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Messages - Aphel
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81
« on: October 09, 2013, 03:51:54 pm »
~A letter to Orn~
Dear Orn, my Love,
This is my third attempt to write you a letter, and the third time I feel my thoughts dry up in the attempt to find words to write. I have looked up towards the moon you share your name with, and tried to make a poem that would be able to make a follower of Ilsare cringe.
Days like these, it's easier to find words for the dead and for novels than for the people we should talk with and write to. I can't explain it, not yet.
I buried two men today, a son and his father, and held the rites and spend the days talking with their family. The bandit attack left them shattered, wounded, with many of their material wealth damaged or destroyed. I did what I could for them, did my best to heal their wounds of both body and mind, although the people trust their neighbours more than the followers of Toran nowadays, or maybe both equally little. The brother will take care of the family, and I left them some trues. Their dog died as well, and the daughter of the family told me to take care of one of the pups. The pups still tried to nudge their mother and suck her milk when she was already dead from a quarrel wound to the side, in the chaos, of course nobody noticed until the end. It is impressive how the pups were something the others clung to automatically, busied themselves with to have something to do, making it easier to cope. Maybe this is why we love and write and care, because it makes it easier to cope.
To me, Marius and Julian Hystarn are just two more names in a book filled with the names of the dead. I wrote onto the first page when I began this list in Fiorez “We died so you could face a new dawn”, and it is growing longer ever since. Did I do a good deed? Maybe so. I couldn't prevent it, just help them to cope with it, use the gifts Toran gave me to help with the injuries and dull the pain. I am sure those scars will never go away truly, will just be hidden, but at least I tried to help them with the first steps. Maybe it was too soon, maybe it was just what they needed, somebody to talk to that could understand them beyond listening and giving condolences. It is no joy to be a paladin of Toran at most times, but it certainly is what is needed. Your grandfather asked my once if I did not find any joy in my duties, and at times like these, it's even harder to properly answer that question. You see, you endure various things, help, and try not to become a bitter cynic unless it's direly needed.
There's just no way to explain what you mean to me, because, I guess, you are how I cope, with my love to you. I wish you were here, now, so that I could take you in my arms and feel the restlessness, the loneliness ebb away because you're close and I love you. How to describe it, I do not know. I tried, wrote four pages and discarded one. Maybe I should sleep, but I can't – I am seeing the moon and thinking of you, the puppy whimpers, and I need to stay awake as the night can be full of hideous things. These people need rest, and so do I, eventually, but I can endure and do a little bit more than them. I wish you were here, I miss you and your eyes and smile and face and hair and smell and all of you. I am trying to come back to you as soon as I can.
With love,
~William
~Another letter to Orn~
My beloved Orn,
I cannot stop thinking about you, your eyes and the taste of your lips. I am a bit afraid that this might become a love letter full of kitsch and lack of meaning, but I am so very tempted to write down my thoughts, as if to find the meaning in them that is hidden from me – then pen is such a merciless revealer of things, mundane and important, and some best stay hidden. But I can feel your love and your trust, even if you are not close. I remember your touches, as if the feeling of your arms around me is burned into my memory. The light I share with Toran is different, it is a back to back kind of thing, a deep friendship of sorts, a bond of ideas and ideals and trust. With you, it is different, with you I share what is abbreviated with many words, all failing their task. It's love, care, trust, responsibility, romance, desire, intimacy and many more. They're attempts to describe feelings, impressions, thoughts, and were I tasked with writing them into a work, I would give it my best and nevertheless fail to achieve the unachievable. There are so many ways and ideas to see it, and right now, I am trying to come to terms with the memories of us. We merged our souls on so many occasions, you, freely giving your ear and words and heart selfless and with love. And I, coming to terms with the ghosts that haunt me, with the things that happened and their meaning, I was so lost without you. The thought that it is me who makes you happy, who makes you smile, who makes you feel warm and comfortable and safe – I can't describe what that means to me, at least not properly. Happy, and fulfilled is a good description. Loved.
What we share and shared is both a destructive and creative force that drives so many things. It is glorious, mysterious, beautiful, something that opened my eyes just like your love, your words, your laughter and your kisses. Now, things have a new perspective to them, a new depth that I knew before but never understood, and even now I am doubting that I got it. It's to mighty to tame it and describe it with words. I let go of some things, thanks to you, and I long for the moment we hold each other again, against whatever the future holds for us. And whatever happens, I pray I will never stop loving you, never stop caring and protecting. I have an obligation, something that is both archaic and old as the bones of the world as it is noble and so important that it never made it into the Conducts of Virtue. Empathy, Conviction, Humility, Sacrifice are so closely tied to it – your grandfather carved “Sacrifice and Commitment” into the blade he send me, and it is telling that Toran held out his hand protective over the days we met, so that our fates might be entangled and that we both might find out something new and deeply important.
I can't wait for the moment we meet again, maybe talk about these things, I certainly want to know what my beloved thief thinks of it.
With love,
~William
PS: I think the puppy is missing you. I have a name for her now – how about Pax?
*A small package comes with the letter, something soft wrapped into a waxed leather sheet. It is one of William's shirts, plain, simple, and a bit worn on the seams and sleeves. It's not really dirty, but from the smell he wore it for some time. A note is tucked to it*
Sweet thief,
I hope that helps a bit if you miss me too much and can't sleep. I can supply you with those, I hope. Don't chuckle!
I love you, a lot,
~Will
~ A letter from Orn to William ~
My Love,
How is it even in words you disarm me? Leave any thoughts I had in my head gone! The only thoughts remain are filled with the sounds of your voice, of your laughter. I can hear your voice speaking your love to me. I am wearing your shirt as I write you this letter, pretending it is your arms that are holding me and it's your body covering mine. When we see each other next do not be surprised that I am wearing it beneath my clothes.
Tell me everything, anything, I love hearing your thoughts, your needs, that you cannot stop thinking of me or needing me. I will tell you right back that it is the same for me. My love for you grows everyday, you are the first thing that I think about when I wake up, and the last thing when I go to sleep. In my dreams you are there holding me, and we are sharing our souls with one another. At least now I have your shirt, so I am not as sad when I wake up and you are not there. Sometimes I lay in my bed at night, wondering what you are doing, how you are doing, where you are. At night I look at the stars and wonder are you looking at the same ones that I am. You are so special to me, and I thank Toran everyday for having Him bring you into my life.
Toran... We share a love of Toran, and in our hearts He is first. You may agree or disagree with that statement, but as you said the light you and I share with Toran is different. What I am trying to say my Love, serve Toran secure your love for him, fulfill His calling, He is our friend our Leader, our guide. I will be right beside you, understanding what Toran asks of you and me.
Do not think to much on our love William, what I have seen it cannot be explained or understood. The heart knows what it wants, and it does not see anymore then that. The beauty of it that we can see each other grow as individuals and as a couple. If we do not loose focus on what is important and keep our faith in each other then we will love one another. I trust you, and keep your love and happiness in my keeping. I loved what you wrote to me. Do not let me go William, hold onto me tightly. Feel my love as I love you.
Give Pax a kiss on her nose for me, and tell her I have saved her some beef bones for her. (love the name)
Until we can see each other again, keep yourself safe for me with Toran's grace. I miss you as much as I love you.
Till then my Love,
~Your Orn
82
« on: October 01, 2013, 07:22:05 am »
83
« on: October 01, 2013, 06:42:48 am »
Welcome back! I think I met Quantum with Aden, once on a quest (taking Briardusk?) and once for some RP. See you on the server and around in the forums, I hope!
84
« on: October 01, 2013, 06:35:24 am »
[low-entropy information]If birds evolved from dinosaurs, eggs were first in any case. That also means that the robin in your garden was a velociraptor once, its song heralding your unduely demise.[/low-entropy information] Thanks for keeping the issue on the radar. Without wanting to heat the discussion, I would like to point out that I think that there is a number of regular active GMT players neccessary in the first place - whether or not there's a GM for that timezone. And if that number tends to dwindle, there's no use in having a GMT GM. I would like to encourage those who have the time to play, organize trips, events or whatever else, and focus on that - everything else will develop on its own.
85
« on: October 01, 2013, 06:16:28 am »
*repeats after milty* ...must find more time...
86
« on: September 29, 2013, 03:13:57 pm »
Thanks for stepping up and becoming a GM again. I am looking forward to see you online with the others, chasing our characters around and being the source of terror, suspense, tragedy and lost hours of sleep.
87
« on: August 28, 2013, 05:09:15 pm »
By donation system, do you mean giving items to various chartiy causes or deities for Fortune points or am I not understanding that quite right?
Yes, that is what I meant.
88
« on: August 28, 2013, 03:18:56 pm »
With "lost" I meant something similar to losing XP (which can happen as a penalty, for example, if a character dies repeatedly) - if I understand you correctly, you say that such a mechanic is not intended in the Fortune System as it is now (hence, no fortune penalty in the sense of fortune loss, but rather slower gain in fortune or different means - or loss of means - that a character has to spend it). Thanks for the explanation, it cleared things up a little. Are there any plans for the future to to include for example the donation system into this as well? And can characters gain fortune as a CDQ reward?
89
« on: August 28, 2013, 01:03:01 pm »
I am very excited to see this and how it is going to work out. Thanks Rowana and Dorganath for tinkering around with this idea and making it happen. Dorg, you said that One way to think of it is a representation of a character's "social capital", their influence, reknown or reputation, though in some other ways it is also just a way for us to reward and thank you for spending time in-game. Despite Fortune being earned simply by being in-game, as you'll read below, the Fortune rewards for more RP-focused activities are greater, and so there are some significant RP ways to spend one's accumulated Fortune.
Does this also encompass infamy, or will that be tracked by loss of fortune? Does fortune also encompass a certain amount of luck, or karma (there, I said it) that is accumulated and can be spend (but never lost)?
90
« on: March 04, 2013, 01:16:15 pm »
These are some very interesting ideas, and in part, I have seen them mentioned like slightly different in other discussions. I guess it has to do with the fact that the possibility of having one's character's evolvement influenced in a way that one doesn't want to isn't exactly something thats generally liked. Or, in short, I'd like to add to your comment mixafix that we need to dare: dare to ask somebody OOCly if they need or want a villian in their game, via PM or /t; that we need to make certain things our characters do public (via "Roumors has it" or similar things) and generally strife to create a lot of stories to enjoy together. I'd like to participated in other people's RP, projects and so on, but oftentimes I don't know (or don't have the time/resources/character) or don't dare to intrude other people's RP. Again, providing ooc information of what you are up to for other players is nice, using the roumor section is nice, and letting the RP roll with conflicts and the solution thereof might just be a step in the right direction. One could create a plot from this, and finalize the archievement either with a CDQ or some other form of GM checking and approval (writing might help). For example, a GM runs a quest which spawns the desire for one character for a follow-up. Other characters enter the RP stage, and the final is a struggle to achieve one's goals. Using some sort of Faction quest (Warring factions?) here might be what you are looking for (or not), since it would allow a huge possibility for character development that is approved by a GM. That'S a lot of work, tho. Generally, I'd suggest to just get the ball rolling. Tell other people about your ideas (even the crazy ones) and see what you can make of it. Involve a GM who has time and likes the topic. And then just get the ball rolling.
91
« on: March 03, 2013, 04:36:28 am »
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
92
« on: February 27, 2013, 01:38:17 pm »
Has the CDQ had its day or should it stay? Well, for now, it needs to stay because some things can't be handled differently. I am certain that it would mean a great deal of help for the GMs if there were more players that could help other players progress, but in the end, something needs to be tracked somewhere, approved and checked. For example, I'd love it if there was some sort of active ranger group which could take characters under their wing, test them, make them part of their circle, and then let them have progress in that circle. Same for the Toranites. From what I can see, we just don't have enough time and players to do so, hence, in that regard, CDQs are necessary. Is there a better way for GMs to help to develop RP? Yes, there is. Quests, both the small ones and the world-altering ones. Impromtus, too. I would that it is not the GMs fault that people do not, or late, develop their characters. It is not necessarily their fault either that players let other players not participate in the developemt in their characters. Sometimes, you can't attend a CDQ because you don't have time or weren't invited. Sometimes, you're excluded from a quest series because you can't attend regularly, so, no participation and involvement in (world-altering) quests for you. That is true, not so good at times, and can be quite annoying. However, there are other ways of developing a character, and I want to refuse the thought that CDQs are the only way to develop a character in game. The only way to develop a character in game is by resolving conflict. To me, no other way is currently thinkable. It sounds rediculous, is derived from my writing experience, and your mileage might vary. There are a few kinds of conflicts that define characters, make stories readable and interesting: - Conflict of a character with her- or himself
- Conflict of a character with other characters
- Conflict of a character with her or his environment
The first kind is a player responsibility. The second kind of conflict is dependant on whether it is a deity, an NPC, or a PC. It is GM-player or player-player interaction. The third kind of conflict is always GM-player interaction in one way or another. Quests are a good source for conflict, but so is player interaction. But the main thing to do, to define and play out the conflict, to find means to resolve it, to actually have character development, that's the task of each player for her- or himself. It can be done by ingame interaction, by PM or by IRC. GMs and CDQs are merely parts of a medium with safeguards which provides us with the possibility for character development, and nothing more. Period. Unless the player wishes it, a CDQ does not provide a random new conflict to the character. It should just be a step towards resolving a conflict or achieving a certain goal. It is understandable that not all players wish to make their character's conflics public or want other players to strongly influence how their characters resolve certain conflict, or at which speed and whatnot. But it is important to understand even at the charcter creation and especially later in the game which conflics a character is in, and if she or he wants to resolve it, how, when, and with whom. There are, currently, quite a few opportunities for conflicts of a character with her or his environment out there, all provided by the GM and writing team. To be honest, I do not have the time to participate and use all the conflicts I am currently interested in exploring with my characters. There's plenty of writing to be done, CDT and just for the fun of it, there's plenty RP to be done, maneuvering via PM and ingame conversations, there is plenty of fighting with weapons and magics to be done. One just has to take the time and the courage to get to it, no GM required. Sometimes things don't go too well, or simply slow because of different timezones and available spare time, but that shouldn't keep anyone going. So let's get those IC conflicts going and OOCly enjoy the path to their resolvement together.
93
« on: February 26, 2013, 10:07:36 pm »
~ Creed ~
The folds of realities are my hunting grounds, and this is my pack. I keep the balance of my hunting grounds in order, so that it does not fall apart. To that end, I am free to do as I see fit as a follower of the Great Hunter Folian S'pae. I am silent, unobtrusive and wise in the choice of path and method to keep the hunting ground and its inhabitants, prey and hunters alike, safe from destruction that always lingers.
94
« on: February 26, 2013, 12:56:06 pm »
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
95
« on: February 26, 2013, 09:21:02 am »
Thanks to the GM team, and congratulations to everyone, may you use that XP/new character level purposefully and with joy. @Anonymous One THANK YOU. I find myself agreeing with Dremora. Then again, I rather go around to tug sleeves for "just one more story, prettyplease".
96
« on: February 25, 2013, 06:01:59 pm »
Character DevelopmentOnce your characters are attached to your forum account via your public CD key, you can add character development entries to this character, set who can read it and who can't and so on. 1. Go to the page of the character you want to add a character development entry to In my case, this was William Leox. You can go there either by searching in the character database or via your forum profile. Click on "Character Development". 
This should lead you to a screen, which will in the beginning look like this: 
If you click on "Add a new update about this character", it will lead you to the familiar edit window. At the bottom, you should find your character already tagged to this development entry: 
Once your are satisfied with the entry, click submit. The entry will now be created and you will be able to look at it. But there is more. Access controlIn the top right corner of your character's profile as well as in the top right corner of your newly created development entry, you will find a header named "Access control". This enables you to set who can see your character's profile or your development entry. 
Click on it, and you will be directed to a settings page: 
Set a marker at the group of users you want to see your profile or CDT entry. At the bottom of the list, you will find a way to grant access to certain users seperatly: 
Add those that you want to see this entry, then click submit. Voilá, it's done. Now we can merge both the public and private CDT into one, setting reading rights as appropriate.
97
« on: February 25, 2013, 03:58:10 pm »
When I try to download the portrait pack, it stops after ~256KB, when I try to open it, it says that the archive ended unexpectantly. Does that help in any form?
98
« on: February 25, 2013, 05:32:00 pm »
To accept an invititation, go to the event page: 
Scroll down to the bottom 
Click on "view invitation", and you should come to this screen: 
Click on the "signup to invitation" header. This should lead you to a screen where you have to confirm signing up: 
And now you should be able to adjust your attendance: 
Hope that helped. There should be another way to get an invitation, I just got it over clicking at the event in the calendar which makes it more complicated because you have to get the invitation first by yourself. Thanks to the Gray Wolf for providing an event I could use as an example, see you there if you're there.
99
« on: February 23, 2013, 07:50:34 am »
The wood was dry by now, those of the branches which did not show tell-tale signs of cracks or twists rested on his working table. They would become sturdy, simple bows, lacking most of the artistic refinement that for example Sehky's bow had. He was fine with that. The display of craftsmanship would be that they were always there and ready to use, able to take a lot of punishment. Not everything, but a lot. During his travels he had been able to study various bow designs in use, and the display cases and chests of the Angel's Guild proved to be most interesting. He would test each of the bows thoroughly before beginning the long way to enchant them, to prove that his design was practical. They would see a lot of training usage, after all. When he held the first bow in his hands, strung ready for a few test shots, he wondered if it really would be that easy. Maybe I should do the whole training myself. The Rangers won't waste their time with teaching them how to read and write, or the ways of the city. He tried to find words, names, verbs to describe what he was doing and how. He couldn't explain it, properly. He couldn't even convince himself, or describe the intuitive way to hold and use a bow. Grumbling, he noticed the bad quality of the old string he used, coming apart slowly. Wax. Enchantment. Different quality, maybe. Wasn't dry enough. If I even can't describe the simple things, how to teach the hard things? Well, at least they'll have bows. If they would be up to the task was a whole different matter. He needed armor too, or at least raw hide and how to make it. He should train that, too. But I can't leave everything to the others. Jil might be a better teacher than I am, but can she put up with twelve recruits? We might need more than that, and she has other task as well. After his fingers became numb stumps from the arrows he fletched, he found himself pondering over a sheet of parchment, drawing a line from top to bottom. On one side, he wrote physical training and on the other mental training. During his training, he had been exposed to these two aspects as well. Physical training | Mental training | Endurance & Strength | Discipline & mental strength | Agility & Coordination | Tactics & Strategy | Survival & Weapon Drill | Traditions & Knowledge |
Interestingly enough, everybody seems to use the same pattern in training, from the Pack to the followers of Toran. He should talk with Elly or another disciple of healing to find out how to train certain things safely, of course. Maybe that would reduce the amount of accidents that caused a paralyzing delay during the training. Then again … When he found himself writing too much, noting down training schedules, he tossed the notes away and instead returned to play with his son. That was way more educating and also inspiring than those dry words on parchment. The enchanting of the bow could wait, boxes of red feathered arrows and the right quantities of enchantment oil at the ready and stored away safely.
100
« on: February 22, 2013, 04:33:11 pm »
I have no idea where to access this page more quickly yet (I am sure there's a link somewhere), however, it's quite useful: http://layonara.com/node/add It provides an overview over the various content an user can create.
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