Daniella Abigail Stormhaven- a journal

[Alatriel]

My baby brother is a father.  Which means I am an aunt.  They've named the child Alec after Ava's brother that died in service.  The child is so small... it seems perfect and healthy, but very small and helpless.  I found Ava in pain and screaming in labor... Jacob wasn't home.  On the battlefield I know what to do, I know how to fix the problem, take out the enemy... but not in this case.  I would rather face the world's greatest evil than have to go through what she went through.  And yet, afterwards she seemed so contented, so peaceful.  Exhausted, yes, but happy.  Jacob as well... they both seemed to want to sleep.  When Chaynce got home he seemed fairly easy about it.  Of course, he missed the labor.  But he had no problems in holding the baby or anything, and started talking about the children he and I could have together some day.  And he started talking about the wedding we were supposed to have.  The topic has been silent for so long I thought perhaps he didn't mind anymore.  I don't have time to plan a wedding.  Our life together is fine the way it is.  I know there was a time when I wanted nothing more than to have him as my husband, but I know there are many more things that are so much more important than a wedding.  Our relationship is good the way it is.  It would be better if he didn't fight against me as much as he does, but I do think he means well when he does.  It doesn't make sense, but perhaps to him it does.  We've never had any indication that we would have children in the past.  Perhaps my injuries from my battles have made it so that I can't even bear children.  I'm not as young as I used to be.  It's probably best that way.  A child would simply be in danger if it was my own.  What kind of mother would I be anyway?  I can't give up my calling to raise children...

But the hurt that I saw growing in Chaynce's eyes... He's never said he wanted children before.  His mother is half elf.  Can he even have children?

Oh, Great Leader, please lend me your wisdom to choose the right course of action.  I wish to do your work above all else.  But can I do that without hurting the ones I love?

[Alatriel]

Chaynce has taken to travelling a lot again, and I simply keep trying to do my job.  I finally received correspondence from Gilbert Gallant, only for him to once again attempt to belittle me and politely tell me to keep out of his business.  After learning of what some of those in his Gauntlet have done, though, there is simply something that does not feel right to me.  Once again he has told me to meet with one of his assistants.  This will not go away, and I will not accept false flattery and excuses of personal conflict or interests to keep me away and they can continue with things as they are.  Torture is not acceptable by any means, and if there is someone or something that is systematically hunting that order, be it Anne or anyone else, obviously their history has shown that they are incapable of dealing with it on their own, whether that Guantlet wants to believe so himself, there is only so far that pride goes before it is overtaken by arrogance.  I will meet with him face to face, and if he will not provide the time and place, I will find him.  One way or another.

[Alatriel]

I almost lost him.  He knows now that I can't marry him while I am in the service of Toran.  And as I lay here next to him and listen to the soft sounds of him sleeping beside me, I only know more that Toran answered my prayers.  I asked Him to let him stay, and somehow He guided him back to me, almost as soon as I asked Him.  I am overwhelmed.  

I know that Chaynce is still angry at Toran, but I hope that in time he'll realize that it was Toran that brought us together.  And it was Toran that kept us from being torn apart.  I was shaken, but He never left me.  Chaynce was angry at him, and yet, Toran understood his anger, and kept him here with me.  



Toran, thank you for seeing to our needs.  I will continue to do Your work as long as I am able, and as long as you see fit to have me as Your Chosen.  Thank you for reminding me so that I will try not to harbor such selfishness again, and that hiding the truth is sometimes as bad or worse than a lie.  I know that You see to all that I need.  I am ever grateful.

[Alatriel]

It's amazing... I feel alive again.  I didn't realize there had been something wrong or missing... but I feel that Toran has renewed in me something that I had lost when I lost Anne.  A piece of me that was missing.  Like I had forgotten who I was.  I am a servant of Toran, but I am still me.  And Toran has seen to my wants and my needs, and I feel all the more ready and willing to do His will.

And for the first time in a long time... I'm at peace.

And I am ready and willing to stand and fight with my brothers and sisters on the battlefield to answer the call of the Heart of Toran.  The battle is coming.  We will prevail.

[Alatriel]

Razeriem is jealous of me.  Why?  Because a Corathite monk came and attacked me with an intent to kill me with the element of suprise.  Why would someone be jealous of this?  Because of who sent the monk.  I recognized the fighting style.  The same weapons, the same lightning fast techniques... Anne sent him.  I don't think Razeriem quite understands.  I think he thinks that she sent her minion out as if she was sending a bouquet of flowers or something.  Anne doesn't work that way.  Yes, it was a message.  But it was a message to me, and it was a message to herself.  He's angry because he feels forgotten.  Well, it's probably better for him if he is forgotten.  For now at least it means he is safe and alive and well.  I know he wants me to tell him where Anne is, but the fact is, I don't know that the Shining Hand doesn't already have people keeping tabs on him, and if he were to go straight off to her, he could easily lead them all right to her as well.  And with their past actions, I'm not ready for them to have the first go at her.  Not until I speak with Gallant and figure out exactly what his intents are.  So far, I am so displeased with the actions of some of the members of his Guantlet, I want him to stand in front of me and explain them to my face.  And yet, he is a coward, and he will not face me.  He sends his student, Isabelle around to do his work constantly, and I already know what it is that she's done.  She should have stayed with her decision to leave the Order of the Shining Hand and remain with the Order of the Longsword.  The decisions there are hard, but they are not the decisions of a Beacon.  But that is why they are called Beacons.  Because they are to be the Shining Light of Toran in the darkest places of this world.  Because they are supposed to make the hard decisions, but they are supposed to make the RIGHT decisions.  And the decisions that each person makes, and those of their students, proteges, and underlings will weigh on those that have ordered the actions.  I know that when Quantum Windward was still the interim Hand of the Shining Hand, Gallant had a desire to unseat him, and failing that, to discredit him, and put himself in that place.  Thankfully that never happened.  But I grew up being taught that Quantum was corrupt.  When I finally met him in person.  Spoke with him... I knew then that the teachings I'd had for so long were false.  It was then that my suspcions grew about the Gallant Gauntlet.  When Dubois came along and continuously tried to avert me from doing what I knew in my soul was right, trying to take me off of missions, and putting my own father in danger to keep me away.... and then the evil I could sense from Dubois... and now I know that even though his end was not just... it was at least an end to the corruption in the ranks of the church of the one I love more than anything.

Now, Isabelle... I don't even know if she has it in her to make the correct decisions.  First her passes at my father, a MARRIED and supposed-to-be retired paladin, who yes, has a shining record within our church, but still... he is married.  Her judgement was impaired in that, but then with her confessing her involvement in the torture of a man who was suspected of being in league with Corath... and never confirmed.  They burned that man's house with him inside.  Those are not the actions of one who knows how to fight in the name of the Hand of Virtue.  There was nothing of virtue in those decisions.  I worry for her, and I hope that it is not too late for her.  The decisions she has to make now, and will make in the future could cost her her very soul should she make the wrong ones.

I watched for years the decisions that Anne was faced to make in her position.  The decisions between saving one life or saving many.  The simple good, or the greater good.  For so many years those decisions weighed on her, but she always took the higher path.  Then, as I got older, they took more and more of a toll on her.  Other things that she left unsaid.  The fact that she was alone so much.  I understand being alone.  Until recently I felt very alone, with only Toran to rely on.  But Anne was misunderstood by so many people.  She confided in me once, about what happened to her to lose her knighthood, for her relationship with an Aeridinite.  What the actual relation was, I'm not sure.  But I wonder sometimes by the way that she spoke of it, if she has a child... now an adult, out there somewhere...  Anne was hard in her training.  Relentless.  But at least during my time before my own commission, she was always kind, especially in private when it was alright to let her guard down.  

I understand that all the more now as well.  The weight of Toran is not an easy burden to bear, but it is one that I bear willingly, and am honored to do so.  At one time, I think she felt the same.  There are so many that don't understand Toran's ways.  Some feel that we simply wish to go to war for the sake of war.  Some think that our insistance on our code, our values, our honor, and our virtue and resilience to evil makes us stuffy, or that we look down on others, as if they were lesser than us.  I know this is how some people think, but I also know that what we who follow the Hand of Virtue do in His name is not something that everyone will ever understand.  If they did, we would not have to be in a constant state of warfare with evil itself.  Countries go to war with other countries, and groups bent on their own agendas.  Guilds battle each other for business.  It's not that way in the service to the All Watching.  Every single day is a struggle to do what is right.  Yes, we all have bad days.  But it's how we deal with them.  Never to fall to anger and hatred.  Never to sit idly by while someone is being harmed.  Those that have gone before me in this path I hold in the highest respect because I know that it is something that is never simple.  It will always be complicated.  Who to save?  The young child who stands before you, or the thousands that will be killed if the one lives.  Is it right to let that one die to save the thousands?  No.  And each loss such as that will haunt me till the end of my days.  But when weighed against the odds it is the GREATER good of all that matters.  It is up to the individuals of this world to step up and save the individual good.  The daily activities, the goodness of every minute.  I can only live and lead by example.  And even with Toran on my side, I am still only one person.

The monk came upon Razeriem and me when we were talking in the Goblin Wastelands, not too far from the caves.  The evil in that area, she would have known, would have cloaked my senses from an oncoming attacker with intent to harm.  She planned this.  I was injured quickly as I was not prepared for battle, and I turned to fight my attacker anyways.  But as soon as the element of surprise was lost, he ran off.  I controlled my bleeding and healed myself, and prepared, and then sought him out with all of Toran's blessings on my side.  I found him.  And I killed him.  But even though I could feel the evil flowing within him, he didn't fight back as he did when he attacked me.  Some may have said that I should have only subdued him, brought him in for justice by the authorities.  But the Rofireinites would be too slow, and with the way that monk moved, he would have easily killed more people just with his bare hands.  No, for the greater good, he was slain, and I feel no remorse over the loss of one such as that.  That's what I do.

Razeriem doesn't understand.  When I was younger, when I trained with Anne, she would set tests for me.  Things that she thought that I could handle, but were just outside of my abilities.  In those days, she would be nearby to step in if things got out of my control.  To turn the shade, or to step in and make the final blow that I was not yet strong enough to do myself.  It was a test for me, to know my strengths and weaknesses, and it was her way of knowing what I was ready for.  But she was always nearby.

One of Anne's greatest strengths was knowing when the battle was won, and when it was time to withdraw, regroup, and try again.  And in those tests she set to me, it was that if I failed that day, she would try again after I'd recovered, and trained more, and prayed for the strength that I did not have yet, but would need to accomplish my task.  And she would heal me, support me, and never coddle me or let me back down.  She never let me give up.  Why should I let her give up now?  To turn to the darkness that lets her stop having to struggle with the difficult decisions?  To turn to chaos and evil is the easy way out.  My heart hurts, not only because of her decision to leave us, but because in the foul decision of the Beacon of the Shining Hand, and the others that tried her without defense that day, she gave up.  And for that, I have such deep disappointment in her that it makes my very soul ache.

 But the attack tells me something else.  She must have been close.  Anne was watching nearby.  I don't know where, but she was there.  That's why only one.  That's why he didn't fight back.  She stepped in and delivered the final blow.  She controlled the situation.  Just as she always did.  She is still testing me, even from her fallen status.  She wants something from me.  She still feels after all this that she is training me, even from the clutches of Corath?  Fine.  Let her send her tests my way.  When she is ready to face me, I will have a test for her.  If she passes, she can come back with me, for her pennance, her forgiveness, and her restoration in Toran's Light.  

If she fails, then let Toran's Holy Wrath teach her her final lesson.

[Alatriel]

Toran grant me the strength and wisdom I need to knock some sense into the child of my Brother in Faith.  Argos is falling down the same path of his father.  The same path that I myself was once tempted.  Though when I shared the wisdom passed down to me with him, he did not hear a word.  That child is the most selfish, self centered, arrogant.... I will not burden your ears with the expletives needed to express my feelings of that boy right now, Great Leader.  Please guide my heart.

And as for his father... Please enlighten your paladin, Lance, to your will.  Be it by your gentle whisper, or by your forceful hand.  He needs it.

[Alatriel]

It seems that I have entered yet another phase of life and service.  After the battle of Hurix, I saw that sometimes you have to make people work together by sheer force of leadership and example.  Though it is hard to ever make Lucindites and others like them see that there is a greater good, and that there are people that deserve to be protected, not just that precious Al'noth of theirs... we were able to see it through to the end.  In my search for patience, I see that I am continually tested in that area.  Sometimes, there are only so many and certain kinds of people that are available, and yet the task still must be accomplished.  Though I admit my heart soared when I saw the banners of Toran and Vorax on the horizon.  

I recently had to revisit the foes of the Green Dragon Cult though.  An old man near Hlint had said that his cart had been stolen by Dragonstealers.  The guard there wasn't taking him seriously, but every report should always be taken seriously, especially when given the nature of the report.  No one should ever be turned away when asking for assistance.  The guard felt shamed afterwards, and I impressed upon him the importance of taking his job seriously.  Hlint sent out a patrol of six to ensure the safety of the man's family, and I rode out to Ft. Llast to gather a force to go after those that he had described as members of the Cult.  When we got there, we were able to capture a few.  Some inexperienced adventurers had thought to go after them themselves, and one of them was killed.  I have thanked Toran every day that we were able to get there before more people were killed.  We brought five back with us for questioning.  Two tried to escape, but I have seen what those of the cult are capable of.  I am not willing to take the chance of their escape, or that they would kill one of my men or women in service.  They were killed.  We still have three and they are undergoing questioning.  

Toran willing, we will see some answers, and we will see an end to this war.

[Alatriel]

Something has happened to me.  For a while now I seem to be feeling the need to keep my temper at bay, to keep back the anger at the injustices that are done all around me.  It makes my blood boil, and yet, I keep it below the surface... mostly.  Before I felt as if I really was just letting off steam in little spurts to keep the pressure down.  But recently, when fighting I feel as if Toran Himself has sent his own anger at evil down to blend with my own.  It gives me more strength and drive in battle, even when I am feeling exhausted, I feel like I can only see one end, one goal, and that is to smite the enemy and rid the world of the servants of evil as Toran has chosen me to do.  I used to try to keep it at bay, but once I experienced how it feels to embrace it... I feel as if that rage is constantly there, just under the surface.  

I got in an argument with Lance again.  It's been years since we've argued like that.  Perhaps it was simply over due.  I hate fighting with him, but I worry that he takes his position for granted.  He states that Toran has not withdrawn his blessings from him, so therefore the things that he does must not be wrong in His eyes.  But perhaps Toran has simply been lenient with him because he loves his paladins so.  I worry for him.  I do not want to see him fall.  His woman, Iellwen, has left him.  I never liked her much.  She never showed respect for my beliefs, nor Lance's.  Marl told Lance years and years ago that Iellwen would prove to be Lance's greatest test of faith.  I do believe that to be true.  But that test is not to make exceptions to the way Toran feels towards people.  It is not to choose to believe that Toran is wrong in his judgement to serve our own needs.  It is not our place to question Him in any capacity.  He has His reasons for the way He feels towards other gods.  I know that there are good people that follow gods that Toran is not friendly with.  However, the aspects in those peoples' lives that do not mesh are significant.  If an Aragenite sees that the world around him is falling into chaos and innocent lives are being taken, and he or she chooses to simply write down the information in a book rather than to take up a stand and help someone, are they any less guilty for being a bystander?  If a man stands by and watches another man rape a woman, and does nothing to help her, is he not as guilty as the man performing the act?  In this world, we can not afford to be bystanders.  In our faith, in our line of duty, we cannot simply choose to be passive.  Lance's argument to me is that his path is not mine, and that I must make those decisions that he cannot.  While that may be true, I refuse to let him get off that easily.  I have great respect for that man, my brother in arms and faith, and I see great things in store for him on the path that Toran sets out for him.  I'm not setting that path for him.  That's not my place.  But he is fighting his path.  He has lost respect for what it means to be a paladin.  He calls himself a knight.  Any man or woman can be a knight.  They don't need the backing of a god to be such.  It takes great strength of character and the backing of Toran, the All Watching, the Hand of Virtue....to be a paladin.  And that is an honor that I hate seeing him lose respect and confidence for.  To have the grace and blessings of Toran is the greatest honor I have ever had in my life.  I hope Lance never loses sight of that.  I worry for him.

Toran, give me the strength and courage to have patience with my brother, and please help him realize the honor it is to serve You as You have chosen for us to serve.

[Alatriel]

I met with Master Michaelis again.  It's been years since the last time I've spoken with him like that.  His gaze was intense.  I worry for him.  He mentioned a few times, when Lance was there as well, that I was the future of the church, that both of us were.  I cannot fathom a church without Michaelis, but he's gotten old, and despite him saying that he's fine, he looks tired.  Lance and I spoke to him about the current events, the recent battles, and the efforts and advances since then.  He's asked that Lance and I be involved in the rebuilding effort, and I have told him that I have already, but will continue to do so.  Which reminds me.  I have a letter or four to write...

[Alatriel]

Chaynce has returned home again, this time intent on building a chicken coop for a new halfling... I suppose friend? that he has found... though sometimes I think he treats him more like a pet.  Other than this young halfling's poor choice in gods, even if it is fairly typical for a halfling... Chaynce seems happier than I've seen him in a long time.  And having the halfling around almost feels like a strange reminder to me that Chaynce and I have never had children.  It's something that I've always thought of as a blessing before, somehow that my inability to conceive children with Chaynce has kept it from interfering in my work.  But since he had mentioned his wish for children when Alec was born, it got me to thinking.  I've told him that I would consider adoption, or at least that we can look into it.  I still worry for the dangers that I would be bringing a child into if I were to take one as my own.  It's something that Chaynce and I will have to consider.  On the risks... and whether or not they outweigh the benefits.


He has gone off again with Alton, and in his absence, Clarissa has returned.  Even though I've heard stories of her, we'd never met before now.  There is an odd sort of... relief? in spending time with her.  Things that I have felt and said before that have been disregarded, or argued against, somehow she understands.  Up until now no one other than Michaelis has understood those feelings.  I feel even more sure of my gut feeling now.  

I think the time to act may be soon.  

With the war against the dragonstealers still underway and the current war, I'm reluctant to do anything that would harm our chances of victory against this cult.  However, sometimes I wonder if my inaction may be more dangerous than the action.

It's something to consider.

Toran give me the wisdom to know the right thing to do.  And give me the strength and courage to act upon Your will as you place the feelings in my heart.

[Alatriel]

I had a lead... I followed it.  I pursued it.  I am pursuing it.  It's risky, I know that.  But some risks must be taken in order to get what you need... right?


Toran please let me have a few days without nightmares.


please.

[Alatriel]

The same thing, in variations.  Almost every night.

I see her standing in her blackened armor, a whip now where her flaming sword once was.  The sword that would battle against the creations I fear she is now creating and controlling.  I see her taking the girl back with them, and I hear the girl's screams echoing against the stone floor and walls.

And I see a look of madness in her eyes.  A look of one controlled.  As if she isn't doing this of her own accord.  Eyes that scream out for help.  And then flash again with the madness of the evil and hatred.  

She never speaks to me.  And yet it's as if she sends messages directly to my heart.  

The horrible things she has done I don't even want to imagine, and yet can she possible in some twisted way still believe she is doing any good at all?

And in my dream there is always an ending.  The ending is not always the same, but in the end there is always one thing that remains constant.  I kill her.  Each time.  The evil overcomes her and I fail.  I fail, and I have to watch her blood spill as I run my sword through her.

But this time was worse.

I killed her again.  But I laid her down gently and she looked into my eyes and whispered almost as if in death, "I did this for you."

After I have killed her so many times in my dreams, what I hope not to have to do...  will I have the strength to do my duty if I should fail in bringing her back?

Toran please give me strength and courage.  Please let your light shine through me and even into the darkest of places, and hearts of your people.  Please let that light magnify in her heart, and remind her of who she once was, who she once loved.

[Alatriel]

Well, it is done... or started in any case.  Clarissa and I spoke with the Heart of Toran.  We told him mostly everything and our concerns, and he now knows of our concerns of the disease that may be within the faith of our ranks.  


Some short time after that, Lance, Chaynce, Iellwen and I were attacked by powerful undead and a summoned evil creature in the silkwood forest.  

Toran, I know that none of us are safe from the temptations of evil and corruption.  But because it amongst our own, I feel as if I can trust no one but You.  I don't like suspecting evil at every turn.  And please... please don't let the Heart be part of this.  Please let him still be pure and faithful to You.

[Alatriel]

*the paper is smudged with what looks like a dark brown color, as if dried blood was rubbed across the page accidentally as she wrote.  The handwriting is a bit shakey*


My own home isn't safe.  Anne's assassins have found me there.  I normally check as I enter, but my guard was down because I was in a hurry, and I paid for it.

Toran help me, I feel like I can trust no one.  I find myself seeking evil in the hearts of even my friends.  I close my eyes and I see things both real and imaginary.  I know that my body is exhausted, but my heart is tired from the things I know I must do still ahead of me.

I've sent two guards to my home to warn those that live with me of the possible danger to them as well, and I've asked two more to stand with me as I rest here at the temple.  I hope their presence will help me relax.  

My own home was breached.  My own faith may be breached.  I trust only in You, Toran.  You are the One that has never faltered.  Please help me to live up to Your standards.  Strengthen me, heart, body and soul, against what it is that You wish for me to do for You.

[Alatriel]

After a little rest I've thought about it.  There is no way Chaynce and I can adopt a child.  It's too dangerous.  I'd always feared it would be, but now I know.  If I'd had a child yesterday...  Why would I bring an innocent into that when they have no say?  No, it is best that I have no children.  I know Chaynce will be disappointed.  I hope he'll understand.

[Alatriel]

I feel bad that Jillian has had to learn this lesson so early.  But then, perhaps even though I've known this for a long time, maybe I am only now really truly understanding it.  Evil is everywhere, anywhere, and any time.  We can never truly let our guard down, because that is what evil waits for.  We must remain steadfast as the All Watching Himself.  We must be always prepared and be ready at all times to defend ourselves or others.  We do this so that others can live their lives without having to fear the evils that we face.  So that they can live peacefully, and feel safer because we are out here doing what we do.  

I simply continue to hope that those people we protect will in turn, if it is within their power to do so, help to protect those weaker than themselves, and do the right thing.  If we start by example, maybe, just maybe the effects will trickle down.  That people will learn from example that evil does not pay, and that kind acts do help the greater good of us all.  

But then I see the effects of what evil can do.  So much terror, destruction and chaos in such a small amount of time, with wide spread results...  And I know that I have to fight just that much harder to combat it.  I know that my job will not be finished until I have fought my final battle and I am with Toran in the afterlife.  

Toran, be with the people.  Guide their hearts with Your light, so that they may learn to protect each other, to guard against the little evils that we battle each day.  So that they will not regard these small problems with indifference, but instead raise up to fight against them.  To stop injustices by being aware, and taking an active stance against evil in all forms.  To raise up those weaker than themselves, and empower them with the knowledge that they too can fight for what is right and good in this world, even if it is simply to help someone that has dropped their packages on the way home from the market.  

And please, help me to not lose faith in the people.  Show me that they do still care about what is good in this world, and what I try so hard to work for, in Your name.

[Alatriel]

I walked in my home tonight after a long journey, and what did I step in as soon as I crossed the threshold?  Chicken... poo.  Either Chaynce is going to have to train his halfling better, or discipline him... or... I don't know!  I feed Alton, (Chaynce thinks I don't know, but my pies disappear a lot faster now that he's here) I offered him shelter in spite of our differences of faith, and I've tolerated Chaynce and Alton starting their own small chicken farm in the back yard with Alton staying back there.  And how does he repay me?  By dumping feces inside my front door!  It took me an hour to clean up that mess.  I went back to the yard to see if he was there but I couldn't find him anywhere.  Probably hiding.  It's fine.  I'll tell Chaynce to deal with it.  That was much worse than Chaynce dumping rocks in Lance's bed.  And so unsanitary...

[Alatriel]

It's amazing how much can happen in what seems so short a time.  It seems that I haven't even written in here.  Jillian has been accepted into the Order of the Shining Hand.  I'm so proud of her I can't even describe.  And yet there is a feeling of nostalgia.  I remember a time when I was not much younger than her when I myself had thought I would enter the Order.  And  yet, it seems that Toran has a place for all of us, a path, and a mission.  I look to my past and I see the Beacon Anne Ravenwind:  My teacher, mentor, guide, and friend.  I see her lost and confused now and in need of either a path back to the All Watching or if necessary, a way to end her service to Corath in a more final way.  I need to accept that as a very real possibility.  She may never come back.

But then I look to the future in the Beacon Jillian Stuart.  My student, hope, protege... and what seems to be mind reader at times as she states things that I myself am about to say, and yet, she comes through with them even before the sound crosses my lips.  She has learned her lessons well, but there is a lightness to her that I don't know that I ever really had.  At times perhaps she is slightly inappropriate, but maybe that's simply a generational thing.  Perhaps I really am getting older.  But as I look forward into my fourties, I don't feel old.  I feel Toran with me, and I believe that in Jillian I am able to see where I once could have been, and while that service would have been glorious in Toran's name, I know that the path He has chosen for me is no less important, no less special.  For not one of us can live the life or mission or can walk the path of another in service of Virtue.

[Alatriel]

After speaking with the Auscultare, Daniella walks down the steps into the Atrium to find her companions waiting for her.  The color is drained from her face, and she appears deeply troubled and shakey.

"Miss Daniella.. are you ok?"  Beacon Jillian Stuart asks.

"Are you ill?" Protector Daniel Poetr inquires.

Daniell nods slowly.  "Yes, Jillian.  No, Daniel."

Ortheus watches Daniella pass by him, a grave look on his face.

Richard Watchman questions her, "Champion Stormhaven, are things in position to be resolved?"

Daniella nods.  "Yes, Richard.  As you heard decreed, it will be done, and is right."

"Splendid," Richard remarks.

Jillian and Daniel both wait patiently to hear of what the Auscultare said to Daniella in their private conversation.

Daniella looks at Daniel for a moment as if searching for something within him.  Daniel frowns slightly for a moment, then asks.  "There is to be no trial or hearing for Anne?"

Daniella closes her eyes and nods slowly.  "There has been a trial.  She is guilty.  She will be dealt with."

Daniel continues, "So you will play the part of her jailer or executioner?"

"It is not necessary, Daniel," Daniella replies.  "It has been decreed, and it will be done."

Daniel regards her gravely, "That is no answer.  Vengeance is the antithesis of true justice.  Are you Anne's executioner or do you wish to bring her to the light, Lady Daniella?"

"She has chosen her path.  I have no further role in her fate," Daniella says simply, with finality.

"Again you evade me."  Daniel begins to look irritated.  "Tell me this, then.  This Decree:  it is a sentence is it not?"

Daniella looks very grave and deeply troubled as she endures the Rofireinites questions.  "Yes, Daniel.  The decree is a sentence.  Her trial has already taken place.  She chose corruption and evil over the Light of Toran.  I have no further defense for her."

Daniel narrows his lips.  "I do not hold to intents, but to actions.  I will support you as my own tenets allow, Lady Daniella, but no further."

"She has committed crimes against your own laws, Daniel," Daniella says quietly.   "I'm certain that even you would judge her accordingly to her actions, Protector."

Overhearing the Rofireinite raising his voice to Daniella, Ortheus approaches.  "Daniel is it?"

Daniel nods to Ortheus.  "Yes sir."

Ortheus says sternly, "You would do well to lower your voice Sir..your ways are not our ways."

Still a bit shakey, Daniella shakes her head, "No... it's alright, sir.  It will be resolved."

"A point I wished to remind the good Lady Daniella of, nothing more, Sir," Daniel states to Ortheus.  "I am finished, but watchful."

Ortheus glances at Daniella and then relaxes a touch and nods.  "Anything you need, Lady."  He withdraws after giving Daniel a warning glance.

Daniella glances gratefully at Ortheus and then turns back to the others.

"I apologize if I sound overly harsh, Lady Daniella," Daniel offers.  "That was not my intent.  I have pledged my strength to yours for this task.  I honor my pledges."

"I know Daniel.  Please believe me when I say that the decree is the correct action.  The sentence is just and apt."


The wizard speaks, "Friends have differances of views.  It is encouraged.  Its through outside observation that we often find the most important details of ourselves."

"I thank you all for coming and supporting me here today." Daniella says softly. "You are free to stay or go as you please.  May Toran's light and guidance be with us all."

"We did no more than bear testiment to the event, Champion Stormhaven," Richard says kindly.

Daniel smiles at Richard.  "Quite.  Now friends, I believe we have some traveling to do."

The group makes their farewells to each other, promising to meet in a few days time near the outskirts of the Silkwood forest to investigate yet another infestation of unnaturally large spiders, and all depart except for Daniella, who returns to the altar set still and quiet in the chapel.

Daniella stands for a moment before the altar, then falls to her knees, sinking all the way to the floor and laying her head on the stones, arms straight out before her with palms facing upward.  Soft sounds of prayers can be heard whispered as she stays that way for some time, asking for guidance from the one she holds in the highest regard above all else.

Finally, Daniella pushes herself back up and sits on her heels and looks once again at the Golden Ankh before her.  She takes a deep breath, then bows her head once more in reverence.

"Your Will be done."

[Alatriel]

Daniella kneels alone in the chapel in Ft Llast, meditating quietly, her facial expression is deeply troubled, and she looks tired as if from lack of good sleep.

As the rain falls, the knight clad in blue and gold enters the place, he removes his cloak, cleans off his boots, and respectfully walks and kneels beside her, to say a small prayer.

Daniella looks up from her own thoughts, her eyes searching his, and then embraces him tightly.

Lance is taken off guard, but returns the hug, obviously knowing that she would not do that unless it was really needed.  After some moments he start to gently pat her back, comforting, and whispers.  "What is it Miss. ? What happened?"

After a moment she releases him and looks at him again.

"Lance, brother...  Toran be with you." she says very quietly.  "May Toran always be with you."
He smiles a bit as that.  "And with you Miss, has has been all this years to see us succeed on our tests.
Is ... everything alright?"  he asks with calm expresion and a serene smile.

She bows her head, but does not say anything to the affirmative or contrary.

He looks at her with a concerned look , but gives her some moments.

"I have been given a task, brother."

Lance nods.  "It is a blessing to serve, Miss ,  that is why you were summoned?"

"I cannot speak of what it is, but I must tell you that it's completion has a resounding affect on the foundations of our faith," she speaks just above a whisper.

He arches an eyebrow.  "To the point that is a secret to everyone in the church?  That bad? "

" I have sworn an oath, brother.  I will not break it."

"I know that," he says.  " And that is why it troubles to see you as that.  I am just measuring the magnitude of it," he whispers incredulously to himself.

"What is not secret, I can tell you, is that Anne Ravenwind has been decreed by myself and by the Auscultare to be an enemy of the church.  She will be apprehended, and she will be dealt with.  She has been judged and the judgment will stand."  She seems at peace with the decision and speaks with finality and authority.

Lance nods in understanding.  His eyes look at her with some concern as she understands in a way the feelings of a woman.  "So the day has come."

Daniella looks at him.  "I will play no further role in Anne's fate, it will be dealt with and done as is right."

Lance looks at her with a serene expression.  "As His will commands.   I wonder though.  And I worry about the nature of this mission, when Anne is mentioned . I know you can't tell me, but does not help to make me wonder."

"Anne is no longer my concern," Daniella says quietly.  She stands quietly and walks over to the altar, touching the ankh there gently and lovingly with reverence.   "I need your aid, Lance."

Lance nods.  "What do you require of me, Daniella?  You know you have my blade, but even more important you have my spirit, heart and determination."

"I need you to make sure that everything you say, everything you do is an example to all who follow you, is an example of Toran's will above all else.  This I ask from all of us at this time.  She does not speak with accusation, merely with a quiet and reserved weight of importance on her request.

He blinks.  "Miss. I live my faith with passion. I do what my faith dictates. I don't see how that is different to the things i do.  But i understand the request you are asking me."

She nods slowly, still looking at the ankh.  "I know, brother.  Toran's ways are not always easy to follow, not even for his own followers.  Life events corrupt people, they lose their way."

He nods.  "And its by his power and caring hand that we are able to save those who we could, and slay those who pose a threat," he adds with a gentle tone at the end of her sentence.  "When do you have to ... depart for this mission ?

She looks back at him.  "I am not departing."

"So you are already on this mission ?"

Daniella nods.

He twists his mouth as if not making sense , but then nods.  "So. Back to Anne...  Are some actions being done , or are we exercising a passive search?"

Daniella looks at him, as if waiting for a moment.  "The Shining Hand, I believe, has been organized, and is launching an assault.  They will deal with her threat.  Gilbert Gallant now has as an advisor, Revered Knight DeLourney, and I have faith that together, they will accomplish what needs to be done with finality."

"The Shining hand directly?" he looks at her in surprise.

"The Shining Hand is here to serve the Will of Toran, Lance.  They are doing His bidding."

"I know that, but these threats usually fall in the Order of Longsword area of expertise.  I am not doubting the skill of my brothers.  It just seems out of the ordinary.  My prayers goes to them and their success at any rate."  He frowns a bit in concern.

"I have faith that if they require aid of the Longsword, they will ask for it.  The Shining Hand is specialized.  They know what they are doing."

"I know.  I know.  I heard that Isabelle Stridewith was summoned as well."

She nods.   "Yes."

"Is she helping the Gauntlet on this again? Or has she been promoted to another wing of the church?"

"She has been demoted effective immediately, and she has been apprehended for questioning."  She speaks plainly and without emotion on the situation.

Lance blinks.  "What?"

Daniella looks at him, but does not repeat her words.

"Questioning? Did she comited blasphemy?  Oh my..."  He shakes his head in disbelief.

"She has not been convicted, Lance.  She is being questioned, and if necessary, she will be tried," Daniella clarifies.

"As its only fair..."  Lance nods.  "That girl needs guidance."

Daniella nods.   "Sometimes we all need guidance, but it's our choices in the end what matter.  No one can make those choices for her."

"Indeed," he agrees.  "Its easier to blame the gods for our own actions, but it all resides in us.  And its in us where the responsibility lays."

She takes a deep breath and looks at the floor, her head bowed once more.  Lance looks at her with concern and walks over to put his hand on her shoulder, to which Daniella lays her own hand on his without a word, seemingly grateful for the small amount of comfort and friendliness.  "Daniella, you'll do it great , you are blessed by his hand , and if He called you is cause you are the right one to do it.   I know there is no doubt in your resolution.  You would never allow that to happen.  Yet... words have power.
And listening to them is never a bad thing.  I don't know the weight of the burden you are carry , but not being able to share it, must be consuming.  Just do what you need to do . Its the divine will and there is nothing we can do but to follow it."

He smiles at her.  "All will be brighter at the end of the day."

Daniella takes another deep breath and looks him in the eyes, her expression resolved.   "I have given my word, and pledged my Service to the Hand of Virtue in all things.  What he has asked of me is no different.  As I have pledged, I am His.  I simply ask for your support in this endeavor.  I do not know how it will play out."


Lance smiles at her playfully, mostly to ease the tension.  "I am not trying to pick an argument Daniella.  Not this time..."
She smiles gratefully and hugs him again, tightly.  "Thank you, brother."

He returns the hug and whispers.  "Still if you need someone a bit less godly to speak, you know how to reach me.  Or there is Chaynce as well..."

She pulls away and frowns.   "I'm not certain Chaynce will be of much help here, Lance, though it pains me to say it."

He nods.   "I understand perfectly what you say.  Well Then there is Jillian."

"Jillian makes me proud daily."  She nods in agreement

He blinks as if realizing something.  "Is she going with the Shining Hand to deal with Anne?"  He averts his eyes for a moment in thought before looking at Daniella again.  "She's a great woman, a great knight, and a great example."

"I don't know," Daniella replies honestly.  "The summons was for those members and Beacons of the Shining Hand not otherwise engaged.  Jillian has pledged her service to me in this task, and though she does not know what it is, she has given her oath of support and service, and I believe she will most likely stay near me."

Lance arches an eyebrow but nods.  "So she gave her word of honor?"
"If you speak with honor at all times, whatever you say is your word of honor and an oath in truth," Daniella says quietly.

Lance smirks bitterly.  "That is what I thought as well."  He waves his hand dismissively.   "Anyway.   I am glad you think that way.  I whole heartedly support those words... and actions."

She nods and looks away from him to stare once more at the altar, taking a few deep breaths.

Lance also turns behind her to look at the altar.  "Well... I am sure I know of this sooner than I could imagine."  He smiles.  "Will you stay here?"

Daniella absently fingers her own amulet with it's ankh at the center.  "I will stay or go as I am bid."

"Well, yes," he says.  "You can do both. the question is. . will you stay here?

She looks back at him again questioningly.

"I mean aren't you heading back home? Or what are your plans?"

Daniella smiles slightly, her eyes still pained.  "I will do what I have always done, brother.  Yes, I will return home, and then I am certain I'll leave it again just as I have all this time.  I will go where I am bid, and I will do what is my job to do."

"Only to return again Miss."

She nods.  "Yes.  Only to return again."

"Don't let the good feeling of a duty well done, erase the good feeling to have a place to return." He smiles with a mixture of feelings.  "A place to call home and people to call family."  He frowns a bit, but shrugs it off.  I am asking because I am heading towards Leringard.  I have a wagon waiting outside.  I would like to travel in company, even if it is not farther than Blackford Castle."


Daniella smiles, as if relieved by such a simple request.  "I would be honored to accompany you to your home, brother, if that is what you ask of me."

Lance shakes his head.  "You make it sound so official. Is that how I sound?"  He grins at her.

She smiles somewhat sheepishly, then lowers her eyes and nods once.  "I will go with you, if you want me to."

"I am offering you a ride home.  Better than traveling alone, no?"  He smiles and offer his arm.  "So shall we?"

She takes his arm with a small smile and pats it with her other hand.  "Thank you for the ride, then, Brother."