Thanked Posts

41

Rumour Has It / Posted on noticeboards where good adventurers gather

« on: March 11, 2009, 02:16:55 am »

[SIZE=18]Greetings fellow adventurers and adventuresses!

Some time ago a friend of mine had an idea to see the city which he called home safeguarded against the perils of gnolls that infested the hills nearby. A dream where the men, women and children of his city would remember the gnoll menace only in tales. A dream of peace. Sadly this man has passed into the great unknown that awaits us all, his dream of a Haven safe from the gnoll menace going to the grave with him?

Yet I ponder, need his dream die? What better legacy to remember this man than to see his idea brought to fruition and Haven forevermore be a haven for it's citizens as well as just a name.

If you too once called Pyyran Rahth friend, then heed my call. Such a dream as his might be something that can still be accomplished by those who wish to remember.

Find me if you wish to see this dream fulfilled.[/SIZE]

Arkolio de'Averlain

[SIZE=10]// PM me if interested.[/SIZE]

42

Just for Fun / Pseudonym's random recommendations

« on: February 21, 2009, 05:25:47 pm »

You know, there I was, contemplating what a good choice I had made in renting that movie from the DVD store when it occurred to me ... yes Pseudo, you -do- have good taste and judgment. Share your gift. Help other that cannot help themselves. Yes, generous of nature as I am, I shall be your rudder through the treacherous waters of the DVD store/library/itunes website/whatever.

And so, here I present some things I have encountered, that I enjoyed, that I recommend to others.

43

Just for Fun / Awesome ads

« on: January 20, 2009, 06:47:56 am »

Funny ads a friend just sent to me. I'm not sure if they've done the rounds everywhere else but it was the first time I have seen them. Made me (and my wife) laugh.

44

Rumour Has It / Praise for the Silverguard

« on: January 06, 2009, 06:58:05 am »

*In taverns throughout the Port of Hempstead steins are lifted to toast the ever efficient Silverguard who protect the fair city and it's inhabitants. Just today saw yet another example of the diligent protection of the populace from near certain crimes-to-be when a squad of stout guards forcibly removed a cross-blooded giantkin from the docks district. Though no weapons were drawn in it's evulsion, more than one guard was seen sporting bruises afterwards as the giant ne'er-do-well refused to leave without "Me Wife"*

45

General Discussion / Merry Christmas!

« on: December 22, 2008, 08:23:00 am »

I know it's two days early but I don't think even with the lovely layo-tolerant wife I have will I be allowed near the forums on Christmas day.

Curse your secular political correctness ...

MERRY CHRISTMAS LAYONARA!!!

[/size][/color]

... from the Pseudonym clan!

46

General Discussion / So you think you're clever?

« on: December 12, 2008, 03:14:56 am »

So there you are, thinking you're pretty fair at puzzle based quests.

You've dissected darkstorme's deviltry.
You've conquered Carillon's conundrums.
You've made a mockery of Makashi's attempts to mystify.
You've extricated yourself from Ed's entanglements.

Game on!

47

Just for Fun / Inaugural Australian Layonaran BBQ

« on: December 05, 2008, 06:54:14 pm »

Inaugural Layonaran BBQ - South Eastern Australian Division

I can confirm the inaugural Layonaran Xmas BBQ was a success and saw the gathering of such luminaries as Pseudonym, Script Wrecked, Incahootz, Angelic, Hood!um, Dezza and Polak76.

The great divide between cyber and real life has been crossed with no casualties!

I can also confirm Script Wrecked really is a 2' 6" woman who rolls her 'R's, Polak turned up in black robes spouting Corathite rhetoric and Pseudonym was far more handsome than any of his posted photos might suggest.

48

Rumour Has It / Journey's End

« on: October 25, 2008, 10:11:01 am »

*Two forlorn figures lead a small cart to Folian's Temple in the depths of the Forst of Fog. Wordlessly, the older of the two figures, a lean man of middle years, takes from the cart the linen-wrapped body of his fallen friend and companion. Nearby, at the shoulder of the second figure, she a lithe younger woman who watches the scene through reddened eyes, a white-faced Belinaran monkey chitters and fidgets, distress and confusion written large in all-too-human expressions.

Moving slowly under the weight of his lifeless burden, the man approaches the High Priest of the Temple of the Longstrider. Carefully, gently, he lays the corpse to the sward at his feet.*

A fallen son of the Prince of Wolves.

*whispered*

Rest well nephew.

*With a nod towards his lady companion, the man quickly and quietly departs the temple to find the fallen's father and mother and tell them of life's greatest curse .. to outlive one's child.*




[size=-3]// The end of Trouble Tempest //[/size]

49

Wild Surge Inn / Sad news from Kuhl

« on: August 12, 2008, 07:59:18 am »

Queen Alise Langovale is greatly saddened to announce the tragic accidental death of one of her most able administrators, Carel Torfield of Amaria. Several city guardsmen were also slain in the hunting accident that saw the life of this civil servant cut horribly short. Overcome with grief at the loss of his friend, Lord Targol Marinio has decided to retire from office and spend more time with his family at their estate in Westgate.

During this period of mourning for the Kingdom of Kuhl the Queen would like to recognise Carel's tireless service to the crown and his most admirable efforts for the continual betterment of the welfare of all Kuhl's people.

The Queen hopes the appointment of Her Majesty's own cousin, Zerrel Langovale, as Lord Regent of Amaria will, in assuredly a barely adequate manner, continue the tradition of fine and loyal service begun by this departed friend.

50

Just for Fun / An oldie but a goodie

« on: August 08, 2008, 06:35:01 am »

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In light of your failure in recent years to nominate a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary):

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side of the road with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience we care not to experience ever again.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans, Kiwis and Aussies will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Aussies first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

51

General Discussion / "There will be Blood" Quest postponed

« on: August 07, 2008, 08:08:01 am »

Event no longer being held on the original posted date and time.

Hi all. Due to IC reasons, this quest (link above) is postponed to a future date still to be determined (subject to a few IC variables).

Though the reasons for the postponement are entirely IC, I do apologise as I know often people have to juggle RL things to make themselves available for scheduled quests.

Instead I will run a shortish stand alone quest (for those that have already negotiated a leave pass from husbands/wives/families/work) in it's stead. Details will be up on the calendar shortly.

52

General Discussion / Congratulations ...

« on: July 25, 2008, 10:58:52 am »

... to Layonara's newest World Leader, Sallaron Tempest!

Yes, you read that right.

Administrative error?
GM team oversight?
Leanthar going soft in his old age?
Lowering standards?
Plain dumb luck?

Probably a combination of all the above.

Congrats LordCove!

53

Just for Fun / Life tips

« on: July 10, 2008, 08:27:29 am »

Another public service announcement. I know we have quite a few young players and I honestly believe the Layo forums can be a valuable medium for imparting these important life lessons.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending $50 to yourself by the Postal service.

EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

HOME MAINTENANCE: You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

HOME IMPROVEMENTS: If it doesn't fit - get a bigger hammer.

CINEMA GOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'?" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside department stores with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".

SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.

COLD: If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a Naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto - a warm snack!

HOME MAINTENANCE: If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

YOUNG MOTHERS: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.

FEMALE SHOP ASSISTANTS: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them $50 labour costs for the transaction.

54

Just for Fun / Euthanasia

« on: May 22, 2008, 08:12:08 pm »

Last night my son and I were sitting in the study and I said to him,

"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all,
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
 
...

...

...

...

...

...

So he got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my coke.

55

General Discussion / Thanks to mix

« on: May 06, 2008, 08:48:41 am »

Last week I have had the fortune to participate in two mixafix quests .. both excellent. Mixafix is a treat we don't normally get to enjoy in AEST timezone but i'm real glad he's got a few days off work (or whatever) and able to run some great quests.

If you can make them, do yourselves a favour.

56

Just for Fun / Timely warning

« on: April 08, 2008, 07:04:00 pm »

Pseudo's Community Service of the Day

Are you SURE you're ready to have children??

Test 1 - Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.

3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
 
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.


Test 3 - Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.  
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk

Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
 
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children.

57

Just for Fun / The gauntlet is thrown

« on: April 04, 2008, 08:23:44 pm »

One minute, 49 seconds is my time to beat.

Escapa!

58

General Discussion / New Guild Application

« on: February 14, 2008, 06:21:24 pm »

Hi. I have been thinking about how to do this post IC but have given up after half a dozen attempts.

Firstly, if you cannot trust yourself not to metagame then read no further.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Seriously. If you're not sure you're up to it, cease now.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .


Okay, if you're still reading, remember you have agreed not to metagame.

What you need to know.

New guild proposal - seeking members. We need to have confirmed participants before this can be formally taken to Leanthar for approval.

Guild: The Vault

First Tier of operations.
Legitimate moneylending enterprise.

Receive deposits from players at 10% interest paid per RL month.
Loan money to players at 20% interest received per RL month.

Simple huh?

Second Tier of operations.
Something for our 'seedier' characters. Please PM for details if this is something that you think might be of interest for your character.

IMPORTANT -> Those operating in the first tier will have no knowledge of those involved in the second tier (and vice versa). There would be two entirely separate forums established. Membership of one aspect/tier will almost certainly preclude membership of the other (though not at a customer level, ie a member of the guild second tier might still want to borrow money).

Okay, what do I need from you?

If one wants to buy a seat on the 'table' of the Vault (first tier operations) - entitling them to a say in policy matters and a fair and proportional share of bank profits (if any) - the cost is 100,000 true.

If one wants to buy a seat at the 'ring' of the Vault (second tier of operations) - entitling then to certain things (PM for more info'n) - the cost is 100,000 true.

Can't afford it? I hear there is a bank opening with reasonable rates of interest.

Feel free to post expressions of interest (excuse the pun) or clarifying questions here. Those expressing interest in the second tier might wish to send me a PM. This new guild is provisional based upon sufficient interest and members.

Regards,
Pseudo

59

Trade and Market Hall / Wanted: Mithril Shortblade

« on: January 20, 2008, 09:06:49 pm »

[size=-2]// Sung to Bon Jovi's 'Wanted Dead or Alive' //[/size]

It's not the same, my ability to hit will change
Everyday it seems i'm (fruitlessly) slashing away
Another foe with the tough armour i'm told
I'd hack all night with my iron and II cold

I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade

Sometimes it's constructs, sometimes it's outsiders
And the warriors I meet have no issues with queen spiders
Sometimes I rue the day
By the blade that never goes clink
And times when you're alone all you do is think

I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade

I walk these lands, a yew shortbow on my back
I avoid the crypts, 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, and I'm feeling somewhat small
Every foe's got immunity and I've missed them all

I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman, I got the night on my side
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'd kill for a shortsword, mithril blade
I want a shortsword, mithril blade

I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade

I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade

Arkolio de'Averlain

60

General Discussion / Happy Birthday Tan the Man

« on: December 30, 2007, 05:19:28 pm »

Or, as they say in the land of rugby and cricket humiliation,

Hari ra whanau!

Happy Birthday Tanman, on this day may all your mystery minerals be emeralds, all your SS rolls be > (your level + 1) and your alcohol fortitude saves be plentiful!