A crowd gathers at the entry to the hall ...

[Pseudonym]

*All those walking past the trade and market hall can see and hear a hawker, dressed in a straight jacket with a parrot on his shoulder, shouting his advertisement*


ARKOLIO HAS GONE COMPLETELY MAD!!


HE'D HAVE TO BE INSANE TO LET THESE THINGS GO AT THESE CRAZY LOW, LOW PRICES ...


... ADAMANTIUM TOWER SHIELDS, NOT 50,000 TRUE, NOT 40,000 TRUE, NOT EVEN 30,000 TRUE, JUST 12,000 TRUE ... YESSIR, YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY, JUST 12,000 TRUE ... FOR ADAMANTIUM TOWER SHIELDS!!


... GREATER MAGE ROBES GO OUT THE DOOR AT 20,000 TRUE [size=-3]// lvl req. 18 //[/size] ...


... ARK HAS GONE COMPLETELY BANANAS!! DIAMOND RINGS TO MAKE YOU SMARTER, STRONGER, FASTER, WISER [size=-3]// +2 to ability, lvl req. 12 //[/size] .. YES MA'AM, MAYHAPS HE SHOULD WEAR ONE OF THOSE RINGS OF OWL'S WISDOM FOR THEN HE'D SEE THE UTTER LUNACY OF SELLING THEM FOR ONLY 12,000 TRUE!! GET IN QUICK FOLKS, ONLY 12,000 TRUE FOR DIAMOND RINGS ...


... DON'T JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, LET'S ASK THIS COMPLETELY IMPARTIAL BYSTANDER!

*A woman, up until this point watching in silence, steps forward from the gathered crowd*

HELLO MADAM, HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

No Sir, until this moment we have never spoken *wooden acting*

HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT ANYTHING FROM CRAZY ARKOLIO BEFORE MADAM?

Yes Sir. I have purchased a set of adamantium full plate and I must say, though I was initially attracted by the crazy prices, I was also impressed with the service and the quality. *testimony given, she steps back into the crowd*

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS ...


... YEW LONGBOW AT 35,000 TRUE, GET FLAT ABS IN NO TIME!!! MAHOGANY IS SO VERY LAST SEASON, BE ONE OF THE IN CROWD AND GET YOURSELF A YEW BOW AT THIS BARGAIN PRICE!!!


AND FOR THE CRAZIEST ONE OF ALL ... *voice drops to a conspirital whisper* Gather in folks, you can tell your grandkids you were around to hear when this one went for sale *back to shouting* A MITHRIL HALBERD, ONLY 69,999 TRUE!!! THAT'S RIGHT, ONLY 69,999 TRUE FOR A MITHRIL WEAPON!!! SURE, IT MAY NOT BE YOUR WEAPON OF CHOICE BUT VERY HANDY AS A BACKUP!! FIGHTING A GOLEM?? A BALOR?? YOU CAN BE THE ONE ACTUALLY DOING DAMAGE AS YOU WATCH YOUR FRIENDS FLAIL AROUND HELPLESSLY!!!


... ACT NOW AND THAT'S NOT ALL! BE ONE OF THE FIRST DOZEN BUYERS AND ARKOLIO WILL THROW IN A FREE SET OF STEAK KNIVES [size=-3]// 6 x skinning knives //[/size] AT NO EXTRA COST!! THAT'S RIGHT, JUST BE ONE OF THE FIRST DOZEN TO SNAP UP ONE OF THESE BONKERS BARGAINS AND RECEIVE NOT ONLY YOUR LOW, LOW PRICED PURCHASED ITEM BUT ALSO A COMPLETELY FREE SET OF STEAK KNIVES!!

[Pseudonym]

*Another 'random' passerby*

What? Arkolio must be mad!! Only a fool would part with quality goods like this for such crazy low low prices!!

RIGHT YOU ARE SIR!! ARKOLIO HAS GONE COMPLETELY MAD ... YOU CAN BENEFIT FROM HIS INSANITY!!

RUSH IN NOW AND SECURE THESE ONCE IN AN ELVEN LIFETIME BARGAINS!! THAT'S RIGHT, LET THE INSANITY ROLL ON. NEVER AGAIN WILL OFFERS SO INSANE ROLL AROUND AGAIN. COME ONE, COME ALL, OPEN YOUR PURSE STRINGS AND EXPLOIT THIS POOR MAN'S MENTAL DEFICIENCIES!! THESE PRICES ARE SO LOW IT'S SCARY!!

*dramatic shiver*

[Slithy Tove]

Jako Stonehill raises his hand and says "I'll take the mithril katana for 69,999 true."

[Pseudonym]

*A slickly dressed man wearing a string tie comes up to Jako and ushers him into the hall*

YOU WON'T BE SORRY SIR. LET ME SAY, IF I MAY BE SO BOLD, THAT YOUR OBVIOUS HANDSOMENESS AND RUGGED MAGNETIC MASCULINITY IS MATCHED ONLY BY YOUR PEERLESS DISCERNING EYE FOR QUALITY MERCHANDISE!!

COME THIS WAY SIR. STEP RIGHT UP.

*Jako is led into the Trade and Market Hall, wherein he sees a scantily clad lady waving her hands in a caressing motion over the gleaming mithril weapon*

Do you come with the katana?

*forced giggle*

Oh you!


[size=-2]// Sorry for the forced dialogue! Just my homage to one of my favorite Simpsons episodes. I'll look for you or Sala ingame to complete the transaction.[/size]

[Pseudonym]

*Jako stumbles out of the hall sporting an expression somewhere between bemused and amused. Arkolio's hired spruiker glances around at the deals being done while he was inside, in response his voices rises in both volume and intensity*

DIAMONDS, NOT 10,000 TRUE, NOT 8,000 TRUE ... ONLY 5,000 TRUE!!!! YES, THAT'S CORRECT, ONLY 5,000 TRUE!!!! PLENTY IN STOCK, LIMITED ONLY BY YOUR NEED LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

ADAMANTIUM TOWER SHIELDS, NOT 20,000 TRUE, NOT 17,500 TRUE, JUST 12,000 TRUE!!!!

WE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD!!!!

[lonnarin]

*A Massive crazed blue orc in a loin cloth chants from outside the gates, showing off his new shield*

ARKOLIO RULES! ARKOLIO RULES! GWAAHAHAHAHAH!!!

[lonnarin]

Thank you for your fine business!  I shall be certain to recommend your services far and wide in my journeys!

-Farros Galdor

[stragen]

*A roiling seaman with brightly coloured silks and an eye patch hollers*

Ahoy bucko! Yer fetch ol' Jakey one of thar shields of adamantium and two of thar diamonds.

[Pseudonym]

AAAARRRGGHHHHHH, FER SURE M'MATEY. AVAST! YE BE A LUBBER IF YE HAD OF PASS'D BY ME STALL WIT' NARY A DOUBLOON SPENT! I BE CLIMBIN' T'ME CROW'S NEST AND KEEP A SHARP AYE FER YE OL' BUCKO BILGERAT!

[size=-2] // This would have been a longer post but I have completely exhausted my disappointing repertoire of pirate-speak.[/size]

[darkstorme]

//Psst .. Carillon and I thought you might enjoy ...

An Education for the Piratically Challenged

[Pseudonym]

// Harrr!

[Pseudonym]

Diamonds, every day of the week, still only 5,000 true!! Limit 100 per customer!!

[Krell Himmler]

Two diamond rings for intellect. What will be the price for two of them together?

Signed
Brother Fenris