In dreams

[Locust]

It was there again this dream that haunted me since, I don’t know actually. It just was there when I became conscious of it. The monks have talked about an accident but they can tell nothing of the circumstances, the cause. Heck. These questions I cannot answer myself. But can my past be found in this dream or is it telling me a story of a horrific future? Maybe it’s all a fantasy that only exists in my mind. Anyway my first memory goes back to this ever-present dream fantasy or not.

In this dream there is this chain slowly swinging on the rhythm of my hart, left to right, squeaking when it changes direction. I have the impression it is attached to me but I do not see how or where. Also I can not see it’s end because at one point is simply disappears into darkness. Besides the squeaking I hear a voice singing from far behind me, comforting me as my dream continues.

Then every so often the tension in the chain increases until I feel it pulling me. I try to resist it and I don’t move. It’s obvious that a force pulls the chain. Pulling until my strength gives way and pain enters my body. It feels as if my muscles will be torn apart, pain is immense. I shout, I cry, tears don’t take away the pain only seem to intensify it. I’m a puppet, a toy, to the force pulling the chain, playing with me. Soon after the singing behind me stops and a blur enters my view form behind and overtakes me. It rapidly follows the chain until it is too out of my view and moments later I hear the loud clashing of metal upon metal. Slowly the tension in the chain is released and when the sounds of battle disappear I feel myself again without the pain, in control of what I can do. With the pain gone I see the blur returning quickly taking its position far behind me. And the comforting songs? They continue in a language I do not understand.

This was the ever-present dream I had when I was still comatose and in the care of the monks. By counting the swings I noticed it took longer and longer before the invisible force would try to pull me closer. Until one day I woke up out of my comatose state and the dream was gone, not to appear again even after the monks brought me to full health and released me from their care. But the dream it has come back to me tonight.

This time there were no monks and I woke up on the floor face up, alone. My left hand ached as if it had been burning and the ‘III’ tattooed on it had changed from green to the deepest shade of black. When I touch my hand I only feel the cold sweat that also covers the rest of my body and the blisters that had formed on it. Blankets hang from the bed onto the floor barely covering part of my body. I’m shivering and wondering how long I have been lying there on the floor. When I get up I notice some burn marks on the blankets and when I try my hand on the marks it fits perfectly. This discovery, it leaves me both wondering and shocked at the same time.

~ Na~hani

[Locust]

With his hand still bare and throbbing with pain the caring words of the monks are heard again in Na~hani’s mind.

‘Wear this glove. Don’t take it off. It will protect you from the dream. It will protect you when you scream’

The monks didn’t tell much more than that and after wearing it for several weeks and studying it in detail it became just a glove as any other one. The only thing that made it stand out from any other glove was the silver colored linen around it.

From the start wearing it became a discipline with the monks reminding him every time he took it off even if only for a short period. Through time though he became accustomed to his ‘handicap’ but still some tasks, like some delicate tinkering or applying bandages, had to be left to others to who could deal with it better then him.

But once released the discipline slackened and Na~hani became lax. And so it happened that he wore the glove only during the days leaving it on the nightstand when he went to sleep.

Now remembering the words and with the pain in his hand Na~hani quickly grabbed the glove from the stand. Sheathing it over his hand he immediately felt a sensation through his body. The pain slowly ebbed away and when he lifted the glove slightly from his skin he noticed that the blisters on his hand slowly shrunk and the tattooed ‘III’ regained its original color. After a while the tingling feeling returned in his hand and the cold gave in to the usual warmth.

Again he wondered why, after such a long time, this dream appeared to him again. Was it because he hadn’t worn the glove continuously and was now punished for it? Was it the thrill of the hunt earlier that day, the hunt that got two children back to the safety of the village walls? Was it the fear he felt when confronted by Ogres or similar kind? Maybe it was the spear they found on the body of the Lizard? Questions, more questions drifted to the surface, questions he could not answer for the moment.

[Locust]

Hmmm .. right .. how do I write this down. I’m just not very good at expressing my feelings but this .. the best thing to do is to write it down so my mind can have some rest.

Don’t get me wrong I’m the last one who will be out there killing at random and without purpose or goal. No that’s not me, that can't be me. I to go out there and defend myself and others sure, I won’t be slaughtered without a fight, that’s okay I hope since one has to make a living and I can't make that solely in town. No its something else bothering me and I can’t get a grip on it.

It is the feeling I had when we rescued these little children from a bunch of lizards. It’s the feeling I had again the past few days when I and a few companions were out there traveling towards Port Hampshire. The rush, the hightened senses, feeling of pain flowing away and something, this something, taking it’s place. The will to protect life and the believe that in any being the will to live is stronger than it is to die, is that how this feels?

Some will say it’s the adrena1in pumping through your veins when your live is on the line. No that’s not it. Some will say it’s in the nature of men to defend and kill when one is attacked or a way to search for fame and fortune. Neither. No it lies somewhere else.

But what is it then? I can hardly wield a blade with effciency. Sure I can parry a blow or two but my blade hasn’t ended a live yet. No others more experienced can strike with more efficiency ending lives without much terror. Am I coward because of that? A coward that can not take a life even if it means others will suffer because of it? Should I be ashamed of this? Is this what I feel?

-

When he lays down his notes his eyes simply stare in the distance for a few minutes. After the candle dies down he puls his sheets over him while his head rests on his pillow. It doesn’t take long before he catches his sleep.

[Locust]

*carved in an old piece of leather armor*

Metal upon metal
The sound of battle
Armor is worn
Souls are torn
Blood its flowing
The death toll growing
Victory was it there?
Victory it was nowhere

[Locust]

White, purple, orange, yellow, violet and red, the colors of the flowers that surround me while lying in their bed. On my back I look into a clear deep bleu sky. A bumblebee buzzes in one of my ears as it feeds on the nectar while a cricket is playing its songs in the other.
 
Green in all its varieties, plain, deep, with a touch of brown or black, playful, beautiful and serine. To my left, in the trees, robins are busy collecting insects for their youngsters while a blackbird searches for worms in a moss-grown forest floor. To my right a few wild stallions are drinking water from a pond. While I enjoy the creations of the druids of these lands I close my eyes to take a moment and become one with the solitude of this place.
 
Abruptly the solitude is broken when the earth starts shaking violently. Nature flees and while I try to join them in their retreat I can’t. A force is pushing me down and while I try to scream for help I almost choke and I’m no longer able to take the air into my lungs. Helplessly I struggle while the shaking intensifies with every passing second until the earth cracks open right beside me and I roll over into the abyss. Falling until everything goes dark around me.
 
…..

[Locust]

It doesn’t take to long before my eyes adjust themselves to the darkness. Two silhouettes several yards away from me are swaying their blades at each other. At their feet numerous others lay still, I assume they are dead.
 
As the silhouettes become more pronounced I see both are in full battle dress. A helmet is blocking their faces form view, their shields and armor plating is battered and worn in places and, in several places, unprotected skin is visible underneath. One of the blades is parried by the other as it tries to end a life, retracted and again prepared for another slash coming from the other side.
 
Suddenly the darkness is pierced by light coming from above. Rays of light shoot down all aimed at the striking blade beneath, hitting it in many places. Almost blinded I can still see the blade glowing as it enters the belly of one of the warriors through an unprotected spot in the armor. Following its path through the soft flesh the blade exits at the back probably breaking the spine along the way. Mist envelopes the beaten one and he is lifted a few inches form the ground, his blade falls to the ground as his hand can no longer hold on to the weight.
 
When the striker retracts his blade it comes our hissing from the heat that incorporates it. Fluids in the blood are quickly evaporating and a crust is formed fully enveloping the blade. Once fully retracted the striker lets go of the blade and when it hits the ground the crusts shatter leaving a clean blade still on the ground. The striker takes off his glove and a burned hand covered with blisters is visible. He is looking upward to where the light came from.

While this scene develops a few words are heard from the beaten one now hovering above the ground.
 
“En vanyo somin tu”
 
A soft breeze picks up and soon after the mist around the beaten is blown away and his body slumps lifeless to the ground.
 
With the thud of the body hitting the ground the darkness and the silhouettes on the ground disappear completely. White, purple, orange, yellow, violet and red, the colors of the flowers appear again. The armor around the striker briefly shimmers before it is gone completely revealing a man dressed in a regular pants and blouse that flutters on the wind. He turns his head until his face is revealed.

..........
 
With a shock Na~hani wakes up. His hand, although covered by his glove is again throbbing and painful. He is alone again and covered in sweat this time. And the pain, he hopes his glove will take away most of it so that is again becomes bearable.

[Locust]

Was it a test or simply a trick by the warlock we were after that day?

After receiving some information about the whereabouts of the warlocks tower we were taken to this area near Fort Hope. We managed to defend ourselves against the many giants that populate the area and somewhere halfway through we found ourselves free from danger for a moment.

While the rest moved on I noticed one of our companions stayed behind in the shadows of the trees. I stopped and approached him since it appeared something was wrong with him. When I started to speak the shadows played some tricks on me as they briefly took him away from view, appearing again on the same spot within the second. While I was drawn to this phenomenon the others had moved on and I realized, to late, that I was alone with this companion in this hostile territory. It didn’t last long though as everything went black around me.

When I came to my companions were standing around me. I saw their mouth move as they spoke but I didn’t hear their voices. I didn’t hear my heartbeat and the blood rushing through my veins. It was absolute silence. One of my companions kneeled besides me and performed some kind of ritual. Soon after I heard my heart beating again and felt the blood flowing, my life returned. The sound of the forest and the voices of my companions, slowly but steadily I heard them again. I stammered some words of what I had seen and my companions answered that all were accounted for but that it was me that had gone missing.

Could it be test of Toran to see how far I would go to keep my word and to keep my companions safe from harm?

[Locust]

Another uneventful day on the market, it seems no one is interested in some fine quality rat or badger pelts these days. The other day someone suggested I start a tailoring business but then I showed my hand and he understood that it was not made for such a fine art. I still have some money stashed for the cause in the bank but, without a regular income to support my live as a trapper, it is becoming harder by the day. Luckily the temple is asking much of my time as of late and through them I get to see a bid more of the world while they also provide me with the basics of life, some good meal and pure water.

Then there are the lonely days out there in the wild they have giving me time to think about what it is I’m feeling.  At times I feel so full than at others I feel so empty inside. I walk alone with the wind in my back, I feel it passing my nostrils when I let out a deep sigh. Just like the wind it becomes something casual, you adapt and no longer think about it as something being special. This feeling has not gone beyond that stage yet.

Then there are my travel companions they have to be protected against their shortcomings. I try my best to fill the gaps, I do take the point at the back to cover the ones tapping in the weave and I do support the wounded until we find a place to rest and the priests can take over. I know that I don’t have to be in the front to wield my blade against an opponent. While it keeps me safe from harm it also allows others to better focus without having to worry about a wounded man in the back. I try to do all these little things that have to be done but that no one tends to see.

Sometimes it all gets too much when the group is falling apart. I cannot cover all of their backs at once and I fail in that what I have to do. My word to take care of them and keep the group together it fails and at those times .. yes .. I do feel empty.

I give and I give but how much can one actually give without receiving something in return. To be honest I have received something though. It is in those brief moments I have with my fellow adventures. Those that follow Toran say they know what I’m going through, they appear to be telling the truth and it helps, yet do they really understand what I’m going through. I can hardly describe in words what I experience, this feeling so familiar, as if I had it before, then again so strange.

Their advice all seems to point me into one direction though and that is to pray and ask Toran for his guidance maybe then I can receive a little of what I’m looking for. The answer to my feeling could it be in a prayer? And could that prayer reveal something of my past so that I understand why it sometimes feels so familiar? I guess I’m left with few options now and hopefully my friends at the temple can aid me with some of them.

[Locust]

In one of the walls of the ruins located deep into the Sielwood area an alcove exists. Nobody has ever noticed it since it is covered from view by some low hanging branches and the shadow of a large oak tree.

While resting there with some friends sunlight briefly pierces the foliage of the large tree uncovering the entrance to the alcove. Curious you investigate and find some letters and parts of words hewn randomly into the sides of the alcove. Taking away the dirt and the moss that covers the whole text a pictures of several men are revealed as well. The men all look you straight into the eyes and have their hands folded together while holding an ankh. The text below reads.


We will be there in time of need
And we will fight the evil seed
We will persist in our strive
And we will protect it with our life
We will have faith in our belief
And we will resist what devils conceive
We will turn wrong to right
And we will bring the dark into the light
We will let the prophecy awaken
And we will aid the populace and the forsaken

[Locust]

I will bust your trust not my God
Be as you are
True to me

I pray, I look inside myself and I focus just as people told me I should do when I pray. At first I found nothing until now that is. Trust in my faith, my belief in Toran. It is what gives me the guidance in live, a direction and it gives me something to hold on to in my decisions. It’s all I need from Him, it's all done for Him.

And when I open again my eyes what do I see. A world where trust is fragile and easily broken, people trusting no one and I wonder where they are without trust.

Without trust we would not have been able to find the keys that were part of the puzzle. Gods that still cooperate but what will happen when the blades are found. What will they do? Will trust hold and bring the blessing the world requires or will it break and become a threat to fear. Answers have to be found before it is to late.

[Locust]

From the mist I hear the sounds of armor plating rubbing against each other, a horse snorting, the rattling of a chain. My breathing becomes louder in my ears and deep inside my heartbeat accelerates.`

Appearing from the mist I see a warhorse covered in full battle dress. On top a figure in a black cloak, its head covered by a hood. The cloak trails down along the flanks of the horse barely touching the ground below, form under the hood two red lights pierce into my soul.

Drawing its reaper of souls while he spurs his horse. Coming close I hear him speak

“Mortals will fall, fall on my whim. No one will be spared, no one. Your time will end, your time will come”

I feel him breathing down my neck, his hand gliding over the hairs covering my body. And as the chain is pulled its tension rises.

SHOCK

Another dream starts. Flashes of eyes, a key hanging in midair, light, blades slashing, dark, light again, a name. Synal'dur. Nothing.

Na~hani awakes from another night full of dreams. Gasping for air while his muscles are in spasm and his joints in agony. His glove covered hand burning with pain.

[Locust]

After raiding a bugbear camp you enter the tent of their chieftain. Ravaging through his belongings you find a piece of paper.

Moving forward
From where I stand
Travelling on the endless road
There was no start
I can see no end
The reigns to loose
No longer control
Each step I suffer
A burden I carry
Pressing down on my feet
The torment and the pain
Giving in and stumbling
Falling forever
Realizing eternity
It only lasts so long

[Locust]

I was a content man after I received the written answers from my fellow Toranites. Unfortunately the meeting the followed has not answered the questions we are after. After going through the various parts of the puzzle we have found so far we still have no clues that could lead to the location of the blades or what they can do.

I was lightly disturbed when the good miss Valianne told me the effect the second key had on Synal'dur. It was in one of my latest dreams that heard his name, could it be that I had some foresight into these events and that my other dreams tell me of my future. On the other hand my pain in my hand goes back to my first memories and the dreams can easily go past that point.

On another note I was delighted to hear that Synal’dur was protected from the worst side effects, protected by his blessings from Toran. Should it have stayed into the hands of the stranger in our party, most likely, he would have sold the key to the highest bidder right now.

The keys are now in our possesion but we have no idea how they function or what it is they will unlock. Also the blades remain a mistery both its location, or locations, and what good they will bring to us and this world. The good miss Valianna reminded us of the library that was mentiond by an elven druid we met on the way and of this traveling bard Ozymandias of whom I’ve heard but never met. And then there was this poem where we found a reference to a witch. But its words puzzle me, do they refer to the keys of to the blades? And if it refers to the keys we already found those. Maybe a letter to the head healer will help, I hope the other don’t mind me sending it without them knowing about it.

At the end of the meeting Synal’dur mentioned to me the drow and their soul venom that are currently threatening our world. Him being a drow raised an eyebrow with me but I told him in the past that I judge people on their actions and I haven’t seen anything in him that goes against my beliefs. And since he is blessed by the hand of Toran I can not do anything other then to trust him and his intentions.

For now let us focus on our path and let others deal with this threat at least as long as we can ignore it.

[Locust]

Another friend of mine, Ellendil, cursed by the poison. This threat is drawing closer now that people close to me are affected by it as well. We spend some time in the temple talking with the healer over there but they are not able to help him or alleviate some of his burden. Ellendil also informed me of a deity that should cure him but for the moment this will remain a mystery. I promised to offer him my support in case he needs it.

While at the temple the Healer gave me some of his time to discuss the letter I wrote. We talked about several clues we, Valianne, Synal’dur and the others supporting us, already found, the keys and some information, old history, referring to blades in general.

Sword bearers is what the Healer mentioned, they are in some writings of a battle that took place a long time ago. But I have no recollection of such information, maybe my friends can help answer this question in more detail. We also discussed the old song, the poem from the clan of the bear but since it is not from this temple I probably should not put my hopes to high if we decide to seek out the members of this clan. We should study the keys a bid more. See if they can be brought together somehow or seek help from somebody who can.

I hope my thoughts will not become truth, a thought where we have to side with our enemies. Will champions of both sides take up the blades and free us from a threat? Will we have to put our differences aside to achieve a common goal in order to safe the world from this threat? Bring again order and peace into our cities and towns. If that proves to be the case we might require guidance as I personally feel that we will not be up for such a task. I simply cannot accept darkness in my live right now, I have no idea how to act or what to decide without forfeiting my bond with Toran or my friends. That would not be worth it.

On my way to the inn I could not let go of this thought.  The words of the healer when we parted way “This I must entrust to my Paladins … support them well in spirit and knowledge” still echo in my head.

[Locust]

I met this bard, Ozymandias, yesterday. He was telling my old friend Illin and a group of others a story of the Broken Forest and later some reference to the Broken Halls. A battle has raged there not to long ago, approximatly four to five years. Could it be again a coincidence or was I also somehow involved in this battle. It has been five years since I was brought to the temple of Toran in a comatose state. Anyway I got some answers when I managed to get some questions out. I hope I just have not given to much cleus as to what we are after, I don’t know him that well and whether he can be trusted.

The Broken Halls were once an elven fortress and in it there was a library at that time. The knowledge in the books however is immense and precise details should be questioned to the high temple clerics in Pranzis. One thing was clear there are numerous references to the sword bearers of Toran. Maybe one of them will be the one we are looking for. After going through the story I was surprised to hear that the champions of Toran and Rofirein, together with Coraths prince of darkness have fought as one in this battle for the Broken Forest before. I don’t know if that is an reassurance for me but it is good to know just in case.

Later Illin and I met with several others and it was good to see that Illin has not lost his wisdom and coolness in battle although, as I heard later, he had also been poisoned by the drow. After our trip Illin and Ellendil remained in Leilon to relax after the seavoyage. It was there that my mind trailed a bid and I seem to have lost a few seconds since when I became concious again I was facing the docks instead of my friends. I think they haven’t noticed it though.

When I finaly went for bed, tired and exhausted, words that I had read once came back from my memory. I noted them down just before I blew out the candle.

Various wild animals are regarded as savage beasts
Study them and they will become predictable
It is a weakness that can be exploited
Exploit it and the beast will turn into a docile animal

[Locust]

Asoyo le en mi, mi asi keji mi asi

The cauldron is burning .. the fire is lit .. a hand full of blister aches but remains shielded by a glove taking away most of it .. putting it out.

Wanderers gather .. old friends meet .. aiding those without a clue.

[Locust]

My dear friend Ellendil,
 
Past few weeks the twin blades and the meetings with Cubra and Droog of the Bear Clan have kept me rather occupied. Also I recently experienced several brief blackouts and, according to Illin, I talk gibberish at those times. Let us hope these blackouts will not intensify and that the clues to the member of the Bear Clan will lead the piece of the puzzle that will reveal the mystery of the twin blades.

But I write you this letter for another purpose. It is not long after we last met that I find myself alone again deep in the interiors of Sielwood forest. At moments like this I often reflect upon my recent experiences and lately it is your gift that I refused several weeks ago that has kept my mind occupied. In order to find some peace I prayed to Toran hoping to receive some guidance on my thoughts.
 
It is not long after I finished praying that a wolf appeared from the forest. Our eyes met and for several hours we stared to each other. While looking deep into his yellow eyes I came to realize I may depend on others who share the similar ideals as me without forfeiting my own. Through the wolf, which is resting at my feet, I understand this now.
 
You know that I never will profit from the spoils of war or from anyone else for that matter, it is against what I belief is right. At first I thought your gift was another one of those spoils and I rejected it because of that. But after our discussions, our joined outings and the meeting with the wolf I’ve come to realize that your gift is of a different nature. A sign that seals the bond between us, our friendship, but also acknowledges the bond between our Gods. I will be proud to wear such a gift my friend.
   
Toran is my guide and I will serve him with all my might, may He protect you as he protects me.

Greetings from a friend, Na~han-*a long strike follows as if the letter was suddenly pulled from his hands*

[Filuviel]

*a kestrel land on Na~hani shoulder, with a letter tie on his paw*

My friend Na~hani,

A burden weight on my mind after you refused my gift several weeks ago. I was quite worried that this offer may have offend you and will decrease your friendship.

When we visited the Temple of Toran in Llast after our travel to Lar, I remind that as a Toran worshipper you follow a strict code of conduct and that may explain why you refuse such an offer. Our discussions and joined outing those last days relieve my mind as I understand that you haven’t misjudged my motivation.

Now learning you agree to receive this cloak as a gift from a friend to a friend is a real happiness. And knowing that an example of righteousness as you will wear it in his duty to Toran is an honour.

May the Prince of Wolves watch over you,
Ellendil Ar Calmacil

[Locust]

Tu va asi jema

They bring you terror and nightmares
Allow me to bring peace in dreams
In the end we will sit side by side
There is our future, let it be bright!
Immortal love it will be forever sweet

[Locust]

News travels slowly when you spend most of your time in the forest trapping for game. The monks back at the temple informed me that one of Toran had fallen, not to return and serve Him. I knew him only from word to mouth but even then he was a great example to me, for us all. Who will now take his place? Will it be Synal’dur Hano’del, the black one whom I learned to trust. I don’t question his actions and decissions anymore, his intentions are real and although I sometimes have my doubts I will follow and protect him as far as my abilities will allow it. And what about Valianne? I haven’t been able to make up my mind about here yet, she probably has the same fears as I do. And what about others, there seem to be only few left to take up the blade in His name.

Maybe my new found friends can offer some answers. Ulver when I see him act and I hear his words it is as if I hear my own words resound in my mind. And then there is Brant, I don’t know about him, his words sometimes, some day they will bring him into trouble more than he can handle and then there will be no one to protect him.

Oh, and I have to remember this gift I have for this young girl, Naga, human in nature but wild in spirit. I hope the head priest was able to give it to her. If not I have a spare pouch hanging on my belt just in case.

Now as I pack my bag and ready myself for yet another journey for the blades thoughts weigh heavy on my mind. My recent blackouts will they not obstruct justice, has my time in Pranzis been long enough to keep them under control. Will I be able to stay loyal to my friends, to Toran, when a decission has to be made or am I ready to take over the helm and let my own judgement guide us. I will keep my eyes and ears open, remain vigilant and protect those that I follow.