//posted for OOC comedic effect since obviously orcs aren't really that sensitive about war IC
This proof of injustice against my kind. Whenever you people talk about an orc raid, it's always going off to our fort which we put off in the middle of nowhere, in the cold. Come on, nothing even grows there, no cities for miles, we just trying to sit there, in the cold out of sight and still you raid us. It's hard, most of us not even have decent pants, let alone wooly sweater! Look at me man, I'm BLUE! You don't see Moraken leaving his tower to zap us every 5 minutes, do you? No, we have agreement. We stay in his backyard and eat the burglers, and he no bother us. And any time we chase some little babykiller back into the gates of Hlint, you all scream and cry like it was a raid on you. It is not, we just want to keep guy from killing us and taking our cotton. Why don't you try taking on a dark elf city? Didn't they invade Hlint, Llast and Hempstead like... 50 billion times in past 2 centuries? Or how about that big city of dwarfs who killed yer king's daughter and smashed your people to bits? What, is Rael not evil enough for you? We need to maybe give him devil horns, a little goaty beard and stick dead babies on his armor spikes or something before you even fight him once? But nooo, you pinkies buy houses there, pay taxes, thank him for executing your family for saying "bless you" after you sneeze. Sheesh! Closest thing to Hempstead "orc raid" was when a thousand orcbloods built the docks, and you killed or kicked them out too! They were yer own kids, brothers, nephews, uncles, sisters, just as pinky as they was green! Bah!
Grand was right, you pinkskins are crazy! All he ever wanted to do was make an axe and he gets his hands chopped off just cause dwarfs never made one better. We even have a camp next to a grove, just sitting there in the woods and you come and raid us, and for what? All we got is a pit full of puking rats! You want puking rats? Just go into pit! Now you come to blow up our tundra? Tsk Tsk pinkies. Kor is disappointed in you. You don't even bother doing us the honor of eating us! Let heart of warrior go to spoil is desecration, I tell you! Is insult! Kor not tastey enough for you? Me bathe in lemon juice all night long with nutmeg, lick Kor! see? Me am Grade A Primerib! Come, lick the mighty Kor! Lick him!
And this is all for a stinkin helm, a helm made for orcs, by orcs that not even fit you tiny heads! Is too small for giant man too! What you think metal gonna stretch like pair of mocassins or leather pants? You ever consider maybe sending an offer to BUY helm? Of course not. Buy from the dwarfs, smash the greenskins! Typical pinkies. Now you probably all die horribly trying to get a helm thats not even your size. Maybe you buy from the chief, and he measure head and make one that FITS!
-Kor Gromak, orc who all he ever wanted was a decent pair of PANTS!
