Rest in peace

Sorry to post this here, but i just didn't know where else to post it.
All those who read my spell post know i mentioned it.
A good friend of my commited suicide on the 30th of August.
He threw himself in front of a train.....
He was one of my closest friends.
I had seen him about 4 days before hand. We had just recieved out GCSE results.
He seemed happy.......
He had had an arguement earlier that day with he's older brother and he had been having alot of problems with someone, im not sure who though.
I suppose he just had enough.
I really don't know what to do.
I became really good friends with him afew years back and we used to play online games together all the time.
We played Well of souls as Ultima and Omega, we played Runescape as Sir Chris and Sir Craig.......
I feel like i need to cry. But i don't cry, i'm not that type of person......
I was not ready for this. I wasn't expected to lose anyone close to me until i was alot older, in my mid 30's maybe, not at 16.
He was only 5 days older than me for god sake......
I don't want your sympathy, i just needed to get it off my chest......

Why is it that life is such a.............

[Magic Thighs]

My wife's brother killed himself.  When something like this happens to someone close to you, you will feel guilty.  You didn't notice, you did something to contribute, didn't stop him, were not a goiod enough friend to do something.

All of this is normal - but a lot of people do kill themselves - you may learn of a lot more suicides close to home now - and it is definately not your fault in any way.

Suicide is also never a solution (except in extremis) to life's problems.

I feel sorry for you going through exams, leaving senior school, no doubt packed full of normal teenage angst and having a good frioend do this, but at least you are still alive and able to learn from his tragic mistake.

Good luck.

Richard (40 years old - played D&D since 1978 and English though living in the US)

[Falreign]

It's fine with me if you posted that here, though I dont see myself as having much say.
I wont offer sympathy if you dont want it but I do hope other's who read this realise how much pain suicide causes everyone around them to have and understands that everyday they live they are protecting those they love.

RIP Friend of Bryantiza.

[Tordec]

So sorry to hear about that, I have experienced a loss from death as well, and you just have to stick in there. His family and loved ones have my prayers, as well as you and him.

Let yourself cry, let yourself release your emotions.. otherwise you end up with post tramatic stress disorder (or whatever) and it will begin to eat you up inside. Let yourself grieve over such a sad loss, just not into depression

[feniox]

Tordec - 9/1/2005  5:09 PM

Let yourself cry, let yourself release your emotions.. otherwise you end up with post tramatic stress disorder (or whatever) and it will begin to eat you up inside. Let yourself grieve over such a sad loss, just not into depression

Whilst that sounds a little melodramatic, it's a sound piece of advice, you need that grievance, crying helps a lot in those kinds of situations. Make sure you "face up to it" and cope with your feelings even if you don't do it in public, repression makes things so much worse.

I too speak from experience

[Ayreon]

I'm really sorry to hear that. My aunt commited suicide years ago.

I really don't know what to say, this is very sad news....

[Bryantiza]

I know what you all mean, but surely i will just get over it.
I am a pretty positive person....
I know it wasn't my thought..., its he's girlfreind I blame...
I know I really shouldn't but she's the one that made him suicidle in the first place.
He started going out with her around April, may time. They went well for the first week or to. But then afterwards you could see she didn't really love him. He was like a puppy around her. All he wanted to do was please her, yet all she wanted was someone to protect her when she said something that would get her face kicked in..........
I found out from he's girlfriend at first.....
She came to my house and told me....but she did not seem sad, more happy than sad. My brother was outside doing some painting, and after i closed the door he said he heard her say "Doesn't affect me I didn't luke him anyways"
.............You know how angry that made me feel at the time. i have yet to cry but I am starting to accept that he is dead........
I have yet to cry, but I don't have time to cry.
This is meant to be the start of a new life.
I've finished school, I'm now moving onto college and worklife.
It's suppose to be a happy time, a nervous time....not the time to mourn over the death of a friend......

[Bryantiza]

You...i've tried to cry. to just let it all go.
But it appears my well of tears has become empty.
I get to the point were I feel like i should be crying a waterfall of rainbows but nothing.
Not even a single tear...............
why can't I cry? I've just lost a very close friend..... but i cannot shead a single tear.......
Have I forgotten how to?...............  

[Serissa]

You may still be in shock--understanding, but not deep down accepting the finality of his death.  When you are ready to cry, just don't fight it.  Emotional tears are cleansing in the most literal sense.  They actually differ chemically from lubricating tears.

[Bryantiza]

...................I see.....