The spreading of rumours, gossip and talking about people behind their back...

[Harlas Ravelkione]

I would like to address something that seems to have become more and more common among some people in our community - namely the spreading of rumours about other players or GMs behind their backs.
  Several times during the past 2 months have I heard rumours and gossip aimed to discredit or in other ways degradecertain people - more than oftenmembers of the GMTeam.These rumours were one and all based on misconceptions and misunderstandings and could have been handled in many ways - all of them better than by a frustrated player spreading a rumour to make up for feeling wronged.
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  I would like to give a few general examples that may result in such rumours.
  1. You are travelling a certain area of the server and suddenly encounter spawns that are not normally there. If things go bad you may end up being killed by the creature/spawn - with bad luck this could result in loosing a soul strand. First of all no GM has ever placed a spawn to outright kill a player. Accidents do happen and when they happen it has always been handled in a fair way through reimbursements. Talk to the GM in question if you believe you were wronged - talk to him/her before letting out steam by spreading rumours. Ask yourself this though: "Did you ever consider that the GM in question was trying to create an event for you and your party, perhaps even start a quest?" or:"Perhapsyou have camped this area too much today/during the past week and this was a hint for you to stop doing whatyouare doing." - The latter is sometimes done instead of an outright warning to keep things IC.
  2. If you see people being rewarded - whether via items or xp - does that really have to aggravate you? Perhaps these people earned everything they got? Consider your sources of information. Did you actually "watch" unfairness take place - did you actually see what was performed to make up for the reward? Did the one who told you the rumour actually see or hear what actually happened, or is he or she relaying a rumour from another source? We all know that things get exaggerated the more people tell the same story. Ask yourself: "What do I get out of spreading this rumour? Personal satisfaction at seeing another person being hurt or frustrated? Perhaps to a degree that makes him/her leave the server? Is that what I want with this, or am I simple being narrow minded?"
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  The fact that this seems to come up more and more often worries me and saddens me. The community has grown, but our maturity has always been and generally remains high. Why do we talk about people and spread rumours about people we do not know personally and really have no reason to hate? Such talk and rumours ALWAYS gets back to the people in question. By then it has been warped and is often hurting moreand causing more frustration than it did to begin with. If people have proplems with anyone in the community, go to them personally or ask the Team to act as mediators between you. Nothing is causing more frustration, outright anger or hurt feelings than this kind of behavior. When it is aimed at members of the Team it causes burnout and it makes one ask oneself: "Why do I do this to myself? Why do I spend hours preparing entertainment for others andperforming duties on the forum and behind the scenes if people seem to hate what I am doing?"
  I know that this behavior is not common among players in our community, but a few can ruin a lot for anyone. Therefore I ask everyone to think about what they are about to do before they do it. Do you really have reason to tell this to someone else? Perhaps this was a misconception on your part? Perhaps you may really hurt the feelings of the person you are going to spread this rumour about - is this really what you want? Should you not address this person personally instead?
  This is a plea to the community as a whole - let us work together to end this sillyness. Many times it is not intended to hurt anyone or cause frustration, but more than often it ends up doing just that.
  Harlas

[Ar7]

This post is absolutly correct, gossip causes only problems and frustration. Yet however you frown, curse, forbid or scold, it shall always remain. Gossip is one of those things that follows people where-ever they go and there is nothing that can be done about. Most people drop the habbit only when they either understand that it is wrong, but they have to do it themselves, telling them won't work, or they face the concequences of gossip on their own skin, then they drop the habbit as well.

People have a built in failure to fail to understand each other perfectly, so for as long as we are human some of us shall gossip. Though I hope that more and more shall drop the habbit.

[Guardian 452]

I remember the rumor a couple years ago that Pankoki and I were leaving Layonara....

Sure wish I had known I was leaving....  LOL  

[Acacea]

They're very draining and impossible to correct. Facts never matter, just how many people have heard it. If someone tries to correct it, they are merely labelled as sympathizers, like having a Witch or Communist target slapped on the back of the head for daring to suggest that accusations might not actually be founded. The fact that most of the time there are simple explanations that are never asked for is a constant thorn in the side. Vicious gossip that you try to retract after you learn the story is akin to pulling the trigger before looking at the uniform--the damage is already done, the stigma is already attached, whether or not it was deserved.

Guardian 452 - 10/25/2006  4:19 PM

I remember the rumor a couple years ago that Pankoki and I were leaving Layonara....

...Eloping? *Starts up the rumor...*

[ZeroVega]

I'm gonna say what Acacea said, only I'm gonna say it a lot shorter and sound a lot dumber... it's like High School. Knock it off.

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

As someone who let himself condescend to the level of gossiping and rumour-mongering, let me tell you this:

Nintey-nine times out of a hundred, the negative things you hear about someone came from someone's jealousy of them.

Perhaps someone's bitter about not being able to level rapidly, while someone else cruises on up the XP chart - chances are that the latter person's working their TAIL off for that advancement, whether you're around to see it or not. Perhaps it seems like some people get to go on more quests? Well, yes. They make time in their schedules; you can do it, too, if you really wanted to (the amount of sleep some Layonarans lose... Oy vey).

Don't let yourself get suckered into spite by a tinge of undeserved green in your complexion. We're all here to play a game, and have fun.

Don't ruin your own fun, as well as other people's, by fixing your mind on the "problems" you think you see.

Just play the game, and we'll continue to get along.