He looked a bit remorseful, however, squeezed her hand lightly. “There is something I need to do, when we leave here...” She nodded a little, slightly puzzled, then blinked and he was gone. His voice floated back to her, “Anna, I want you to use my home as you will... stay there, use it as a passing shelter for you and Lindel, whatever need suits you. And when I return...” She'd leaned forward to interrupt him with a kiss, but nothing was there. Just empty space.
“When I return, we'll see where the moment takes us.” He said from someplace. She opened her eyes and looked to the empty space. It was dark and cold. There was a disorienting moment, like the world suddenly fell away from her and sent her spinning.“I... I'm af-fraid... “ she whispered mournfully and suddenly she halted her movement. Her words caused him to open his eyes, a reflection of his surprise, not at her speaking but at what she said. After a few moments he whispered in return.
“Of what?”
“Of t-today ending... Of,” She paused long, “M-moving from this sp-spot... Of....” another long pause, “Of th-the past...” she finally finished. There was a long silence.
“Would you like to know what I think?” he had asked. She nodded a little and she heard him take a preparatory breath. “Today will end whether we wish it or not, and if we live it in fear of such, it will only end that much sooner,” There was a brief pause as he took another breath. “The past is what brought us to this place, to this moment. For better or worse, it is what it is, and we should not fear what has already happened...” There's another pause for a breath. “And as for moving from this spot...'' She felt the touch of his thumb lightly caress the hand of hers that was linked with his. “...that you should not fear either, for it is the one thing you can control.” She shook her head and tears sprang forth anew.
“But, you've gone.” She whispered sorrowfully.
Anna sat upright suddenly, waking from the dream with a gasp. Her head spun a bit from the sudden shift between dream and waking. The disorientation of memory and dream blending left her at a bit of a loss for a few moments. She closed her eyes and let the gentle sway of the boat calm her, then laid back against her cot. She pulled the blanket over her in a poor substitute for the arms she wished for. It had only been two days and already she'd committed her heart fully.... With all the longing and agony that came with it.
“Magic keep you...” His voice floated back to her, the last words he'd uttered before they parted. Sadness descended once again, having done so several times on this trip. She'd learned to combat it with the other memories of those two days. Though it ebbed the fears and sadness it built up the hope. Of that too she was afraid but..
“It is only time apart,” she chided herself once again. She called up the memory of his eyes opening and falling on hers. The first sight of the morning, amber tones swirled with flecks of blue and green and brown. It was an autumn day condensed down into two eyes. She smiled lightly and recalled the look... The look she wished would never turn away from her.
Consciousness faded slowly as a myriad of memories drifted across the surface of her mind.
Mai 14, 1428
“You're back!” Lindel whispered from where he sat on her belly, repeating his already stated declaration and pinning her into the grass with a playful grin. She knew her backside would hurt from the effect of the pouncing but for the moment she didn't care. Wiednihm sat beside them both with his large tongue lolling good-naturedly as he watched them both. His large form blocked nearly anything she'd want to see or not see on her right side.
“Of c-course I'm b-back,” she answered a touch sarcastically, “You'd n-not have b-been able to knock me t-to the g-ground oth-therwise.” He grinned at her turning down right impish. She narrowed her eyes at him and felt suddenly very suspicious, “Wh-what have y-you b-been into n-now? Pl-please Katia, t-tell me you d-did not p-put frogs in C-connor's bath again....”
Lindel only remained silent, something about his demeanor answering in the negative to her question, but not giving any hints to what he was so pleased about. “Well g-good, I don't w-want t-to have to cl-clean that t-tub again for a l-long t-time.” She smiled at her son caringly and ruffled his hair, “Wh-what are you about?” she asked with her suspicion eating away at her again. His expression changed to something almost scary, clearly thinking himself cleaver beyond measure.
“He's home,” Lindel whispered almost gloating.
“Wh-who's h--” she caught her breath in mid-question, suddenly hoping Lindel meant who she hoped he did. She sat upright, some inner strength allowing her to move the boy enough to get that movement started. He hopped off of her the rest of the way giggling quietly.
Anna directed her eyes towards the house, not really seeing for a few steps as she started to run. She had left all her things on the ground where Lindel had knocked her over and some vague notion tried to surface about going back to collect them. Her hood fell back in her sudden rush and then halting, and something came into her sight. Blue... She forced her eyes to focus, trying to focus the sudden storm of emotions into something manageable until she knew...
His dark hair and hazel eyes searched her as she finally seemed able to make her vision unblur. Her breath stopped involuntarily and her mind raced. What would he want? Did he still care for her? So much time had passed. A sharp pang of uncertainty and fear gripped her as she searched his face for some clue. It seemed a long moment, they stared at one another from a distance that was both far and close. She could feel her insides begin to tremble as fear took a good grip on her, but suddenly....
His eyes and expression lit with a smile... A true smile. Relief flooded her, as well as every moment of longing and care that had passed in the months he'd been gone. With the rush came tears unbidden, tears she'd have no hope of holding back even if she'd had the presence to try. She took off at a run towards him before she'd even realized she was moving. Whether he moved at all she couldn't seem to recall, but with in moments she'd leapt up and wrapped herself around him in an embrace that she hoped spoke all the words she'd wished to say but couldn't think of. She buried her face against his neck, almost afraid that he'd vanish at the touch of her skin to his as he'd done in so many dreams before, but he did not vanish. His arms tightened around her and time started to slow somehow.
It was a few moments before she heard Lindel giving away her secret pain, in whispers. She stiffened, too mortified to bother with being upset at the boy. Nothing changed in the warm embrace around her and again relief surged through her like a sudden rush of warm blood in her cold veins. It was almost painful... She clung more tightly and the world drifted away to nothing but her hold and being held.
Suddenly she felt as if she could live her life in that moment and never want for anything again...