Star Wars

[Aryn Ravenlocke]

Heh. I'm so hooked on it all I actually went and found a theatre in Baja Mexico that was showing it and took time out of my vacation to go see it. Loved the flick.



YT

[lonnarin]

For what Lucas has improved upon GFX-wise, he has entirely lost in his newfound watered down dialogue, horrible toy market pandering and cast of unrealistic, Hollywood elitist actors.  The 1st time around in episodes 4-6, he auditioned no-names and mix and matched them until he got the ideal chemisty that would help carry the series... Fisher, Hamill, Ford.. all no-names before they came into the works.  30 years later, the 1st actor Lucas was seriously considering for Anakin was Leonardo DiCaprio...  fortunately he "settled" for a younger clone... but the kid's acting and pouty boy under-wear model expressions are just as bad.  

Being a writer, I find it VERY hard to believe that Lucas actually wrote both trilogys.  The dialogue, plot-flowform and complete disregard for continuity all indicate that he most likely screwed some starving writer out of his script in the 70s, and now is forced to attempt the recreation on his own, like a newspaper cartoonist with tracing paper trying to imitate a Picaso.

Seriously... if Anakin built C3P0 and travelled with he and R2D2 way back on Tatooine, why did it take him so freaking long to figure out Luke was his son when he saw the following...

1. The kid comes from my home planet
2. He also lives with the family that my own mother lived with before she died and I went evil...
3. for some reason he has both my childhood droids...
4. why is Obi-Wan "hiding" on my HOME PLANET?!  From ME, nonetheless!!!
5. My name means "Dark Father" in German... where's my kid?
6. HEY!  its that same freakin wookie I met in episode 3!  Let's chain him up and say nothing to him
7. I will torture this princess Leiah with a medical/assassain droid, and never take a DNA scan.. even though she looks exactly like a cross between myself and my ex wife
8. If Boba Fett and my stormtroopers are clones, how come Boba has a different voice?
9. Darth Maul was one amazingly evil and effective beast of a Sith... let's never enlist their species again in my goals of imperial conquest!
10. my arm got lopped off and I got a droid one, then I cut my son's arm off and he got a droid one... then he cut my same droid arm off again...  enough with the arm decapitation already!  aim for the head!

and finally- Midichlorines?  whatch yew talkin bout, Willis?!

Now if you REALLY want some good plotline, play some Knights of the Old Republic.  Far cooler villains... Malak... a name you can fear! not like 'Dooku'...

[regnus]

I agree.  I dont want to do any spoilers here but....SPOILER ALERT!!!! DO NOT SCROLL DOWN IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE!!!
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I can list so many things I hated about this movie but I think one of the main things I was so disappointed about was the lame deaths that the Jedi got.  I mean here you have these virtuous warriors that preserve and defend justice throughout the galaxy.  They are feared by bad guys and respected by all.  They all get shot in the back.  It was lame and I nearly got up and walked out at that point.  The clone troopers must have been using the newly invented weapon: Jedis are all pansies +5 blaster rifle.

[Talan Va'lash]

The thing that killed it for me (other than jar-jar binks) was when the force became some strange symbiotic micro-organism stripping it of all of its mysticism and spirituality and making it something that was measured by a blood test.  Reaaaally lame. "the force is strong with this one." "oh?  Lets check his blood test."

The droid thing is also pretty lame...  I mean, there are like 100 million droids in the setting.  They are commonplace household appliances.  There is no reason at all that they have to be made by the main character 2 movies previous.  It kills the versmilitude of the setting when everything has to be tied up and related in a neat little package like that.

I'm gonna go with lonn in wondering who really wrote the original starwars.  I was always sceptical that it was lucas... I mean, look at his hair!

-TV

[Variable]

But you forget that the Jedis can make a save vs. pansyness

Jedi save vs Pansyness 5 - 20 = -15 vs DC 25

well i guess they can't...

[lonnarin]

Aye!  another thing nagging me was how R2D2 had more advanced technology in the past than he did in the future.  Like I'm really going to downgrade my droid's jetpacks and trade it out for a cattle prod to zap Ewoks with... sheesh!

I think he just examined his market research data and found that every kid already had an R2 toy... but they DIDNT have one that could fly yet!  Let's strap em on!  Retail value 8.50!

If Lucas ever remakes Willow, I'm going on the warpath.  I can just see the changes now...

1. Nockmaar renamed "Mordor" and placed on top of a volcanic mountain
2. Rool and Frangene are now horrible racist stereotypes.  Frangene only speaks in clicks and whistles and throws spears, while Rool has a thick cajun accent and says "ah guaruntee" after every statement.
3. Willow finds out that Burglecut really treats him badly because he's his 2nd uncle's cousin twice removed from the family who was cheated out of the farm land.  Luckily at the end of the tale, the two find out that they are really brothers and go fishing.  While they are, Burglecut finds a ring in the lake, and Willow strangles him to death.
4. Elora Dannan now has a jetpack and can shoot lasers out her baby-butt.  Changing diapers becomes problematic.
5. Rather than simply dress up like a woman to avoid the soldiers, Madmartigan is really a medeival RuPaul.  He calls Willow "Girlfriend" a lot and giggles inappropriately in times of stress
6. Sorscha now is limited to 4 words per sentance and shows 80% more cleavage.  She is also played by J-Lo
7. General Kale is now related to every hero in the story.  He keeps begging for cash and threatens to tell mom on those who anger him.
8. Rather than hang around Tir Asleen all day, the trolls live off in the woods a bit in their own village.  They are all cute and cuddly and help Willow take over Nockmaar castle with their mad tribal booby traps and rock throwing.
9. The two-headed dragon doesn't attack the Nockmaar or Tir Asleen soldiers in the new version.  Now it stands by watching the battle, doing the play by play with cheesy announcer voices the entire battle.
10. Willow is played by Shaquile O'Neil and wears a pair of Reebox that grant him pimpin sorcerer powers..  You can buy an exact replica of them for just 3 easy payments of 899.99.

[Pankoki]

Well I thought the movie was pretty darn good and it closed the trilogy smoothly and nicely. Maybe I'm simple minded? *looks at that statement* No I am not, so let me ellaborate.
  Anakin was a self conceited brat that if he didn't get it his way he would be whining, can you honestly say you would find this trait in another actor choice? I doubt it, both of them look like whiny brats to me.
  Now, I think its fair to say that Lucas has an obscene amount of gold and his ideas are scrutnized by a large staff of wannabe Star Wars fans when they come out of his nobwocket. And thus I am fairly certain that all your complaints about accuracy or plot survival were analyzed and scrutinized by him. Ultimately he made a director and writer decision to leave certain things out, or leave certain things in.
  Of course the story is going to be different from 30 years ago. IT HAS BEEN 30 YEARS!! Do you honestly expect the man to remain the same in that time? His literally skills obviously morphed in that time as well, whether for good or bad, they did.
  Its his blooming story if he wants to have midichlorians or any other weird method of whatever, its how he envisions his world. When you come up with the next star wars then I'll make sure to remind you this when you make an writer's call.
  Truthfully the same argument that springs everytime an old series is brought forth into this century's technology is kinda silly. A lot of things have changed for worse or better and the mere fact that now you get to see further more of the writer had in his mind is simply amazing. Whether you like the outcome or not.
  But I guess I'm simple minded cause I thought the whole story and movie were great. Ah well. I get to enjoy it and you don't

[Pankoki]

Oh and R2 had been through 20 years of misuse... his jetpack blew up along the way.

[lonnarin]

*shrugs*  The plots, story and characters of Layonara dwarf Star Wars.  You're not simple minded, I'm just spoiled.

[Dorganath]

5. My name means "Dark Father" in German... where's my kid?

*checks German dictionary*


um...no.

Dark Father = Dunkel Vater

Close, yes.  But not quite.

[regnus]

I just want to say that I have no problem with the marketing or the fact that Lucas makes an obscene amount of money off of StarWars.  I say if he can make more then make more!    Now, before you read this, this is not a personal attack, but a rebuke of some of your points.  Please dont take it that way.  That being said, continue on.  My beef is that I guess when I saw IV - VI I was a little kid and thought how sweet it would be to be a Jedi.  Jedi were awesome.  Then I and II came out and they proved that they were indeed kick butt.  I mean, regardless of what you think of Clones, that final assault was cool.  It tests the structural integrity of my house hehe.  Anyway, there were countless droids firing lasers all over the place and the Jedi just stood there and withstood the assault.  Then, III comes along and turns the Jedi into these worthless guys who all get shot in the back.  It was such a let down.  He turned the greatest warriors in the galaxy into flunkies.  They deserved better.  As for Anakin, you say he was a self conceited brat.  I agree with you on this.  This is why it made it so unbelievable to me when he turned.  He was arrogant and not power hungry, but wanted to be more than he was.  He was frustrated that the Jedi would not let him become all that he could.  However, to make the jump to killing a bunch of children to me was a HUGE stretch.  If I was given the choice of saving my wife but I had to go slaughter a bunch of innocent children, I can honestly say I would not kill the kids.  I just felt that even through all the arrogance and ambition, Anakin was a good guy.    I am not saying I could have done better, but I just felt a little cheated as I watched the movie I guess.    

Pankoki - 5/24/2005  6:56 PM    Well I thought the movie was pretty darn good and it closed the trilogy smoothly and nicely. Maybe I'm simple minded? *looks at that statement* No I am not, so let me ellaborate.
  Anakin was a self conceited brat that if he didn't get it his way he would be whining, can you honestly say you would find this trait in another actor choice? I doubt it, both of them look like whiny brats to me.
  Now, I think its fair to say that Lucas has an obscene amount of gold and his ideas are scrutnized by a large staff of wannabe Star Wars fans when they come out of his nobwocket. And thus I am fairly certain that all your complaints about accuracy or plot survival were analyzed and scrutinized by him. Ultimately he made a director and writer decision to leave certain things out, or leave certain things in.
  Of course the story is going to be different from 30 years ago. IT HAS BEEN 30 YEARS!! Do you honestly expect the man to remain the same in that time? His literally skills obviously morphed in that time as well, whether for good or bad, they did.
  Its his blooming story if he wants to have midichlorians or any other weird method of whatever, its how he envisions his world. When you come up with the next star wars then I'll make sure to remind you this when you make an writer's call.
  Truthfully the same argument that springs everytime an old series is brought forth into this century's technology is kinda silly. A lot of things have changed for worse or better and the mere fact that now you get to see further more of the writer had in his mind is simply amazing. Whether you like the outcome or not.
  But I guess I'm simple minded cause I thought the whole story and movie were great. Ah well. I get to enjoy it and you don't

[Pankoki]

((Never would I take it as personal attack))
  As far as the Jedi being stabbed in the back. Well they were stabbed in the back, remember before they were fighting robots and were at the ready, this time they were unprepared and trusting of these humanoid. Personally I see no problem with that, the fact that the real nasty Jedi survived was good enough for me.
  Anakin was tainted and corrupted. He was beyond any control of his emotions and lost to the dark side. He was clouded and simply had no idea what he was doing. His reaction was simply out of idiocy. Heh... like I said, conceited brat.

[ZeroVega]

Pankoki - 5/24/2005 9:41 PM   ((Never would I take it as personal attack))
  As far as the Jedi being stabbed in the back. Well they were stabbed in the back, remember before they were fighting robots and were at the ready, this time they were unprepared and trusting of these humanoid. Personally I see no problem with that, the fact that the real nasty Jedi survived was good enough for me.
  Anakin was tainted and corrupted. He was beyond any control of his emotions and lost to the dark side. He was clouded and simply had no idea what he was doing. His reaction was simply out of idiocy. Heh... like I said, conceited brat.
 

    Few comments myself...
[list=1]

•   Nastiest Jedi is Obi Wan. Always has been, always will be.
•   I'd still think that the Jedi would have been able to sense that something was amiss as the bad dudes were getting ready to kill them, but you make a fair point that they were killed by trusted people.
•   You also have to take into account with Akakin, that he was being manipulated and basicly brainwashed by a Sith Lord, and not just a Sith Lord, but the Supreme Chanceller, a Politician! I sware, you can forget about Jedi mind tricks when you get involved with Silver Tounged Politicians, just forget about it, and concerve your energy.
•   And as Pankoki said, who better to play a conceited brat, than someone who really dose look like one to the public?

[lonnarin]

Pankoki - 5/24/2005  6:41 PM    ((Never would I take it as personal attack))

 Dude, we're debating Star Wars...  the dorkfactor alone makes personal attacks fruitless by nature!  I have a doctorate in Vulcan philosophy; such info could easily be used against me as blackmail in the future!  Ah well, the Path of Kolinahr is well worth it.  Even if Leanthar makes me another "Dork's Corner" forum subdivision..

[Dorganath]

ZeroVega - 5/24/2005  9:43 PM
  I'd still think that the Jedi would have been able to sense that something was amiss as the bad dudes were getting ready to kill them, but you make a fair point that they were killed by trusted people.

Moreover, if you have read any of the Star Wars-based novels (Timothy Zahn and others), you will see that there are actually ways to "block" the Force.  Certain creatures hunt using the Force, others can dampen the Force around them (i.e. to protect themselves from the afore-mentioned Force hunting creatures).

That they were trusted is a big thing, because the Force isn't always like "Spidey Sense".   Unless they're meditating or something, they might not see into the hearts and minds of those who are about to attack them.

[Philip of Altdorf]

good guys killing children?

Ah well it does happen all the time.  Good guy goes to war to save/protect family.  Along the way some "good guys" do end up killing innocents.  Old George Lucas' justification for Anakin going bad is lame, but no worse than the rest of his "plot" excuses.

That been said, I love star wars cos it is lame.

And it gives me a chance to have a ramble on a RPG forum about Staw Wars.

*cue the music*

[platinuuhits]

i'd have to say, what was the deal with making the battle droids sound dumb?

[platinuuhits]

i mean i wished they would sound like they did in the first and second movie.  I have to say that i love the old ones alot better, but the new ones have alot more detail and more action and graphics than the older.

[platinuuhits]

I didn't like the fact that he killed innocent children, but lucas had to put that in or else it wouldn't fit with 4,5,and 6. at least mace windu didn't go down too bad in his final battle.

[platinuuhits]

I t be pretty cool if the came out with a episode 8, but if you think of it mark, harrison ,and katie are old now so that would change evrything in the movie.