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Messages - lonnarin
101
« on: February 09, 2010, 06:05:18 pm »
People keep coming to our computer store on campus and asking me if we sell stamps or envelopes for the USPS kiosk down the hall. This is despite my putting up a big sign above it telling them that our store does NOT (bold and underlined) sell stamps or envelopes or help in any way whatsoever with that kiosk. Still, these people read the letters, piece together the words, then form the sentances in their heads, realize the truth of the crystal clear statements right in front of them, and march up to our store to ask for envelopes and stamps. Then I started asking them why, and found out that the information desk across the building keeps sending them to us. After 4 or 5 times walking up to the information desk and telling the staff who work there that we dont sell either and to please stop sending people to us, they continue to do so. They think its funny... so this was the last straw. Today I printed out 20 flyers and posted them up all around the Student Union. "SGA Presents: Free Smokes! 1 free pack/week of any Malboro brand per student with valid student ID... see the Student Union Information Desk!" Needless to say they've had a line outside the door all day. Their manager ruffles his feathers, twitches and walks up and down the line announcing that they dont give out free cigarettes every 10 minutes. They put up a sign that says they absolutley do NOT hand out free cigarettes, to which the people stare, piece together the letters, form the words and read the statements... and roll to disbelieve. Their line has been ringing off the hook with inquiries, and the people there are slowly going insane. HOOOO-YEAH! Take THAT information desk!!! edit: oh yeah, and the best part is... you can buy stamps and envelopes at the kiosk. They just dont want to read the directions on it.
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« on: January 17, 2010, 04:14:05 pm »
Was looking up Mass Effect 2 trailers on Bioware today, and got this message... "Our Apologies The BioWare websites; online store; master server; and online authentication are temporarily unavailable. Sorry folks; we're having a few technical difficulties. Those pesky Gnomes are banging away at the giant; steam-producing clockwork computers we keep in the basement guarded by Swikky the dire squirrel. We will be back up as soon as we can."
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« on: January 17, 2010, 12:02:26 am »
Description: music is too happy Location:The Deep, between gnome whelps and the deeper deep Verified: N/A Reproduceable: until changed Walk down into the Deep, the BIG deep. Right around the whelps and past towards the devestation hulks and the dark elves. It plays halfling tavern music in a few spots there. Very anti-climactic to the area. I suggest some more foreboding music, Edit: this is the BIG deep area past the Great Forest
The following users thanked this post: Hellblazer
106
« on: December 11, 2009, 09:37:04 pm »
YouTube - When You're EvilOn that note, we need to flag down a GM for a nice themed weekend, Prime Time evil quest!  Kurn Blackwater: NE, Lvl 17 Fighter/rogue/weaponmaster Fenthon Quill: NE 10 Rogue-> need to make a personal-cdq or 3 for assassin soon! Send me a tell if your interested in joining the good (evil) doctor and interested in helping with that doozy! (or if your an evil character who wants somebody killed for profit... WOOOT!)
The following users thanked this post: Xaltotun, Makashi, Ravemore, Spike, geloooo
107
« on: November 27, 2009, 06:26:17 pm »
*A strange man dressed in tuxedo, executioner's mask and feathered hat wails forth a tempest of song from the shores of Hempstead. He sings of death, destruction, courage, and in facing the storm. He sings to the sea monsters and dead drowned gods of old, the elves of the deep and the very barnacles clinging tot he husks of shattered ships. Persevere. Endure. Fight! His fingers spark into a magical fire across the fretboard as he frantically pumps out chords of discord, masterfully bringing a sense of godlike to the impending, looming doom of what is to come. Between sets he urges the crowds to run, flee... the second wav is coming. Go inland, climb the mountains and wait it out. And for those with will, stay to face the carnage that is to come. Raise arms and battle these beasts of the sea. Krakken, Aboleth, dread beings long forgotten beneath the waves. They come for us all, meet them. Slay them! A few may recognize him as one of the number who evacuated many citizens in the first wave, and who in a fit of madness, tied himself to a palm tree to meet the first wave of the tsunami.*
The following users thanked this post: LordCove, Link092, geloooo, RollinsCat
108
« on: October 27, 2009, 02:08:09 pm »
Good news for those of you who were wondering where I've been these past two months. I've finally traded out my horrendous job at the fetid zoo of Wal-Mart to a much better paying, more dignified career working in the campus computer store full-time, oggling hot college lasses and selling flash drives for a living! Tomorrow shall be my last shift ever in that third world nation supermarket that robs workers of their health benefits despite being the richest retailer in the world. Which schedules you for 12-9pm and then 4am the next day. Which makes for darn certain that every person with kids or family WILL work christmas morning. A company so foul that only salaried managers are allowed to have keys to the trash compactors, otherwise we would have fed said managers to their bloodied iron jaws already. No more Wal Mart! No more carts! No more showing up to work sick with swine flu to go stock produce! WHOOOOOO!!!! P.S. If you've seen that documentary "Wal-Mart: the High Cost of Low Prices"... it's all true! Single mothers getting their hours cut just to deny their children healthcare, "optional" unpaid overtime, people with shifts so close together that they sleep in their cars for 2 hours just to make ends meet, and every bit of that paycheck being re-absorbed when they shop where they work. Worse even. When I was a wee boy growing up in the Cold War 80s, my parents would point to the news clips of long lines for toilet paper, the workers being given slave wages, people being beaten down by thought police and the horrible quality of life and say "see son? aren't you glad you don't live like that under communism?" Then I went to college to work at Wal-Mart, with its shelves stocked with 90% chinese prison labor goods and it dawned on me. Wal-Mart is the new Axis of Evil, and it's right there smack dab in our back yard! It seriously is the return of the worst days of the industrial revolution, where children worked 12 hours a day and pople who lost limbs in the line of duty were kicked out into the streets.
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109
« on: August 24, 2009, 07:06:01 pm »
I've opened this thing again and again and never once have I found anything in it. Seeing as how it's depicted as a huge heaping pile of gold, I suggest that either A) there be some gold drop respawning in the pile to represent the gold that's piled right there in front of you, or B) remove the gold pile and put a chest there, which could physically be empty. It's kind of frustrating to see an empty pile of gold.
110
« on: August 24, 2009, 02:20:45 am »
Rumors abound around Dalanthar and the Rolling Hills of a very vile little dwarven thug in a skull helm who smashed a pumpkin in the fields outside of a good-hearted, elderly paladin's home. With much malice, the defenseless pumpkin was hoisted high and smashed into the ground amidst maniacal laughter. Foul play is suspected in the poor squash's squashing demise. Prunillites in particular are shocked and dismayed. In related news, little messenger birds chirp merrily along the Druid Network of a kindly dwarven paragon who fed many a starving crow in the Rolling Hills. Seeing their plight and hunger, he was kind hearted enough to dispatch the menacing tyrant scarecrow which terrorized them and crack open his cackling gourd to release the nourishing seeds within. The birds sing praise to his mercy and feast heartily upon their bountiful supper in the fields outside a miserly old codger's house.
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111
« on: August 18, 2009, 09:17:14 pm »
Description: The Large benches by the pond have an interesting description. "Two arrows pierce the dead man's back". Location: Haft Lake: Prantz Verified: Reproducable: Until changed
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112
« on: August 18, 2009, 01:20:42 am »
Your horse be starving, wounded and seemingly drained by necromancy stuck on the side of the cliff by the Rift - Asunder, just off the right side of the cliff on the path from Dalanthar to Willow's Weep. There aint any grass to eat or water for it, and it looks like the bone golems usin it as a chew toy. Might want to pick it up. -Kurn Blackwater
The following users thanked this post: miltonyorkcastle
113
« on: August 08, 2009, 04:50:41 am »
Rumors abound that the roving bands of deep dwarven bandits have been waylaying surface dwarves around the vicinity of Prantz and in the mines of Dregar, particularly in the deserts. Posing as miners who require help, they lure their prey deep into the tunnels for an ambush, attempting to steal the hard earned ores and minerals mined by their surface kin. Others simply stand near the roads in the vicinity of Prantz, springing out to ambush unsuspecting travelers in hopes of an easy kill. In both instances they were defeated with the utmost efficiency by their would-be victims. This may cast doubt that they were official militia of Prantz, given the lack of training held by them. They also bore no immediate insignias to show allegiance to any faction. Still their presence is increasing the growing tension between dwarves of the surface and those down below. How much longer before all-out war breaks out?
The following users thanked this post: Chazzler, Lord Dark, mumbles, Ravemore, Teo
114
« on: July 23, 2009, 10:50:44 pm »
Let it be known that Earl Frogstomper, Red Ninja extraordinaire and tough old miserly sod is finally announcing his retirement from the adventuring/mercenary tradition. At now quickly approaching his 89th birthday, he has this to say. "Man, it's been a wild ride, more fun than I ever expected. But with mah wife dead, my kids in thar 60s, my kid's kids in thar late 30s and THAR kids just about ready ter take up the trade and find wives of thar own, ah know ol father time comin for meh. Gonna trade in all mah gear and profits and pay off em back-taxes on tha family ranch in Brech, so we all keep with the brewin and pipeweed trade. Ter all meh friends out thar, please feel free ter drop by and give meh ah holler. Ah still got mebbe ah decade left in meh, and my family is yer family. We got the whiskey brewin and the pipes lit up fer ye!" His will indicates the entirety of his wealth and items will be going towards his family members, and for paying off old debts. He shall now be taking up "an honest job" brewing for the dwarves of Brech and farming hops & pipeweed in Prunilla's way. With over 40 able bodied grandchildren and great grandchildren to take up the chores, his retirement years shall be spent most productively, seeing to it that the "XXX Whooparse Ninja Brew" label finds its way across the lands. And so, one of Layonara's most eclectic and energetic adventurers finds his retirement years in comfort, with over half of his soul strands still intact. If only we could all be so lucky! //been fun, but playing a human past 90 entails heart attacks, hernias and adult diapers. Would rather go out on a strong point than see him whither down into feebleness. Please feel free to use him as an NPC in Brech, all ye GMs. And for any players interested in playing a descendant, let me know. Likely when the MMORPG comes out, I'll be playing his great-great-grandson, Earl Jr!
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115
« on: June 24, 2009, 07:03:54 pm »
And not in the manner that you would expect me to either. She was outside trimming the hedges, and all of the sudden I hear screaming and hyperventilating. The very first thing that went though my mind was "oh great, it's that bloody attack cat again". But no, turns out she wasn't holding the mini-chainsaw hedgeclippers properly and they went wild on her and sawed through half her finger! It was pretty deep, could see bone fractured and all, so I quickly tossed some hydrogen peroxide on it, wrapped her hand in a towel and hot-footed it to the closest hospital with her and her 10-year-old son. Got there in record time; the GPS said and ETA of about 25 minutes, arrived there in around 8-9 minutes. I sped like a demon actually attempting to try and get pulled over so that a cop could give us an escort through traffic, but no such luck. I assume right now they are trying to sew it back together and fitting her with a cast of some sort. Poor lady, but at least I figure she'll remember this the next time the post office decides to be late delivering her rent money! Now I have a blood splattered front porch and a random car in the driveway. Great for dissuading door to door salesmen and non-seasonal trick-or-treaters. 
The following users thanked this post: Thak, mumbles, Hellblazer, geloooo
116
« on: June 23, 2009, 11:40:54 pm »
A friend of mine recently sent these to me. I'm going to have to use them some time! I have found a deficiency in my personal wireless communications device. It appears it lacks the combination of numbers necessary to contact you Do you subscribe to the concept of predestined affection based on initial visual perception, or shall I walk by again? I wish to request you accompany me to my quarters. Would the answer I receive be consistent with the answer you give for this question? You are the primary stimulus which causes males of the species to release endorphins and experience sexual desire. Would you consent to placing yourself upon my seated form, such that we may engage in discussion regarding whatever topic may come to our attention? I require aid in ascertaining the spring constant of my regulation mattress. Would you care to collect data? Because of your exceptionally 'dazzling' physical appearance, I seem to have temporarily lost my sense of sight. It is only logical you provide me with your name and number -- strictly for insurance reasons. Is it possible that you have inadvertently drifted off your projected course? This seems likely, given that 'heaven' does not appear to be anywhere in the vicinity. Were I given the authority to reorganize the Roman alphabet, I would endeavor to align 'U' in closer proximity to 'I'. I wish to confirm your proficiency at cardiopulmonary resuscitation, as I find myself experiencing an increased probability of respiratory system malfunction while in your vicinity. Is it possible that you have substantial training in interior decorating? This room appears to have become significantly more aesthetically pleasing since you entered it. Were you harmed on your descent from a questionably defined superlative afterlife? If indeed one's physical appearance were capable of instigating the death of an individual, you would be capable of complete annihilation of a species. Are you in possession of any dried, sugar-coated grapes? As this is apparently not the case, how would a date suit you? Were I to inform you that it is my opinion that you are in possession of a body which is exceptionally pleasing, what is the likelihood you would hold it against me? May I remark that the garments covering your lower body appear unusually reflective today? I find that it is possible to view myself in them. Did the tectonic plates beneath the crust of this planet just shift and overlap so as to cause vibrations to reach the surface or are you just exceedingly attractive? Pardon me, but I wish to ascertain if you hold a clerical position at the Academy book repository for I am, indeed, "checking you out," as it were. I am concerned that you are not showing signs of fatigue as you have been vigorously sprinting through the confines of my subconscious since dawn. Have the atmospheric controls for this room defaulted to an unusually high temperature many degrees above recommended levels -- or is it just you? Theoretically, if you were a phaser rather than an organic being, you would be decidedly inefficient as your only plausible setting would be "stunning". That standard issue Starfleet uniform accentuates your peak physical form admirably, but it is my professional opinion that said garment would be far better suited for a relocation to the floor of my personal quarters. Do you have any Vulcan genomes in you? ....Would you like to? I wish to inquire as to whether or not you prefer to recline on your stomach while sleeping. If not, may I?
117
« on: June 15, 2009, 03:03:12 pm »
While I was applying for jobs online, I received an email from an offer that seemed far too good to be true. I've done eBay for over 10 years not, so needless to say I can smell one of those mass mailing scams from miles away. I sent back a polite response at first just in case it was a valid offer and began to test them. Hope you enjoy the zinger I sent them at the end! Hello John Right now we are employing new personnel to fill the position of online finance manager. We have examined your resume and we think that you would suit this position well and work with us successfully. If you are still seeking for good wages and need a decent job, please contact us as soon as you could. As you may see this job is really perspective one and vacancies are limited. You can receive training during work. No need to invest any money, except for a set of the best human qualities and time. This job does not require you to leave your main occupation. Experience of work with customers is welcomed. Work of online manager consists of the following: conclusion of deals for financial services, including personal advisors. Call service of clients' support, clients' support online. We need responsible and energetic people to fill this position. Requirements: - citizenship of USA or United Kingdom - Age at least 21; - Computer knowledge in MS Office, Email, Internet; - Good communication skills; - Attention to details; - Opportunity to check your email several times a day; The schedule of work includes 3-4 hours per day, except for Sunday. (Part-Time Position) Payment makes up 31,000 $ per year. (500 $ per week) + social insurance and bonuses in case you do well. We also provide three weeks of paid vacations. This job is a good opportunity and if you miss a chance there can be no another one as the position we offer is a good way to built a successful career in our company. To start your successful career please contact me by e-mail and I will send you more details rebeccawilsonbg@yahoo.com I will send you the detailed information with the description and specificity of work. You are welcome! Best Regards, Senior Manager Rebecca Wilson mailto:rebeccawilsonbg@yahoo.com ------------------------- Hello Rebecca, First and foremost thank you for your lightning-quick reply! I am very much interested in the position you are describing and feel that it is quite certainly right up my alley. I must admit, I am somewhat of a computer nerd at heart, so the prospect of working in this type of profession definitely appeals to me. I've worked in online technical support, billing and accounts for ISP services since the age of fifteen, also working weekends instructing the elderly from my mother's choir group in MS Word document formatting and general OS proficiency. Since then, I have had well over 7 years of professional experience in both online and technical fields. Web development, online sales, Point of Sales systems and customer account management are all second nature to me! Please send me as much pertinent information about this position and the company you work for ASAP so that I can review the credentials of your corporation and attain a deeper understanding of the expectations for this position. What is the name of this company, for starters? How long has it been in business? Where are your offices located, and when would be a good opportunity to set up an interview in order and meet face-to-face? I can be available as soon as Tuesday, June 16th onward. I look forward to hearing more from you, and thank you for your valuable time. -John -------------------- Hello John At first, I would like to thank you for applying for the job opening with Barwells Group. We do appreciate the opportunity to deal with you and get to know more about you interests. The company in which I work and in which you can work is called Barwells Group. The main office of our company is in Switzerland in city Zurich. Barwells Group is a co rporation with our branches situating worldwide, and we are constantly extending our activities, so we always need new employees. Now we have vacancies to be filled at Transfer Service Department. This department is the youngest one in our company but its employees get one of the best wages. Transfer Service Department is the best way for new employees to show themselves as reliable personal advisors and responsible workers we can rely on. Position of Account Manager is only for reliable people. So, this department is an excellent starting point for your career. Just like you, I started my career at this department and on my own behalf I can say that the work is not very difficult but still it is very important. If you fulfill all the assignments correctly and on time, try to show a high-quality work and have desire to move ahead we will necessarily note it and you will get the promotion for more responsible position. As you could notice, this job fits you well and will not take you much time. Here are the job conditions and Main duties for the position of Online Account Manager : -You need to have constant free access to Internet and possibility to check your e-mail several times per day; Always fulfill all the assignments and follow our instructions properly; -Working with assets and orders processing. You will receive payments from our clients in your city and to process it. -You need to have the account in any bank of your country to be able to perform your functions and get your wage. You also need to be communicative and ready to discharge your duties fast and you will get additional bonuses for that. -You should have possibility to work via telephone. Workers of our company will call you and give different assignments. You will also need to give some information to our clients via telephone. Also you will be often called by employees of our company and to speak you some additional instructions when it will be necessary. Salary: During the trial period (1 month), you will be paid 2000 USD per month while working on average 3 hours per day, Monday-Friday, plus 5 commission from every transactions or task received and processed. The salary will be sent in the form of wire transfer directly to your account. After the trial period your base pay salary will go up to 3,500USD per month, plus 5 commission. This work is a very responsible one. Reputation of our company and peoples' trust highly depend on how well your do your work. We appreciate responsible employees and create them the most comfortable conditions for work.In order that our company could consider your application for the position at Transfer Service Department you need to fill Application Form attached to this e-mail.Please, fill Application Form completely, and put the signature in the end of the second page, confirming that you have specified the correct data. Then we will take final decision and sign needed papers. My job is to help you in managing payments and I'll be happy to provide you with all the details whenever possible. You can ask us any questions and we are always ready to answer them and help you. Best Regards, Senior Manager Rebecca mailto:rebeccawilsonbg@yahoo.com --------------------- No thank you. Switzerland is a bit of a commute for an interview, and I don't work for people I have never met face-to-face. Too much potential for data mining and identity theft, especially when one transmits personal info and bank data "to get paid" over the internet to complete strangers. One could then easily use said information online and perform direct wire transfers, emptying out the victim's account and issuing themselves credit cards and loans in their name. This is particularly a risk when an employer has a free yahoo.com account rather than a corporate or paid domain name, and there is no mention whatsoever of their company anywhere on the internet. Good luck in your endeavors. -John PS: I would suggest in the future that you target people who are currently employed as they have more money to siphon. Sure we unemployed folks might be easy targets as we are desperate and most are willing to do or believe anything to get a job, but it's kind of like stealing candy from 100 babies instead of picking the pocket of a single rich man. I can assure you that you will get far greater profit from one wallet than 100 lollipops. (I could send you some debt and credit card bills perhaps) Have you read up on a Mr. Charles Ponzi? It might be worth your while.
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« on: June 14, 2009, 04:57:18 am »
I was reading through some submissions and noted to myself that I've never seen anybody stick with a Wemic for very long. There have been plenty of very well RPed ones I met, but those characters get abandoned very quickly. When looking through the stats for them on Lore, I can understand why. Racial Qualities: * +2 Constitution, +2 Wisdom, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma (ESA +2 CON, +2 WIS, -2 INT, -2 CHA) * +2 to Listen, Spot and Search checks * +2 Animal Empathy * -2 AC from the size of the overall animal * -2 Concentration * -2 Appraise * -2 Persuade * Starting class restrictions: o Druid o Rogue o Ranger o Barbarian o Sorcerer o Bard * Barbarian Fast Movement * ECL: 2 when looking at stats, they are balanced with a +2,+2 vs. -2,-2. Skills have a +2 overall bonus with +2,+2,+2,+2 vs. -2,-2,-2. barbarian Fast movement is a plus, but the class restrictions easily balance that out. Then there's a ECL: 2 on par with a dark elf... ouch. Add to this that they receive -2 AC from a size large (Size large being usually a -1 ac according to D&D mechanics)... ouch ouch and then on top of all of that, they are restricted to not only never use heavy armors, but also never to use any medium armors as well as they are all made of worked metal. And add to that they don't even know common. They are also stricken from using any finished metal weapons according to Ed, which is a huge disadvantage considering one of the perks is that they can use large weapons one-handed. And they're supposed to use short bows as they're lower tech than longbows, which brings to mind the very hilarious image of a size large creature using a bow designed for a gnome. I understand the desire to make them rare, but the total stats come out to a -1 ECL in that without the skin, they'd actually get more bang for the buck. The double-whammy of -2 dodge ac and being limited to only light armor means that a starting wemic with a NICE DEX, say 16 would still have a 14 AC in Hide Armor, and even then they are discouraged from wearing armor unless in combat, which makes them sitting ducks for ambushes with an 11 AC. With an average DEX of 10, that's 11 AC in battle and 8 AC when not. I'd suggest one or more of the following changes: (and please add more ideas as you see fit!) 1. Some Natural Armor AC Bonus: as they aren't allowed to use anything but light armor. If you're a massive lion, that hide must add SOME protection, aye? It would also make for interesting RP as they would refuse most barkskin which would mess up their manes. 2. Lighten up on the banned weapons: If your perk is size large weapons can be used one handed, then let them use some size large weapons other than spear and quarterstaff which only do 1d8/x2 which is worse than a longsword. Let them use falchions, greataxes, halberds and the like. Not to mention scimitars which are already allowed for druids who shun metal weapons (or falchion, the wemic-sized scimitar ). 3. Lower the -2 dodge ac to -1 in line with Size Large Creatures. How do giantkin get +2 bonus dodge when they're large, while wemics with cat-feat get -2 dodge? Wouldn't four cat feet with great leaping power and fast movement be a better dodger than a two-legged giant of the same size? As the news has shown us, normal tiger can scale 8 foot tall walls and eat kids making fun of them at zoos with a single bound. They could also have at least a -1 to attack from being size large. 4. Scent Feat Automatically: Why take the feat manually later when they already were born with the nose attached to their face? Maybe specify that they MUST take this witht he human quick-to-master feat. 5: Low Light Vision: On par with the LORE description which points out that they see well in the dark having feline eyes. 6: Add +2 or +4 STR since they are size large with 4 feet and massive arms 7: Improved Unarmed Strike: as LORE states that they have large hands with retractable claws. 8: or just lower the ECL Thank you for your time considering these proposals and please anybody interested add some feedback on your own wemic experiences and your ideas for improvement. if you've made a wemic before but don't play it often, why not?
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« on: May 14, 2009, 12:57:11 am »
Had to chime in here to say that your last two chapters of the Dawn of Heroes series has been absolutely incredible. The NPC interactions, plots, traps, encounters, everything has been top notch. I particularly enjoyed how you set the scenes up in Hlint with the battles already in progress. It Gave a nice sense of urgency to the whole experience. Major, major kudos man!
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