The journal tells my live and adventures, but even i get side tracked with the writings jumping from things happened to thoughts i wrote down.I'll take a shot to try and get some flowing writing here to describe my life and give you , my daughter , an easier time to read this.*he attaches a little piece off paper on the top off the page and colors it blue with gold , "in short "he writes on it and starts to write*Your father is ,or was depending on when you read this , a simple man.When my training started i was a little boy , new to the world after living on my parents farm and not used to anything in the larger places ,like you must have felt when i got you out off the village.After the fight with my brother and me leaving home , i found a sponsor in a lady that was willing to pay for my training , only requesting from me that i pleased her physically .I was young and new to that kind off things, that is why i agreed to being her toy so long ago, to be able to pursue my dream of becoming the greatest fighter ever.My mind was set on becoming the greatest and i trained hard for that.Then i was ripped away from everything i knew and put on this side off the world."dragoncalled" they called us , our reason to be here was to destroy a threat called "Synthar Blood"In groups we trained to become strong,strong enough to have a slim change to destroy this "Blood"That is when my focus shifted, from a fighter only caring to be the best to a man with a heart and feelings , fighting to save his friends and the people from a fate worse then death.Your father met Shelu U'Ularune...my soul-mate as we were told by an Avatar from Aeridin.She gave her last soul strand in an attempt to get your father a wedding-present and left this world one day before the wedding.*sighs and swallows hard, keeping his feelings closed in to try and keep his focus on the writing itself*From then on your dad was a broken man, functioning but broken..a piece off my heart gone forever.Friends i had back then helped to get me out off the deep hole and with their help i crawled up , but ......Your father had changed my daughter..no longer was i happy man i was before.In my search for that happiness i hurt people , friends at the time that i have driven away by loving them in ways that were not possible.Ireth , Dorena and even Abi , i drove them off with the smothering love i must have made them feel nearly throwing myself at their feet just to try and find a little off the loving feeling i had found with Shelu.Then i found myself rejected , rejected for they seemingly liked to play along until it became more them a prank.Blow after blow my heart suffered , until i decided to stay alone and become what i am destined to be , or thought i was destined to be.Life is strange and cruel my daughter , for after i finally decided living with another wasn't for me , i found Sabrissia....or rather..she found me.War was close and the time the "dragomcalled "..ready or not ..would go to face Blood was close , when i met this beautiful sorceress.She captured my dwindling spirit and with the inner-fight that resulted in my heart she made me feel again.Long have we dated and finally we decided to get married , but destiny struck again....On a travel to me through the planes she was caught and held prisoner.For over ten years i have searched for her , but she was in the one place i could not search , the planes.Ten years it took to get myself to know i would never find her , thinking her dead.Then i met your mother , a simple trip showing her the lands resulted in your mother and me sharing our stories , strangely enough i wasn't looking for anything but a friend and your mother was not looking for anything more either i think.The talks we had grew deeper and more intense , we both must have felt the same , safe and at home , understood by one that didn't judge but listened and comforted.It took a while until we both gave in to our feelings and became a pair , both not wanting to rush things , both wanting to be sure before opening up to each other and again run the risk off getting hurt deeply.*smiles softly*The love we shared can be seen in you my daughter , for you truly are the result of two people loving each other no matter what happened or what was tried to drive us apart.You scare me my daughter , for you are an almost perfect copy off your mother.Stubborn , investigative , not used to the harsh life out there.Your mother fell the last time in an attempt to help others , an attempt that in my eyes she shouldn't have undertaken .There were others with her , but she didn't notify them and went off alone to aid one that was struggling to stay with the group , resulting her to get caught alone in the middle off an ambush.With her friends too far away because she went off without telling them she didn't stand a change and her friends could not reach her in time to change her fate that day.Her actions still hurt those there at times i think and her smile and laugh and wise words still are missed by all that knew her.*sighs deep*Again your father was crushed , but this time i had you my daughter my love for you kept me going and i didn't fall as deep as i have fallen before.In an attempt to ..*ponders deep*..run ..from the evil world i moved with you to the village , to find rest and peace and a place i was needed.Being there with you growing up has been the safe and peaceful haven i seemingly needed and has softened up your old father a bit.My work for the guild ensured i still kept up to date with the goings on in the world and was the thing that kept me in touch with the people that i know are my true friends.Then i met JennaJade...*smiles*...The first words i heard from her i never will forget..."I need a man that gives me five children to help rebuild my house"*grins a bit*My first thoughts i never told her , but it was along the line off "That woman is mad "We kept running in to each other and ended up talking long hours together.Slowly feelings started to develop and we both were caught by each other .My love for her is true and deep and her love for me matches it.Your brother and sister are the proof off that and i hope that by now you know that her love for you is as big as the love she has for me and your brother and sister.You will hear things whispered about your father in the streets my daughter,anything from accusing him to have killed hundreds in a peaceful grove till him being an old fool that has lost touch with reality .How those stories come about you will ask...the answer is simple .Your father has a memory that holds the things he endured and the things he feels are not to be forgiven.It is true what they say , your father has a hard time to leave the past be and start anew.It is part of me that i remember why and how i became what i am today , as it is part of me that i will not forgive people for what they have done and for what they have caused .In that regards the people are right my daughter , your father holds his memories dear and that is the reason he cant forgive others for what he holds them responsible for.*sighs*If only your father could forget..if only he could be more like others...shrugging and forgetting themselves ..changing their lives and expectations simply to fit in and be liked by those they think are powerful.Your father can not and pays for that by being ignored by many , but remember my daughter..in times like the ones your father is undergoing ..true friends will rise and the weak and cowardly that follow others for power will in the end fall to their greed and hunger to be liked.Stay true to yourself and the true friends you will find my daughter , care for your family and holds the true friends dear, for live is hard if not in company off those that love you for who you are.