Journal of a travelling poet

[Meizter]

War is indeed getting close now. The Mistone Alliance has begun to collect things for the war. I have donated all the rings I had in stock, about 80 I think, as well as 10,000 coins and my old sword and bow. It’s not much but still everything helps. Due to war being so close I have stopped the plans of making the orphanage in Leilon for the time being. It is more important to protect these lands, for if we fail at that there will be no need for the orphanage anyways. Perhaps when this is all over I’ll start the project again.

[Meizter]

We had another Storyteller’s Night, this time in Fort Hope. It was ok, but alas we had a very small audience, but of course we did our show. As I once said I would do the show if only one single person came to watch, it is the obligation of a performer in my opinion. We had some new entertainers and they were really good, especially Kat did a marvellous performance, telling of how a group of people went deep down and found the shadows, but I cannot retell the tale as she did so I’ll just keep it here in my memory. Daemon sang a song of the wild elves while Ayla sang the song of Corash, the hunter. All good performances and then I had to close the show with the tale of the witches’ ring, the one we got from the elves and gave to the Sielwood witch.  

Once heroes on Rilara did meet
A winged beast they would have to defeat
For they heard it had done much harm
And in the forest had caused great alarm

At the Grey Watchtower they did wait
While an elf of the beast did relate
They did listen for some time indeed
Then to the hills they went with great speed

They did not the beast find anywhere
But instead they found another affair
An elf did them at Gellon greet
In dire need of aid in his retreat

For the drows had beset his kin
Perhaps revenge for some unknown sin
The heroes to aid the elves ran
Not knowing adventure great they began

They found bodies lying dead and cold
Near the Lake Rillon it of battle told
Onwards to the Delwin they went
Very little time with talking had they spent

To bone hill they searched but in vain
Knowing that onwards did only lay much pain
Then back they went to search for more
Drow at Delwin waited prepared for war

Battle was fierce and many did there die
Battered, still and bloody did they lie
Drow and heroes lay amongst each other
And yet still they fell one after another

Then finally it was all calm again
To wounded elves came to ease their pain
And so most thought the story did end
But good people I ask your ear to lend

For some heroes to Casterly went
Making sure no threats there were present
At the castle they something overheard
Elves speaking of a secret with hushed word

Was the hidden item safe indeed?
Was it the item the drow did now seek?
Where should the thing be hidden now?
So it would not fall in hands of drow

They did then a rumour hear
That elves in Karthy disappear
They were there in a guild of thieves
Guests or prisoners, who it perceives

So our heroes to Karthy went
Seeking information their intent
They found the guild of thieves with ease
And did enter with skill and expertise

There they found elves three lying dead
In a pile on the floor near the bed
But also five swords did they there find
And a mug of the ale holding kind

A map found in the disarray
Through the Bolt Hole to go did it say
Or it did not really speak you see
It was only words written on lines three

Back to Hampshire they did travel
This mystery they had to unravel
What Bolt Hole were they meant to find
And how were elves, drow and thieves entwined

A Halfling to their aid did come
And did of a Bolt Hole tell them some
It was an inn of Casterly south
On way to White Harbor told her mouth

So onwards the heroes then went
But they were not the only ones there sent
Unseen they were watched from the skies
By cunning and wicked impish eyes

They did at the Bolt Hole arrive
And found the keeper of this little hive
He told that two elves did there live
But key to their room he could not give

Still heroes asked him to open door
But wards it had knocked him to the floor
With magic and skill they the door worked
And soon into the elves empty room they lurked

There they only found a small empty keg
Was someone pulling their heroic leg?
Though it did emanate magic strong
And they saw what it was before long

An elven transmutation keg
Only used by elves so swift of leg
It seemed to be broken I swear
For the tap for the keg was not there

Onwards to White Harbor they walked
When the little imp appeared and talked
Wanting the keg they with them had
So its master at it would not be mad

It nothing gained and was soon gone
With blink of an eye it had withdrawn
Finally before them they White Harbor saw
A feeling of hope grew in their maw

But alas the two elves had left
With an elf of town they had moved deft
The elves the heroes quickly tracked
But alas by drow they were attacked

Soon our heroes lay on the ground
Before they it an illusion found
They went on and soon elves did see
Dead and cold on barren earth all three

Under an elf they a tap did find
Yes a tap of the keg fitting kind
Still of drow they did stay wary
Whilst they the three dead elves did bury

They travelled with haste back to Hamp
With the keg and tap wanting to tamp
Could this the real solution be
They wanted the kegs content to see

But alas it did nothing do
They feared they had to start anew
They this riddle wanted to solve
And so the story does again evolve

They left the keg and tap in hamp
Safe they thought it to be in guards’ camp
Alas by thieves it was taken
From Karthy, they were not mistaken

Rumours had risen by this time
A dragon sought this item sublime
It was the black of the battle fens
The imp belonged to him and not friends

So our heroes to Karthy went
And through the thieves guild they quickly rent
They got the keg after a fight
Indeed thieves do not let things go light

And back to Hampshire once again
But one sought the keg to obtain
Beholders and trolls did at them run
By dragon sent as this had begun

Still they to Hampshire did it make
Setting tap in keg all would partake
But alas it did not work still
Suddenly a thought their minds did fill

Ale, that is what we now do seek
Keg, holds our ale safe but with no leak
Tap, from this we get our precious ale
Mug, stores our ale while we tell our tale

One took mug found with swords and map
And held it under the turning tap
Behold keg, tap and mug was gone
They held golden ring sparkling as dawn

But not a ring with elven gleam
It did like the ring of a witch seem
So what should our heroes do now?
To whom should did they dare turn and how?

The ring should to the queen be brought
For it was what drow and dragon sought
If either it had only doom would come
And none would to such evil succumb

At Blackford they with wizard spoke
To Sielwood then under hood and cloak
The witch of the wood should it keep
It would be safe in the forest deep

She did the ring from them accept
With her it is still to this day kept
She did our heroes give much thank
They had indeed done a task of rank

And so the story ends for now
The ring is yet again safe from drow
The dragon will it not either take
It in Sielwood lies in witches lake
 
I think most liked it. It was a good night and I do look forward to our next show.

[Meizter]

Fenrir taught me some more dwarven today, and he seems quite impressed with my skills. I even managed to understand some words and use them to form new sentences. I keep a separate journal for these lessons and I do feel I improve. I use what I have learned at every chance I get, and to the surprise of many dwarves I think. Fenrir even told me how to say I love you, so I could surprise Ayla with that. Oh my will she be surprised when I come and say things in dwarven to her, but anyways more happened today. We met Vigg, who seemed genuinely impressed with my skill at dwarven. I am glad; I so hope, I one day will be able to speak it fluently. Still we decided to go to the Berhagens to see if the rumors of iron there were true. It was not a hard trip as we all fought well and soon we were past Shoufal. But no matter where we looked in the mountains we found nothing, no veins. It seems the rumors were false, but at least we now have checked it out for ourselves.

[Meizter]

Ayla told me today that Abi seeks me for something. It seems she wants to become a shadowdancer as she has always wanted and furthermore wants me to come along. Ayla was scared at this, that I would have to go and deal with the shadows, but as I told her I have done so before and know one of the masters of the shadowdancers. Well know is perhaps much, but we have met on several occations at least. I took the time to tell Ayla of my past experiences with the shadows and I think it calmed her a bit that I have been down this road before.

I wonder why Abi wants me to come along, she is perfectly capable of this herself, but how could I refuse. I have promised her my friendship and I will not go back on my word to her, not again. I guess time will tell what will happen, but I don’t think it should be hard really, just a matter of finding that shadowdancer.

[Meizter]

Perhaps I was a bit hasty when I said it would be easy for Abi to learn of the shadows. It became quite a trek through the planes and everything. First she met the shadow master as I call him in the bank in Hlint, but he said that she was not suited to learn the way of the shadows. So then we went outside town and there she was approached by a man who would teach her he said, but he spoke of balance, balance of good and evil. That of course gave a lot of debate about whether it was right to be taught by evil people. I said I thought it was wrong as no matter what the master apprentice relationship is a strong one and one will influence the other, and most likely the master will influence the apprentice. Still I doubt I got through to them with my point. In any case we went to see a druid as they know of balance of nature and perhaps they could tell more, and to be honest I would do almost anything so we didn’t have to go through the “bad” people to get Abi what she wanted. They spoke a lot with Abi before we then went on to Karthy as it seems she had to enter the plane of shadows and there find her heart. She sought more answers there in the temple of Xeen, it has truly been a long time since I last sat my feet there, not since we investigated the thieves guild in Karthy regarding the missing elves. But onwards the story goes for they told her to find Vlok the Necromancer to get us to that plane. A necromancer for crying out loud, why deal with such persons. Still I went along as I had promised, but as I said to her did that necromancer as much as look the wrong way I would slay him.

We did find him and he sent us to the planes. Not really a nice place, we fought shades without end it seemed and harder and harder they got as we got closer to Abis heart. Finally we found it, in a box locked by black tendrils. Only love could open it, so there we stood all of us and thought about what we loved most in this world and the box opened, and we were in Pranzis. The shadowdancer came to us and told Abi that she indeed had what it took to become a shadowdancer. As I put my hand in my pocket I felt a ring in it, a ring set with a soulstone…Aylas soulstone. How it got there I have no idea, perhaps it was the shadows perhaps something else, but I will cherish it forever.

This has all been a strange experience, but I stood by my word and did what I could to help Abi. I hope she understands that I truly meant that I would be her friend. I’m glad to see her so happy now that she has found Angela. They indeed match each other well.

[Meizter]

*the ink is smeared by tear drops on this page, making it a bit hard to read*
My heart has been torn to pieces. Ayla has been taken by the Soul Mother, at first I thought it a cruel joke they were playing on me as I was in Leilon getting some dyes for my wedding suit. I returned to Hlint I heard Skarp calling me. I met him outside the gates and he looked as if he had seen a ghost. He then told me she had been slain in the Haven Mines. It is as if all that happened next is just a blur. I know others were there with her body in Hlint, I think it was Burr, Skarp, Varka and Abi but I am not even sure. I remember her beautiful face, pale and cold, all life drained from it, but even in death she was beautiful. I took her and laid her body in the bed that we should have shared…

[Meizter]

Why was I not there! WHY?! I could perhaps have saved her, I could have died trying, but that would have been better than this. Why should this happen now, our wedding was less than a week away and now it will be a wake instead.

[Meizter]

The heavens cry. The rain pours down still, and has done so since she died. I have walked the streets of Hlint, but I lack words to speak to anyone, and what I say is misunderstood. Abi now hates me as it is because of me that Angela is going to Haven to slay more ogres. But what does it all matter now, is this life worth living? I am again alone; no one will understand this, the pain that burns within me. Of course they say they understand but do they truly understand…

[Meizter]

Does the gods care for us? I prayed to Aeridin as the rain mixed with my tears but did he hear me, did he do something to ease my pain. It would be so easy for him, a god, he could do as he wished, and so it seems he does not wish to help me. I screamed at the heavens for just a simple sign but nothing. Perhaps I should just realize that I am not worthy of the attention of the gods and perhaps they just think this a petty joke… I do not care anymore, I just feel the pain within me, and it will never end for it is rooted deep within me…

[Meizter]

The wake was today. A lot of people came, so many I know and so many I did not know. All were kind and as we began people slowly began to tell tales of how they remember Ayla. It was hard, never have I been so devastated. I am glad Fenrir was there by my side all the time, he is indeed a true friend, but so are many others. I know they want to help, but they lack the words as Reef said, and I cannot blame them, I myself lack the words for this. I don’t know what to do, it is done now, she will be buried and then there will only be the memory of her left in our hearts. A priest of Aeridin came and spoke of the great circle of life and it did make sense that she has just moved on in the circle, but knowing that still does little to ease my pain. So many offered their help, but what can I ask for, I don’t even know what I need to do myself, I just feel a gaping hole inside me, and I don’t know how to fill it.

*written in blocky letters at the bottom of the page*
Fenrir azrt Varka ‘azga razlat Ayla azrt la ‘aznwa-tzhazhgath urwa Mistone. Ak ath az khaazk ‘urrur’h artaat. Azth k’ao thazat, rururra zhazth poakkah th’akat k’azr ‘th azrt urr k’ath tazo urwa thurhhurzh A kazga ziurlwaurhk ar k’azk th’a ‘azth poaar haziurkrajat azth thurlaurra thrhaziazn. Th’a th’ur’nt poa po’haat ar k’a ‘aznn urwa ‘ahurath ar Willows Weep.

[Meizter]

What am I to do? I have worked all day, cleaned out the house and our storage to keep my mind occupied. Still I feel miserable and hollow, as if there is a gaping hole inside me. I have had a few ales and that have lessened the pain I feel. Makes me feel number, it is as if time just goes by and I stand still here. I don’t know what to do, I simply don’t… perhaps a few more ales would help, I have plenty left…

[Meizter]

Today the Bloody Hands were to go to Firesteep, and I felt obliged to come along. It keeps my mind occupied to some extent so that is good I guess. And then Firesteep, where Thordan Ironheart stood before Fisterion a long time ago. Alas he is here no longer either; death comes fast these days…

We met at Xora’s Tower, and running past the obelisk near there I couldn’t help remembering Ayla and I going there once, when I showed her the mountains on Dregar. I stood there for a moment shedding a tear and then went on to meet the others. They were all waiting for me, ready to go.

Firesteep is a desolate place, only rock, molten rock and fumes are what we saw. Rolf went to pay his respects…to the temple of Pyrtechon it seems. What is he doing these days, going into such places?

The kobolds on Firesteep are indeed tough, but we got by them and to the adamantium veins, but alas not without loss. Angela was struck down and the Soul Mother came for her. Why does she seem to follow me and people around me so? I don’t know what to do, I simply don’t know…I work and travel but I find no joy in it. It is just being, it is not living, but I cannot find any reason to smile for this world is a cold and dark place, a place where only few are meant to find happiness and the rest doomed to die alone in dark corners of the land. I have tried happiness, but it seems it is not meant for me. I should have known! I should have known that I bring nothing good to love, that I should avoid it, for only pain comes of it. In a way it is my fault Ayla died, death and bad luck comes to those I care for, and only few can escape it.

I wonder if time will heal the wounds as Mith and I discussed over a bottle of wine Ayla had made long ago. He saw love as weakness, something that makes us tools for those who will use our will to defend those we love. It was an interesting talk…a talk about love and what it really is…but still I think he sees it different than me. But it did raise the question in my mind, will I ever love again, I think not…

[Meizter]

I guess I am a bad man. I spoke with Abi and Angela today, they so want to help me, but I cannot make them understand that it’ll only bring bad luck to them, it is better to leave me alone, that way no one get’s hurt. They probably think me a fool, and perhaps I am a fool as Rolf once said. I don’t know I don’t know what to say or do, so I work. They call it hiding, but how can I hide from what lurks within me, it is just a way of getting by… I work all I can and then find a little rest on the floor where I once had my chests. Now it is just an empty room, empty as me. I don’t really feel much, just numb. Abi said it was not existing, but still I don’t care, I’d rather feel nothing that the pain that rips my soul and heart apart. I know now how she felt when she came back and I loathe myself for causing her such pain, but at least she is happy now with Angela. They took me to town today so I could meet people and talk to them…but no one was there, they probably sensed the bad things that happen around me. Later we did meet some people, but I felt so awkward with them. They all seemed so happy and carefree and I felt as if I said something it would do nothing good to anyone, so I sat and listened instead. Varka did seem concerned but I told him I would not go do anything stupid like killing myself, I’ll just be here, working and writing this damn journal. What good has this ever done me, I write and write and moan and complain…I tell others to write if they feel down, that it’ll help, it won’t help a bit. Writing this only brings back more painful memories that I’d rather be without.

[Meizter]

It has been a long time since I’ve written in my journal, but I guess I should take it up again, if not for anything but to retell what I have seen so others may learn from it when I am no longer here. A lot has happened since last, so where do I begin?

I have taken it upon myself to help the newcomers in town whenever I see them, as Ayla did, so I in that way can honour her memory. At least here I can help, the undead in the crypts and the goblins outside town pose very little danger, but still I know should I be careless they could take my life as they have taken so many others. Still I like it when someone new arrives here and I take them on a small tour of town and the surrounding area. Some I only see once, while others I see several times over. Still what matters is that they perhaps have gotten a start here as I once did when someone was kind enough to show me around, for indeed it is hard if you’re not used to a life of battle and adventure. Still it is not like the old days, I sat with Abi a while back and we spent the night talking about how it was once, when we first came here. Things have changed, people run by caught up in their own business not like when we sometimes had huge gatherings by the well to discuss events or just tell tales of what we had seen. I guess it is just the times that change, but still it is saddening in some way. Some still like tales though, I have told Abi and Angela several of my tales, and I think they especially liked the one of the servant and the warrior, although it confused Abi a bit I think, how one could win without fight. Speaking of Abi and Angela, I have much to thank them for. It was Angela who took the time to talk to me when I hit rock bottom.

We had been in a cave filled with snakes and elementals and death had come for us numerous times. I got the feeling that it was because of me they died, that death stalked me and those I cared for. When we got out of the caves I told them so and left, telling them they’d be better off without me. They stopped me, and an argument ensued. I will not dwell on that and say nothing but that had it not been for Angela I would have locked myself away forever I fear.

[Meizter]

Ayla has returned. I have no idea how this happened, people say that many of those who were dead have returned to the land of the living. I am happy of course, but I cannot help feeling a nagging fear deep inside me, a fear of her dying again. It will happen, I know it, and nothing lasts forever, sad but true. I will try to get the best out of our time together, but I know what it’ll be like when it ends.

[Meizter]

What irony life seems to have. I was under Mount Norad on Dregar, where once the Cresent Moon and Shield clan lived. Kobal asked me to come, as he asked so many others, and we met at Xora’s Tower and then started for the mountain. Deep below it there was a bloodpool, but between us and it there were hordes of the undead. Such battles as we fought down there, and such traps we had to overcome I have never seen, it was a slaughter at times. I fell, and as I did I started to change. The others told me I had become on of them, the undead, I had become what I so loathe. Such irony. It happened twice, but both times they raised me to once again breathe air. Still I feel numb, my feet and hands are cold, and somehow I cannot get warmth into them. Not that I care much, I hardly feel anything after this, it is as if the cold of my limbs have entered my heart as well. Well it is easier, no pain, no joy, just being, now that I can look at things without my heart clouding my vision I see how this is an easy life, it is just life, and as I don’t feel much I don’t miss feeling anything. But I deviate from my story. I will not retell it all here for that could make a journal of its own, instead I will only state that we did destroy the bloodpool. I guess I am now a hero as I always wanted to be, destroyer of a bloodpool, well helper actually but that is a matter of definition.

[Meizter]

I do wonder these days about the teachings of Aeridin. I don’t feel the truth in my heart anymore, it is simply not there, well nothing is there really, even seeing Ayla only brings a faint smile to my lips, I know I love her, but I don’t feel it like I recall I once did. Perhaps I shall some day feel again, but this has made me see something. If the dead are coming back to the living, and not the dead that are raised but those who are taken to the Soul Mother, then what about the circle that Aeridin teaches of. The circle breaks, is it even a circle if you can go back, at least it is not a circle that turns one way as I have been taught. It troubles my mind, for if such teaching fail, for here it has failed in my opinion, then what, are other teachings failing as well? I know Aeridin teaches us to help and thus we react to things, but what if reacting is not enough, what if you cannot stop things by reacting but you need to act before it even happens. That is not the teaching and it troubles me. We were beset by demons on Krashin when mining gemstones. At first they came at us and we reacted, more and more came, hoping to bring us down, then we went to them, seeking them, facing them in open battle, and thus we won. We won as we at some point chose to act rather than react. I guess I could go into a debate of whether reacting is not all you do, for if you act you must have some reason to act and then what you do is a reaction. But I shall not as this is merely a journal and not a grand work on the definition of these two words. I guess religion is not in the mind but in the heart. Or at least so I come to believe as I now question my faith. Faith is feeling, knowing in you heart, for often the heart is stronger than the mind. I don’t really know what to do, I am a betrayer if I say I pray to Aeridin, for even though I could pray my words would be hollow as I have doubts about the teachings. I shall seek out a priest, not Ayla for she is too close to me in this matter, but another priest with whom I can discuss this.

[Meizter]

I have made up my mind. I cannot simply go on saying I am an Aeridinite, I am not. I have doubts about the teachings; I don’t see it as a truth anymore. A broken circle or perhaps a non-existent circle is what I see. I will give my banner back to the clerics, or perhaps let Ayla have it; I cannot carry it any more. I simply would be lying, and I don’t wish to be that. Perhaps love and feelings clouded my vision for a while, but it does no more. I chose to ignore how my blade defies the teachings, how I sing to kill, how I seek combat, I am so far from what I should be, and for that I should apologize, but I should also take the consequence of what I have come to realize.

[Meizter]

Much have happened since I last wrote in my journal but I think it is time to get back to this. First of all I feel good, I have not felt this good in a long time actually. I’m not entirely sure why but it is that I feel better that matters. In any case there is much to write, or well something at least.

I have tried to help Gloin. It seems the Ulgrids were beset by drow and some foul disease and so a huge group went to help them fight the drow. We succeeded although it was a tough combat. There were so many who could not handle themselves well enough in the combats that ensued, and so many fell to the blades and magic of the drow. It’s a shame when such happens, but people should know their limits and not seek needless death.

Like Storold really…he amazes me. He says that it is cowardly to use a bow, but still I think it’s better than to run up and get killed whenever danger arises. He does however not share my views, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get him to realise how he would fare so much better. I’ll buy him a bow one day. Or a crossbow, that’s probably more his style I think.

I any case Gloin is still ill, so we gathered on Roldem recently to get a Star Gem for his cure. It was dangerous beyond most things I have ever been involved with, but we did prevail in the end against the golems of Eon and the demons that dwelt in that forsaken place. I will not tell more of this and the location should this fall into wrong hands. But still even with the knowledge few would be able to proceed to where it grows, and perhaps even fewer would know of how to harvest it.

[Meizter]

The company is growing rapidly. We are now an official guild, sanctioned and all and even our house in Hlint has been rebuilt, it is more of a castle now. I do like it although there were some differences of opinion regarding an altar between Rolf and Skarp. I don’t really care for it, let Rolf have his altar if he wishes.

To be honest Mist has helped us a great deal, she provides the protections for us when we travel and she provides the enchantments for our blades and brings us back to life should we fall. I have sometimes gone into the room with the altar and just watched. I feel almost as if I can hear the wave’s crash against the rocks of Krashin. I know it’s not true, but I am reminded of home, of how it was before I left for Mistone. Sometimes I think that I am far from what anyone would have thought of me, but also that I have deserted what I am. I remember how I used to sit and look at the ocean and listen to it speaking to me. It drew me in some strange way, but I guess I have learned much since then. It was not the ocean that called it was the Lady Doom calling for me. I have not told Rolf about this, I haven’t told anyone really, it’s something I should find out for myself if it’s true. Somehow I see with Mist what I could not find with Aeridin. She is the storm and the tempest, but also she respects those that stand tall in it, not bending. That is important I think that we should not just bend because the odds say so. Sometimes we must stand in defiance and look the storm and death in the eyes, and we will prevail.

Like when we helped get the Star Gem. It truly seemed like an impossible task but we pressed on, we did not falter in our step and so in the end we prevailed and got the gem.