Journal of Gel'larian Windsbreath

[gilshem ironstone]

I have been unfocused when I have been arrow-making, not quite able to find my rhythm in carving out arrows. I hope that when piece of my soul was wrenched away that it took that piece of creativity with it. My sewing has been unaffected, as has my gem-cutting so I hope this shall pass.

That Viper woman was interesting. She is the first mercenary I have met and I am intrigued. She was very intense and not the least bit hampered by her mute condition. She had a very provocative ease to her movements. I am not sure if it was that or the allure of trues that drew me to a possibly life-changing decision, but I think I will go to the Harpy and try and make myself available for some work. Not "wet work" but just to see what will come.

I am also ready to start my "Company of the Muse". I have it on good authority that some bandits in Alindor, near Mariner's Hold waylaid a shipment of paintings in the hopes of selling them to private collectors. I hope to liberate them and begin our collection of restored artworks. I hope I shall find blades and bows enough to aid.

Zari...  Well she is the rock in my life right now. If I need guidance, passion, excitement, inspiration or companionship, she is that. Our fights are less explosive now, more focused. Like we can see each others hearts better and can push to resolve in a more efficient fashion. Like a smokeless fire. She makes me feel clean, clear and puissant.

If only my arrows were as inspired, I would not now be closer to my grave.

[gilshem ironstone]

It is so wrong. It was supposed to be a joyous time, filled with celebrations and promises and new bonds fulfilled. I can't believe how quickly the painful ties of the past once again ruined our happiness. It's gotten it's claws in to us. Zari is so terrified of the damage she has suffered that she is convinced that Zira's happiness is a plague. Raz, well I am not sure what his problem is, but he has some terrible fear of these new babies too. And me, I am holding on to this new family so tight that I am lost. I want to protect all of them, so I find myself hurting one to protect another. It's insane. I don't know what to do, how to do the right thing, or even if there is a right thing. There is only one right thing. The fulfillment of Aeridin's will. It is only in his providence to Zira that anything makes sense. I can't believe i am saying this, but I am not sure love can solve this. I think that only the miracle that Zira carries in her can truly bring healing. I hope so, I see no other way.

[gilshem ironstone]

Gods, my soul has been broken asunder to reveal it's short and stumpy ugliness. My heart is like a lodestone that will drop clean through my organs with all the subtelty of a giants footstep. Where does music such as that derive from?  Is Jaelle Ilsare's personal representative?  Is that violin a gateway to the paradise of the Muse's imagination?  I am dumbfounded. I must learn more.

[gilshem ironstone]

I have been studying and reading more than an anti-social wizard. I fill my days questioning the artists at the Muse. Everyday for a month since I spoke with Jilseponie here. There is such a rich tradition here, so much reverence for the past that it seems a wonderous mantle to carry forward in the future. Next I plan on travelling to Blackford Castle to see if I can trace more of a histrical timeline of the works there. Perhaps Zari will join me there for a vacation.

[gilshem ironstone]

I travelled to the spider-infested caverns of the Silkwood to see if any relics of adventurers past could be found. To no avail. Persistence will be the key, thank Aeridin I am blessed with a long life. After that I made my way to the Tower Academy to see if I could find any interesting tales. Not a sniff, but perhaps I do not understand their libraries content or organization. I think my next trip will be to the bandit infested roads south of Mariner's Hold and then onwards once again to the Fort of Kings. I hope Zari does not
mind all this time on the road. I promised us a vacation, and apparently we are to go to some exotic island in Huangjin or Tilmar or something. I can't wait for the sand, water and passion.

[gilshem ironstone]

The journey to the Dragon Isles was a great success.  I travelled with Zari, Azk'a, Galiant and Lana deep in to that land, and finally to an ancient maze-like structure.  At the heart of it was a large chamber where after many long  hours of digging, mostly by Azk'a, we unearthed a beautiful Golden Harp.  It was attributed to an un-named musician who played it for his love in life.  Sadly it seems that bliss was not his, but still he left the harp as a tribute to those who would search after love and passion.  I took the harp to the Breath of the Muse, where restoration on it has begun.

In the meantime I have been preparing an expedition to descend in to the depths of the Broken Halls.  Tales of elven lore say that one might find any number of amazing artifacts from its glorious past.  I hope that my sister Alazira can join us as the rumors of vampire activity down there cannot be dismissed out of hand.

[gilshem ironstone]

The trip to the Broken Halls was very illuminating.  I have never before seen such a tragedy of culture.  The structure is sublime in its construction, and spectacular melding of form and function.  The grotto of statues was truly transporting, I spent a good time with my party soaking in their ancient tales.

When we came to the central chamber, there was not much left but dust and bones, but I did manage to retrieve a small set of poems, some better preserved than others.

I transcribed a copy of them for myself, and have transported the originals to the Breath to be preserved and displayed.

Another successful expedition lead Zari, Raz, and Andrew to a fortress of marauding goblins.  We found there a beautiful depiction of a pitched battle between one of Rael's troops and a Prantzian knight in the middle of the street.  It is said that this painting was done by an artist from a nearby while the battle raged.  He barely escaped with his life.  Before finding a safe haven, his caravan was attacked by these goblins, who took all the valuables.  This painting was still packed away, I assume it did not jingle and that was discouraging, along with a portrait of a young girl.  

The two paintings were taken.  The depiction of the battle I have brought to the Breath, but the portrait I hope to pass on to the subject or her descendants, if I may.  

It has been difficult to commit time to the search, but it is still in my mind.  All this business with the bind-chasers has been dis-concerting.  At first I was cocky in defiance, travelling to the seediest places, looking for some coward to challenge me.  I used these confrontations as a way to get the message out that the price of these bounties is not worth it, and that people should think twice about whom and why they are attacking.

That is all the control I can muster though.  I was in Center when a little girl came in and told Argali, Laz, that  of an orc and myself about a raid. We arrived only in time to find a massacre completed.  We cleaned up the bind-chasers left to looting, and as I write this, I am on the hunt to see if they are part of a larger organization.  Revenge is in my thoughts, but I must temper this.  After all these are people trying to make their way like me or anyone else.  I will give them a chance, but not two.

[gilshem ironstone]

The night is dark, so are the times,
When man leaves man to die.
For true, for pain, for glory gained,
these reasons all are lies.

Do you see the blood of neighbors loved,
spilt on the soil you till?
Do you believe that no one grieves,
for these stonebound hearts now still?

Dont walk around in ignorance.
Dont turn a blind eye.
Dont let the heart of cruel Kuhl,
Convince you of a lie.

If you would travel world round,
Untold marvels you would see.
But none would bring your heart to sing,
More than your childrens glee.

Dont let the spite of arm-ed might,
In those who seek to gain,
Take from your kids, take from your cribs,
A future free of pain.

Dont walk around in ignorance.
Dont turn a blind eye.
Dont let the heart of cruel Kuhl,
Tell you Stonebound should die.

There is a war that rages now.
Its fire do cross the lands.
But what can you, in despair do,
With these fair farmers hands.

I say this now, that this is how,
You can bring you part of peace.
Let Chasers find, if they seek the Bind,
A kick from boot to teeth.

Dont walk around in ignorance.
Dont turn a blind eye.
Dont let the heart of cruel Kuhl,
Make your people cry.

Now I dont think Stonebound are gods,
Nor better than the rest.
But I know, the fear Kuhl sows,
Creates worldwide unrest.

You people here, do know this fear,
This daughter more than most.
They turned her ma and so her pa,
Into a rumored ghost.

Dont walk around in ignorance.
Dont turn a blind eye.
Dont let the heart of cruel Kuhl,
Make lions in to flies.

So now I ask with great respect,
Courage now to brew,
To show foul men, in foul dens,
That goodness now will shine.

For if we fight with collective might,
No bandits can hold sway,
If we do not bend, safety will mend,
And peace will have the day.

Drive out the bind-chasers,
Drive them to the sea.
Drive out the will of Kuhl,
Show them Center free.

[gilshem ironstone]

I returned from Blackford in the night, the house quiet.  Razeriem was off, somewhere and Zari was in her reverie.  I immediately set upstairs, the image burning in my mind even a week after seeing it.  All teeth and malice, arrogance and elegance, made more potent by the worries of Connor and Annalee.  I went upstairs, and found a reasonably clean canvass of Zari's, took some oil paints and began.

For the next few weeks, I painted whenever I could, getting the face outside of me, so it could have a life of its own and not depend on my imagination to persist.  Zari was exasperated at me because it was all I thought of for that period, and it was a gruesome portrait if there ever was one.  Shadows of grey, thrown by the conflict between Caleron's bow and the dark soul of Damascul stood in for their bitter conflict.  The eternal war between the light and dark nature of every living thing began to breathe through my brush-strokes.

One rainy night, a few weeks later, there came a knock on the door.  The seer returned with a dark warning.  She spoke of another vampire, a female, perhaps in service to Damascul.  Is this Lannathul?  She said that Caleron was captured and toyed with and she told me of a creature that watched and laughed, that persists still, that hunts her, maybe us now.  A guardian of evil?  A shadow of Damascul?  An elder vampire as Connor mused?  Cloudy with wine, and tight with apprehension I returned to the canvas and looked upon it: something was not missing.  I took a small brush, barely two hairs together, and in the pupil of my subject painted the pained face of Caleron, or was it me?  Once finished, the similarity of the figure disturbed me.  

The Blood River calls.  With every creation, one must muddle through the darkness to find understanding.  So I wander now in a muddled darkness, more questions than answers inhabit my brain, but the pull of Caleron's mastery and Ilsare's glory call me on.  It is time to travel once again.