Beilidel Awakenings

[Lilswanwillow]

I am almost happy here.  It has been a few months.
I am alone here, noone to depend on me for my fists, my support.  It must be better that way, and noone dies because of something I did.

There have been a great many people here.  I have met them.  Some are like the clerics in the sanctuary I come from.  Others are nice, and treat me with the respect I give them.

There are a few things I should note in passing.  There was a large Demon in the town of Hlint once that brought me and two other women to a inn somewhere.  It was a fun night, he wanted to know how to impress his woman.  I told him to go destroy a town, but that was in jest.  She came back to him, so there was no harm in  saying something so... outrageous around here.

Some others brought me to a long trip to the isle called Dragon.  It was a strange place.  Never did see a dragon

Then, I was travelling the mountains with a large giant like man, and we found a trail of blood.  He wanted to eat goblins, and there were goblin entrails everywhere.  We followed until we found a large group of adventurers, deep in a cavern trying to be rid of these large stone tablets that made them... crazy.  I swear my god sent them! I could not push them over, and sat on the floor and laughed at them while they tried to push them over.  It was quite humourous to watch.  People started attacking eachother, and general mayhem ensued.  I am traveling with them, to watch what other antics happen.  We are now stuck at a rock wall, trying to figure out how to get THROUGH the rock.  It is so interesting watching people that are so angry at eachother do things like this.  We randomly kill things, and nature lovers.  I do not attack unless I am attacked myself though, so it is QUITE fun to watch them... be idiots.

[Lilswanwillow]

jhgoiht
we were stupid, stupid, stupid. open. gobbie speak.
but we got in, after days of sitting at the rock.  I even tried praying to you, you didn't answer though.  I know someday my prayers will come, although letting me almost die was NOT a good plan.  How can I use them to help you if you kill me?
oh well, I'm sure you have grand plans.  I hope to be included...

I am going off on a tangent, am I not?

Anyway, I was visiting a town named Krandor, when this thing exploded in my face.  People do not like listening to reason at all I have found, but I am tenatious, A man named Lorien walked up to us looking for some men named Jack Quicktoes and Alvin M'asty.  We were asked by this man to find them, but in a round about way.  We were to wait for this escort or some such, that never came.  So we ran to Rilara/Alinder/stupid human named place after a long long long time and me asking around while others sat around talking about other things.  Mayhaps they thought I was daft, but I know that asking questions instead of running into battle is the best answer to many questions.  Where an envoy would be is a good question.  The battle that we found is another.
Humans, Giants, and a wagon.  makes alot of sense, does it not? Except, people started saying that it was connected to something else, and that this painting that we found was some sort of ancinet artifact.  Dunno WHY they thought that, its a painting.  A painting tells you naught but the picture!  The others in the party believe that it is sent by an Imjam, some baron from the continent.  I guess its south of fort Himad, at least thats what some others say.  Humans, I can't believe how foolish and quick they are.  They should slow down, but it all leads to one thing

death

[Lilswanwillow]

I hate my life.  I hate you.  You have forced me to hate, to love hating, I want to dance in the firelight, but I hate it at the same time, knowing that someone... somewhere...
I save myself.  I have no friends, I am afraid of having someone close to myself.  Why? oh Why?  I would fail them.  Failure is the last thing that I can do.  I was taught to never fail, for failure is... the great loss.
I quietly visited your temple today. I hate it, so much death, but that is you, is it not?  I fear... friendship.  I could not kill someone for you, I know that you would ask it of me.  I am not allowed fear though, am I?
I am torn
torn
torn
I love the hunt, the puzzle, the kill.  I hate it, I hate to kill, but love the blood as it flows over my hands.  The blood of my enemies. The blood of the ones that failed.
I will not fail, but I will.  I fear to fail you, so I have failed you in my fear.
I am strong.  I will do anything to live, but to betray another?
torn

[Lilswanwillow]

Quiet

Alone.

I like the silence.  I like the aloneness of the world I have surrounded myself in.  I cannot hurt another in it.

I do meet many people still.  Dwarves are kin of evil, I swear though.  They talk like rocks in thier mouths, and they are RUDE

Maybe My goal is to destroy thier civilization?  Bring chaos to thier ordered lives.

[Lilswanwillow]

I sit here, in the griffon land, watching the skys, waiting for death.  They'll find me, and I will die, and I will come back.
Why do I do this to myself?

*there is now a large blood stain covering half the page, soaked through, and it is seen through most of the book*

I love.  I love, I love I love.
I hate myself for loving.  I should not have fallen in love, I have seperated myself from everyone, but I still fell in love.

Why did you make me love? It would be easier to die.  But you made me, didn't you?

The soul mother took a piece of me, from the griffons.  Such beauty, such death...  Thier claws can rend and tear flesh, as easily as anything.

I walk the dark halls, hear the screams of people, I heard the clerics chant in thier dark reccesses, and I weep.  I weep for I fell in love.  I would loose that love if he ever knew... I would loose him if he knew what I am, the death that I mean.

But this world is dead.  IT IS DIEING IT IS GOING TO DIE

I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love

I hate myself
I know he does NOT love me.

[Lilswanwillow]

*this page has been half ripped out*

I now sit in Hlint.  A place of many laws that do not make sense.

Why do they not make sense? people will attack and kill a 'demon' that asks for help, but help a drow that has not.  It should be all or naught.  I LIKE the fact that I befriended a demon. I LIKE the fact that people think that it was bad, and I LIKE the fact that I can spread discord throughout this town, within the law!

Good day, I have thank you letters to write, and I may have found a love.


I have been traveling with a group... portals, kings.. paintings abound.  I have been led all about a land called Alindor.  Poor place, kings living in their castles, peasants starving to death at their feet.  I hate.. they should... be punished for their crimes.  The crimes the commit against their own people.

So, I am contemplating on how to do this.  How to punish kings and queens, high in their castles that are barricaded against Milara. Milara has them trapped there, to be alive forever.  My god, you love Milara, do you not?  He has created worshippers for you... they live in undeath as long as they do not leave.  They are in their own prisons.  Once they leave, they are undead.  He is a smart man.

[Lilswanwillow]

fools.  They are fools.  portals, they say.  Portals.

I knew when he said that it wouldn't work that he was right. In that tower, surrounded by portals. Galen. He was, of course, right.  But I am so stubborn.  I know I am, and others were on my side, maybe I convinced them.  Maybe they thought I was right, and he was wrong... a mage? wrong about portals?

So I am taking the blame... blame? Maybe glory. I created a rift. I sent all of us to the abyss, to chaos, and created a rift in the planes. I talked them into it.  I succeeded.  I made things be destroyed.  Chaos ensued. They have even mostly forgiven me, since I was not the only one... I wasn't even the one that put it IN the pool of water portal.  What else would you call it?
The dragon-man Drogo did it. Fools I tell you.  But that place... was hell. It was a testing, trying time. I kept my secret, my secrets will not be found. I DID it.

but, next time... I will have to do something different.  No more portals within portals.  That was a bit too dangerous. A bit too close to breaking down.  Mist has called me for a moments of service, for helping us get out.  I do not know what to think of that. I suppose I am neutral on the whole issue.  They think that it was an accident.  As soon as the mage said it was bad, I knew... and I knew I had to push.  I KNEW I had to make something happen...

love? no... matter... love. love is.. hate.


//ooc for you that read it... I didn't really do it on purpose, but Beil is going to be saying to her god she did, sure as heck//

[Lilswanwillow]

my hands are washed of them.

some defended me, others betrayed me.

It matters not.  I was tired of their spell games.

[Lilswanwillow]

hes quite beautiful.   I think so, I do.

We sat and talked, days away.
It was.... interesting.  Very interesting.  Felt, good.

I met a shadowdancer also.  She gave her soul for this. Kinai  It may be interesting to find out more of this, she does hide awful well, and she fights just as well.

[Lilswanwillow]

No, he is ugly.

I owe him much gold. I need to find him, give him what I owe him, and wash my hands of the filth that he hides in.

He didn't and wouldn't take it. Says hes gonna kill all of us.  Write later... its Hilarious.  poor soul though.  Loved me

[Lilswanwillow]

he... love? love is nothing.  He hates.  Hating me is much better.  Foolish boy.  Turn the good against him, yes I think I can.   a boo hoo here, and its done.  But I think all information may be better used at a later date.

later dates... I just noticed, I write of a future now.  Been dreaming of my past, sitting at ponds, and I write of future.

Foolish HEROs.  They say to destroy law.  Save people, bring down kings.  Bah, as if people of Prantz need saving.  They love what they have.  Before they were 'saved' by the fools of the war with Blood, they had something.  Then chaos.  Grand CHAOS.  And now, its Prantz.  They call him.. they being heros, call him evil, tyrant.  But the people that live there are content, are they not? the laws may be hard... but...  They live.

Sometimes life is all that matters.

[Lilswanwillow]

*compared to the rest of her journal, this one seems sane...ish*

A nice day.  The clouds were dark and looming, trees were sitting in the background dieing.  A nice day. The giants were killed, the desert sun destroying anything green.  
A very nice day.

He keeps himself in shadows, of his own making.  I think it will be all right.  I don't think he is like the idiot of magic.  The idiot is going to.. suffer.  I cannot do what others want me to do.  That.. would be.. suicidal.  Although using roffies as they are called would be nice and interesting.

Unless I am here I am in my tomb
Now you must my diary find and riches yours then for
Dive into the drink of the strongest if you dare
Evoke fire in the dark beyond less undeath tough be toxic
Reach no under yonder obelisk and wait for the lich.

under Brech.  a lich named Mal..something lives there, and I guess I'm traveling to kill him.  Hes been living a tad bit too long, it seems.  I don't know what will happen when we get there. I will see.

I have so little guidance.  I see others, they are so dark and dreary.  I am so different, but then.. I have always been different.  I lived through the horrors.  I guess... if that matters.

I have turned into a buffoon at times.  Protecting the weak.  I am torn.  Pranzis.  That about sums it up.

I spend days and nights with him.  He.. is special.  Like the flowers that are dieing...

[Lilswanwillow]

Dwarves.

I still despise them.  They are scum.  Only two have so far shown me any respect.  Others are... They deserve death of the largest magnitude.  No, not death... a life of torture. Jacrum and Gothim.  Brothers.  The bane of existence. Spew their hate behind a shield that says Vorax.

The god of Dwarves.   Maybe him... *a dark line is drawn under Vorax*

enemy.

Hate those dwarves.  I do not know.. what to do... with the hate.  I killed.  After they left, I ran as fast as I could, and I killed.  Kobolds. Something to help the townsfolk, in my rage.

The fear was put into my heart.  Deepest of deepest. I wonder with every step I take what you would think.

Thinking... By a river, the other day.  He wrapped his arms around me.  He has darkness also, it follows him like a cloud.  He asked Kinnie to teach him the ways of the shadow.  I am not of the shadows.  I can be quiet, but to be like a shadow?  It is an awe inspiring feat.

I am not alone much anymore.  It is... fine.  Not like silence.

[Lilswanwillow]

I am almost happy here. It has been a few months.
I am alone here, noone to depend on me for my fists, my support. It must be better that way, and noone dies because of something I did.

This is wrong.

I am happy here: its been a few years.
I am with friends here, people depend on me for my fists, my support. People die because of my actions, or lack of.

Njord.  He follows Mist.  That may or may not matter in the future.  I can close my eyes, and just see his face.  He keeps it covered, I hate that. He must he says.  He hides, like me.  I just hide.. openly, he hides, by keeping himself covered.
I guess I just hide with the enemy.
We have.. gotten romantic.  We are renting a room together, from the angels.  What a name, two hellions living in the angels house.
Ironic, it is, yes.

[Lilswanwillow]

a short story... as told by ozy.
I cannot verify the truth, it IS by ozy, all in all good story though.. and something to learn by.


Veriffay, the Dark Prophet, Greatest of the First, Sire of Nephoverden, Arch-Magi of the First etcetera. Coraths Strongest. Unless you have a penchant for truly ancient knowledge then you probably wouldn't of heard of him. *Smiles* I do however and have on two occasions dealt with him.*Coughs softly into his hand* Around him he saw his town in flames, people being cut down or burned. He flead the town and collapsed outside its gates. When he awoke it was to the smell of smoke.Bandits had invaded and were in the process of killing everyone. *softly laughs* Service to him, not casual time. *hums* The destruction set him on the path of a wanderer and adventurer.

As time passed his visions became more and more clear and accurate, unavoidable. Yet also he was able to take glimpses into the future of events of horror or destruction especially ones concerning himself, To the point where any vision he would receive would always come to pass less it was interfered with. Whilst at the same time no action against him would be undetected.
Necromancy and divination are a deadly combination, to each site of massacre he would travel and gather from the pain, the suffering and the chaos. Not as a monster for power or darkness but to learn from it and to learn more of his strange condition. He learned he could levy horrible curses and prophecies upon people and still his power grew and as did his experimentation. After decades of work and study he had reached the peak of his art he felt and retired to a simpler life.
Marrying and raising a family he was approached by the young church of Corath seeking his wisdom and power and hoping to manipulate him. He joined their ranks interested in what they might teach him and to their horror he used them much as they intended to use him. Soon he was in control of it completely more so then any to date have managed bar one.

 Once again his power flourished as his influence continued to grow, yet boredom was all that he truly found. Power was not his goal only a side effect, knowledge was his desire and the petty mongering of his minions was boring. His wife perished and for a time he despaired and delved completely into his magic and art, completing the greatest of his works. The Harbinger Necrossis; the original and greatest book of Corath. Also his spell book and journal in which all his notes were contained and all his knowledge. Not to mention much of his life force.
 He left the temple one noon many years later and chanced to catch his image in a reflection. Whilst he saw an old man he came to realize he far exceeded the lifespan of any human. He cut his hand then called forth a small amount of positive energy and found he had healed from it and not been harmed by it. Still alive, but ageless and eternal he considered what more he could learn.
 For five long years he remained still in the temple until the Rofirenite, Lucindite, Toranite and Voraxite churches aligned to destroy the budding and growing threat.
The siege was short and bloody the Corathinites were spread into the wind and Viereffay only fought briefly, destroying all that came near him as though snuffing out candles absentmindedly. In truth he simply gathered his belongings and left killing any whom got in his way. From there he disappeared into the realms, to a place of peace where he could spend his remaining time honing his power and studying.

He watched in interest as many beings came to his place of retirement in those most ancient of times and forged their existences.

They would fight, for various reasons they warred and harnessed natural energies of the land to make use of ancient and great portals. One of which he himself had used. He cared little, their corpses and spirits all flowed to him into his growing necropolis. His service to Corath was not truly severed nor was he linked to the church any longer. Instead he had become something more and darker.

However the quarrels of those creatures, fiends or otherwise grew to annoy him and they had learned of his existence no less. They planned to lay siege to him, perhaps not all as one or all at once but still attack him, the ruler of his dominion. He had little interest in that coming to pass for perhaps he was stronger then them even with their portals and powers yet they could prove an interest or a threat still.
 Taking the Harbinger to the highest peak in his dominion, above his great mansion home he enacted a great ritual using much of his stored power and that of the land itself. He drew upon it, and cast one of the greatest spells to be unleashed in the history of all things. Darkness fell across all the lands far deeper then what we face now.
 Eternal, starless, moonless night fell upon that realm. Those within it were quickly consumed, their life forces draining away and their existence in its own way ending.
 They remained trapped in the darkness seeking a way to leave it and consume the light, for off the light they survived. Viereffay returned to his mansion and laughed gazing around him. He noticed some things that the portals had withstood the force of his spell and shone with power and light giving life and order to the darkness.The quarreling races had been separated by the darkness, and thrived in the light even if it was only a tainted mockery of light in some cases. They would push the edges of darkness still anyway.

This created a twilight on the edges of the light and darkness, akin to the necropolis Viereffay had created. They regained contact with each other, but with new masters an uneasy peace existed between them. Viereffay stood within the heart of it all, returning to his studies and his works. In recent times Viereffay was disturbed, he had lost the Harbinger or perhaps it had lost itself to its own journeys, books can be like that. Whilst his one surviving son wandered.

That son learned of the location of the Harbinger, or I should say more importantly how to get it. He devoted decades to recovering it and enslaved a powerful and knowledgeable being attuned to such things. It resulted in a short but bloody war between some adventurers as Nephaoverden, where Viereffay was disturbed from his residence.

Viereffay was, annoyed. His son was seeking something that no one but he or perhaps one like him should possibly meddle with. Furthermore it was not for knowledges sake but for power being sought and power great was contained. He sent away the adventurers with a flick of his wrist, and they searched for Nephaoverden. Yet Nephaoverden had hidden himself well and it was not until he began summoning the Harbinger that his realm was disturbed.

 A dark and ancient crypt to Corath, the ruins of once the origional temple he enacted the ritual to call forth the Harbinger and to unleash its powers as he wished. The adventurers fought but Nephaoverden rose a shield of magical energies and completed his spell. He laughed softly and clutched the Harbinger in his hands. Viereffay appeared with an amused look on his face waved his hand and Nephaoverden disappeared, Viereffay catching the book and tucking it into his robes.

With a sigh of annoyance Viereffay opened a rift and stepped within, the adventurers followed. Their minds tortured by the magics and many forgot the last few weeks of turmoil as to have ever happening. For Viereffay had slain his son, then stepped to a time before all the chaos had begun and then killed his son once more to insure it would never happen. The adventurers went their separate ways, most with a splitting headache, most without any recollection of the events having happened.

 *turns a page* And that is the last we heard of Viereffay, the greatest of the First. No doubt he will be pestered again someday.

 I was one of the adventurers. I was also one of the two able to retain their memory. I'm used to having my time line torn to shreds. It doesn't, effect me.
 His son was foolish enough. Others have been. *shrugs*

 *turns a page humming* Well we met him twice durring that disasterous adventure.
*at this point, others ask questions*

 " we?"

 The adventurers that pestered him in searching for Nephaoverden. *softly laughs then wipes his lips* I was in it for personal reasons, Nephaoverden was under control of Randharavanna. Not to mention the Harbinger is unquestionably the greatest artifact I've ever laid my eyes upon. *softly laughs* Only the Bloodwell surpassed it. Even if the Bloodwell surpassed it many times over.
*coughs* I should say Randharavanna was under control of Nephaoverden, somehow the old vampire had gotten control over my Shadow but considering it was Ranhdaravanna. I'm betting neph wasn't the one in charge.
 To plant the seads to summon the children, to find the components and to guard the entryways.

" seeds of?"

Light and Darkness. *softly laughs* It is a foolish concept of the Corathites to think Darkness holds some great power. I suppose it does but light holds just as much.

"And more"

Only by using both and harnessing the shadows and the twilight can true magic of power be unleashed. Alas Light holds no more power then darkness. Darkness is just more lucrative for the impatient and greedy. Impatience results in mistakes and stupidity, coupled with ignorance and inevitably death. Thus the legends that light is greater then darkness. Only its users unfortunately.

"Darkness always flees from light, just as shadows do."

The greater the light, the greater the shadow. *hums softly leaning over nearly touching the flames with his hands* Light can focus shadow, twilight, and darkness. Something Viereffay learned and I am thankful few have since. I also speak of literal light, try it sometime. *softly laughs* *coughs into his hands*
 Suffice to say Nephaoverden was a beast of darkness and fell victim to light unlike his father. Now he is no more, neither is his consort Serahalla. Whilst my dear counterpart remains. Which worries me greatly, I suppose Viereffay left him for me to deal with. *sighs*

 I suppose though, we can all be thankful that Corathites don't follow Viereffays path and instead stick to stupidity. Or we would all be doomed.

" darkness eventually fails, turns on itself."

 I've seen light fail far to many times to belive that anymore. *stretches* So does light lad.  I've seen light slaughter itself as many times as I've seen darkness.

" So i have been told."

 Rofiren, Toran and Vorax all fighting with each other once they beat Bloodstone into the dirt as the divine layer of things. But smaller scale you see it as well.

MmmMmm which is why. *stretches* Light is not greater then darkness, just darkness has stupider followers in general.

//for those of you wanting the story re-copied from last night, there it is, names left out...  I didn't edit it TOO bad//

[Lilswanwillow]

The dark beast...

It dies from healing, light.. goodness.

I have seen it many more times than once, and there are many more than one.

I must think on this.

[Lilswanwillow]

He stood in town, screaming for death.
I should have brought it to him, but.. hes hurt, broken.  I show weakness.  He showed more.  I walked away, free from him.

I rent a room now, I have many moons of rent paid forward.
Years even...  I have more thins to sell, maybe I can get more rent paid.. or save for a small house.. or something.

Thinking forward again.
Humans.. Dwarves.. I am sick of them.

[Lilswanwillow]

I am strangely.. uncaring.
People can be idiots.  I stand surrounded by them, all the Rofierinites, Toranites, and... they mostly trust me.  Not completely, I am sure some have suspicions. But, they trust.

Betrayal, possible.  But others are unwilling, unwanting to move on this.  I cannot do things alone, that would be foolish.  I would not risk my life for one that does not care, either.

I plop myself down on my couch, listening to Zergon in the other room, shuffling through is immense amount of chests, mumbling to himself.  He seems so self assured, he knows something.

Not that I know what HE knows, but I am sure... it is too bad hes a dark one.  

My god may be pleased, I kill.  I have perfected my killing.  I challenge myself often enough.  Time to get up from the comforts of this couch, mayhaps I'll go talk to Zergon some more...  He does seem lonely.

The blood of my enemies flows weakly.

[Lilswanwillow]

*Beil walks the dark halls,  quiet, her feet heavy.

She is touching her stomach, a slight smile on her lips.

She walks up to the altar and looks up into the darkness*

its two, I am sure.  One will be raised in these halls.  The other.. may he follow his father

I will bring them to you when the time is right, master Corath.  God of all.

*She then disappears into the night, slipping away as quietly as she came*