Author Topic: Ava Stauss--For Posterity (Read 1625 times)

pinkpowerbait · « **on:** February 26, 2009, 01:40:12 pm »

Well, I did it. My time at the Citadel came to an end and I was issued orders to report to Fort Llast. I left Huangjin with a heart full of hope and a renewed sense of excitement...comparable to the excitement I felt when Mom and Dad agreed to let me train in the first place. I am glad to serve wherever I am needed, but the irony of the location was a bit much for me to come to terms with emotionally--at first anyways. Alec has been gone for nine years, yet walking the same paths that he once did gives me strength to continue on, doing the things that he didn't have the time to complete himself. He would be so proud of me. I'm sure he never would have guessed that his baby sister would grow up to be a paladin of Toran!

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #1 on:** February 27, 2009, 11:07:13 am »

These are troubled lands indeed. Not only does it seem to constantly be raining on Mistone, but there is a rampant infestation of undead in several locations. On top of everything, there are rumors of an invasion spreading like wildfire through the lands. I was not expecting to be involved in a war so soon, but I'm afraid that it may be looming on the horizon. All we can do now is prepare and pray. There will be a meeting soon for all the faithful of Toran where this will be discussed at length.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #2 on:** February 27, 2009, 11:08:55 am »

The temple sent word upon my arrival to Daniella Stormhaven, and she has taken me under her wing so to speak. She has taken me on patrols and observed my fighting style--encouraging me every step of the way. She is a wonderful mentor and I look up to her. She is the kind of paladin I hope to one day become.

Daniella has two brothers in the service of The Great Leader: Samuel and Jacob. I have had the pleasure of meeting them both. They seem to be quite opposite in character, but loyal and faithful above all else.

Jacob, Daniella and I ventured into Storan's Crypt to cleanse it and gather Bodak teeth. What a vile, evil place. When Daniella was called back to the temple, Jacob and I were given the opportunity to become more acquainted with one another. He has a kind heart and a passion for healing. He gave me quite the stock of healing potions and I was so excited and grateful that I hugged him! Very forward of me, I know... but I don't think he minded so much. He did end up kissing my hand after all....

And I guess I might as well put it out there...I would be lying if I said that I didn't look forward to spending more time with him.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #3 on:** February 28, 2009, 04:45:31 pm »

A group of us gathered and ventured to the Hammerbound Peaks. The company was enjoyable for the most part. Daniella and Samuel were among our ranks, Ben too. I am still not sure what to think of that Ben fellow. The way he looks at me makes me feel quite uncomfortable at times. The only part of the trip that I would have changed--other than the couple of times I was beat within an inch of my life--would have been that blasted "singer for Xeen" or whatever he called himself. I did not care to remember his name. His presence was crude, and I must admit it annoyed me.

I have not crossed paths with Jacob yet since my return from the peaks. Perhaps soon....

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #4 on:** March 03, 2009, 02:44:06 pm »

I was tested, and I failed. Marl, the Healer at the Temple said I should be proud even though the outcome wasn't what he had hoped, but I still cant help but feel like I have let him, and ultimately Toran down. I should probably start at the beginning....

Samuel, Jacob, Daniella, and myself set out to the frozen lands up north. We ended up on the Black Ice Isle and after clearing out a tribe of Kobold we entered the cave. We had barely started down the path when we were stopped by a very evil undead creature. He had an evil aura around him and he mocked us in our faith. He told us to get back to the Temple and tell them what we found, then disappeared shortly after. He made no hostile actions towards us, just vanished. We decided that it was in our best interest to forgo any further investigation should he return and any or all of us fall. We made haste back to Ft Llast.

Before we'd made it back to the snowy docks something donned on me. The whole encounter in the cave seemed so staged and set up. Something did not settle well nor seem right about the whole thing. I let the group know my feelings and we again picked up pace to the Temple.

Marl was there when we returned. He said something right away that made Daniella question him and she outright asked if he had been alone. I connected that with my feelings of being set up and no sooner had I begun to feel for any evil in the holy place, Marl admitted that it was him who had placed the undead in the cave. It was a test to see how we would respond and what course of action we would take. Had we searched the area any more (which we did not, because there was absolutely no evil detected once the vile thing left and feared an ambush) we would have found a scroll rolled up on the ground with the words "return to the temple" found inside. It was a learning experience overall, and in spite of my disappointment I did learn a valuable lesson for future use. Investigate.

Before Marl had to return to his temple duties he consecrated mine and Samuel's amulets with the blessings of Toran. I felt stronger as soon as it was secured around my neck.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #5 on:** March 03, 2009, 04:18:47 pm »

Daniella had a talk with me. I can't say that I was surprised though. She caught me in the craft hall while I was cutting some gems and got straight to the point. She was worried about my attraction to Jacob. She is afraid that I am going to be distracted and lose focus of my purpose and my duties. I am confident that I can maintain the necessary balance--and I can only hope that she believes me when I tell her I would never do anything to let my duties and responsibilities be shirked. What was kind of comical about this conversation is that Jacob showed up during it and heard the last part of what was going on! He came to my side when she was done and I gave him a quick rundown of what she had said in reference to him. It was only fair after all---he had walked up on a conversation involving him. He did say something that caught me off guard... He told me that if Daniella gives me too much of a hard time about having a relationship while in service of Toran, to bring up Chaynce? Which reminds me.. I need to remember to ask him more about this later.

Jacob and I went to The Goblin Wastelands and met back up with Daniella and Samuel. Trax was there. He is getting better with his manners and I think he only called me "doll" once while we were in the caves. Samuel's reminders must be doing some good.

A strange female elf joined our company. Strange Indeed. She had odd beliefs in cosmology and "the universe" and followed no deity that she would admit to anyways. Daniella asked her three separate times whom she followed and did not get a response. That's when she got into the cosmos and such. I lost interest there and decided I would take no blessings from her. Not even fire for my blade. Jacob was with me, so I was grateful that he was able to provide.

We successfully retrieved the head of the leader and retreated to the campfire for some rest. Daniella had her own talk with Jacob. While her words are important and will be taken to heart, we are both consenting adults. He accompanied me to Fort Wayfare to make my delivery. I had patrols to finish and he had healing balms to make...Before we parted ways we made plans for a date (still yet to be determined) to get to know each other better. That day cannot come soon enough! He makes my heart flutter and I cherish the time we are together... even if most of it has been in battle thus far.

I must leave my writings for now. There are patrols to run and I need to check in with the temple to see if there are any new reports concerning the possible war.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #6 on:** March 10, 2009, 01:24:39 pm »

Time has been passing swiftly. There has been much work to do--many areas to be patrolled. The days were beginning to blur together for a while.

I have spend a great deal of time in the crypts in Vehl. I feel Toran's light so strong there as I call upon his might to turn the undead. The undead are no match for His Light. I cannot even begin to count how many have been put to rest--again--during my patrols there.

I have been gathering bones for Jacob. With the threat of war, healing is going to be in great demand. It seems he is in the Temple blessing vials of holy water to have a healing property more often than not. Our separate duties within the church keep us busy and I fear we have not shared company as often as I would like.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #7 on:** March 10, 2009, 01:39:54 pm »

I came upon Jacob and Marec during a patrol in Storan's so we joined forces to finish cleansing the place. We were in a hallway making necessary preparations when a Bodak came running towards us. For a moment, I thought I was done for. My life began flashing before my eyes as I narrowly escaped the grasp of instant death. Jacob did not have time to put a death ward around me fast enough. We regrouped after the Bodak fell and finished clearing the room before we made our way back towards Ft Llast.

Marec left quickly once we reached the road to Ft Llast and for the first time, Jacob and I found ourselves truly alone! Almost on cue, Daniella appeared on horseback and we were chaperoned once again. She only stayed for a moment though and we were left alone again.

Jacob and I, hand in hand, made our way to Hlint. We finally had our date!! We found a quiet table (well, as quiet as one might find in a tavern) at the Wild Surge Inn. We spent hours just talking with one another and learning the ins and outs of each others lives. I feel like I have known him forever. I feel so at ease with him and I can honestly and happily say that my heart is committed to him. The highlight of the evening was when he placed his hand over mine, stood up, and leaned over the table to give me a REAL kiss. None of that kiss on the cheek stuff. I felt like melting. But alas, all good things must come to an end. We had to part company yet again as duty called.

I cannot wait to see him again. I think I am in love---wait, I KNOW that I am.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #8 on:** May 16, 2009, 02:22:05 am »

Well, It has been quite some time since I last wrote. It never ceases to amaze me how busy the life of a servant of Toran is. There certainly is little down time. There is always service to give...roads to patrol...undead to lay to their eternal rest.

I should probably stick with the important things for now.. to get caught up.

For starters I still don't know what happened that day in Ft. Llast. I had just gotten into town. I stopped to adjust my pack and then "it" must have hit me. The next thing I know I am feeling a horrible anguish and I am in the temple... weak and laying at the foot of the bind stone. I stood up and was trying to make sense of what had happened when Marl approached me. I will try to relate our exchange to the best of my memory. He had some very wise words.

Marl: "A difficult day beloved of Toran?"
Ava: "I don't even know what happened."
Marl: "It is then a time of quiet reflection of questioning and of wisdom."
Ava: "I am ashamed of myself. I let my guard down and this is what happened."
Marl: "Come now..I am sure it is not so bad...Do not be so hard on yourself..we all have setbacks in life."
Ava: "It could have been worse. The Soul Mother took no piece of me."
Marl: "We are grateful of that always. It is how you chose to act now...that is important."
Ava: "I have learned a dear lesson this day Sir."
Marl: "Then it has been a day worthwhile has it not? For often the greatest learning come from the most difficult situations."
Ava: "That is wise advice, Sir. I just prefer my lessons to be not so... painful."
Marl: "You are the right hand of Toran...you must expect there to be sufferance at times."
Ava: "Indeed, Sir. I don't expect the path I have chosen to be a simple one. I would be foolish to think so."
Marl: "For is it not said by the Lord Himself that there is no brighter light, no stronger sword, no greater strength than the Light of Toran?...and as such it is a hard burden to bear."
Ava: "It is. I see much that leaves my heart heavy."
Marl: "To bring Righteousness to a land often in strife and evil is perhaps the hardest task...and you and others like you are that beacon--therefore you carry all our aspirations and hopes to those in this world who look to the light."
Ava: "It is quite daunting to say the least. I do my best, Sir."
Marl: "Daunting indeed...but..it must be done. And you my dear...are one of a select few.Chosen.....Beloved of Toran. Your burden is the greatest. You are young and have only really started your journey. It is now..the hardest times you may face as you struggle to understand the power bequeathed to you...the responsibility given you. Always remember...where you place lies, where you came from and those that support you. We stand with you child."
Ava: "I hold my place in His Light near and dear to my heart, Sir. I will not forget."
Marl: "May Toran bless you and keep you in the Light Beloved daughter."

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #9 on:** May 16, 2009, 02:44:28 am »

"Dearest Toran. You continually fill my life with your Light. Never does a second go by when I do not feel your presence within me. It surges through my veins--You, the Light and I, the beacon. You bless me beyond belief. You ease my troubled heart. You guide my path, you lead me straight. I am forever in your service. Thanks be to you. May your Light shine over me always."

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #10 on:** May 16, 2009, 03:06:55 am »

I have got to be the most Blessed woman alive! I am engaged! Jacob has proposed marriage! I want nothing more than to be his wife-his companion-his best friend. I feel so complete. Toran has surely had his hand in this. What a strong union we will have. Our faith completes us and creates a strong foundation that we cannot fall from.

Wedding plans are so exciting to think about. I tend to think the most about it when I lay awake in my bed at night--longing for my Jacob. I cannot lose focus while attending to my duties. Soon enough we will be together... never to part.

We live together in Stormhaven Manor (Daniella recently acquired said home for us to all invest in) near Blackford Castle. We share separate rooms for now because poor Samuel would have a fit if Jacob and I were to sleep in the same room while unmarried. That Samuel is something else. I get the feeling that he doesn't like me. Well I thought he did at first, but his attitude changed once he discovered the love between Jacob and I. He seems so cold towards me now... like he doesn't take me in my position seriously. His words are harsh and calculated. I would like to get him alone and have words with him. The last time we exchanged words was in front of a crowd of people. Daniella said to wait for another time, but honestly, I wish I wouldn't have stopped. It felt good to call him out. I was hurt deeply by him today. When he asked me to confirm the rumor of mine and Jacob's engagement, he was so displeased. I felt like he was second guessing my dedication to Toran. He actually said that mine and Jacob's hearts belonged to Toran "or so he thought". OR SO HE THOUGHT?!?! I get so upset even thinking about it again. My faith has not wavered. My dedication has not faltered. My duties have not been shirked--- NOR WILL THEY EVER BE. Just because I am going to wed does not mean that I will be any less faithful or capable or willing to serve the Lord. In all honesty (I can be honest here, this is my journal after all) I think Samuel is bitter and jealous. I think he hides behind that firm, cold, and focused exterior because he is lonely inside. He is a great leader. He is a strong, devoted and faithful servant, but really... he can have room in his heart for both. Perhaps he is afraid of getting hurt. Who knows though.... all I can do is speculate. I plan to talk to him soon. We are soon to be family and I preferably would like it to start out on a good note. There is no room in the family for tension.

Onto a happier note, I have my wedding dress. Well I have two dresses actually. I have the one I will be married in. Azi stopped by and gave her opinion when I was having some alterations made. She loved it.. I am sure Jacob will also. I cannot wait to see his face the first time he sees me wearing it. I also have another dress for the celebration afterward. Daniella passed it down to me and I cherish it. I feel so welcomed to the family by her. If only others (read: Samuel) felt the same way.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #11 on:** May 18, 2009, 02:17:49 pm »

I still haven't had a chance to sort things out with Samuel. I'm afraid that there is going to remain a heavy place in my heart until I do. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life as I prepare to wed, but I cannot help but feel a little tugging of sadness inside.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #12 on:** May 20, 2009, 04:07:17 am »

I had just finished a lengthy patrol and found myself standing in Vehl, wondering what do to next. Should I retire to the Temple? Should I return home to Stormhaven Manor? I opted for home. Wow, it really is nice to be able to say I have a "home". When I first left the Citadel I often wondered if I would ever truly call Mistone "home". It has happened and it feels wonderful. It provides a sense of security--a sense of completeness.

As tired as I was, I kept a rather quick pace. No sooner had I walked in the door and begun to catch my breath, Samuel walked in behind me. I froze for a moment. My heart sunk for a moment, and the feelings of hurt that were still so fresh from our confrontation outside Dalanthar intensified.

We exchanged our greetings. Samuel offered to leave and let me rest since I had just gotten home. As much as a bath and fresh robe sounded, it could wait. I told him that we needed to talk. He seemed a little caught off guard at first, but he agreed and we went into the kitchen and sat at the table. He pulled a chair out for me. Part of me, I am ashamed to admit, thought that he was going to pull it out and make me fall on my arse rather than slide it beneath me--but he was a gentleman and did no such thing. I guess I do not give him enough credit and let my personal feelings and thoughts of him get the best of me.

I spoke first. I expressed to him that I felt he did not like me. He insisted that he had never said such things, which is true—he didn’t—but his body language and the way he acted towards me did. Of course, he denied that as well and made me feel a bit stupid, like I was imagining the whole thing. He does treat me with respect—the respect a woman and a fellow comrade deserve—but it doesn’t feel sincere. It feels like a façade.

Anyway, we got onto the subject of my marrying Jacob. I flat out asked him why he was so displeased with our union. Was it me? Was it something I had said or done? Was I not good enough to be a Stormhaven? He says that his concern is that Jacob, like Daniella, spends too much time engaged with others when perhaps their time could be better spent on devotion. I tried to tell him that there was enough room in life for more than devotion alone. Toran wants us to be happy. Toran has brought us all together. I know Toran approves. Samuel asked how I knew this so certainly. I told him that I could feel it. Never in a thousand lifetimes would I have accepted Jacob’s proposal if I doubted for a second that Toran would be anything less than pleased. I feel his love and approval burning inside of me. I know when he is pleased, because were he not, he would withdrawal from me.

Samuel says that bonds such as these are weaknesses that can be exploited by those who seek to undermine the faith. I told him that they are only weaknesses if the parties involved are not firm in their faith. Then I dared to be so bold to ask him if this was why he had never taken companionship with a woman. Was he afraid that it would weaken him? He claims no, but I don’t believe him.

It must have been hours and hours that we sat there and talked. There were a couple times when I saw the cold look in his eyes soften, and then with the blink of an eye, it was gone. Daniella came home and joined us for a while. I think all that was accomplished during that time was some more arguing. We retired for a while, but what seemed like a short amount of time later, Samuel and I found ourselves sitting at the table talking again. I moved to a chair closer to him, so we could talk in hushed voices. It was late and I did not want to wake anyone else in the house who was trying to rest. We continued to disagree, er, discuss things. I think he spent more time trying to convince himself that there was no room for anything other than devotion in life, rather than convince me. *She chuckles*. As time passed, we grew tired and his guard dropped a little. We caught each other’s eye and held contact for several moments. He mumbled something about “there was one”... then as quickly as he softened his wall was back up. He said we could continue to talk when we both had clear minds.

I had to leave the house for a while and when I returned home I went to my room and sat at the foot of my bed to inspect and polish my armor. I thought I was home alone, but shortly after I began I heard someone call out. It was Samuel and he was standing outside my door. I announced my presence, and after asking if I was decent, he entered my room. He kept distance—lingering near the door. I set my armor aside and went and stood closer to him. I don’t know what was different about him this time. He countenance was soft. He didn’t have that cold look in his eye. The hard exterior was gone. There was emotion in his eyes. He opened up to me. He poured out a piece of his soul to me. He told me of a woman he fell for. He said he had no business wanting her, the daughter of a lesser noble, but he couldn’t help it. He loved her and it was not returned. His letters went unread. His looks were unnoticed. His flowers discarded to wither and die. He was hurt. His heart was crushed. I WAS RIGHT. I KNEW he had been hurt. I KNEW there was more to his attitude and devotion than simply fulfilling his duties to Toran. He is human after all. I could see the hurt in his eye and I tried to console him. I gently touched his cheek and let him know that I was there for him. My hand lingered for a moment as a bond between us formed. He told me to speak of his secret to no one... and made his way to the door. Before he left he turned around and stared at me. The look in his face was so full of emotion... more than I had ever before seen him show. Then he was gone.

I have accomplished the impossible. I have figured out Samuel Stormhaven. Needless to say, our differences have now been put aside and have been replaced with mutual respect and understanding.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #13 on:** May 21, 2009, 12:38:10 am »

For the first time since moving into Stormhaven Mannor, Jacob and I were alone. We gave into our desires for each other. That is all I am going to say for fear of taking away from the sacredness of those things that transpired between us.

*She smiles a satisfied smile and closes her journal*

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #14 on:** May 22, 2009, 09:36:51 am »

Why... Why... Why...

Why do I get myself into such predicaments!!!

//not related to the previous post.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #15 on:** May 24, 2009, 11:51:36 pm »

I have returned to the temple. I needed some time away from Stormhaven Manor. I need to clear my head. I need to think. I need to pray. I need...

*her writing stops abruptly*

"Dearest Toran. Please grant me the strength I stand in need of. Continue to bless me although I feel I am not deserving. Bring peace to my troubled soul. Fill me with your light, Great Leader and guide me the direction I am needed to go. Bless me, Forgive me."

*her voice trails off*

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #16 on:** May 26, 2009, 04:58:46 am »

I finally got the nerve to talk to Jacob. He met me at the house. He was a little nervous when I told him that we needed to talk... for good reason. I was a wreck. I couldn't stop sobbing. I confessed to cheating on him with Raz. He didn't get angry like I'd imagined. He said that Raz had a silver tongue and that he was not one of his favorite people right now. Jacob was a bit concerned about whether I liked kissing Raz and if I wanted to do it again. I assured him that I loved him and that it was a mistake. I don't know what came over me... It just happened.

Jacob reassured me his love was forever and his forgiveness full. I am so lucky and blessed to have him for my husband--well soon to be husband. He is a wonderful man. I don't know what I would do without him. I am grateful for his companionship... it is going to be useful in the days ahead. I have contacted the church headquarters to initiate the process necessary to make ammends. I know I cannot be receiving the full blessings of Toran with my sins hanging over my head, so I am prepared to do whatever necessary to fall back into grace with Toran and continue to be His chosen.

I have one last confession for Jacob... I am just not quite sure how to go about telling him that I am carrying his child.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #17 on:** June 05, 2009, 11:32:01 am »

It seems that I have been neglecting the act of putting my thoughts on paper lately. So much has been going on. So much has been racing through my mind. If I had the time, I highly doubt that I would have even known where to start.

Jacob took me home to meet his family. They are a wonderful, loving, generous and caring family. I am glad I get to be a part of such a dedicated family unit. I was a bit nervous, but the second I walked through the door all of that left and I felt very at ease. We also went by to see my family. Jacob loved them, or so I hope. Everyone seemed to hit it off very well. My brothers liked him (a huge relief to me). Both families have given their blessing on our union. It makes quite the difference having their support.

I also received a special visitor when I was patrolling the road outside of Hlint. It was Isabelle Stridewidth. She is a paladin from the Citadel that has been assigned to me to help me on my path back to The Light. She and I had a talk about my youth and inexperience being part of the problem I've been having keeping my vows to the church and Toran. She understands, as she has been there before...although I did not pry for any details. She is stationed in Huangjin and has made herself available to me anytime I need her. Her first request for me was to make an honest woman of myself and be married.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #18 on:** June 05, 2009, 11:34:20 am »

Jacob knows of the baby. I loved the silly grin on his face when I told him... once the shock wore off. He was so overcome with joy. He touched my stomach with such tenderness and love. He is going to be a wonderful father.

pinkpowerbait · « **Reply #19 on:** June 05, 2009, 02:10:03 pm »

I am a married woman! Jacob and I returned to Huangjin to inquire about getting married. Ortheus, after some counseling, asked us if we wished to get married right then! It was a good thing I had packed my dress, just in case. Also, it was a good thing that Daniella happened to be in the area on business and she was able to witness our union.

The ceremony and vows were beautiful. Our only regret is that more of our friends and family couldn't be there to share it with us. Given the situation and my present condition, it was better that we were married sooner rather than later.

Hopefully we will be able to have a gathering soon... to celebrate the blessed occasion with those we love.