Argos Stargazer - Son of conflict

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and pen .- Jinxed

*Argos stands outside Toran's temple in Llast, glancing at the architecture his hood up to protect himself from the rain, he reaches for his necklace and closes his eyes muttering a small prayer, as he then heads out towards the road to Hlint*

My.. how is that this kind of things always happens?  Toran send me your patience please, I've stayed in prayer and meditation for a whole day now, I had to leave the temple, I was starting to smell, need a bath, it has been good and enligthening , at least my soul feels at ease today, yet the answers eluded  me.

Where to start ? Well .. he start I guess. Finally met with Zira for a well deserved Holiday, Geez ..a week without knowing of her not seeing her, As time passes I find duty taking me more away from her at each time. This is odd since I am doing toran's work,  and i am not part of the church, not that it matters too much really, but some acknoledgement would be good for a change, I don't persue it tough, Toran has set me on this path for a reason, I should not doubt it.

Well.. I was troubled for me and my Stareyes. When we had finally a chance for a holiday, Then demons and pit creatures spawned from nowhere , She is wonderful tough and don't complain, its like if we had the call to do the goodness to the land naturally. OF course it was the right thing to do, I would do it again, and she .. well she did the same. By every holy sword in the world, we barely spoke during the trip.

This at least have good things tough, I finally have made peace with Miady Samminya, after my rash beheavior, she might not say it, and she will never do it, because in that she'll be accepting she cares for me , and i don't think she'll like to accept that idea herself, and I think we are fine now. she has forgiven me , Maybe she won't forget, But i won't ask for such thing, I was acting rash , and she has been kind enough to forgive me.

On the other hand Is this man Kolby, always pressing me about being stuffy, My if he only could see himself in the mirror, I think I understand him, even if he says that I confuse him to death, he is more likely to me than he would like to admit, and yet he enjoys to pick on me for my rigtheousness, maybe a way to tell himself that he is not like me, A self defense mechanism , I've heard of that.

We found this girl, That ended being a pit lord or something, Even if i forgive her. Cursed be the tonge of Samminya..  She spoke to this girl and in the next second she was already leaning over me and hugging me , in front of Zira, For goodness, this has been weird.  I felt totally weiird on this , What I have to do to women stop jumping over me?, I am taken for goodness sake, and then Sam and her gossips saying i had three women, And then That crazy lady Rory, Who she thinks she is ? she speak with mom, and mom is telling my story life?  with wich purpose ?

I feel awful fo my dear heart, She always have to deal with this, I feel like if i were cheating to her, I know.. she says she is fine. . But ... Am I really the one to blame in this?

Argos Stargazer . Jinxed

**the man keeps walking with a serene smile as he walks towards Hlint, humming a tune *

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and pen .- Away..

*Argos is seen in deep meditation , wearing his blue and white robe, kneeling over the altar with his sword and shield in front of him, his concentration is broken as Celia comes near him and playfully touches his shoulder bringing some food to him, he look up with a look filled with a mixure of feelings, she sits near him and they start to discuss , as they eat *

The test of The order of the Longsword..

I am able to present this again?  is this the right path? I must say that this all has been quite strange,  I've been here in Huangjin, for two weeks now, Its good to be back here in the citadel for training, Milady Daniella has sent me here to train under his father, Master Kendrik is a fair and honest man, and her wife strickt but kind. I must say I am surprised of this. In the other hand I find it quite strange really.

I've been here for two weeks from now, and no mail from Zira has reached my hands, I've been tempted to take the portal and go and search for her, but what Would i achieve in doing that ? I have to think better , and to show resilence. I've asked her for a year of abstinence before this, I wonder If i finally had broken her?  no.. Must not be that way .. Maybe she is lost, Why else she had not written to me?

Two letters I've sent by now and no answer from her, I wonder what would be happening with her. But I must not falter on this, this is a test. Ï .. I.. Dont know what to do..  My heart feels that i must stay... this is a temptation... Zira. . would this love be as bad as everyone says it is ? NO.. I don't believe that.  This what I feel inside cannot be wrong?  how could it be wrong ? Is this a lure set by Ilsare ?  I... must stay..  for her love .. I must  stay true to my tennets. If i fail Then I'll prove them that they are right.  that I lacked the discipline to be a knight. That I will be a shame to my father, and I won't be labeled that way.

Oh My family that is cut apart, I cant believe they finally had closed their doors to me, I guess was simply too much for them, Not like they are a family anymore anyhow. Mother said she loved me. and then she does this, They did not even allowed me to see to Keira, Lance not even allowed me into his presence. I Love them but..  

Gladly my training has keep me busy, and to see this place again has cheered me, in good grade,  Celia is a boon, really, She makes me smile , when I am sad, I missed her , but She is not Zira, and i can't stop thinking on her.  

But I have to finish this, For her for me and more important .. For Toran

Cillnya Dragonbane

**The young couple finshes the meals and walk down toward the training arena *

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and Pen .- The eyes of duty.

I've noticed dear journal how painful is the way of duty at times. I've seen and felt the harsh blade of it all over my life and I doubt it will stop soon on this.

What duty will carry me to do? What my blade has to do when the right time comes? Dad was right.. I was so childish. I was a coward to accept what i was doing and who I really am.  I was so affraid that I blamed on him of all the bad things taht happened to me.
 
But what i did the last trip have no name. I almost killed her and my friend, My eyes were blurred or my mind cleared to see what I really see? I am affraid to harm them, I saw not my friend..  I saw a dark elf and someone who tried to stole Zira from me, he had hitted on her twice,  I love him as my friend , we have lived a lot of things together Why I would distrust him enough to try to kill him?

And her, how could i hurt her? I fought as if she were my sworn enemy, I can remember each strike each pierce *as some tears start to show* I wanted her dead, She said i was confused, but no i wasn't It was her, I saw her clearly as the day, If i were confused i would have seen a sucubbus or a vampire, but no.. I saw .... her..

And with all my might I pierced her body, I remember my blade piercing clearly thru her shoulder and the feeling that it brought a feeling of duty, a feeling .. of joy and the most important of all ... A feeling of my heart being teared appart at the same time.  

We spoke of this, Its us against the world she says. And she is right.  But I am to be trusted ?  I know that I love her, but at the same time, I have doubts on where this love would carry me, I don't want to harm her, And if duty takes me away as did with Dad, I'll end harming her, badly.

She stays with me, and now she's sleeping, She doesn't get worried upon this, she says this was not me. But it was. I know it was me. I should not worry her more.  Some people would say I should left this pain to myself, but not me. It would be stupid to carry this burden on my own, when I have you to help me with it, So in you my Lord I'll find support to carry this pain, I know it will never go away , but with you it will be enough for i to not become a burden but a learning experience.

What do i do?  My Lord, Send me your peace, I know I could not call me your knight yet, But I know that you love me, I am trying to be accepted by your church, and proceed with my training as intended.

Protect Master Kendrik and Milady Rebecca, since they have taken care for me and has done all in their power to help me to reach you, I pray you for protection for my friends Rottie, needs your guidance, I see in his eyes a too familiar feeling, part of him has died since we were taken prisioners by the slavers, The inocence in his eyes is long gone now. For him I pray to show him your light and your enlightment  I've seen in his soul the potential to do good, he's a tormented soul. Help me to save him.

Finally Protect my father, your knight, From any harm, Let him know that i love him, even if i should not reach for him yet, I've understood all his teachings all what he wanted me to watch, to learn, by pain and trust.

Protect my mother, I know.. I know.. But she is a good woman, and I love her, I submit you to your will, But at least bring her no harm, Allow me to get away from her path in order she could be happy, I'd wish her by my side, but If its not her will , nothing to do about it, I am not changuing who i am, She in a way raised me to be the man I am. Just protect her .. Let her to be happy in the life she has choosen.

And finally I'll ask you for guidance for me and my lady. you have given me the freedom to love, And I've tried to keep myself into your path, I'll give you my thanks for that.  And will today promise you that I'll keep on my purpose...

The test should be come near. I won't fail this time. .

Argos Stargazer's initiate of the order of the Long Sword

[Lance Stargazer]

From the quill and pen of Argos Stargazer - A ligth from the past

*Argos sits on the bed of the inn, looking at himself on the mirror, a grin on his face as his hair seems to be all messed for first time in a while, having a sligth on his discipline the sprouts of a blonde beard can be seen on his face, he looks at the puoch at his feet with a intriguing look, as if expecting an answer from it , in an itempestive movement he kicks the pouch, sending it to the wall, with a Thud the puch impacts the wall and a lot of skelleton knuckles flies in all directions. With a sigh he sits and then lays down in the bed*

Women. They are a mistery on their own, I don't think there is a single man out there that can understand them, They are impulsive, rash, and well non understandable.  

Guess better start from the beggining, I've met another Toranite on the last days, her name is Lucia, or as that she  introduced herself, I must say that is refreshing to see her in action, she's blessed by my lord, in a way I'd wish to be blessed, She's a priestess of the hand of virtue, ordered and  officialized in the ranks of the church, I must say that when i learned this i was a bit nervous, I usually don't see many of priests as travelers.  I offered my help to bring her protection and assisance as a knight should do,  That is what we work for no? Well even if i am not a knight myself yet.

We did some works for the locals on the southern mistone, During the trip i felt something strong. I felt my soul to be ligthening, with each blessing some weight was lifted on my soul, with each word, my heart bleed and pump of goodness, with each strike i feel justice and HIS holy might coursing thru my veins. Its something i had not felt since that day in Huangjin, The day of my true awakening. What does this mean , What else could mean, Argos. You are choosen, means that my choice of retaking the test will go well. The reward for doing a good job is the chance to do more work they say.

My convictions were tested and i think that this holds a message bigger that i could even fanthom, It was during the  trip on the Vehl Crypts that We witnessed the arisen of some odd undead, All dressed as pirates and hard as nails to strike, have Toran sent her for me to protect her of this thread? Or was it the other way?  We found a inteligent undead by the end of the cave, The specter and I battled sword by sword, As the battle past and Milady Lucia was striking over the rest, She came to help and when she clenched her sword into the enemy i had the chance and Toran be praised, we put the body of this undead to rest, the threat of a curse over the town. But there was nothing else that we could do on that regard.

I migth be biased, but i tought it was a deed by that necromancer on the gloom woods, it has been years since i've heard of him, Not since that three day of tracking him, he's waiting and well .. I am sidetraking here, Maybe I tought that the gloom forest would hold the answer, Its hard to explain what happened there. We faced and battled the undead of the cursed forest with no respite, I must confess dear journal that i had sinned of pride when fighting with her, I was figthing without blessings all the time till we faced the pirate leuiteniant, I consider myself good enough with my training to face most of the things we did thus that place, but Even then I felt good to be able to do so, I guess i didn't wanted to show her the powers that had envisted into me by my lord, how she would react to see what I was able to do with Toran's power, Being outclassed by rank but not by power, One of my demons to face. And I've dedicated a day of praying to this regard.

That is where the mistery got thrown over me. after we got out of the forest, She turn to me and told me that I was secretive.  then she ran off to hempstead in a rampant of ire, Starting this moment she stayed away, not wanting my help, She fell to the kobolds near hempstead , I was not close or fast enough to save her, And i don't think she would like to be saved by me anyhow.

Guess that is why Dad always said, you can't love and understand women, its imposible to do both things, I'd go with love. But what to do when they start to act as that.  I do not understand .. We are supposed to be like minded, we are supposed to be stronger together, I just hope she does well on the adventures and the path Toran has set to her,  She outranks me.

That day we met Aunt Daniella, and she gave her a iron plate, Another toranite that gets the atention of the vault, since Argos still have to keep his toes to get his things, I guess that is because I am no part of the church.

I do need to meditate, so the light can erase this doubts and brings wisdom and understanding on where my place is, and what my priorities are . The order of the longsword is waiting,. I shall not falter, In Toran's name I won't fail again.

*The night fall on the silent room ,  as the young man fell victim of his own dreams of tests and great adventures*

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and Pen .- Facing our demons.

-Be happy with your other family -

The woman said in calm and broken voice to the young man, for that moment the world seemed to freeze for him as he saw her walking into the streets of Hlint, walking away from him and of his life. as the man observe the woman walk he was unable to follow and the reality seemed to be changing as his heart got ripped by the mixure of feelings.

Then he woke up.

A dream ... again the same dream.

Laying down in the beach all wet, his eyes getting used to the star ligth, For first he in his confusion he saw an elven girl with worried face, but as the reason started to come back to him, his eyes capted the reality, a human female near his age, someone who has saved him in the past so many times , his friend Celia, gazing at him with a worried look almost crying, she was wet as himself he noticed inmediately after.

Then the clarity came back to him, he had came to the beach in the night, to face his fears, he got out without nobody noticing, Of course Master Kendrik nor milady Rebecca should know of this shame ful fear, IT would not be acceptable, this is as everything else, something he had to acomplish on his own, he cursed to himself fue his aparent failure, and thank Toran for had sending Celia to save him, She was really worried but his concern become anger when she learned what he was doing there.

Argos had not been the same since that day with the battle sisters, The day they jumped and subdue him, no matter his best effort , the very day those three throwed him to the Hlint pound and he almost died by drowning.  It is not simply right that a knight have such fear for water, and it must be fought and conquered.

Once he recovered his breath he look over Celia with that apologetic smile, he had learned to supress his anger and frustration along all this years, he had learned to smile even in the worse situations, In Toran's light he'll be fine, he had to be, The world had enough complain for him to be complaining more. he had to be strong, or else he'll fail.

Alongside all this months the young initiate had been trying to beat this fear to water, with little success,  he was starting to feel despertate, desperate enough to go and try to beat the fear without supervision, Even him at this state had to  accept that was foolish.

He stood and tried to dry his clothes with the breze of the beach. the night was so overwhelming to the senses and the two toranites stayed there obseriving as the moons made their pass over the sky. Both under the close supervision of Toran's mighty star, always watching over them.

Celia and him argued for a while, but in the end they worked out their issues, She of course would never understood the stubborn man point of view, and the initiate himself would never accept in public to be wrong.  Well maybe after much insistance.  

The moonlight watched the two Toranites walking back towards Huangjin as many times before in the past,

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer quill and pen - The test .

*The sand storm strike hard the small Settlement of North Fort, in the arid dessert of Dregar, as the cruel winds strike vilently the scarce palms and the tents at the same time, The people on the tenrs gathered around the small fires to get some warm on the night all covered in wool tunics covering their faces and bodies, chatters over the tent, a feeling of tense calm over the place, knowing that at least The giants that dwell the dessert won't dare to attack in the middle of the storm

To the casual observer , the man in the corner would not look diferent to the rest of the locals, save for his white skin and his blue eyes, wearing the same wool tunic as the rest of them, the thick blonde beard and his uncut long hair of the same color. Also the marks under his eyes , with calm and distracted stance as he holds his book *

Dear Journal .

How this happened? By all the dangers and situations I have passed, why this? why now ? Why when its so near ? I've harmed her, By my actions but I've done what I had to do, I have doubts, The prayers does not bring me confort anymore, not knowing how deep wound i have caused by my action and inaction.

How could he dare? Who gave him that right to make the choice for us?  He's my beloved uncle, he's supposed to do things that are good for me, And yet he did this for our good? I am sure he believes that, yet I can't forgive him. Not only for me but for her. she asked me to promise that we were alright. I couldn't say I was, not after this, I was so close to lose everything, and maybe even her, What should i do? If this is made by someone who cares for me, what should I expect of those who actually wish me harm?  how can i protect her of them? If was unable to protect her for a "good" deed.

Mother and Aunt Jill came to the rescue, they avoid the tragedy, Even Zira knew that it can't be done, but when i was there on that state, I was so near to throw all over to the board, I was so vehemtly going to say YES. And she would do the same, That is what worries me, I know of her true wishes, And I am affraid I have the same ones, at least regarding to her, she's the woman that was born for me to love. yet iut has to be on the wrong spot and the wrong faith. Or maybe the right one?

I've spoken to Aunt Daniella, It put in a way my soul to ease in helping her, yet I haven't seen her, nor anyone else since then, Its better this way, I need time in solitude, time in meditation with my lord, I've sent letters to my father, Keira, Zira and Mother, to let them know that i am alright, I've sent a note as well to the bank and milady Elohana so she could get the rent of the room, after all she's not the one to pay for my problems and The room is still being used so the trues shall be paid.

I've been wandering over, passing some days in Mistone and so tempted to go and see her, But not yet, I am still not ready, what would i tell her if I don't feel whole myself, By this seven years part of my soul is feeling dead, I am not even sure I would like to speak to Celia about this, She knows me too well, And since her advice is usually sound, I don't think i would like to hear truth right now. Because deep in my soul , I don't know what is true. I can only find one truth right now.  Its us against the world . That my heart keep whispering, But how we are going to fight and win this battle ? What is the right strategy?

I am confused and lost, I've sent a letter to Master Kendrik as well explaining my procedings. I have not put down my training. and kee practicing with passion every day, this town I've helped in the past, The captain knows me and well the pay is not good, but well keep me trained and give me the chance to help people that would make me feel better. help always does.

I am better as the time passes, I just hope that i should have not caused more harm with my mouth, I slip something that i regrest now, I just hope she would understand that I was not throwing an acusation, Since I don't have proofs.

Toran help me to find peace, And Please give Zira patience and discipline to understand my proceddings.  I know you won't care for Ilsare, I submit myself to your wisdom and will, but I know as well that you are a Lord of goodness, and that you do the best to give a shape to this world. For this reason I pray for your grace and light on this times and the darkest hours of your knight.

**The man look over his face reflection over a bowl of water, his other time brigth eyes now darkened by the shadows  of doubt, he touches his beard as if not believing is there. contemplating the scene, without taking notice of the  big figure that aproached to him on his back*

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and Pen .- The cycle of life..  Lives ends, lives begins.

*The young man is seen, tears in his eyes sit at the bed on the room, holding the hand of the old lady, The light of the candles and the silence of the house added an eerie feeling to the room, The old lady eyes filled in joy for the presence of the man, They chat and laugh beetwen tears, remembering a lot of thing*


-What's wrong with him ? doesn't he learn ? -

I don't believe this, I came to see Keira upon hearing of her sickness , and come to find this?

Oh Dear Journal, why? Seems that as time pass, life becomes more complicated, I have not being accepted in the church yet, I am still training and well. its not easier when enlightment hides from you, And now this? I've finally accepted that My family will never be together again, It was a hard step, but now this?  

Keira is very sick, I don't see how she could get better of this, She seems weak, and his eyes speak of rest, I don't want her to go, Father is not here as usual, yet I don't see how it could have helped the situation, has been near six months that I haven't seen him or spoken to him, Despite Master Kendrik orders, Its something that i should not do yet. And how i can do it with this now ?

When arriving *the word home is striked* here, I found that he has done it again, Keira says i should not get worried, That she'll be fine, But having another child under his tutelage, and a girl nonetheless, Its simply something i don't get. I know he did the best he could with me, but that is not enough, how could he expects to raise a girl,

On other regards I've finally spoken to the owner of the Twin Dragons inn, Regarding our personal project, I've found the artist for the work in Huangjin and now I only need to start to get the materials and the trues for transportation for making it a tangible reality. I don't know how the people can stand this?

People should wake up, and see what happened here, This is not a tantrum of revenge, no, this is a call for truth to be uncovered, how can people rest when they disguises Arson with measures for safety? how the people who died on the fires are guilty of any of the things this man Steel has commited.  A war they say. How is posible that the autorithies could consider the threats of a single criminal and take seriously a war declaration? That is simply not  right.

For now that is all, I'll stay here for the rest of the day with my Keira, but can't affort to stay much time, Duty us calling me back in Dregar soon. and the temptation is too strong here. I must not falter.

Argos Stargazer .

*As the two speaks. the small figure of Myla walks over the the room, she looks oddly at Argos at the same time she goes and hug Keira, And at the same time asks him with the curiosity that only  a little girl could have .. .

-Who are you?
*

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and pen .- The sword that pierces the heart, Or the sheath that holds passion.

*Argos stands quietly standing in the room, the whole world seems to be spinning around him as the initiate loses the concience falling heavily over the blue rug , his hand holding a letter and his other hand touching where his heart is, tired his body was unable to hold more finally collapsing into a deep slumber. *

Its done,

Were rottie's words the key of this?  Is Toran the one who spoke to me to ake this choice? Or its just me on my own selfinsh desires that I am fighting about, I had to left her , with great grief to my heart, Left her before I pierce her heart and destroy the wonderful woman she is. It's not about that,  Its about me, I am for some reason a seed of chaos for every life I touch. I know people would not say its true, but i know it is.

I feel empty at the moment, yet knowing that I've hurt her for last time conforts me in a way, she's so kind, This letter will be forever with me, and Ayle, well there is no words to keep with this, I've placed the little bear besides that flower that Lucia gave me, yet this room does not feels the same, There is a feeling of hollow that creeps everywhere, Now, I am alone.

No family, no love, just Toran and me .. The test will be on the priorities now,  That is what i have to tell me to make me go thru.

Zira.. My promises stands regardless. Even if you are not with me. Is this the true test for me? Is this the sacrifice i have to do?  

I need to meditate, to think. .  To forget maybe?  What is that ligth at the end of the tunnel, Is that hope?  

Toran send me your wisdom, you are the only one i have now.

**The silence fills the room as the man finally sleeps after rough nights and harder days *

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer quill and pen .- The waves of redemption. thorny and dark as the nightmares of the men .

*The young initiate stand in the beach, only wearing his leather pants, again this morning as everyother morning in the last week, As he takes his patrols near Audira , his campment is simple and near the beach taht so many times saw him when he was a child.

He stands there , feeling the morning wind in his face and body, his hair free in the matinal breeze, as looks to the sunrise, he stands there silent, after some minutes he holds high the desserbloom flower in his hand and walking towards the sea he drops the flower to the sea, and observes how is it taken away.

His blue eyes looking at the ocean as he tries to drift his toughts in the waves before turning his back to the sea, and start to prepare himself for the patrol.

The waves strikes the beach over and over , The words "US against the world" seems to be blurring, and disapear after the waves caressing the soft sand, Again erasing it as everymoring in the last week , and as it will erase it in the next morning.  

The man dresses and start to walk towards the exit of the town. Alone holding with strenght his anhk on his hands *

[Lance Stargazer]

Parenthood. and love . Curses and Blessings.

**Argos sits on the couch, pondering on the course of his life, and as cleaning his chest, he arches an eyebrow upon finding the old book,  how long has passed since he reached for it, it seemed as if he was reading another person memories, he smiles secretly as he sees the first page with that crude draw he made of his family, how inocent was then, he was happy and he didn't knew it , oh how he would love to have the "problems" he had now, children should not grow up, they are happy with their small duties, but they are too focused to actually noticing it,  

His father once said, Its a shame that the youth is wasted on youngsters, it sounded silly at first, but now much of what his father said had made sense, The duty of leaving those you love for the duty, he wondered how many times his father had to leave home without turning his head back, to look back, he wondered how he felt when he was having his own conclussions on his own mind without having all in the account.

He just  wondered . . .

As he was reading over , the poems he once wrote, the letters he kept and the ones he never sent for not making things worse, Zira is happy at least, and in the end things turned good for her, that at least it was a burden less to his soul, She had her twins, and is loved, Something he could never have given her, and well. not something he had desired anyway . . then .

How things change in few years, the once confused young man that wrote in that book to the man that he is now.  A knight finally after lots of tests and a war on his shoulders, he had seen a lot of death, and his hands are full of blood now, he had taken more lives he could count , and he was not proud of it, yet .. a knight has to do what a knight has to do .

As the night advanced he turned to the small crib and watched down the two small boys, almost identical as the moons. One bigger and stronger than the other, and yet the oposite and balance of the other, Life had odd ways to teach him lessons.  he had been scared of this moment, somehow he still was scared,  But there was nowhere to run on this one,  no exit, he had to step up and be a man,  Somehow  those two had changed him. how would he be called to them, when he didn't wanted them on first place, he thought it was his duty,  but slowly as days passed duty became other things, he was simply proud of them be quiet when he carries with him, how they rely on him for protection , warmth and love.  How wise was his lord on sending this to him. Perhaps that was the intent,  Perhaps his cue to start being a man.

His companion and him had their issues, he didn't feel he could trust her as couples should be, It is odd, and stiill he loves her, somehow that cheeky farm girl had won his heart, heal it, not sure, but was preety close to it, Rory had her own issues as well, and she seemed to be better with him, he would never say that he healed her fully, same as with him , their pasts will haunt them forever, It was bad to look to those pasts, but perhaps the boys showed them something to look forwarrd,  A future together . ..

Letting the diary aside , the man wrote .

""From Argos Stargazer's Quill and Pen, " But nothing came of it, he sighted and then smiled,

-It is like in the beggining , how dad and mom were able to write so much .- he wondered asking the same question as when he was a kid.

With that he pulled out a couple of empty notebooks in blue and gold and let them rest on the table beside the crib, looking down at his babies Ausir and Aidan filled his eyes, with light and joy, it is hard how something that small could bring so much joy .

**he start to speak to them  

- Ilylaem - *he said to Ausir , then turning to Audan he spok - Ilewil -

**he was checking with her mother books of the language . he wanted them to learn his grandmother languaje,  Things were discussed with Rory about leaving the boys some time with people who speak the language, But that will be on the future,  his boys are for him now.  

**he stayed with them speaking to them , then returns to the bed, where his tired companiong was, Resting and taking the whole bed for her, he shaked his head observing to the farm girl , stubborn, pround and still lovely, he never thought they could end together at first, but now there she was, laying down resting and tired of waiting for him , it counldn't be helped, he had things to do, before more thoughts of guilt came to his mind , he put the book gently on the table and slip into the bed, hugging her and drifting on deep sleep .

Tomorrow will be another day

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's Quill and Pen  - Wedding and love , duty and love, Is ther anything that doesn't come to spit love on your face? *

**Argos is seen practicing without his shirt, dealing with the old drills of his old days of training for knight,  he stoped and cleanse the sweat of his forehead, returning the sight to his sons, they was there watching him , he was so sure they didn't understand what was happening, but they looked at his drills still with the same atention as if they were the most versed in combat techniques  *.

*He had to destress out, they had an argument again, The wedding came to the subject again, he still don't understand the situation, so far things were going good. and then this came,  and things started to change, they seemed to argue often, and he was felt push away in more than one ocassion, he was aware that he is not perfect, and that perhaps he had this well deserved,  But what he couldn't get is how things changed, and why they couldn't get to a solution regarding that *

**He caressed the twins heads, smiling at them and looking at the preety boys that now stood in front of him , Ausir was all excited and moving around and kicking , Aidan, more conservative just look at his father as if wondering why he had the hair that long*

*Argos looked at the boys and thought of the irony on his life, how now he being a father would make his life change, he remembered some months ago to have been present as his parents married in the middle of the war, he was there for them, and lots of mixed feelings on his head, his father and mother would never be able to get a son of their own flesh and blood, and here is him now having their own, Now.  the situation is.  they finally married, after aeons  it happened,  they splitted themselves and they got back together and they married , when all seemed dificult and against all the situations they mary,   and he again the shadow following him,  he had no issues no big troubles , no impediments, and still he had doubts *

*he had said yes once, but a big misunderstood came it was eithe she didn't heard or he wasn't unable to express his intent well, and now she lose no chance to speak of the marriage on his face, over and over, the remaks hurting him each time she mentioned it.  He managed to do it again, he knew that he hurt her with his doubts, and still it was a two player game, he is in pain as well , add to the mix, that he seemed to find Ilsarenas even in the milk, every thing was like spinning around his head , So many signals and yet all of them decieving, he probably was thinking to hard, and all that was coincidences, he should know better than to give credit to "ilsarean omens" in order to make a descicion*

*he had to think a lot , and kept his thoughts aside, he needed to pray, he took his kids with him and sit with them , as he started to pray  *

"Oh my Lord. . hand of virtue, send your light to your knight on the day of need .... .   "

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's Quill and Pen .- The cycle around the life

*Argos seems frowning trying to figure out how the blasted diaper is placed, this usually would  not a big trouble with so many women in the house, but not today , it has been one of those days that everyone seemed to be busy, Another test the knight thought.

Ausir was not making it easier for him, as if the boy knew that his father had close to no experience with the diaper, the boy kicked and rolled over to put his father patience to a test, in the mean time Audian smiled happily at the exchange , things were completly diferent with him, he liked to be clean and neat as if he had learned what the diaper use was, he did not gave as much trouble as his brother.  All of sudden Aidan burst out laughing as Ausir did the final mischief to his father , without notice the big boy decided that he wanted to pee, and the knight could not do other thing than cover himself with his hands but was too late, the knight threw a glare at the big boy which started to calm down as if knowing that perhaps he went a bit too far this time. The moment of peace didn't last much , and the voice of Argos son made itself present , a big cry sound around all the room, now he noticing that not having the diaper was really not that good idea.

At this moment a worried Rory entered the room and with a frown looked at Argos all wet, she laughed a bit once she saw that her sons were alright * - Aww Darlin. you look so cute  - *the woman grins half teasing half conforting him with that lovely grin Argos loved so much .

*The knight shaked his head at her, with a teasing movement he gestured to her, but after some moments he prefered to go and take a shower and let his partner to deal with the troublesome Ausir, oh that boy was strong.*

*Once he took the shower the Stargazer's castle seemed empty again, he observed how Rory was feeding his sons, he stayed at the door's frame looking at the scene with mixure feelings, there she was, the mother of his children feeding them and caring them , that woman and him had passed too much time and too many things over, how bad is for them to live as they were. Argos bitted his lower lip, for once accepting how scared he was, not for her, as the time passsed , he had learned to love that woman, to trust her and to see her beside him, and yet,.. the marriage,  Looking at her there sitting and dedicating her life to his flesh and blood.  it was not fair for her, But what about of him?  he was not fullfilling his role, and despite of all , he was affraid of the compromise.  that came to him as a shock , finishing with the dry of his hair, he entered finally into the room, and with a kiss on Rory's cheek he sits beside her and half hug her.*

- You know . .. I love you.  Thank you for being here for us, *smiling * We'll be lost without you .

**AS the rain kept falling on Leringard the light went off as the new family prepared to sleep *

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's Quill and Pen .- Songs of joy

**Leringard was calm that night, the eeric silence around the room made the moment a bit more unique to him, sitting on the coach Argos Stargazer, was looking to that letter, his eyes stern and at the same time deep in them peace and pain as he read over and over the lines, he slowly folded the letter again and put it back into the file where he kept those things then back to his backpack , it was as the letter said a harsh one, but he deserved each one of those words, still somehow it brought him peace, for once he was doing the right thing , it was a good way to start to do the right things on his life. removing the overwhelming feelings of his head, he headed out to see his sons,

Aidan and Ausir, again laying there playing with each other,  the tough man stared down at them as if trying to catch their atention. he inmediatelly changed his features to look friendly and loving, a game they had secretly developed , they loved to see his father, and his father somehow as days were passing was starting to understand more and more about parenthood, those born in a harsh world. and they'll need him to protect them, to nurture them, to help them to be decent people,  but over all things for love them, their mother was also there for them , but he knew for his own experience the importance of a father, they don't needed a detached father, so again time to do things right. The young man sighed a bit as he leans to pick up the babies and start to confort them , he took them to the couch and sitting there with one in each arm he looked at them, the boys calm looked at him back, awe on their eyes. he then start to do something he had not done in long time.. he started to sing.

A frind of me has hinted
that is a feeling beyond be right or wrong
That I'll get used to each change that will come
When i got the news that I'll be father
Geez. I don't know what should do
If i should laugh or cry ,
Or to learn to sing lullabies to the babies

To be honest i can tell
That i got affraid of a sock
Too little for someone to wear
That I feel terrorized for a small shirt
With mouses and buttons
that i think that i'll be going much faster than now
To the laughter house
That I can't resist the curiosity
To dream on the years to come
That being taken by a hand
to being trusted by someone
And being called Dad

*As the night goes and the songs transpired the three Stargazer's fell asleep *

[Lance Stargazer]

Form Argos Stargazer's quill and pen .- Family , duty,  True call .. what does that mean  ?

**Argos sits on his tent, his wife to be to come soon, she went out to find water and some food, he was in charge of preparing the tent, the desert can be hard to stand , but they will manage, even on the busy town as North fort is, The last raid of giants was succesfully put back, and so the knigth rested knowing that at least they will have a night of peace *

Well its done. I did it, you know journal, I asked her to marry me,  I gave the ring and some promises , which i in the end fullfilled. Its funny cause now the twins are growing up fast, they spend much time with Keira at my father's home, i am glad and hope they help Keira to recover of her sickness.

We spoke and we agreed to have another baby, this time was diferent , not driven by fears, and wildly , but this time feels diferent, its expected and we were blessed, she is pregnant again, I really don't know what to say , other than Thank you Toran.

I wonder if this was my path since the start, I've met the students of that fancy program that Lance and aunt are doing.  It feels unreal really, those young ones are lucky, It puts in perspective a lot of things, What would have i do for a program like that.  but of course my mind was fuzzy and when i was their age, well My thoughts were in Audira.

It puts a lot of things on perspective, I always thought myself a failure.  I was the son of Lance Stargazer, always trained and be the best on my excerscises, and yet. I failed on my test and now i am sure despite being acknowledged by the church. I'll never be like my father. And perhaps its that I was forcing it. I've been following a call that its not mine perhaps?  

At my age dad had fought several wars, and was a shinning example on the church , I must say yes, I admire him for his courage, And I've been unfair to him, still i can't help the sting on my soul and sometimes it goes out in a bitterness i don't want to feel , yet its there.  I on the other hand , helped Audira, but what were my reasons for it?  I saw most of my childhood friends dead there, War is awful indeed. I am affraid.  And yet .. what is my call ?

Why i did not went to fight to Hilm?  Why did i stayed on Mistone?  I do what i can for help. but now i understand more.  Its her its my family that kept me away from the war. Was it is perhaps that Lance doesn't feel me as i feel Ausir and Aidan?  Its the fact that i am not his blood and flesh?  I don't want to think that way, My parents  always had shown the love for me. same as for Myla. But now i see it.  My duty was to protect my family, I was not at the war.  I was where my father was not during the war . I was there for them. Am I wrong on this?  Its there an answer?  

**he raises his eyes as he looks at Rory as she comes walking his way to the tent, moving her hips as she walks towards him, he does a small note on the journal *

All i know is that I'll be my best to protect her and my family, Its a gift by my lord i have to take care of, Perhaps more wars will come. And Perhaps other time i'll be like my father, but not now.  And that is the big diference beetwen us.

**He sets the book aside allowing the ink to dry and stands to help Rory carrying the things for the night *

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and Pen

*The house smelled to old wood, and at the same time to new hopes, finally a place to call home, bought with sacrifice beetwen friends , Rory and him had used some time to gather the resources, and finally was ready, the roof reparied and the house ready to get inhabited, the couple smiled carrying each of them a small girl on its arms.

Orn and Keira had born one year before, and they had become the shadow of their parents, as the time passes and the boys grow up the presence of the "shorties" as the girl's brothers call them had filled their lives with the emotions that only small girls can give, Argos was still fighting with the idea, he at first thought he was cursed, to have said so many times that he didn't wanted kids and now so full of them, and yet he couldn't deny the happiness he felt to see them growing and develop. Orn was so devout and she was the one who most seek him, she started to pray with him when he had the time more than her brothers ever felt the call, it was something that he may like about his daughter, Keira on the other hand made a perfect match to the one whom she took her name of, Patient and smart, always knowing where to follow and what to do, the only thing that she didn't shared from the Big Keira was her will to speak, she was more shy yet her eyes spoke millions of ideas with a single look. They had the abilty and love from their parents, something that irritated a bit to the big boys. Yet this did not prevented them to enjoy the time together. Argos didn't felt that good that from time to time the boys had to stay with the so called aunt and uncle Keela and SehKy, that place had a lot of issues to him. the room he shared on his past, his Ilsarean issues , and above all, the burning of his room during the dark elf curse that burned most of his past life memories.  Still that Elf was important for his Rory, he had to accept and  trust his wife to be insight as well, he prayed yet that his sons don't forgot the path.  and even if the Ilsareans were not bad people his inner issues won't let that alarm to pass out.But the only thing he could do is to pray.

This was not the time for worrying though, As Argos heard the voice of his sons and the running steps on his back he smiles at Rory and look back as the boys entered the house, all covered in mud smiling happily.

- There is a lake near the house Mom - Ausir yelled .

*Both parents smiled at the boy and nodded* Yes , there is , now you'll be able to swim there if you beheave, for now leave your boots on the outside and prepare yourselves for a bath,  we don't want to get our new house dirty isn't it? *Rory said *

- Aiden stroke his brother arm - Told you. we shold have gone to bother that old man before coming home . - *The brother answered with a nod*

*to that Argos interviened*  - Hey you two, stop bothering Master Shiff please, he deserves some respect, he has been fighting over this land for way before i was born and he is way older than you, the grown ups deserve your respect. What is what those ilsareans teach you? -

- Rory smiles and touched his shoulder whispering to her* Now you are asumming that, They are good people, don't believe you should be putting the blame on them without actually knowing?  - *whispering to his ear, knowing the issues Argos had with the education and the ilsareans *

*Argos nods slowly to his wife to be and addressed the boys*  Now you guys found and prepare your bath. your mother and i would need to prepare dinner and we then have our first dinner here.

*with that the boys moved out of the house to prepare the shower, Argos shaking his head , under the smile of his wife, the Girls just look at the other noticing that they had not the atention of their parents at that moment, they broke to cry at the same time, Argos and Rory look at each other as well and sighing happily they returned their atention to the small girls in order to calm them.*

[Lance Stargazer]

From Argos Stargazer's quill and pen .- Life and parenthood.

*The silence was broke that night, Argos blinked and jumped in emotion as the yell filled the halls, too much used to it to his own liked the man looked even less nervous now, looking over to the door, awaiting for it to open, and to show the allowance for him to in. and so it happened ...

Amoung towels Keira showed her old face thru the door and with an intrinsic order given with a very look Argos knew he had to move inside. there she was his Wife to be laying down with her eyes closed and Myla holding to her new niece , Argos eyes widened as the miracle of life filled his home and family again and ran towards to check out his wife. Feeling the touch of his hands over hers Rory smiled weakly and whispering sweet nothings to her , he rested his head over her shoulders.

Then Myla approached to them and placed the new girl into the mother's arms, they both smiling .

- Seems you have talent to make pretty girls darling - Rory whispered barely and lovely, showing the intense work and tiredness she was having from the hours past

*Argos shaking his head whispering back to her*  Me? No way . I was not even trying  the talent is from the insporiration of our lives, one Chocolated haired girl *said non-chalantly* Just wait till my parents know of this one. Mom is going to get crazy.

*Keira saps Argos head softly*  Leave your folks alone Master Argos , you got them enough problems already.*Argos inmediatelly rubs his head after that giving her a look but removng the look almost inmediately as Keira glared him back* But i did. . *looking up again and then low again *  yes ma'am. .

*The new member of the Stargazer's family, A reddish haired and blue eyed girl bust to laughter changing the crying she had done so far just when he saw Argos and Keira interaction *

*The Family was happy , there was a  good reason to be*