Elohanna Dawnstar - The Journey Continues

[Anamnesis]

Vows

In our most dire of hours we walk a path that seems so alone in our
lives. A veil covers our eyes keeping us from seeing what is true and pure.
The veil keeps us from seeing that love was meant to be.
The veil keep us from understanding that pure love is understood within
the heart without question.

True love does not need to be told to us, it does not need words to
describe how it should be. True love knows within our hearts when it is
true, without question, it just simply is.

Today before our friends my love, I speak my vow to you for all to
witness and understand how deeply our love is.

My vow to you as deeply as the one you have made to me. I promise with
all my heart to love you beyond the moment that existence ceases to be.

My vow to love you unendingly and unconditional. To be patient and
understanding always. To love you even more in those moments where we
disagree because without our own distinct presence and opinions we would not
be who we love so dearly.

I vow that from now until the time ceases to comfort and hold you not
only when we are at our worst but to treasure those moments no less than
if you were at your best.

You are my best, you are my soul and my heart Krysthalien Dawnstar, and
I love you body, heart, mind and soul.

Today before our friends I promise to love you forever and always. You
are my reason for living and without you to complete us. I would be
lost. You have found me. You have saved me and I promise my heart to
always remain true to you.

Will you Marry Me Krysthalien? Will you forever and always lose yourself with me, My Dawnstar?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Krys to Elly

**written in Elven in an artistic flowing cursive*

Bright Eye, 2 Autumn Dark 1418

My Beloved Ely-

Writing this to you as I sit on the benches overlooking Lor harbor. Should stop here more often as the view is wonderful.

Just got back from Belinara - a successful expedition with Clarissa, Rose, Omer, and Nye in which we accomplished several things. We struck at the base of a clan of lawless woodsmen; fought some air genasi and elementals who threaten passage through some hills near an important fort there; and explored another cave we recently found in another woods knows as the Kuhl Forest. Afterwards we rested at a vast stronghold known as Hilm Castle. We would have continued onward, but Nye and Omer had to depart.

Give Auhry my love and tell him I will be home soon. His coming into our lives was a true blessing, unexpected as it was. I will never forget finding our little elven lad hiding, shivering cold amongst the crates of our storage shed outside the house there at 118 Llast. It just feels so good and so right to have given him a loving home - even more so that he has come to call us his Mums and Da. He has stolen my heart, Ely - a dear son, and it means nothing to me that he is not mine by blood.

I love you so much, Ely. I long for your sweet kiss and gentle embrace, to look into your eyes so clear and pure blue as the open skies before the Darkening. You give me so much joy and inspiration, my Angel.

Until soon,
Your Krys

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From Elly to Krys

as she reads over the letter delivered to her, on the wings of a messanger falcon, she gently caresses the pages with her fingertips and then holds it closely to her heart. Then she sets it on the desk and pulls out a fresh piece of parchment.

Her thoughts taken back to the very moment when they found Auhry and how he came to mean so much to them as Nemo, has in their lives. A gentle smile upon her lips as she thinks fondly of her beloved and their beautiful family.

My Beloved, My Dearest, and My Priceless Treasure,

Not even the darkest night can take away from the blessings we share. As I sort through new ideas and plans in preperation for the school and classes to begin, I am so grateful to receive word from you that you are well and that you are with our trusted Brothers and Sisters in your travels. I can always fill you near, our bond we share a miracle in infinite love, our souls as one. I would know if all were not well, as I know you would feel it within your very soul. I take comfort every moment in feeling you with me.

We all Miss you and send you our love. We wish for a swift and safe return. To welcome you again into the warmth of our loving home again. Our hearts are with you, each and every moment. Every beating of our hearts is filled with anticipation of the moment you walk through the door and we will hold each other closely again.

With each step you walk, we are with you. Be strong for us and know we pray for your safe return. Aeridin grant you safely back into our hearts and Vorax give you the strength to overcome any obstacle that might keep you from being with us again.

All Our Love,
Your Loving Family
Elly, Auhry and Nemo

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Elohanna Dawnstar

It has now been a little over 3 months since we joined our hearts as one in the Minaret of Symphony gathered with our friends. I am no longer Elohanna Min A'Litae, but now I embrace his name. Elohanna Dawnstar. Although it seems like yesterday. We have been so blessed in many ways with the gift of true friends, brothers and sisters in spirit who have become our family and are there when we need them most. Who have given us the truest gift they could, in bringing the sunshine to our lives.

I had at first had my vows written. I had known what I was going to write. I knew it for an absolute certainty, and I still have them tucked away and will keep them as a reminder that as much as you can try to plan for life, there are always different paths our life can go and may take based upon a number of possiblities and choices we make.

Our honeymoon into the Jungles of Alibor, was beautiful, so truly soul bonding as is each moment, unlike anything I have ever felt before. The gentle caress of his soft fingertips, as I feel the beating of his heart through them. His blood flowing through his body, the lovingly way he brushes his lips against my own and holds me close. Looking into his amazingly gorgeous emerald eyes, and knowing for all eternity we will be as one.

Krys and I, Us, together with Auhry our precious elven son we found hiding around our home in Fort Llast, and Nemo our beautiful daughter. Have brought happiness into our lives. They have brought to us understanding and patience. They are such blessings with whom we can share our lives with unconditionally and unyieldingly.

Among our blessings, the school is beginning to flourish. Eli would be so proud to know that his knowledge and wisdom is being shared with those worthy. I have finally found someone who shares my love of scribing as well and he has graciously accepted the offer to become my apprentice and student in the school of magic. I could not be more thrilled.

Steel and I, have also been corresponding recently and I hope to begin his and Shiff's lessons again soon. I believe it is necessary though, as does Omer, that each student needs individual instruction so that we can understand who will need the most individualized help.

It is my hope that I can personally get to know each student, to learn who they are, their background, because I believe that knowing them will help to make the lesson's go much more smoothly, and build a connection between us. It seems some of the Angel's may also be interest in joining the school as well. Omer is also wanting us to consider a different name for the school. Something less wordy I think is his idea. Omer and Elly's School of Magic is a bit long but I wonder if he would go for something like "the enlightened."

I will just have to ask and find out what he thinks. For now its time to get back to work.

Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

I can sit for hours beneath the shady trees that line the banks of Corath Lake, or walk for hours in the arms of my beloved Krysthalien. My thoughts, my heart, my strength, all come to bear in one place with my family. The blessings life has given to me.

The School is a passion, it is a dream. The school has given to me a way to give back to others who wish to embrace the weave. Magic to me, is like watching the sky falling above you in a great meteor shower, while in the warm embrace of my beloved. It is a moment in time where time stands still and you know within you that you are truly at home. It is embracing the love of your family and knowing that they are all your best friends and without one of them your life is incomplete.

Many choices have come my way recently, opprotunities, if I chose to see them as such. Not any that I can make half heartedly but that if I chose, I have to know that it is because my heart is dedicated to such a cause, because I can only give my all to any road ahead of me.

I have felt so uncertain, about the road ahead though. I have felt lost in decisions and the ultimate changes they could bring and have already brought to realizing what path I am to walk in this world. To embrace the weave, to grow the school into something more, my heart would betray the lifebringer, the one who has given to me this opprotunity to be uncertain about what path I am to walk. To embrace Lucinda would be to influence my students down a path, that only their heart can make. What I wish to give them is knoweledge and understanding and the chance to make a more informed decision about their own path and the possibilities that lie ahead.

I wish to truly teach the weave, but not only the weave. I wish to have those I teach, to truly understand the passion which resides in my heart for the magic, for the knoweledge and the understanding. I teach them not for power, it is for understanding so much more beyond what we can see, but what we feel is the truth coursing through our hearts.

As much as I would love to have the backing of Lucinda, I can not. I can not turn my back on who I am, what I believe in. I can not sacrifice who I am, and I can not lie to myself. I may never understand fully what happened between Lucinda and Aeridin, and I will not push Storold into a situation that I know hurts him deeply. I hope that Tristan will understand why I must decline such a generous offer for him to speak with the church on my behalf as well.

My heart can not abandon who I am inside for a path I can not ever fully devote myself to. This is not the path I am meant to walk. There is a greater reason that I have been placed where I am, and perhaps it is that Steel has opened that door for me.

Strengthening, guiding, helping, bringing together those we can in a common way, whether it is teaching the weave to new students, building and forging alliances, or just being someones best friend when the world seems to turn its back on them, because they are different.

I can not be all to everyone, but I can be a small part of a lot of peoples lives and perhaps that is enough. Soon I will have my own small little one to focus my affections and my attention to being all I can, not only to our little one, but to my beloved, Krysthalien. Our little family. And to me what I have been granted in my life is a blessing beyond measure, to be granted this existance is truly a gift worthy of being shared with all those whose paths we cross.

[Anamnesis]

As the years come and go one thing remains the same. With time all things will change. I am not to be any different. I bend with the wind. I succumb to its will. I too grow and change. I am no exception. I am brought into the world learning the pain of loss. Losing my friends and my family. I know how it feels to have my heart broken. How could I survive in a world that seemed so desperate to see me suffering if at the end of it all it was not meant to be as the Gods will it to be?

True love would find away into my heart. Redemption would come slowly. My faith would grow once more. I look into Krysthaliens eyes and I know that all that I have been through. All of it was leading me to the moment I would be within his arms. All of it leading to the moment I would be held by him and together we would hold our beloved son Coreth.

I would again have my faith restored in the world. I would find my purpose again. I truly feel the purpose and reason I am here. Before I questioned the reasons and whys. I questioned injustice and the infinite ways in which life is unfair. I have questioned my courage and strength. I have question motivations but not only my own but those of my own friends. I have questioned the very nature of the universe. I have let for a long time doubts to rule my life and so very rarely have I truly let the blessings that have been given to me truly sink in and understand that you can not have the dark without the light. The sun must rise and the night must come.

For years now I have been gone to my homeland to raise my son among my people among our family. I have gone home to learn again what it is like to be a part of something so bonding and strong and to let my son feel that same sense of family that I have for so long pushed away.

I absolutely adore mine and Krysthaliens son Coreth and the fire within him.  His bright red hair his beautiful blue eyes the beautiful smile on his deep red lips. The tatoo upon his shoulder that very rarely is seen except by those close to him that resembles in the right light the head of a dragon. I cherish the way he clings to my fingers and the way his smile captures my heart. I cherish his laughter and the way his ears are so gently pointed.

I watch him sleeping and within him I can feel he is touched by the weave but a peacefulness I often feel from his father resides within him as well. I feel blessed with this precious life Aeridin has given to us and the world. I appreciate truly the struggles I have been through to get this moment. This is where I have been. Falling more and more each moment in love with this smallest of treasures. I have fallen more in love with him each moment as I do with his father as I do with Aeridin for the gift of life.

For the past years I have lived my life trying to find something I have always had. Thank you Aeridin for all you have given me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you.

~Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

It seems that in my many travels and trials during those trials that life would come to show me that without the struggles, I can not truly appreciate the moments that give me more blessings to live with than I know I deserve.

Not long ago our dear friend Quantum revealed to me among others that Krys and I are again blessed with child. Truly it hit me hard in the light of the current attacks of the vampires, and when I learned that Viera wishes to take an unborn.

I have tried hiding from her but it seems she can find me wherever I am done trying. So I try to live my life as best I can, though sometimes the fear of her hurting my child, of her using me to hurt those I love hurts sometimes to much to bear.

The school struggles to stay alive with the current adversities, Sarah and Steel, my only students. Ayana has tried to talk to me about reconsidering Digs as a student and I try to explain to her why I can not. If it were not his wish to study towards a school so much against who I am. I would be more than willing to accept him.

I had even had to refuse to teach Drea anymore, because my fear is I will only lead some towards a path she will not be able to come back from and that is something I just can't live with.

Still I am able to contribute to the school in small ways, and try to contribute as much to Rose and Steel as I can, and in doing so I have also had the opprotunity to grow in my scribing skills, keeping me much closer to home. I have successfully managed to make two seventh circle scrolls but I fear at a great expense of resource attempting to make the even more elusive ninth circle scrolls.

Krysthalien and I have also begun to come together in more ways to help each other, help our friends, and achieve our dreams. His plans, his dreams, are dreams I wish to be part of, to see come to fruition.

As the sun has begun to shine again and the dust has cleared and the cold has been replaced by a warmth very much welcome by many, still the tyranny of certain regimes threatens to bring the cold back.

The Green Dragon Cult now has reached out its hand to take hold of creatures and cause them harm in attempt to strengthen their own power. I had spoken with Omer about a plan I had but he does not like my own ideas, and though I understand him, I still wish I could do more to help.

There is so much to work towards, yet I grow tired more recently, and I think that it is just I have been working so much and our growing baby within in me is just taking more of my energy. More reason than ever to stay close to home, but also more reason to stay away.

Viera and her minions know where I live so now I see the safety of a dear friend, and to stay closer to my friends when they are near. Greenfeld may come back or again he may keep to his word and leave me be after giving him the name of the city, I just hope he isn't able to find out more information and harm Miriam.

I could continue to go on and on but I have sent word ahead that I need to meet with Trith. So much needs to be done before I set off to also meet with Sarah for her lessons.

Aeridin's blessings among the lands
Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

*The page is stained with tears and the writing almost scribbled instead of the elogant script normally known from the scribe*

I can't believe she is doing this to me. She has taken away the twins, now she takes away all those I love dearly. I can not give her what she wants. My heart and soul belong to him, if I loose him...I could not bare to live. If the only way for me to keep them safe is to stay away. I will...for as long as it takes.

The vial is now in my beloved hands, I pray he destroys it. I pray he understands with the bounty on my head why I stay away. I miss him so much it hurts but I can not let her use me against him.

Aeridin please keep them all safe from harm. Protect them and guide their hearts to know I am not a vampire. I could never be one of them.

*signed*

Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

Through faith and love my beloved and I have endured a pain none should have to live through, but I have also come to learn through my beloved that love is not for me alone, that is for us all to share, but more importantly, pain is as well.

I have learned I am not his, I am not my own, I am more than just merely a possession defined by I and we and they and she, that I exist within each moment of time a part of something larger that I can not begin to fathom.

Not even my children are my own but gifts of moments of the will of my Lord Aeridin. Though it pains my heart to have lost my beloved twin children and it is a pain shared with my belove, I must take comfort they are being cared for and watched over.

I wish I could hold them and share with them how I feel, and let them know how much I love them. But it is not time yet. Now there is a beautiful little children within me growing more and more beautiful each day and loved and cherished by her father and I, and our friends.

They have all been so watchful, so caring and helpful. This life I have been blessed with is such a wonder, and I am fortunate to share it with another beautiful life.

There is so much to tell my beloved Krysthalien and I can't wait to be held in his arms again and feel the beating of his heart.

Thank you My Lord Aeridin For All Your gifts and blessings in this life.

Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

In Faith we find our strength, in our struggles our weaknesses, in our hope we find our faith.

The road has not been easy to walk down without my beloved and as each day goes by without a word, I worry, I pray and I hope that he will come home to us soon.

Auhry's eyes show with a sadness that breaks my heart to watch and Coreth, even Clarisse and Nemo, are all feeling the effects of his prolongued absense from our lives. I can not begin to tell them where he is, why we have heard nothing. I can only look to our friends, and within and find strength to be there for our children.

So many things have happened in the past few months alone that have drove the happiness away from our home. I can only try to bring it back again though it is most difficult.

Though the children are fond of Auntie Ella and Uncle Kitty, there is no denying that they long for Krysthalien to return home. I would know...I would know if the worst happened. I have faith that this truth would not be denied to me with the bond that Krys and I share together.

I miss you so much Krys that each day grows more difficult to bear without you. I pray you come home soon to us.

My Beloved Fire Opal, your heart burns bright within me and will always sustain me.

Laura and now Anne will not take away all we have worked so hard to build. I will not let them. Surely the church of Toran will be able with Quantum's help be able to stop Anne from her tyrannical rantings and teach her something more than violence as a means to achieve her goals.

I am tired of fighting with her and tired of fighting just to live a peaceful life with our children. All I want to do is hold you Krys and our children again together and be at peace.

the entry is left unsigned but tucked carefully in the pages of the journal

[Anamnesis]

tucked within the pages of the journal is a letter written reminenscent of past letters from a familiar author.

My dearest Ely-

Writing this to you from our home in Llast. Seems Auhry is well.  Haven't disturbed Coreth and Clarisse in the nursery.

On my return journey, I received a falcon note from Storold, asking assistance in some mining of mithril in the Deep, for Jennara's observatory project. Joined him, Alantha, Angela, and Sala.

Sala's magicks, blessings of Lucinda, did not extend to me, as Vorax continues to claim me despite my having renounced him.

Well, they explained this to me later, after I had fallen to a deadly attack from a magical spider-like beast. Its powers were akin to death magicks and only a death ward would have saved me.


The soul mother greeted me when I fell.  Didn't bother me much then.  I helped the others get their mithril and went my own way thereafter.


But the more I thought about it the more it bothered me, putting me in a foul mood with alot of anger. Working on some alchemy projects presently.


Just a note to let you know I have returned. Plans are to begin some travels in pursuit of my new founded interest in making potions and what not.  -Krys[/b]

--

How can it be that something so tangible could touch some ones heart so profoundly? The seemingly every day words written on parchment? But when I read again over the thoughts spilled in such away it touches my heart with so much joy and there is such enormous relief to know that my beloved has returned home to his family once more.

The peace within has settled over me much as the warmth of his embrace seems to envelope my spirit and calm our children, the soft spoken way he touches my heart by the way he speaks my name, calling me his Angel. It is as if he never left, though many things have changed while we have been apart and there are many stories to share when the time is right.

While our dreams in some ways have changed, and we have both grown in our time apart, I believe the love that already exists so strongly will only serve to grow the bond between us once more.

Praise be to Aeridin for the Lifebringer has done just that. He has brought life back into our home.

~Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

Recently with the fallen of dear friends, Abi, Shiff, Tariana, it is starting to hit me harder that I may be the last standing. Rain is sick and I am not sure how much longer he will last without some hope to renew his will for living.
 
 His children at odds with each other, and an on going struggle between them to see who is right, but a great sacrifice to seeing that theire father needs each of them. I had hoped reason would prevail with each but I seem them pulling further away from each other when they should be the strongest.
 
 And now, Krys voice resounds in my own heart, that it is okay to do things for myself, that I need to find where my heart lies, if it truly with our family or helping others.
 
 Why can't it be that I should be able to have both? My heart has always sought to help others and maybe it is because I am so close to that point in my life I may not return that I should be embracing my family the most so that they know how much I love them.
 
 Omer has taken charge of the school and the auction is almost at its end. The school will live on and the dream with it. The Council of Hope, perhaps has lost its Hope with our fallen brother and with our friends scattered to the winds.
 
 To give up almost feels as if I am pushing more and more people away, even my beloved who I love more than life itself. I love him so much I don't want his dream to fade away.
 
 The day comes when soon I will return and I will hold my children in my arms and be there for them as I should have been. The day comes closer when my own life will be reduced to memories that will fade in time.
 
 Everyone is changing around me, asking me to stop taking on so much. To slow down and do things for myself, to spend more time with my family. Clarisse needs me, Coreth and Auhry miss me deeply. Am I destined to leave them as my parents did me. Or is it time that I simply fade into the memories of friends and finally find my place among those I turned away from so long ago?
 
 I know Krysthalien's family will embrace as they always have, but what of the others of our homeland? Please be my guiding light again Krysthalien. I need you so much.
 
 ~Elly

[Anamnesis]

Am I so far distant from those I love, that I find it easier each day to walk away from the conflicts, or am I just that tired, of not being listened to?
 
 I have to let them make their own decision, I have to find my own path. I can not be the one they wish me to be anymore. Our thoughts and way of thinking so different, I no longer care for them to convince me they are right.
 
 It is not that I am closed minded, but I see through eyes not filled with the same lust for blood shed. I could not even argue with my brother any longer. I think that Muhk took things to the extreme with the guards, though he is a brother of the guild, invited into the family, I can not agree, in my heart with his actions and he should have to answer for them.
 
 Why is it that the simple truths lie so hidden to the masses? Why is it that Aeridin's blessings go unnoticed in what we have been given, that we always seek more than we need and seek to take life away from others so that ours may continue on in comfort? I am not sure that anyone could understand how I feel right now.
 
 Clarisse and Coreth, Auhry and Nemo, and of course Krysthalien, are right now the only bright spot in my life. If something were to happen to them. I vow to watch over them should Aeridin call me home, though I pray that he gives me the time to watch my family grow. Clarisse has the most angelic face, her beautiful blue eyes as if reaching into my soul to calm me when I need it most. Her red hair set on fire like her fathers. I can only imagine the woman she will become and I wish to be there to watch her grow.
 
 Coreth is truly starting to become more and more like his father, or perhaps it is just that unending ability to replenish energy that toddlers seem to have. I am glad that Nemo seems to have the same hidden energy and helps me to keep up with them all.
 
 Auhry has been so much happier with Krys and when they are together the light seems to shine from his spirit. Aeridin please keep our family safe and happy and whole.
 
 ~Elly

[Anamnesis]

His name is Elinmire, but he allows me to call him Eli. He has bushy white beard and overgrown mustache, the kind eyes, and understanding demeanor. He is an old man, knowledgeable in many things, and one who I have allowed myself to be drawn in by. He reminds me so much of myself, and of Eli, of a past of fond memories.
 
 His first spell to learn was light, and his familiar a mischievous pixie, Lae Anne, much like my own, Lianna. Their journey together, fascinating and not all that surprising to hear and I know by watching them they would fight to save each others lives. His voice, his presence and his understanding of the weave, the compassion, and the warmth of him, I am very much drawn to.
 
 I am not sure anyone but he would understand why I hold to him so dearly and think of him as a friend, a confidant. I know he is not my Eli, and that perhaps I am holding to tightly to a memory, letting that warmth and comfort come back to me in a time when I thought I had let go of Eli

[Anamnesis]

His name is Elinmire, but he allows me to call him Eli. He has bushy white beard and overgrown mustache, the kind eyes, and understanding demeanor. He is an old man, knowledgeable in many things, and one who I have allowed myself to be drawn in by. He reminds me so much of myself, and of Eli, of a past of fond memories.
 
 His first spell to learn was light, and his familiar a mischievous pixie, Lae Anne, much like my own, Lianna. Their journey together, fascinating and not all that surprising to hear and I know by watching them they would fight to save each others lives. His voice, his presence and his understanding of the weave, the compassion, and the warmth of him, I am very much drawn to.
 
I am not sure anyone but he would understand why I hold to him so dearly and think of him as a friend, a confidant. I know he is not my Eli, and that perhaps I am holding to tightly to a memory, letting that warmth and comfort come back to me in a time when I thought I had let go of Eli

[Anamnesis]

In my lifetime it may seem only a blink of an eye, years have passed since I have stepped foot into the city of Port Hempstead. It was worth it though to regain my family, to devote my heart to them, to my precious children, to their grandparents, to my beloved Krysthalian. I have never felt more at peace or more apart of a greater picture, though it may seem a small picture. These years can never be regained with my family, and I would never wish to miss a moment of their lives.
 
 I have been able to regain my focus, and my direction, and keep in touch with Grandfather, and Jaelle as well. I have even been able to give Jaelle her key to the school after speaking with Timulty. She has chosen a beautiful office, and if Timulty gets angry I will take the fall out from it, Gladly. She is a welcome addition. I will also have to get with Grandfather soon and make sure he has his key as well, and then I can begin to find students for them both.
 
 Jaelle also mentioned that Caerwyn has shown an interest in the ways of the Al'noth. I can't think of a better person I would love to teach, and hopefully soon Drakus too will wonder his way back towards the school and I can see how he has progressed since the simple spells he had mastered under my direction. He is a great student, and I am glad he chose to persue the path.
 
 So much is to happen, and each day a new beginning to be embraced.
 
 Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

I believe in my own lifetime I could never betray the love I have for my family, for our friends, though it has been a constant struggle at times to keep my own mind from focusing on the loss, I can not imagine what it would be like if I had not come to terms with those happenings, and embraced what I do have in my life all the more, for how precious every moment is.
 
 Seeing Alatriel again and understanding how much she has been through has reminded me of myself going through the struggles, and how much Ranewin was there for me when I needed her most. A true friend who wasn't judgemental when I was seeking to find true love and a friend who would listen with understanding. I know Alatriel needs this in her life as much as I did, as much as Alatriel does.
 
 Now she has a new blessing in her life, though unplanned and unintended, and Razariem it seems is the father, and should be no less embraced. I think once she holds her child she will come to terms with the miracles the Lifebringer gives us, and find in herself a new gift rather than the reminder of betrayal that it signifies right now to Aerimor.
 
 Aeridin is never without giving us gifts, nor taking them away without a reason that in the end will make us much better people simply for sharing our lives with those around us. I believe he has given me a chance to share this insight now with the next generation so they may appreciate the sacrifices given to ensure they are safe and happy, and have the chance to understand the world through our wisdom.
 
 Alatriel has asked me to speak with Zain, to impart on him, the greatness of the man that Goldwin was and how without his sacrifice, how he would not be here. She thinks he is old enough to finally understand. And though I do not know Zain as she does, I believe this is a great opprotunity to be there to share with him. Tegan also comes to mind as she was very close to him, and understood him even perhaps more than I did.
 
 Blessed by the Lifebringer,
 Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

It has been nice being back home again, and finally returning to routine, with a different perspective on life as a whole. Though the perspective seems to be my own.
 
 I have met with Ranewin again and I am not sure how her and Omer are doing, thought I do know that Omer needs to get his act together if he truly wishes to marry her. He needs to settle down. He is no longer a child, though he is young and handsome. He needs to think of her too.
 
 I have had help from my dear friend Caerwyn and Tod, also to collect much needed sawdusts to start to work on making greater parchments for my scribing collection, though sadly, I am not the greatest at them yet, my cooking still needs to progress significantly, I am striving to increase my knowledge of the art again and share my knowledge obtained throughout the years with those who need it most.
 
 This brings me to another blessing that has recently come about with Steel's help the school is now ready for the Grand Opening, the only think left to do is to post the posters and send out invitations to those who wish to come. This is an opprotunity to clarify the position of the schoo, that there is no tuition costs and that it is open to everyone who wishes to learn more of the Al'noth and more of other areas as the requests come in. I do not plan to turn away any students but it is obvious the focus will be the ways of the Al'noth.
 
 Things are shaping up nicely and I am most grateful to my dear friends for helping so much.
 
 ~Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

Recently many things have come to weigh heavily on my mind, my recent encounter with Lady Rothsford, and her attempts to enchant me for not allowing her to freely have the support and backing of the Tower Academy are the most troublesome. It seems I have stepped over the Councilors of the Academy due to such influence from her as was never my intentions. I have become a weak minded liability to the school and though Omer wishes to convince me otherwise I must admit that I am worried all the more that she will use me against them.
 
 I have also spoken with Jennara about clearing up with the Church of Rofeirine the past that still haunts me, for my actions against Aerimor and Jaelle and more the innocent child of Jaelles who I almost caused the death of, though my intentions at the time were to protect her.
 
 It has also come to my attention through a request of Miss Endar and Omer's own advice that there is a great many things that should I pass away would be lost forever, and that I should write them down to preserve a past that can only be understood through the eyes of one who has lived through it.
 
 I admit I have never been asked to write more that scrolls of the Al'noth, and flyers here and there, but to leave a history behind is very appealing to me. It is a chance for my own insights to be shared and hopefully appreciated for their value and worth. I will begin soon to gather the parchments and my thoughts and begin to preserve them for the Aragenites. I hope they find them worthy.
 
 ~Elohanna Dawnstar

[Anamnesis]

Although written in the unmistakeable scripting of a practiced elven scribe the page is smeared in some places where it appears that water has hit, what could either be the drops of rain, or more than likely the tears of a torn soul.
 
 My Dearest Krysthalien,
 
 For long you have been my treasure, for long you have granted to me your soul, your patience, your love, admiration and understanding. You have given truly to me that which I do not deserve. You have seen how my spirit was tortured by the loss of my dear friend Melanna, you have seen me through my struggle when I thought I had lost you through the passage of long journeys without a single word, and you rejoiced with me when we again rejoined and became one once more.
 
 I have seen you through the struggles of your soul, your fall from Vorax, and understood the gentleness in your touch more deeply than any could possibly. Long have we tried to bring that same happiness to our friends. The same honesty and love, and our dreams to each other unlike any could ever understand. You have held me and cried with me through the loss of our beloved children and together we finally gained the understanding that within this universe nothing is certain, nothing is more precious than embracing each moment in this world completely, and loving completely with all our heart. Never once have you tried to change me, only have you tried to open my eyes to the truth that we do not belong to each other. We do not belong to any, but that we belong to each moment in time.
 
 We are for better or worse simply meant to be. My Dearest Fire Opal, it is most difficult for me to say this but I have seen it as much in your eyes as you have in mine, that our love has changed with the distance. Though it is still within my heart as vibrant a flame as will ever be. I can not lie to you anymore than I can to myself any longer. There has always been a love deep in my soul that I have been unable to shake, and with the last of my efforts I can no longer deny. To do so is to lie to myself, to you, our children, and our friends. I simply can not. My dearest love please understand that my heart is bound by the truth and a deep respect for the honesty we share. I would say that I have fallen in love but I would be again lying to a great many people including myself.
 
 But it is not that I have fallen but that I am still very much deeply in love with Omer and I can no longer deny how I feel. It has gotten such that it hurts to deny how I feel and to live the lie I can not, though I know surely it will hurt you and our children and myself. The truth must be spoken or it will consume me in the lies of the spirit.  
 
 I don't know what is to become of this situation only that the truth has to be told. I plan to return home soon and spend some time with you and our children. I am lost right now in so many thoughts, what the gravity of this means to us both, and what it may do to our marriage.
 
 There is no doubt I love you and there is no doubt I love our children, and I will do anything for our family.
 
 ~Elly
 

[Anamnesis]

I went to seek out Ben and met Tyra along the way, I wanted to let them know that I need to travel back to see Krys but I could not begin to get the words out before our journey took us deep into the spider cave of the Silkwoods and not long after our friends began to depart. I am very relieved in some ways, as it was not much longer with my thoughts so distracted that I ran into Omer, outside of Krandor.
 
 I heard his words as he looked into my eyes with a love that I knew had been there long since I confessed my own feelings for him over 50 years ago. I told him I had wrote a letter to Krys, one I had not yet sent. I told him how I could not lie to Krys and he understood as his own heart would dare not lie to Ranewin. He told me though before I sent the letter that he had a confession he must make, one that at first stung but then understanding our the love between us was easier to accept and understand than I thought it would be. It has never mattered to us before to hold to such traditions as marriage, our bond is anything but traditional.
 
 We went for a long walk together and finally found ourselves at the lake overlooking Haven, where we spent the night holding to each other, and doing what we had never allowed ourselves to do before. To open and finally love each other without restraint. I know if Melanna would see us she would scowl at me at first but then She would be smiling that finally we are together as it should have been.
 
 I still must travelto to see Krys, but I no longer wear our ring. I no longer hide how much I love Omer. I no longer hide the truth. The hardest part of this is not in admitting how I feel but in trying my hardest not to break the hearts of those I love more than anything. Clarisse, Coreth, Auhry, Nemo, and Krys. I pray they will understand. I pray they will know in my heart I love them always. My Love for our children will never change. My Love for Krys and what he has meant in my life will always be, but I must make a choice and follow my heart truly.

[Anamnesis]

I am foolish. as simple as that. I traveled with Ben, Essa and Tod and fell in the troll caves of Dregar. I fell because of my own foolishness to prove I am more capable than I am thought of most times.
 
 I fell and Essa was there to bring me back, to learn hopefully from my mistakes, but when I fell, I felt a part of my soul being torn away. A peace that I can never gain back. It hit me as if it never has before. It hit me that at that moment I was about to do the same to Krys after he had freely given me a peace of his own soul, the day we married. I love Krys so much that it hurts to think of what I am going to do to him is as awful as if I tore his own soul from him.
 
 Aeridin you have brought his life to my own, you brought us together. I made a promise to Krys to love him forever. I promised him I would always be his Angel. I promised. My promises I have vowed never to break to those I love. My promises are why I am trusted. To break a promise so sacred. I can't. I am not sure I can.
 
 I do love Omer though as much as deeply as I do Krys. I can not deny how I feel for them both. I can not deny that the way Omer makes me feel when I am near him is that I am more treasued and loved and wanted. What am I to do?

[Anamnesis]

Each moment I spend with Omer, I have grown even closer with him. We both can hardly believe what is happening between us, or that it is really happening. We cherish each moment spent together and wish nothing more than to keep each other closer and safe. Each day I fall more in love with him and I just want to keep him close to me.
 
 I truly don't want to hurt Krys, even after the promise I have made to him, but this feels to me as if it was always meant to be. I can feel that my own heart is changing, that I am changing and I need to take this step before I try to convince myself that I can not.