but is scared to ask the question. I'm sure she thinks it has something to do with her.. She'll never be more wrong. This is the my doing.. my weight to bare. I deserve this pain. Her hate. 

May it take my soul to the darkest of hell's pits. 

What if I told her? Would she hate me? Would it re-spark her love of the dark elf? Would I be her second choice or worse, no choice at all? Do I even deserve to be in her life, worthy of her love?  I know I must tell her.. It has been  weeks yet still the nightmares come at night. I cannot escape them. The only escape is the whiskey.. It dulls the pain.. allows me a little respite until the buzz wears off.  

"I'm so glad you will not lie to me, like he did.." Words sharper than any sword.

 Ilsare's sick way of  punishing me for all crushed dreams and broken hearts..

Tobias sets down the quill and folds up the letter, sticking in his vest pocket. He stands and moves toward the mirror and there he stares at it. "What are you, Toby? Why can't you just be happy?" He leans over to the dresser drawers and hopens it and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and tilts it up to his lip, enjoying the burn. He sighs heavily and corks the bottle then tosses it back into the drawer before retuning at staring at his reflection.  He turns quickly as he hear Zari calling him.. "What's that, Sunhine?" he calls out with slurred words.

"C'mon Sailor! Take a girl dancing already!" 

He stares at the mirror and practices his smile before heading downstairs. 


46
Character Development Quests (CDQ's) / Adding to your list for
« on: January 23, 2015, 11:20:47 pm »

Adding to your list for Tobias. I'll send you a PM tomorrow! 


47
Development Journals and Discussion / Death Masks  Dying is easy..
« on: December 08, 2014, 10:28:35 pm »

Death Masks

 
 
Dying is easy.. Reviving and looking at the eyes of someone you love is hard. 
 
There is this relief in their eyes that you were able to be called back but, you can still see the tears they shed for you on their face.... and that hurts. There are unspoken words in those tears.. Anger.. Fear.. Sadness..Disappointment. Each strike deep at me as I never wanted to cause those emotions in people especially the ones I care for. Still it happens.. All I can do is shut down and hide behind a mask when all I want to do is to be held and comforted. 
 
I died because of a vision of shades hammering down on me like a rogue wave, washing me down into the abyss.. I didn't have time to scream and no one was around to call for aid.. Alone, without hope..no chance of redemption.. It was just a nightmare but, it felt so real that my heart stopped. 
 
I have had dreams and thoughts like this many times.. I have stayed up thinking.. what if the gods do not award their faithful? What comes after we close our eyes for the last time? Is it just over? Darkness.. endless darkness.. and that scares me.. scares me so bad I start to hyperventilate and jump out of bed and start pacing trying to think other thoughts.
 
I so badly want there to be something after this life. I want to be able to see my sister and other family members again.. To see all my old friends that have passed on after me and wait for the ones that I left behind. 
 
I need to take a leap of faith and trust that Ilsare will catch me and award me in the end. 
 
Like I said, dying is easy.. What comes next, only the ones that have passed know and they are keeping their secrets. 

48
Development Journals and Discussion /   Marriage!? I'm
« on: December 07, 2014, 04:08:31 pm »

  Marriage!? I'm married! Tobias thinks to himself as he sits at the bar with a half finished bottle of juice. He feels the occasion calls for probably something a stronger but, he made a promise and he is going to hold to his end of the bargain. He grins and shakes his head. That girl is going to make an honest elf out of you yet, Toby..  He grabs the bottle of juice and pours a little more in the glass and occasionally takes a couple of sips.

 
  Never in his 330 years , give or take, did he ever think he be married or alive for that matter.. par for the course in his line of work but, still he has made it this far. And MARRIED!? He eyes the liquor cabinet and his leg shakes.  Why am I so scared of this? She's the one, always will be the one. Heh she makes me want to be a better elf, she makes me actually believe that the gods are not cruel and are playing with us like puppets. Tobias takes another sip of his juice wishing that it had a little more burn in his throat. Love is not what scared him, it was the responsibility of being in love.. His charge is to make her happy and be there for her through better or worse, for thick or thin.
 
  For better or worse..  He tells himself. He knows she makes him better. He actually feels home when she is around. She has given so much to him but, what has he given her? Sure , they have had a lot of fun and now that Raz is back Tobias is sure there will be even more fun. But still what has he done for her?  You've been a friend.. you've listened to her and made her laugh.. These things can't be ignored or you could just ask?. Tobias pushes the thought aside for the time being. Just stop worrying about it you idiot and just be happy! He smiles to himself.. "I am happy.. the happiest I've been in a long while." He raises his glass of juice in a toast. "To my Sunshine. may she always cast her light on me." said Tobias as he drains the class and deftly flips it over in his hand before placing it on the bar.
 
  He stands and makes his way upstairs.. "I have a wife!? I'm married?! The gods must be laughing.. well all but one.. She might just might be smiling.."

49
Rumour Has It / Celador drops his focus and
« on: November 05, 2014, 11:27:51 pm »

Celador drops his focus and turns to the group.

" We have an issue.. there is a slight emanations coming from not the wood but from under the guild itself.. like the earth underneath and around the guildhall is radiating whatever it is.. I cannot put my finger on it but, I'm confident it is not a manipulation of the Al'Noth.  Saying that, it has similarities with tribal rituals that I studied under my apprenticship with my father.."

He looks at each member with a concerned expression.

"Angels, we have a problem.. I need to go to my study and see if I can retrieve the book about ritual magic.. Perhaps I can negate whatever this trickery or curse is before it destroys anything else.  I advise each of you here to consider anything that we have taken in to the guildhall in the last month or so that seemed out of place or just odd." 

He turns on his heels, and starts to make for the door. 


50
Rumour Has It / Celador scoffs "I'll have you
« on: November 05, 2014, 07:29:40 pm »

Celador scoffs "I'll have you know that I'm well educated on all matters of wood- wait that didn't come out right..  I've worked with with all types of wood from building materials to the finest bows.. So there.. abd besides i'm not certain that whatever this is, is natural. Doubt  a woodsman could tell us that."

He turns to Aphel and smiles. "No offense, Aphel. Any insight you could provide would be most welcomed"  

 


51
Rumour Has It / Celador, still in deep focus
« on: November 04, 2014, 06:16:08 pm »

Celador, still in deep focus on the damaged door, extends his senses through the open door to the table.

"Only thing I'm getting at this moment is a strong whiff of Daniel's cologne.. I assume that's Lana's doing, Daniel?" he asks while maintaining his effort at the task at hand. 

//Concentration check 8+30=38


52
Rumour Has It / //14+37=51
« on: November 04, 2014, 06:03:58 pm »

//14+37=51


53
Rumour Has It / Celador peeks from around the
« on: November 03, 2014, 08:38:34 pm »

Celador peeks from around the corner grinning at Dan.

"Why must you always yell at things? You must've really missed not having me around to yell at if you have come to the point at yelling at doors.." 

He comes up from around the corner and notices the door handle.. 

"Oh, well.. You don't see that every day, do you? I would guess termites but, it looks more rotted then anything, aye?" He says as he turns to Dan.

Celador bends down and studies the rotted handled then reaches out to sense if the cause is magical. 

 


54
Development Journals and Discussion / Letter to a
« on: October 31, 2014, 10:26:47 pm »

Letter to a friend

 

Stealthily, Tobias exits the tent where a young elf maiden rests quietly. He stretches and rolls his neck then surveys the majestic design of Stone.. “Maybe she is right.. Something this beautiful cannot just happen.” He says in a whisper. Tobias takes quick glance back to the tent as he walks over to stoke the fire back to life. He sits next to the fire and reaches over for his bag, pulling out a quill and a roll of parchment.  Tobias mutters quietly and reaches back into his bag grabbing a vial. Uncorking the vial he sets it aside after dipping his quill tip in.  Swiftly, he starts to scribble on the parchment.

 

 

Hi Friend,

 

           It’s been a long time since we last talk and I wouldn’t be sore or anything if you don’t remember me. I’ve never been good a friendships anyway since most of the time I was looking for a gain out of the “friendship”. I guess now though, things are different. Now, I not looking for gain or a perk. This time I want to help our other friend because she is important to me. I’ve always thought you and the others just didn’t care about us or that we are some play things you could harass when you got bored. I want you to prove me wrong, I need to be wrong as I can’t do this alone. She needs us, friend..

 

I’ve done many wrongs by her and I’m trying to make amends. I just don’t know how to separate the lies from the truths. She can’t believe anything I say because every promise I made to her I’ve broken and in doing so I think I’ve broken our friend. You need to know that I never, NEVER wanted this. If I could take it back, I would.. If knowing that her never meeting me would help her heal, then I would pray you take me back to before we met. I know that will never happen, so I have another proposal. I need you to meet me halfway, she needs us.. I will do my part, I will be there for her and show her that I’m not leaving her or that I’m only seeking her for something other than friendship.. it’s what I should’ve done the first time but, I made a game of it trying to steal her away from Gel and then Nym.. I was foolish. It was my never my right  to try and steal her heart.. I should have being trying to earn it by my actions and by truths. I did the opposite I lied and I

 

I need you to meet me halfway, she needs us.. but, sometimes it feels like I am the only one that cares that she is broken and it fills me with so much anger and rage that you guys just sit up there and do nothing for your faithful! People you count on for your power and you treat them like ants in a jar!  You and the others have just disappointed me so much that my faith in any of you has shattered. But, I am willing to learn to have faith again if you will help her.. 

 

If you helped you could renew one followers faith and gain a new one.. It's a double win here.. 

 

Friend, I love her..

 

Tobias rolls up the parchment and holds one end over the flame. When it is more the half way on fire he drops it in whispering.. "I hope to hear from you soon." He looks up at the night sky and all the constellations before he stands up and returns to the tent. 

 

55
Development Journals and Discussion / Unmasked:"Home, she said I
« on: October 24, 2014, 09:08:33 pm »

Unmasked:

"Home, she said I was home..." Tobias stands alone gazing outside the street below watching the seafarers and merchants stumble to their destination as they exit the Arms. He lets out a heavy sigh and turns away from the window, back to the darkness of studio. As he glances around, the scene is very familiar. Finished works of art stacked chaotically in the corner, stone sculptures half finished. And an easel in the corner, revealed by moonlight, catches his eye. He approaches the easel with slow steady steps.. Dust layered over its frame that had accumulated, he assumed over the years... "How long has it been since you lost your passion?" he whispers to the empty easel.  He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the dust from its surface as debris dance in the light of the moon. 

 

When he was here last time he thought that he could be her passion.. he needed to be it..  He hoped that together they could both move on with their past and share in each other’s dreams of the future.   But, it didn’t happen..  His hands grip the soiled cloth and tosses it towards the pile of paintings in frustration and anger.. “I’m so tired of being scared and running.. I don’t hide my emotions, I run from them..” Like he did this last time.. He only cared for his feelings and used Nym’s empty threats and justification that he was doing the right thing for her.. That he was holding her back from moving on.. He just didn’t want to feel alone.. “But, that’s what you are now Toby….. Alone.. How’s that working out for you? How did that work for you years at sea or searching for a ghost of past that does not want to be found especially by you?” Tobias begins pacing the studio, his anxiety and emotions taking control of him until he falls to the floor hyperventilating.. Tears start running down his face as he fights to gain control of his breathing.. And now he comes back to darken her door, to let any emotions that she may have buried to resurface an overwhelm her.. Again…  It would be best if he just never came back for both of them..  Tobias fights to recover his breathing but, is unable to fight the tears..  But he came back.. He needs her in his life.. needs a friend.. his feelings be damned. 

 

With that revelation he is able to master his breathing once again and is able to pick himself back up. He glances back at the empty easel. “This time I will be here for you Zari.. and not for my selfish reasons..  but because you are my friend..”

 

He turns from the easel and heads to his room.. as he heads toward the bed something catches his eye.. He pauses and quickly turns, rapier in hand at the speed of thought. All he sees is an elf with long blond hair starring back at him.. His reflection. Shaking his head he walks toward the mirror and stares at his reflection. “No more lies.. no more running.. no more masks.. Zari deserves to know the truth no matter how bad it is.” He turns from his reflection..

 

Because that is what a friend would do..


56
Layonara Server / I have not been in on in a
« on: December 06, 2013, 08:39:52 pm »

I have not been in on in a long time due to personal reasons but, I do not want to see NWN Layonara end.  I have been on and off for almost 10 years (wow!) and it might be hard for me to find time to play but,  the team and the community are always in my thoughts.  I have just donated $20 to help keep NWN Layonara alive until we can see what the next generation has in store for us! 

 I will commit to at leat $5 a month going forward. The Team and Community are what keep me coming back for almost ten years and it's high time that I say thank you with more than words. 

 

Miss all you guys and hope everyone is doing well! Can't wait to see what 2014 brings to Layonara! 

Hopefully see you all in game,

Brandon


57
Rumour Has It / Celador is seen walking
« on: March 03, 2013, 10:40:34 pm »

Celador is seen walking around town talking to the patrol and commoners asking questions about missing livestock and if they know where he could find the mayor or town elder. He advices any that would listen that he wishes to discuss about some man made barricades to keep out the roaming orcs and goblins. 


58
Roleplaying / I have to second this! Jo's
« on: March 03, 2013, 10:29:08 pm »

I have to second this!

 

Jo's "Don't lick Toads" song and Niamh's and Ty's duet was really enjoyable


59
General Discussion / Cupcake? I thought it was
« on: March 02, 2013, 04:37:07 pm »

Cupcake? I thought it was Moonbeam? 

*shrugs* Either way, Happy Birthday!  :) 


60
Character Development Quests (CDQ's) / Requesting a CDQ for Tobias.
« on: February 27, 2013, 07:08:36 pm »

Requesting a CDQ for Tobias.  PM to follow shortly. :)  


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