For Posterity (Journal of a Bard)

[laurabunny]

The Journal of Brielle Shepherd, Bard

It is a month since I left home, and I've not yet become either famous or rich! I'm tempted to give up and return to the farm... but I feel that would be unacceptably selfish.  I cannot deprive the world of my talent simply because it has not been recognised as quickly as it should.  In fact, surely the longer the world must wait, the more it must have need of my gift? A point to ponder, perhaps.  I will fill a hole in the soul of the common person that they don't yet know they are suffering with.

For the moment, however, I am reduced to risking my life in the course of minor adventures.  Why, just days ago I was nearly killed by a vicious creature in the sewers below the city.  It was terrifying! Flashing red eyes and dripping fangs - oh, alright, no one else will ever read this: it was a rat.  Yes, I was mauled by a rat.  I had to flee the sewers and return in the company of a brave knight... well, some guy, anyway... and... inspire him with my magnificent singing whilst he beat back the monsters.  The rats.  Hardly the stuff of sagas.  All rats are good for is an entry in my journal.

[laurabunny]

[OOC: I'm writing back-entries for "significant" events, since I've neglected this.  Oops. >.

[laurabunny]

I spoke again with Mith, who really was waiting with blankets and cider, as it turned out.  I'm sorry I missed that.  In any case, we spoke at great length.  He's an elf, and actually sort of... charming, in an odd, elf-ish way.  I never met elves before leaving the farm, of course.  I never met anybody much, come to think of it.  This was something I realised while I was talking with Mith.  I never even met any of my grandparents! There were just the three of us on the farm, and my mother and father never really mentioned their families.  Then there were a few neighbours we knew, but we didn't see them much.  I've met so many new people in Hlint, and I'm learning so much! It's really very exciting.

[laurabunny]

Mith gave me a flower.  It's very beautiful, it glows.  I think I'll dry it - it's so pretty, and I want to keep it forever!

I was speaking with a woman named Rhynn earlier.  I mentioned Mith, and she got very angry.  She said that he had done something horrible... that he had sold her as a slave in the Underdark! I couldn't believe it.  I was very anxious until I found Mith and we talked about it.  It turns out that what Rhynn said was technically true, but he had to or they would all die, and anyway, she got away safely.  So Rhynn is just being unreasonable.  But Mith made me promise I wouldn't make trouble about it, so I won't.  But... I don't have to like her.

I also met another couple of very odd elves.  One of them was actually Drow! He was insane.  The other one is called Ozy.  He's a bard too... but he makes me feel awfully inconsequential.  He's very old, and very knowledgeable.  It seems like he knows everything.  And he licked my nose! That's why I say he's odd.  Oh, and... also, he has a forked tongue.  And he coughs up blood a lot.  Well, there's one other reason, too.  I asked the Drow if he had ever eaten a baby, and he said no.  But Ozy said that HE had! I'm not quite sure whether or not he means it.

[laurabunny]

I got a present from Mith! It's a lovely purple dress.  I feel like a real bard when I wear it! He also bought me some armour, a chain shirt.  I altered it a bit to look more... flattering... and I died it red.  I really like wearing red, it makes me feel strong and capable.  I think it's some sort of psychological effect of colour thing.  Oh, and Mith said that when I'd learned a bit more, he would give me a dragon-scale shield! I don't know what the point of that would be, but it sure sounds neat.

I've started trying to learn how to cook, so that I can cook for Mith.  I'm really not very good at it, though.  I guess I'm getting better, but it isn't easy.

[laurabunny]

Something very, very exciting and even more confusing has happened.  I told Mith that I liked him... and he said he liked me too! I guess we're kind of... well, together... now.  I don't know what else to say.

[laurabunny]

Something else confusing has happened.  I was chatting with a bard named Freldo... and I guess I was kind of flirting with him.  Then, out of nowhere, I heard Mith's voice.  I looked around, but I couldn't see him... until Freldo cast a spell on me.  Mith was Invisible.  I asked if he was spying on me, but he denied it.  We went away and talked a bit, and I said he must have been listening to my conversation with Freldo, but he said he wasn't.  So I told him I was flirting... and... well, the end of it all was that we've reverted to a state of "just friends." I don't know if it's the right thing to do... but I just don't think I'm ready to be tied down.  Especially to someone hundreds of years older than me! I mean, I'm seventeen... I'm old enough to be married, but there's so much else I want to do before I get stuck with one person.  I'm arguing with myself about it, because I still really like Mith.  But he said it was okay, and I think he's right, it is okay.  It will be okay.  I think.

[laurabunny]

I asked Ozy if he would teach me.  He said he would answer my questions, but he won't volunteer information.  And I have to be very careful about the questions I ask, he's very picky! He only answers exactly the question asked, and if it's not clear enough, he won't answer at all.  Oh, and he doesn't want me to call him Master.  That was a bit of a disappointment, but I guess I'll get over it.

I've been asking him questions about dragons.  I wanted to know, first, what's so special about dragon scales, and why they would be good for a shield.  He said that they're very strong and very light, so it's easier to cast spells when you're using a dragon-scale shield than a normal wooden or metal shield.  But even though different dragons are resistant to certain elemental forces, and to magic, those properties are something to do with the dragon itself, not its hide, so they aren't transfered to anything made of dragon scales.  He also said that nobody, not even dragons, knows everything about dragon magic.  It's very ancient and powerful.  I asked him, too, if he'd ever met a dragon.  He said he'd met lots.  Some of them he worked with, but most of them he killed.  I don't know quite how to feel about that.  On the one hand, they mostly sound like intensely cruel and evil beings.  On the other hand, they sound like such awe-inspiring, amazing, intriguing and most of all powerful creatures.  I suppose that's what makes them so dangerous.

[laurabunny]

A number of pages have apparently been torn from the book, as evidenced by the fragments of paper still clinging to the spine.  The pages on either side of the gap show a small amount of water damage, which might have been the result of rain or tears.  The contents of the entry immediately following this gap lead you to suspect the latter.

Curse him! I've never felt quite so... invisible! Well, if he doesn't want me, then I'm sure I don't want him either.  Not at all.  Not even a little bit.  I never want to speak to another paladin in my life! I hate them all, them and their devotion to people over persons... sure, the world matters, but I thought I mattered, too.

[laurabunny]

Life has certainly taken a turn for the better.  I spent the night with Remiel... well, he used to be a paladin, but no longer.  He has time for me, and he seems to care about me.  I'm very glad of that... I think I'm in love with him.  They say he's a skirt-pusher... I am forcing myself to accept that, whatever happens with him, its duration will be limited.  But I don't mind.  He makes me very happy, and I'll take whatever time I can get before he moves on.

[laurabunny]

I think I'm in love? I know I'm in love! My feelings for Remiel are unlike anything I've ever known.  I told him exactly how I felt... and he asked if I was sure.  Yes I'm sure! I wouldn't be telling you if I wasn't sure, you wool-brained man! I was a little worried for a while, though... but then he told me that he loved me too.  It's so amazing.  I don't know what else to say about it.  I'm just so incredibly happy.  I don't have the words to express my happiness.  I tried to sing it to Remi, but I'm not sure he understood.  Not everyone hears beyond the tune to the feelings of music.  Oh well - I'll keep trying until I know he understands! It won't be hard.  I can feel it bubbling up inside of me all the time.  It has to come out somehow, and the natural way seems to be through song.  Maybe I'll try to write lyrics about it.  The music will still be what carries the real meaning, but I know that words often help others to understand a melody.  We'll see if I'm up to the task.  If I can manage it... well, then I'll know I'm a real bard.

[laurabunny]

The strangest change is coming over me.  I'm starting to think that perhaps children aren't the smelly, sticky, disgusting creatures I know them to be.  And all because of Lotus... I miss her.  But no matter... it's better that she's gone.  Better for her.  In any case, I find that I actually want to have a child of my own.  Perhaps not now... I know I'm still young.  But I think that it's what I want.  I spoke to Remi about.  I was afraid it would drive him away... but fortunately not.  So now I continue to be happy... and I look forward to the future.