Lairillia - Better Off Dead?

[Nehetsrev]

Autumn Dark 25, 1430

The burning, stinging feeling of fresh wounds torn into the flesh of my back tells me I'm still alive, at least.  A condition preferable to being dead, I have always thought.  Now I'm starting to wonder about that though.  How could I have known that in serving Taevnil I'd be drug up here to the surface to be in the pressence of these...these inferior animals?  The cursed light of that blazing ball in the sky hurts my eyes even when it shines on my back.  Thankfully it's only up there about half the time.  Still, these scum up here seem to insist on lighting every corner of their dwellings, and torches and lanterns are not much better than the sun in the sky.  I suppose I may eventually get used to it, what a curse that will be!  Mistress Taevnil should have refused this mission and supplanted her mentor Sorena to stay in the Dark, but I suppose she still has much power to gain before that will be possible.

In the mean time, I'll bide my time with her, even up here in the light among these filthy vermin.  Perhaps if I work hard enough I can endear myself to Taevnil enough that she forgets who the master is and I can make her my slave one day, or at the least convince her to end my debt to her.  She hesitated frequently in punnishing me these last few days, but I don't think her resolve is growing week, rather that she wished to avoid drawing the attention of the vermin to ourselves.

I wish she wasn't so headstrong.  She's always getting into the fray during fights and a woman doesn't belong in the thick of things like that.  Still, I must admit she handles that whip very well.  Probably because of all her practice on my back.  Practice she gets more of each time she gets herself hurt because I can't protect her well enough when she charges into the fights like she does.  I'll just have to get better myself if I want to avoid the whip I guess.

As to the vermin, Taevnil and I both noticed their minds are already prepared for being turned into slaves.  It's their destiny.  So many are so willing to be helpful even to perfect strangers, it almost makes me sick, but it's something we can use to our advantage I think.  Maybe her mission here isn't such a waste after all...one day we might both take our own vermin slaves, or carve out a small empire here on the surface.  For now I'll just keep my mind set to staying alive long enough to have a future.  Still, he who plans ahead lives longest...

[Nehetsrev]

Winter Snow 12, 1430

Some time to meditate on things again I guess.  My Mistress Taevnil has me wondering whether she's really as powerful as Sorena must have thought she was to send her up here to the surface.  Her actions and mannerisms have been seeming to portray weakness in my view, but then it could just be she's being extra careful around these surface vermin.  Still...while we were in a private place and I readied myself for another whipping, she actually decided not to whip me for once.  It makes me wonder.  Maybe I've already found a soft spot in her and will be able to use it to begin to assume control myself...  I've planted some seeds, hopefully they'll grow without her notice.  In any case, she's decided that from now while we're on the surface we're to call eachother companions to help disguise ourselves better among these vermin.  She's even told me I can go hunting and such without her as often as I wish, but I'm sure that's just another one of her ways to entrap me.  Like her idea for me to begin voicing my thoughts.  Voice a thought, and get whipped for speaking out of turn, don't voice my thoughts and whpped for not follwing her command...but then again, she didn't whip me this last time, even though she had a nice new whip to try out if she'd wanted.  One she made me purchase for her even.  I'm sure I'll feel the sting of the new whip in time though, unless she really has begun to go soft.  If she is going soft, maybe it won't be long before I can persuade her into releasing me from my oath and I'll be free again.  These things take time though, and if she gets wind of my plans for that, it won't ever happen.

In other respects, I'm thankful we've arrived on the surface at this time of year.  It's currently a bit colder than the Dark usually is, I can even see my breath in the air most days.  That's a fact I'm thankful for since I have to wear all these clothes to disguise myself all the time now.  When warmer days come, the heat will almost make life unbearable.  The extra light that shines off the snow in places is hell on my eyes though.  Fortunately, since Mistress Taevnil decided she needs skeleton knuckles, I've been able to avoid the light most of the time gathering them for her in the crypts.  I've also gotten real good at fighting those undead too, but these shoddy copper weapons the surfacers sell in their shops really don't help much.  I'll have to see about acquiring something better for myself.  Maybe I can talk Mistress Taevnil into allowing me to collect some gold for that.  I can tell her I'd be able to protect her better with better equipment.

[Nehetsrev]

Winter Night 14, 1431

More time for reflection while Mistress Taevnil spends some time altering the appearance of her new armor.  I have to admit, her form, while a bit on the thin side, is shapely enough to be appealing.  Maybe as I gain control of this situation I'll take advantage of that...though it's unlikely.  Her goddess being a hater of men, as she seems herself to be.  One wonders how any new darkelves are born at all with the religious split of gender in our world...unions of convenience I imagine are all that perpetuate our kind.

But todays events are more intriguing to think about at the moment.  While traveling with my 'companion' gathering resources to gain her that nice new armor she's now working with, I walked over the top of a hill near Port Hempstead only to see, of all things, a dragon!  To be truthful, I was scared nearly out of my wits, but once I regained them I came up with a great idea...  Well, a good one at any rate.  Voicing to Mistress Taevnil that we could sell information about our discovery to gain the funds we needed, she quickly agreed and we set back to that city of vermin nearby.  It wasn't hard to find someone who was both willing to pay for the information and had the funds to do so.  So we quickly negotiated a deal and lead the man out to where the dragon had been.  It wasn't where we'd seen it when we returned there, but neither was it long before we saw it again.  The enormous beast had the color of aged-bronze, and struggled about obviously in pain, ill from what the man later said was some sort of poison.  It still managed to command itself enough to spray the Mistress and I with enough acidic breath to lay us low and even managed to fly away after that.  When we were able again, we tried to help the man track it further, because Mistress Taevnil was overly curious about the beast.  Not that I wasn't curious myself, I just didn't see the need to be getting ourselves killed for curiosity's sake.  In the end, the man gave Mistress Taevnil a total of 1000 True all told, which left us more than enough to purchase her new armor.

Boy, that new set of armor is really looking good on her now, and ought to make my job of protecting her a little easier too.  These thoughts aren't good, I need to remember I'm a slave by oath, not by other means.

[Nehetsrev]

Winter Deep 7, 1431

My toils for Mistress Taevnil continue.  I recently spent time in the company of that vulgar fellow from the Angel's guild, and his inferior female companion.  I used their aid to acquire for my Mistress enough goblin ears to earn a sizable bounty from that inept guardsman in the town nearby the goblin's cave.  Hopefully the reward money will please Mistress Taevnil.

After that, I journeyed back to the port city of Hempstead.  I wished to visit with the rats there, having the feeling from my previous time spent among them that if I worked at it hard enough I could dominate one to become my own servant of sorts.  The rats nearer the surface proved to be inferior, dying too easilly when I would urge them to fight their own...  So I went deeper into the sewers, to the very bottom where Mistress Taevnil and I had fought the thing the locals called a "Pipe-clogger", which turned out to be nothing more than a fishman that was stronger than the others.  There I at last found specimens with the potential to serve me.  When all the rest were dead, two of the biggest and strongest followed my will, so I set them against eachother to the death.  Only the strongest would do as my own servant.  One quickly killed the other with not even a scratch to mar it's hide, and I was impressed enough to give it the name "Stanainbiir", or "Plaguebringer" in the common tongue.

Of further note, my senses have awakened even more since beginning my time here in the surface world...I can feel forces in nature all around me, and even manipulate those forces to my will.  This magic I work is not anything like the arcane magic my elders once sought to drive into me, which always seemed dead and lifeless in a way.  No, this is something else, full of the power of life and the land itself.  If I can master it further, perhaps I will achieve on my own a magic comparable to that of the wizards.  Nature itself will be my servant, or perhaps I serve it... the way it feels it is hard to know for sure.  I need no spellbook, nor god to wield this power, I simply need to feel the spirit of the land and bend it to my will.

[Nehetsrev]

Winter Deep 17, 1431

Mistress Taevnil now knows of my servant and my new found control of the natural energies.  Perhaps I should have kept them hidden from her, but given that she would most assuredly have found them out eventually if I were to use them with any frequency and effectiveness, I decided the risk in telling her now was worth it.  As it turns out, it seems she is pleased with these new strengths of mine, and coming forward of my own accord likely helped influence that attitude.

On the other hand, I think she grows suspicious of my manipulations of her.  She seemed almost too ready to agree to freeing me before she sent me away to give herself time to think.  Either she is weaker in mind than I thought, or she acted so intentionally to try to draw me out and expose my plots.

As far as thoughts go, I have had some troubling ones about the two of us, and the rivalry between the genders in general.  In my upbringing, to the very core of our society, each sex thinks the other inferior.  But, with the evidence I have seen in Mistress Taevnil, perhaps it could be true that females are superior.  Her small size is deceptive, for one, I have watched her in battle and must admit the show of her raw physical strength outmatches my own, a trait fairly common among our kind.  Yet I suppose my view might be skewed, for lack of ability to wield the Weave as most males do.  I'll have to watch, and make further observation...  But if the superiority of females proves to bear out further, perhaps I should be satisfied to be bound to one even as a mere slave of my own oath.  If she gains power, will not my own status be higher as well, if not in title, at least in influence under her name?

At least now I have a servant of my own in Stanainbiir.  The filthy rat seemed to enjoy the scraps of meat from the white stag I fed it.  I have to say, the flesh of that beast did taste more wholesome than that of other deer I have eaten since arriving on the surface...almost as though one can taste a bit of natural power within it.  But it was such a shame to kill such a fine and strong animal.  I will have to avoid killing more such creatures if I encounter them.

[Nehetsrev]

Spring Dawning 22, 1431

It was too easy...  I manipulated Taevnil into freeing me of my oath to serve as her slave.  Still, we are both soft, because even though I am free to do as I choose now, I still find myself choosing to stay in her company and aid her here on the surface.  Taevnil has for whatever reason some allure for me, some intangible hold upon me that I cannot, or do not wish to break.  I may hate myself for being a fool some day in future times, but after I was freed of that first oath, I found myself offering another to her.  I swore just as solemnly that it would never be by my own hand that she dies.  I blame my time among these disgusting surface vermin for my moment of weakness, at least that is what I'm telling myself for the moment.

Truth be told, little is in the Dark for me to wish returning too, except perhaps to gain some sort of vengeance.  She says she still wishes to return one day with the power to remove Sorena, and gain vengeance upon her for sending her to the surface.  Perhaps I will aid Taevnil in that endeavor, though I have nothing really to gain from it myself so it doesn't make much sense for me to do so.

Aside from the momentous event of my new freedom, it seems that Taevnil and I have gotten ourselves involved with dragons, including quite possibly Fisterion.  These events all occured before she freed me of my oath, I should note.

After we lead that human some weeks ago to where we'd seen the sick dragon, reports and rumors began to abound of dragon attacks and other such devastation in the same area of Mistone.  So, it wasn't too surprising to me, given Taevnil's initial curiosity regarding the sick dragon in our first encounter, that I found mysel with her in the place known as Fort Wayfare joining a group of others who had an interest in finding the dragon and ending it's marauding rampage.

The group set out from Fort Wayfare, cutting through the Silkwood and across toward the settlement known as Haven, following rumors and a trail of debris on our way.  The guard of Haven were hustling and bustling about as though preparing for siege when we arrived there.  The trail turned back south toward the city of magical study known as Spellguard.

It was on the road south that we encountered forces that turned out to be sent by Fisterion.  Evidently they wished to capture the dragon and return it to their master, whom they said might be able to heal it of it's affliction.

From listening to the others talk Taevnil and I learned that the cause of the affliction was a poison, aparently one that exibited a sort of life of it's own, and was drawn to magic.  The source of the poison itself was said to be a group the others called the Green Dragon Cult, though some among the others voiced opinions that there was some other group or individual pulling the strings of that cult.  In any case, the dirtkin who repressented Fisterion said we'd best serve by finding and stopping the source of the poison.  Aparently there's some sort of temporary alliance between Fisterion and many of these surface vermin we had traveled with in search of the sick dragon.  While I don't relish the thought of dying again in the process, I do think this whole situation warrants further investigation.  An alliance with Fisterion could give the surfacers more power than I and the rest of my kin would like them to have, and bringing down such an alliance might gain me some status again...  but is it worth it to me?

[Nehetsrev]

Summer Run 2, 1436

Years have passed since the last time I saw her.  Five of them to be precise.  She's still lithe, slender, and beautiful in form.  And now she owes me some opportunities.

Meanwhile, some brainless fool recently up from the Deep has been running about without hiding his black hide from the eyes of the surface cattle.  It's caused enough trouble for me that I may slay the fool should I chance to encounter him myself.  The cattle are seeing my covered form and jumping straight to the conclusion that I must be what I am, and this is something that I'd prefer not happen.  I've continued the story that I am horribly disfigured beneath my garb, afflicted with a horrendous plague, and indeed with a bit of cleverness I've cooked up a disguise I now wear beneath my helm to correlate to my story.  Should some paranoid cow ask me again to remove my helm, I will still put up protest, of course.  Yet if they persist I will be able to remove it and they'll see me to be a wild elf afflicted with blood-oozing boils and cysts.  I still steer clear of towns and cities as much as I can, despite my coverings and disguise.  There's no need to risk attracting too much attention after all.

Perhaps one day I'll find out how it is those 'heroes' who're Darkelves like myself manage to walk about plain as day without anyone so much as questioning their identity.  It seems impossibly unlikely that everyone in the surface world knows these 'heroes' by sight.  They must carry totems, or special papers of some sort to show to the authorities wherever they travel.  Should that be the case, perhaps I can get a good enough look at them to fabricate my own.  I've learned the names of two such individuals, Alantha and Iridril, female and male respectively.  Maybe with some effort my lady Taevnil and I can pass ourselves off as these individuals ourselves, should I be able to find out how it is they make themselves recognizeable to the authorities.  In the mean time, at least I can access banking and other services in Fort Vehl without raising too much suspicion, so there's not really any need for me to seek access to other cities, save perhaps some of the ports should I wish to leave the continent of Mistone.  The idea of being cooped up on a ship with a superior number of potential foes who're likely to be paranoid and nosey doesn't sound very appealing to me though.

As to foes, I've found myself facing large numbers of kobolds and goblins lately, as well as bandits of various races.  I'm gradually learning their weaknesses and how best to fight them.  Soon perhaps my prowess against one of these varieties of foes will begin to match that I've been developing against Elves and the undead.  Time will tell.

[Nehetsrev]

Summer End 13, 1436

My disguise seems to be working quite excellently.  It's convinced at least the fellow Razeriem, who had been so quick to jump to conclusions before.  With his word now supporting my disguise and the story that goes with it, others also are quick to believe.  I need only keep up a token act now, and I may remain fairly secure.  One must keep their guard up, however, so I'll be vigilant.