... A very beaten, battered and limping Freldo walks over to the corner ...
*in a smallish voice*
Fine patrons, I'm in no condition to tell tall tales tonight. I've seen what no youngin' has seen, now I'll have to spend a few days trying to forget what I saw and my humor has left me for now.
A cheer arises from a corner
Aye, I suppose it's to be expected that some delight themselves in another's pain. Know that I have been to the place where even our great heroes are timid to adventure to and I escaped with a trinket and some gold but no proof of my travel except my word and, maybe, the word of the others I... foolishly... followed.
Take heed you other novice adventurers of the sphere of Layonara, there are dangers out there... Many dangers, some from small folk, fragile in body but powerful in magic, beings made of the stuff of the earth and fire and... even though I did not see it with my own two eyes, I felt the earth shake and heard the cries of a wyrm.
Yes, I must retire to reflect on the greatness of today's events. No tall tales will be told tonight, put that axe down master dwarf, there'll be no need for that tonight.
*starts to move away but pauses*
For your knowledge and for my gratefulness, I must thank the masters Ael and Cole, Abigail and Yossarian, Yard and Rane, Jil and Daren, Lokri and Gunter and all the others that I might have forgotten. When your names go down into legends, I'll be able to tell your stories with some knowledge for I have seen your abilities.
For having the dangers of the world pounded, very forcefully, in my head, I thank you all and I apologize for not being of greater service and for not being of much humor but, maybe, I might be of some use in the very distant future.
*starts to moves away again but pauses one last time*
I don't mean to be so glum so I'll tell you one tiny tale...
... Rustling as some patrons all take out their tomato slings ...
How many bards does it take to light a candle?
You mean you'd trust a bard with your candle?
... a lone tomato flies but Freldo's out the door ...
