For the Angel's Guild. Made public at the suggestions of Daniel Benjamin Poetr.
Written by Andrew Reid for and with consultation from Hedessa Tanario. This was to have been produced at the Angel's celebration. With Hedessa's passing, it is dedicated to her, and Ben, and the rest of the Angels.
Angel's Guild Members (in order of appearance):
Andrew - Narrator
Alazira -- Self
Layl -- Self
Alatriel -- Self
Kyle -- Self
Ferrit -- Self
Kyle -- Playing Ben
Ben -- Playing Hedessa
Alatriel -- Playing Ferrit
Amgine -- Playing Layl
Layl -- Playing Elohanna
Ferrit -- Playing Jako
Customers (in order of appearance):
Hedessa -- Tailoring Customer
Daniel -- Instrument Customer
Alazira -- Infusing Customer
Elohanna -- Scribing Customer
Tod -- Metals Customer
Narrator: Behind the scenes at the Angel Guild Play...
Alazira: So now what do we do.
Layl: I don't know. He's always late. ALWAYS.
Alatriel: We could dress Kyle up. You humans all look alike anyway.
Alazira: I like it. *looks at Kyle*
Layl: Fine, dress Kyle up. *looks at Kyle*
Alatriel: *looks at Kyle*
Kyle: No. No way. Not going to happen...
Alatriel: Why the hells not?
Kyle: His pants always chafe!
Alatrial: *looks at Kyle, blinking*
Alzira: *looks at Kyle, blinking*
Layl: *looks at Kyle, blinking*
Kyle: *blushes*
Ferrit: Shh! Just put on the clothes or I'll make you play Essa.
Kyle: Yes dear.
Narrator: The scene opens in the new shop. Ben is tidying the counter top.
Kyle: *in Ben's too-tight pants and shirt* Well, here we are, in the new shop, ready for business. *polishes the counter with a crooked grin, glancing at the front door from time to time*
Kyle: Yup. The place looks great. Anytime now. *continues to polish*
Narrator: Time passes...
Kyle: Blast. We need a hook. HEDESSA!
Ben: *sashays out, swaying his hips* Yes, Benji? *twirls a lock of his hair*
Kyle: Can you go out and drum up someone business? You know, use your *finger quotes* people skills? *goes back to polishing the countertop and fussing with the inventory chests*
Ben: *bats his eyes and in a husky voice* Of course, handsome. *sashays outside the shop, then swiftly tacks up a sign that says "FREE BEER INSIDE".* All done!
Kyle: Um...*watches "Essa" sway past with some concern*
Hedessa: *takes a look at the sign* Oh, free beer! *walks inside*
Kyle: *gruffly* Hey, lady. Welcome to the Angels Guild Adventurer Outfitters, how can I help you?
Hedessa: Dwarven Stout, please. In a frosted glass. A BIG frosted glass!
Kyle: This is the Angels Guild, not a bar.
Hedessa: But the sign said --
Kyle: What sign? This isn't a bar!
Hedessa: *patiently* The one outside, with FREE BEER in big block letters?
Kyle: ESSA!
Ben: *high pitched giggle from the back room*
Hedessa: So, no beer?
Kyle: *sighs* No ma'am.
Hedessa: And you do what, here, again?
Kyle: We are the Angels Guild Adventurer Outfitters -- we outfit all your advent...
Hedessa: *waves an impatient hand* Yes, Yes. I could use a new dress then.
Kyle: That we can help you with. FERRIT!
Alatrial: *sneaks up behind Ben, appearing suddenly* Yes?
Kyle: AGH! Don't DO that!
Alatrial: *smiles*
Kyle: The lady wants a new dress.
Alatrial: Of course. This way. *they exit to back room*
Kyle: *moves to take down the beer sign*
Daniel: *walks in* Ah, my good man! A mug of beer and quickly, I'm parched!
Kyle: We're not a bar. This is the Adventure Outfitters --
Daniel: But the sign --
Kyle: *grits his teeth through his crooked grin* We are a crafting guild. Ignore the sign. Please.
Daniel: Ah. Pity.
Kyle: Is there something else I can help you with?
Daniel: A glass of Black Hills Chablis, perhaps?
Kyle: *forces his crooked grin* We're not a bar...
Daniel: Well...do you make guitars?
Kyle: *turns abruptly and bellows* LAYL!
Amgine: *bounces out with a wink* Yes, Ben?
Kyle: The man wants an instrument.
Amgine: Oh, fun! Come on sugar, let's get you strung up...
Daniel: I like the sound of that! *winks at the audience and goes into the back room with Amgine*
Kyle: *moves to take down the sign again*
Alazira: *strides in* A dwarven stout, and make it snappy!
Kyle: *smacks his forehead* We are not a bar. This is the Angels Guild, Adventure -
Alazira: Tower Malt?
Kyle: Not. A. Bar.
Alazira: Silver Buckle Gin, then! *bright smile*
Kyle: We are NOT A BAR. I don't serve alcohol here! No beer! *getting upset*
Alazira: No beer?
Kyle: No beer.
Alazira: I'll just have some Xeenite wine then.
Kyle: BLAST IT! *begins to babble to himself*
Alazira: And a raise dead scroll.
Kyle: *pivots and bellows* ELLY!
Layl: *moves out with gentle grace* Yes, Ben?
Kyle: The lady wants a raise dead scroll.
Layl: *a sunny smile* That will take a little while...would you care for a glass of wine while you wait?
Alazira: *shoots a smug look at "Ben"* Don't mind if I do! *follows "Elly" into the back room*
Kyle: *moves to take down the sign yet again*
Elohanna: *barges in, all hustle* Hey, hello, wow, it's hot out there.
Kyle: Yes it is. *moves toward door*
Elohanna: Hey, hey, my beer?
Kyle: No beer. Adventuring gear. We outfit Adventurers. WE. DO. NOT. SERVE. BEER.
Elohanna: Ohh. How about a wand then? I can stir my beer with it!
Kyle: *bellows* ESSA!
Ben: *sways out* Yes, Benji?
Kyle: *glares at her* A rod for the lady.
Ben: Isn't that your job, sugar? *giggles and takes Elly into the back room*
Kyle: *dives for the door, and trips over Tod*
Tod: Ah, excuse me, I'd like a --
Kyle: WE HAVE NO FREE BEER! NO STOUT, NO ALE, NO BEER! Nothing but adventuring gear! No liquor! No wine! No booze of any kind! WE'RE THE ANGELS GUILD! NOT A BAR! *panting, face red*
Tod: Um. I wanted some armor?
Kyle: *standing, embarassed* Oh, well, then. JAKO!
Ferrit: *comes out silent, and waits*
Tod: Here, it's all on this order. *hands over a piece of paper*
Ferrit: *takes the paper and starts to leave*
Tod: Oh, and a short sword! *hands over a piece of paper*
Kyle: JAKO!
Ferrit: *returns and takes the paper, then turns to leave*
Tod: Oh, oh! And I have some platinum that needs smelting to ingots! *hands over a clearly heavy box*
Kyle: JAKO!
Ferrit: *returns and takes the box, turns, then hesitates*
Tod: Let's see...*pats his vest, then shakes his head*
Ferrit: *hesitates one moment more, then starts to leave*
Tod: Oh! *snaps his fingers and pulls another scrap from a vest pocket* And some good healing potions --
Kyle: JAKO!
Ferrit: *turns around again, fists full of paper and box under his arm, and walks, very slowly and deliberately back to Kyle. Reaches out slowly, takes the paper from his hand in a quick snapping motion, returns his hand slowly, tucks the paper with the others, then waits, drumming his fingers*
Tod: That's all! *bright smile*
Ferrit: *waits, fingers drumming*
Tod: Really. That's all.
Ferrit: *eyes him suspiciously for a moment*
Tod: *another bright smile*
Ferrit: *turns to leave*
Tod: Oh, wait -- what's this? *takes out a piece of paper*
Ferrit: *turns ever so slowly*
Tod: Ah, just an old grocery list. Don't suppose you can help a fellow with apples and cheese, can you? *smiles*
Ferrit: *rolls his eyes, turns on one heel and marches out*
Kyle: We'll get it done. Oh -- would you take down that sign by the door on your way out?
Tod: Be happy to! *leaves, grabbing the sign as he goes, then walks back in* Hey -- says here free beer? *takes out a mug and slaps it on the counter*
Kyle: *begins to weep*
*curtain close*
Narrator: Just another day of business at the Angels Guild, Adventure Outfitters...
