The Writings of a Paladin

[Shadowblade225]

*The writings in this journal are of the recordings of a paladin - in his own words, his own perspective - while it may appear to be a diary, at times it's much more.  The journal is nicely kept and well engraved made of fine parchment paper from a visual perspective, but this paladin - Michaelis - is seldom seen carrying it around.  The journal begins long after he arrived in the west.  Following his time of judgement, his falling from grace and eventual redemption*        
Sunra: Apreal 17,  1386  It's been five years since my sin. Five years of repentance, five years of constant prayer and meditation away from Dregar and the west lands.  Through thought I question some of the values, practices, morals of my own being.  Was I just in my past actions, was I too harsh, was I too soft...I can't answer.  Not too long ago I took an oath...an oath to Toran which I will always keep. It seems in my travels the world becomes darker..always a misguided soul around with malicious intent...always an ogre or giant waiting.  Even some so called heroes I've encountered seem to care more for their own personal gain or advancement if you will then what truly needs to be done regardless of how difficult it is.          
Mulnari, Apreal 18  1386  I find myself heading back to Dregar and maybe even further west.  I'm not sure yet.  I left this land long ago, gave up the sword for a time being. Fortunately I kept my body in good physical condition but I'm afraid my skill is rusty.  No doubt from misuse.  I've sent a letter to an old friend in Pranzis and she replied generously giving me a place to stay.  I will pray for her..but when I think of it...I pray for the whole world.  I wonder how if at all things have changed since I left.  Did anyone know I was even gone?  I shouldn't say such things...arrogance..pride...the quest for fame...all meaningless.  If there ever was a greater sin in the world it would be pride.  I've seen it in all races...elves, dwarves, and especially men.  Even toranite paladins are not immune for I was once one.  If we do not express it on the outside, it is within...exposed to Toran in plain sight.        
Mulnari, Mai 2  1386  After a two week journey I finally arrived back in Dregar.  Arriving in Lorindar brought back memories of my childhood.  I can still remember hauling cargo, fixing leaks on the old boats, and even pushing old Grisby off the deck into the water.  Boy did I get in trouble for that one!  It seems to no suprise nothing is changed. The quick trip to Pranzis went well, a few ogres to block the path but thankfully by Toran, no one of my traveling companions was harmed.  But neither were the ogres as we lead them away and escaped.  I was with a handful of farmers and I myself with no weapons except an old quarterstaff.  Andrais, a bodygaurd of the king himself offered to store my armorment until I returned.  I shall polish the emblem of my sheild first thing but I do not feel worthy to wear Torans seal.  Not until I redeem his trust in me.            Tunar, Mai 3 1386  It is with a heavy heart that I learn of Quin's death today.  He was a good friend during my many travels in Layonara.  Particularly on the West continent.  Quin was a true follower of Toran and though not a Paladin he would make an exceptional champion.  His heart was kind, his actions just. Toran rest his soul.

[Shadowblade225]

Satari, Mai 7, 1386  Well, following a 1 week journey from Dregar I finally made it to Llast.  It seems more has changed then I originally thought.  Kashi the temple charitor was kind enough to find me a place to stay...in the llast barrack...Toran bless her.  While praying I noticed 3 men, two of whom I recognized as Trenton and Na`hani and a third who's name was Zemik.  When I was finished praying they asked me over for a meeting that was apparently called.  Others were supposed to show but apparently could not make it.  It was here that I learned of the Shadowblade and the drow take over of Silent Watch.  Though not much detail was offered I did get the impression that this is of grave consequence involving the gods themselves.  In particular, it seems the Lucindite followers are suffering because of this evil acting as a so called parasite to their weave.  This troubles me.  The lucindites have offered their assistance in our struggles...a pak...but I must confess I have doubts.  Obviously their motives parrallel to those of the Toranites but I ask, if...and I pray this is so...this shadowblade is recovered and good will be done to it...what will happen to this pak? Regardless, one step at a time.  I shall inquire more about this take over.  The three men have also stated that shadow dragons now dwell in these mountains.  Beings that I hear Remiel Delmir and Syn'aldur fight furiously against.  Toran protect them.

[Shadowblade225]

Sunra, Mai 8,  1386  I do not know what to write only that I must.  Today Toran was attacked.  I can not express in words the grief the moment of intense pain, almost as if my heart was ripped out, that I feel at this moment.  It happened as I was praying and so it seems the others in the temple beside me were not immune.  Some onlookers of the Fort outside the temple mentioned to me that it almost seemed as if two or three constellations collided then the clouds covered.  Apparently their are other beings, a viper who's name I can not recall at the moment and Milara I believe vying most likely for Toran's seat among another god.  If this take over is successful...it must not be!  I can only ask, what can a man do against such beings?  My training however requires me to do what is necessary and I must not hesitate! I will not fear.  I sent a letter to Remiel Delmir and he responded quickly with some new information although not much.  He mentioned to speak to Ozymandias and as I exited the Inn in Hlint where I traveled to, to meet with Remiel I overheard a conversation among a large group including Ozy. From what I heard it is possible to defeat this, but whatever actions need to be taken must be done at precisely the right time and in the right way.  What these actions are not even the wisest know. The gods be merciful.

[Shadowblade225]

Tunar, Junar 14, 1386
  Well it's been some time since last I wrote. It seems alot has happened.  Too much to write about really.  Despite my thoughts I'm still rather weak, and the tests I've been put through are trying.  I have managed to gain back some strength, no doubt from the adventures I've been blessed to be a part of.  Still, a void in my heard I can't ignore. I often look at myself in a mirror or through some reflective surface looking back on these past few weeks.  How was I this week?  Did I do the right thing?  How well did I uphold the codes I swear by?  I'm just not sure.  It seems each one of us always strives for perfection.  The warrior trying to increase his strength.  The magic user learning a new spell.  Lately none of that has interested me.  I know I'm not the strongest or the best in the land.  Let me say I am the worst!  I've always viewed perfection as an unobtainable goal.  Something to be strived for though yet very few achieve it.  I know now that i'm just a man.  I still hold on to the believe that whatever I do is through Toran, not by my own flesh and blood.  I think one has to truly give up their pursuits of material grandoire.  I care little of tales..let the world forget me!  Perhaps I'm just mumbling.  But these are the thoughts I have.  I will always wear these simple robes overtop my unpolished armor, the hood over my face until i've earned his trust in me back. I must always be aware not to earn his trust to merely seek the power he's granted me as I've seen others do.  No! Toran is the all watching.  Let him see me not as man of power, but as a man or humility who will sacrifice himself for the smallest child regardless of what race that child belongs to. To be strong against the growing evils of this land even if my body can only hold out for a fraction of a second.  Perhaps that may turn the tide for good in this land.  It cerainly can't hurt.  Either way, Toran I pray to you in words to grant me the wisdom while unworthy that I am to know the difference between good and evil as the line is seldom clearly drawn.

[Shadowblade225]

Tunar Junar 28, 1386  As a quick reference today I made some purchases of various items.  Hopefully these will aid me in battle against Bloostone or whatever vile force I cross.  I am still weak however, I have no power and even less to give except my own human heart.  I must admit the heart is a powerful ally. Will it be enough I wonder.  Thankfully, with all that has happened, it seems the war against blood has been tipped favorably.  It seems that when I was aiding (albeit reluctantly) Longstorm by leading a group of good men to protect him from Bloodstone's on slaught of demons and other cursed creatures, others were fighting the war on a different front.  I must endeaver to learn more.  So much had happened it's difficult to keep track. However I feel it my duty to do so.The items I bought, material in nature while necessary, I expect their impact to be minimal.  Especially in this age of war among the gods, dragons, and men.  I've seen the followers of the corrupt gods, Sulterion and Corath grow, along with Xeen and Mist.  They follow a fools path yet sadly are content in their ways.  There are a few shady individuals I have my eye on.  I've already informed the city gaurds in both Pranzis, Hampshire, and Lorindar, of them.

[Shadowblade225]

Jular, Threas 7, 1386  Well this is a new place to write.  Corax lake at sunset.  Quite beautiful and peaceful really.  I've heard the one called Rhizome lives in that house perched on the island across the lake.  I'll have to make a mental note to find him as a lovely druid in the high forest mentioned it would be good for me to learn about the great oak.  Interesting history these lands.  I've spent most of my life in Lorindar and a fare bit in Pranzis.  The west lands still seem to have their own advantages.  I'm still amazed how many adventures seem to pick Hlint as thee place to hang their hats.  The Wild Surge Inn is nice and the hostess always polite, but still, what draws them to that small town, i'll never understand.  It seems more can be accomplished politically, or by force in the greater city areas.  Still, Garent and the quartermaster seem to do a good job enforcing the law there.

[Shadowblade225]

*he writes this in a plain wooden/hay matted bed late at night with a single candle burning, the air is still through the small window with the view of Fort Llast in the forefront*  Threas, Jular 14, 1386  Well tonight was an enjoyable night for once.  I met a traveler named Hyell in Hlint who was a fellow Toranite.  I could tell he was a humble man and he asked to accompany to the temple here in Llast. Though good conversaion I could tell he seemed to be burdened, almost stressed about something.  I suppose I can relate though I don't know the nature of that troubles him.  When arriving in the temple Quantum was there to great us and we all had a good chat.  I felt unity even though Hyell's troubles were evident, still I felt almost at peace if not for an instant.  I relished the feeling though it didn't last as I know the road that lies before me.  And this went doubly so as I know the path before both Quantum and Hyell may be just as rocky.  Still I pray for them, and while my voice may hold little weight to my lord because of my sin, and because of his dealings with snakes and I mean the dark evil foul wretched things that attack him, I still pray and call out to him.  I do hope for redemption in his eyes not for my own sake..for perhaps his power though me, not just physical, through spells and blessings, but also through wisdom and courage, that I may fulfill his will on this world.  We will need it with Bloodstone plotting.

[Shadowblade225]

*he sits on a bench in the temple of Toran in Fort Llast as he writes this*  Sunra Jular 17, 1386  Well it's late as I write this *he yawns* but I have much to write about.  Quin is alive.  I was walking toward Hope when I saw a figure of an armored man bearing the symbol of Toran.  I always feel some comfort in seeing another brother.  Especially one I haven't met before.  It tells me the ranks are growing that's a very good thing.  He was hooded at first but then he took the hood off and my jaw almost dropped.  I couldn't believe it! An old friend back from the grave.  He said he didn't know what happened to him.  I asked to continue our chat somewhere else as we were beset in an ogre infested part of the forest.  Unfortunately he had other plans.  Needless to say it was good to see him.  Quin has always been very open minded.  This can be both a blessing and a curse.  Still, knowing he's still alive I think of Naga and Mirren.  We were all friends back years ago before I left to begin my repentance.  Now all but Quin remain.  One more then I thought I would see again however so I must look on the bright side.  Following Quin I helped a young squire named Kharl.  We traveled for a few weeks together to Dregar and back.  I showed him Pranzis, particularly the castle and citadel.  It seems he never traveled this far before.  I could tell he was amazed at the size and grandoir of the city.  I myself was amazed first time I saw it when I was a little boy.  I had the pleasure of speaking with an old friend Andric now the kings bodygaurd.  We shared some old memories then I showed Kharl a few more places.  I left him there to train with the militia.  Kharl has a good heart but he doubts his abilities.  He's afraid he'll get hurt in the war.  The war against Bloodstone.  We swore our lives to the fight against him and all other evils.  Death is inevitable.  Probably why i'll never start a family.  Same thing I was talking about with Hyell.  I don't want to enter the battle field burded by a wife and children to worry about.  That would only slow me.  I dare not have the heart to leave my wife a widow, my children fatherless.  I know how it feels. *he sighs*.  Another encounter today.  Derrick Loadson.  A man I haven't seen for some time.  We fought together many times years ago when we both found our way to Mistone.  Side by side we had some good battles together.  Unfortunately Derrick became very chaotic.  I worry about him.  Toran punished me for traveling with him so evidently he saw something I didn't.  I'm not surpised.  Praise be to the all watching.  Needless to say I didn't make the same mistake twice.  I dismissed his chaotic manner.  Our words to each other were cold, his mocking to me, mine criticizing of him.  I do not hold hatred with him, though we parted and I felt a bit...I wish to say embittered but it was more like I had the urge to pray for him. Still, we all must choose our own paths. This is the path I choose here and now.  I will honor my oaths and if Derrick stands in the way of law, order, good, I will have to treat him accordingly.

[Shadowblade225]

*he writes this in the wild surge inn shifting in his seat every once and a while keeping an eye on all the drunks*  Tunar Jular 19, 1386  Well I recently had the pleasure of helping a fellow Toranite Quantum in his quest to earn status among the church as an undead hunter for the shining hand.  I respect Quantum's decision and in fact admire it.  These abominations have hindered travelers since the dawn of life.  Whenever life exists death most certainly follows and wherever a soul has not found peace it wanders.  I can't say how many times I've had to escort people across the forest near Fort Hope.  They call it the broken forest for a reason I suppose. *he sighs*.  Regardless, now two that I'm aware of are taking the path of the shining hand.  Quantum and Trenton.  I shall endeavor to help both accomplish their goals.  Toran be praised.

[Shadowblade225]

*he sits down in the barracks of Fort Llast with a feather quill pen and the book of his writings*  Satari, Augra 6, 1387  I just had the privilege of being entertained at a new Inn opening in Leilon called the leilon arms.  The atmosphere was inviting and the locals were well behaved yet entertaining and pleasant. Oddly enough Derrick Loadson is the owner of the establishment.  Quin is the manager.  Quin puts his faith in Derrick and I myself must admit it's nice to see Derrick in an honest trade.  At least I'm hoping it's honest, but I trust Quin would have no part in the deal lest it was.  Maybe this will calm Derrick's chaotic nature *he taps the tip of the pen with his index finger thinking* Probably a fools hope *he sighs a bit*.  Regardless I wish those two my best.

[Shadowblade225]

Satari, Augra 13, 1387  *Michaelis lays down on a bed in the Hotel Layonara clearly tired.  He puffs the pillows up, pulls out the book of his own writings and a feather quill pen which he had just dipped in fresh ink.  He begins to write, then thinks for a moment putting the book and pen down, he looks at his right hand, clenches it, opens it, mumbles some words - his hand begins to glow slightly and pulse through his body.  A faint golden glow.  He smiles and picks up the book and pen and begins to write but first he says out loud....*.   "Praise to you the All-watching, the Great leader."

*He writes* Today the church gave me a task, a duty to perform.  And a most difficult one at that.  There was a considerably large group of bandits attacking the area around North Point.  A few weeks earlier the high council sent a paladin to investigate.  This paladin never returned.  It was thought that he was dead but rumours began to circulated that not only was he alive but he himself was responsible for leading organizing these attacks.  Hence the church sent me.  The healer mentioned that the council knew I had lost favor with the divine watcher.  But apparently through my own suffering and deeds that favor was restored.  Hence I was chosen to oversee this mission.  I had a group of good men with me who willingly volunteered their time, and their lives to help - Rurik Kessel, Quantum, Dorax, and Gloin.  The traveling was dangerous.  Once we reached the serpant mountains the bandits were alerted to our presence and tried desperately to end our lives.  By his will and grace Toran protected us and saw us through.  We were able to dispatch them and continue on until we reached North Point.  After talking with the locals including a boy named Karle the horrible rumours were proven true.  Apparently a Toranite was leading the way. We tracked him to an old underground Tomb where his lacky's fought feircly.  Thankfully we managed to stop them all.  The paladin on the other hand - was most difficult.  I told him his rights - he did not care to listen - he seemed almost possessed.  An asumption that we later proved correct.  Finally after subduing him we took him back to pranzis where he is recovering in the Citadel.  We feel he was under mind control and as such I do not know how the justiceers handle the case.  Apparently the bandit raides have ceased, but whatever's controlling him is still out there...and I need to find it.  But I must admit my joy, a deep pleasure in knowing my lord finds favor in me again.  The church viewed this as a test and I must have passed.  My words have wieght again..my hands can heal, my sword can sting as well as cut.  This was perhaps the hardest lession of my life...the most difficult task I've ever done.  But to say I learned is an understatment.  I removed the robes and the hood I wore in humility for so long, folded them up and donated them to a healing house.  I polished my old armor up, my helm.  They fit perfectly.  I must always strive to remain humble..yet enforce the laws and conduct I swore so many years ago. But I know now that I can not do it without his strength.*He closes the book, places it and the pen on an end-table near him.  Blows out the long candle that's giving a faint dim light to the room. The room goes dark and only a light here or there can be seen outside the window near his bed.  All is quiet in the capital.  All is peaceful.  He drifts to sleep.*

[Shadowblade225]

Freas, Oclar 14, 1387  For the past few months I've spent my time overseeing negotiations between two factions regarding trade of various sorts.  I thought these negotiations would never end.  Finally both sides came to an agreement.  I suppose I helped in the matter because an old friend was also enlisted to oversee the proceedings.   Lorindar will profit from this no doubt but I couldn't care less about that.  What matters is that the deal was fair for both parties involved.  It's a pity I forgot to bring my book as I left it in Pranzis. I was just simply too busy to retrieve it.  Regardless I've been out of touch with the war on blood.  I'm choosing to head back west to the temple in Llast to aid in the cause.  I'd prefer to remain independent of any militia group - I serve the church, which is Toran.  He will guide me.  Additionally, I'm sure the healer there will let me know of any who are in the know.

[Shadowblade225]

Threas, Novlar 11, 1387  Today was rather unnerving.  I was in Velensk talking with a cleric of Aeriden when all of the sudden I was wisked to the old tower near Krandor.  Before I could even see where I was however all I saw was black, then all these visions appeared.  Four, which I'm declining to write about here, though I intend to discuss them with the other Toranites.  I was not alone in this, because when I became aware of where I was, there were many others just as confused as I was.  Unfortunately, the group I was with was rather anxious, spouting out and rushing to conclusions and jumping ahead.  Something tells me communication is key however and until this group learns how to communicate in an orderly fashion I'm afraid we'll never understand what we saw.  Lady Reventage was there - someone I haven't seen for some time.  She seemed to be able to command attention albeit with effort.  We thought that the shifter may have been responsible for these visions - what they mean, we still do not understand.  Yet when one in the gathering of people affected by this vision attempted to approach the door of this old tower where the shifter supposedly resides he was killed instantly.  Plenarius who was there insisted this wasn't the shifters style.  Something's amiss here.

[Shadowblade225]

Freas, Novlar 18, 1387  Well I'm a bit belated in retrieving my journal from Llast.  I left it here again by mistake.  I spent the last few weeks on Dregar in an emergency mission decreed by King Waylend personally.  Tibum has fallen to Bloodstone's forces.  Tibum's naval might was overpowered by the armada of ships Bloodstone sent.  I fear the worst.  The seas now are almost completely in Bloodstone's control.  I informed the King of the situation with two other comrades Trenton and Syn'aldur though I did most of the talking.  Another group has traversed to Blackford castle to speak the same news of the then attacking fleet to Queen Allurial.  Allurials appearance at our own meeting no doubt implies she recieved the message.  The king has asked that we spread the word the Waylend wishes to mobilize his forces and prepare for the worst.  No doubt Dregar is the main target, particularly Pranzis.  

I'm still baffled about the intrigue of Hlint.  Many who are more in the know then I am are convinced of Hlints strategic location.  When I asked myself why, some heard me apparently volunteering that most Heroes come from Hlint and that it was a simple answer.  Was it?  I suppose many of the faces what have been active in this war spend a considerable amount of time there, but I see no advantage in an inland dirt town other then a mere station for minor military affairs.  *he shrugs to himself* So be it then.  I do understand the significance of the attack on Velensk however.  The fort was able to hold thankfully by the grace of Toran.  My brothers successfully defended it.  If Velensk fell, then Bloodstone would have complete control of the passage way to the Dragon Isles.  I suspect future attacks.  For now I'm willing to bet these coastal port towns are the major targets.  Cut off the trade, you deal a major blow to the country's economy.  This is a minor reason, but one that may make a substantial impact.  There are others two, more important.  It's basic warfare, something Bloodstone seems to be brilliant in given his attack pattern.

For now, my efforts are to continue to gather information, to do what I can to aid this world.  More specifically, I shall contribute what I can to the Mistone Alliance.  Resources are scare, but the people of not only Mistone, but Dregar are doing exceptional jobs in their donations.  I was impressed with what I saw in Pranzis and Hlint.  I've spent the last few days before I arrived back west, helping a blacksmith gather supplies - doing a bit of manual labor.  The people seem eager.  But at the same time *he sighs* I saw terror, fear, anguish, or worry in their eyes.  They are scared and they have good reason.  Even the king himself was perturbed by the news regarding the size of Bloodstone's fleet.  Still, we must act.  Everyone is involved in this war even if they've never handled a sword.  We all must do what we can.  Let us pray it is enough.

*He closes the book, looks out the window of the barracks overlooking the temple in Llast.  The air is still, but cool.  The liutenant goes about his paces conversing everyonce and a while with another gaurd or two or a civilian who happens to pass by in the late hours of the night.  Michaelis blows out the candle next to the bed he lays on, and trys to sleep.*

[Shadowblade225]

*While looking through a chest containing some of his old belongings he pulls out this book and with his usual stern stoic face, finds a feather quill pen and ink, sits down, and begins to write.*  Freas - Janra 13, 1394  Well, I'm a bit belated in this - let me sum it up for record keeping. One paladin is a drunk embarassment, another is being led astray, and another who's womanizing escapades have finally been made know through adultry.  My thoughts on Remiel were correct, though I don't believe I've mentioned them here.  He has fallen thusly.  Good riddance.  I suppose I should be sad or upset and upset I am.  He was an incredibly powerful fighter, his use as an ally would prove of immeasurable value.  As much as I would like to see him live up to his reputation that the other folk have given him, I don't see it.  His heart is without purpose.  I truly hope I am wrong in this.  My anger however is justified.  The church for the past few months has been filled with disgrace.  My mood has settled from this long ago - this is not new news.  I organized a meeting, ripped into a few whom I would hardly consider fit to bear the ankh and things seem to at least be somewhat improving.  The defiling of the church makes me sick.  Toran can not be happy.    My efforts however have been focused on matters equally, if not more important as of late.  The war.  We've managed to collect enough funds to make sure the alliance is well equiped.  I've put my job, which was bestowed upon me by the church in pranzis as overseeing the building of a courthouse, on hold.  This is more important.    *he grips the quill in thought - a stare or daze, his face becomes angry and he snaps the pen without thinking -  ink goes everywhere*  Damn. *he cleans up the ink and begins anew*.  I seem to be losing my composure as of late.  I haven't snapped at anyone yet, but I sometimes find myself tempted..to judge them.  I have no right to judge them, nor anyone.  I'll leave that up to Toran.  His will be done.  But still...I see so much debauchery, so much evil.  If I were to receive one wish...I'd wipe some of these wretched creatures out of existence.  Corathanites...putrid filth, Demons..the same.  I find my time idling by in towns and cities doing menial tasks somewhat and often frustrating.  Yet I know I have neither the skill nor stamina yet to handle some of these vile creatures.  Giving my life here would accomplish nothing.  I must always remain productive for the greater good.  Often times I find myself commanding a small group, and the choices become harder.  I just wish I was strong enough..to walk alone..to destroy all the corruption, all the evil I see or know exists.  I wish I had the strength to simply walk down into the layer of a Lich and destroy it.  I will not torture ever, but sometimes I am tempted to rip these creatures apart - if only I were capable.  Sometimes I am so close to snapping it blinds me.  I must never be blinded. I often find myself meditating on this.  I feel I'm quite capable of controling myself, though often I need to let out frustration.  One time I took a swipe with my bastard sword, took a giant oak tree down with one shot with a then dull blade, no doubt to the dismay of druids.  *he prays this aloud*  "Toran, though you do not rule nature such as Katia I ask forgiveness for this lack of composure.  No one has ever saw this, but I know you know me well, see my actions, see my heart.  Please give me the strength of will.  What is your calling for me my lord?"  My purpose I feel, by the oath I swore long ago is simple.  I must defend these people as I always have.  This is something I will never waiver from.  The child held by its mother - such a beautiful site, it brings me anger to see them scared.  I wish them never scared, never frightened, I wish them happy because they know they are protected.  *A single tear rolls down his eyes*.  I will never have a family.  I would not wish that burden on them, for there will come a time where I may give my life, but if it is for them, then I would do it ten times over.  Let the world raise their own...and let me do my job......my duty.  *he shuts the book and places it back in the chest*.

[Shadowblade225]

*Sailing the seas to the westlands, on a great Galleon vessel,the waves crash lightly against the hull,mild rain pours, and a slight breeze blows on a cloudy winter morn. Michaelis sits below deck, his shield and armor laid carefully to the right of the table he is seated at. Still covered in dried black blood are these items, but most especially his large sword. Dressed in leathers he unravels some rolled up parchment papers, which will later be tucked away in the book containing these writings....these thoughts. And so he writes....*
  Mulnari, Janra 23, 1394
  Let it be written of the journey a small group took through the broken city, past the desolate wastelands, to the dark tower, down tothe planar hells. Xandrial has left this world...for good I hope. Never have Iventured intoa place of such evil, suchhorror then the journey we took. The group was strong, Kobal Bluntaxe, Plenarius Ashley, Alantha, Lady Reventage, Athus the cleric, and many more including the bard. We were tested toour very core.
  We set out from Arabel for the Demon mountains. Through the barren planes, slowly weaving up the mountain where the air brought a nightmarish chill, and the smell of decay began to linger. This was soon replaced by searing heat.Incredible giants of which I have never seen we fought wielding swords larger then the giants I've fought on Mistone. I have never encountered such resistance, such foes. But stronger were yet to come. We managed to defeat them, though many of us were wounded including myself. We tried to rest, but few could sleep. Some had nightmares, others were simply too frightened. By the grace of Toran I did not waiver in this fear. It made me push on, even though I knew the demons we would battle would be beyond my grasp.
  I made sure this group had a plan. Our first objective was to retrieve the necklace of souls from Xandrial, as we were told my Moraken he mightpossess it. We need to return this necklace to the shifter but taking it from Xandrial would most likely prove deadly. Apparently this necklace allows one to imprison souls and use them for power. Kobal mentioned another demon, more powerful then Xandrial in Xandrials home realm. This demon, I can not recall his name, nor could I even pronounce it, dwells in one of the deepest planes.Kobal went on to tell of this demon and how Xandrial wished himdestroyedso that he could rule the plane. I suspected that Xandrial would leave this plane, leave Bloodstone, to rule that plane if ever he had the chance. It was made clear to me by Reventage that despiteour strength we stood no chance againstXandrial on this plane. But bargain with a demon? Iwas vehemently against this and I made that clear. But for the greater good, bargain we must. When I reflect on the nature of this bargain however I see little problem with it.Help Xandrial rid that plane of this other great powerful demon so that he will leave this plane and give us the necklace. But trust a demon? I was very worried about this. I will never trust such filth.Why couldn't thisdemonuse his army of minions, enter the plane and do it himself? I learned later, Xandrial is weaker in that plane and I doubt no mercenariesof hiswould be so brave.  
  It took us many days and nights, but eventually we reached the perimeter of Xandrials layer. It was here I fell for the first time. These creatures, evil and wretched they were, cut through my adamantium armor like it wasn't even there. I'll have to make a note to get it mended upon my return.Ioften ask Toran for the power he gives my other brothers, power of light and hope, strength and protection I often see with Syna'ldur, and once saw with Remiel. Though I am redeemed andmy soul is wished by him once more, I am seldom as effective in combat as his other paladins. I pray that one day I will be that light, that strengthso that I may do his will, crawl into those pits, such as the ones we sawthisjourney, and know that my body is protected in his light. I can not protect the weak and uphold the right, when I myself am not fit to handle what my other brothers can - even those that have not the experiance I have.
  We entered the fortress and there must have been hundreds of demons. Thesounds we heard were nothing short of melevolent and bone chilling. Never have I felt a place of such evil.Many of us died here. Most that did not fall were left to raise those that did only to fall again. We had to retreat, but eventually after enoughpersistance we breached the inner wall of the fortress where another battle ensued. Battle after battle, there were deaths on bothsides. I atleast managed to wound and kill some of these creatures. But they were too powerful to take on in large numbers. So we did the best we could, and thankfully it worked. We pushed and pushed until finally at the top of the dark tower, their stood Xandrial waiting. It was as predicted. He knew our exact plans and was essentially sending his minions"to greet" us. I would have liked nothing more then to have slayed him right there, but the power, that dark power I felt was astounding. So I at the wisened glance ofPlenarius stood myground. Kobal was having a harder time restraining himself then Iwas, but in theend hewasvery much for our bargain. Xandrial agreed - well actuallyhe essentially told us our plan. He told us the other demon possessed the necklace we seek. Moraken hinted at this earlier though he didn't know for sure.
  So off we went yet again, to this other plane where this demon dwelled. The resistance we encountered was less than expected. There were few demons, mostlyelementals -though they had incredible power.A few fell, most notably Plenarious andKobal. Eventually as he movedthrough this plane, the oddest place I've ever seen, we encountered the demons. We entered a corrodoor which wasessentially a maze. We foundour way after going in circles a few times where we encountered the demons again and eventually this great demon. The horror of this demon surpassed Xandrial even....and it didn't help that when we tried to rest we had nothing but nightmares of this creature.Therefore some were not well rested yetwe foughthim, fought him with all that we had. With all the strength I could muster I thrust my bastardsword into the demon. It was enough, though I think Toran's hand guided me. The demon fell, and within secondsaportal appeared, revealing Xandrial who immediately took the necklace from the fallen demon.A long silence, ofwhich I haven't heard since I departed on thisjourney, fell.Here we were....and here Xandrial was. Would he keep his word? He took the necklace, with all the tormented souls, whichseemed to rise in command to Xandrial and stood over us.I grabbed my sword, the instinct of lunging toward him I had to supress. He looked at the girl, Lia and handed her the necklace and it seemed as if we could all breath again. Suddenly the place erupted in chaos. Demons slaying each other. They had a new master and Xandrial showed it. He becamemore powerful with theslaying of thisdemon and he tore through the other demons.We entered the portal and I couldn'thelp have a satisfactory glanceif only for a moment inall the carnage. Good. Let them destroy each other. Let the hells collapse on themselves and ridus all of their wickedness. I have said it before, often times the greatest enemy of evil is itself. Someday, I hope,I pray, I will be on that list.
  I wonder what will happen to Xantril now? The nations should no longer speak that name. No longer will I speak of Xantril in that sense. But from what I understand Bloodstone resides there. The land hasn't been clensed yet and this war is far from over. Bloodstone's wrath will be terrible, and the people of the nations must unite stonger then any of which that was recorded in the history of these lands if we are to prevail. I believe in these people, I believethey will do that, and I willdo what I can to ensure it. Let him come.
  *He thinks of all he left out,shakes his head and rolls up the parchment placing it to his side. Leaning back, Michaelis picks up his blood-stained shield and begins wiping the blood away. The ankh underneath becomes visible again.*

[Shadowblade225]

 *These are not writings, nor are they spoken aloud for anyone to hear. These are thoughts to himself and they occur during the battles in the Great Rift against Drezneb's forces. Through constant bloody battles, the weary group has a moment to rest. Silence and peace are seldom found here with the constant whaling sound of the Whippoorwill. Yet to him, his mind is preoccupied. He hears the sound, horrid as it is, but his thoughts dwell on himself. Often times, there is no greater critic ofa paladin than the paladin himself........*
  I fell once, almost many times this day.The protections that others offer are quite valuable, but still....how am I to be a shining example of Toran....how am I to be a protector of the weak when often times the people I am trying to protect have to constantly save my life? It is as if they have to watch over me, like I'm more of a burden, a consumer of healing spells, kits, and other protections, nothing more. I may be hard on myself and I don't believe they notice..but I do! My must I be so weak! Yes, Michaelis..I know there will be times whenothers will need to come to your aid, but I find it quite frequent....too frequent. I strive to live according to the oath I took....yet I constantly find myself having to run from foesthatother less experianced folkwould smite. Toran..I know I should not desire power..but see my heart..see my reasons...I wish to be stronger so I may serve you better. It seems I'm not even worthy of the respect others give to me.A few have commented that I am the leader ofyour church...yet should not a leader be strong? Is this even true? How am I to protect Aranna. It seems whatever I do, there will always be some wicked arrogent people who have to prove they can surpass or beat anything I set out to do. I wish I had the strength to fight off these creatures...these demons, undead, and wicked people. I know the strengths of traveling with companions..yet it seems that I am theweakest link far too often.
  *He changes thoughts momentarily*
  I have no special items that I see others wear, Iknowfew prayers to you that would give me these divine protections...yet I spend most of my time helping the temple. Am I greedy?
  *He clenches his fist*
  Get agrip Michaelis...you have done some great things..you are not as weak as you think. It will do no good for me to sit here anddwell on these thoughts.
  *He sighs in frustration at himself and seeing the others rested and suiting up, he does the same, grabs his sword and shield, kisses his ankh, and heads out..the stench of death is strong.*

[Shadowblade225]

*Michaelis is seen riding on white horse through the Forest of Mists following a long journey back from the east. His pack carrying hisgnawedand gnashed armor, blood stained helm, and dented shield strapped tightly to the steed. This ride is a cold one...a lonely one. He wears garmets of fur and leather, his bastard sword strapped to his back. The wind howls in the once lushwoods. Now..with the darkened sky, the leaves fall around him. There is less foliage on the ground and the once enveloping forest ceiling is bare and exposed. A chill is in the air to the point where you can see hisbreath. It is night...late night or early morning...hard to tell.He rides to Pranzis..his belovedcity that he loves so much...and has many thoughts this hallowed eve*
  *A small family, a man, a woman, two children are seen in horse and buggy heading in his direction. They look haggared, solemn, and worn down. Their filfthy clothes, their facial expressions...it looks as if these poor folk haven't even eaten in a few days time. The child is seen clutching a half eaten stale peice of bread as they ride closer. No sound is made from either party...the only sounds heard are the "clop-clop" of their mounts and the howling wind"
  "clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop"
  *Michaelis looks at the boy as the family gets within a 100 feet...a single tear falls down his face...he whispers to himself*
  "I thought this was over. I thought I could rest now. But I can't. Why do we suffer like this?"
  *Michaelis fishes through his packs...two dried rations and three filled canteens...he stops in the middle of the road..the family must stop as well or they'll both collide. Michaelis hears soft whimpers comming from the back of the wagon. The family is worried when they see him*
  "Please sire...we gave em' all we had. We don't have anything left cept the clothes we wear. Don't take em. I've got two little girls here and a sick mother. Please don't take anything. We's was already robbed twice this day" said the father in a frightened tone.
  *Michaelis sighs. He then pulls the amulet he wears bearing the ankh of Toran out from under his shirt exposing it.*
  "He's a toranite! Oh blessed be! Will you help us sir? Please say you will!" the mother cried.
  *The two little girls eyes light up, but they are tired and they do not rise. One little girl tugs at her mothers worn and torn dress*
  "Mommy...what's a toranite? Is he gonna hurt us?" the child said.
  "No no dear...at least I pray not. He's one of those men we see...saw fighting the other night with those monsters. They were protecting you." themother replied.
  *Michaelis gives his rations, keeping a few crumbs for himself and two of his canteens to them. He tosses them to the fatherwho praises him for his generousity. With a worried tone the paladin speaks...*
  "You were robbed?"
  "Yes sir...we can't go near the capital anymore...or what's left of it m'lord. Looters and robbers have taken the city and we's couldn't hold em. Demons and devils everywhere!" theman said.
  "No more devils daddy! the girl cried.
  "There there...we be safe for now luv. That mean old Bloodstone has fallen...hasn't he sire?"
  *Michaelis smiles ever so slightly and nods, then glancing at his gnarled shield*."Yes..he's gone. You need not fear him anymore."

[Shadowblade225]

*He says goodbye to the family giving them coin and telling them to make their way to Lorindar. He then heads off to Pranzis galloping as fast as he could. As he approaches nearer and nearer the sent of soot, smoke, and burned debree is in the air. Smoke rises over the hilltops approaching the path to Pranzis. He grits his teeth and rides faster and faster. Two bandits jump out of the bush startling the horse momentarily that it jumps back*
  "Aye what have we here...ye look like a rich fella...how's about you hand over that nice sword ye got there*
  *They've got arrows pointed at him, but other than that not too threatening*.
  "Be gone! Lest I arrest you two!" sayeth the paladin
  *The bandits look at each other and laugh* Arrest? There ain't no law here anymore...now ye gonna be a good little boy and hand over some o' that stuff or we gonna have to kill ye?
  *Michaelis pulls out his bastard sword and frowns angrily* Fools!  
  *The bandits are taken back, but one fires an arrow, which Michaelis knocks down easily, then as the other pulls out a longsword and approaches Michaelis, the paladin turns the sword gripping the blade and smacks the bandit on the head with the hilt knocking him clean out. The other bandit is taken back in fear*
  "I suggest you both leave if you know what's good for you" he says to the one bandit still conscious.
  "Ey now, easy..we'd not be meaning anythin' of it. A man's gotta eat ye know and them animals be running out o' da forests lookin' fer food..takin' ours."
  *He drags his friend away and Michaelis continues his journey to Pranzis. As he approaches the city wall, once mighty and splendid, but now rubble...his face is of sorrow*
  *in a whisper to himself* By Toran what has happened here? The temple!
  *and he rides off to the Toranite Temple.*

[Shadowblade225]

*Michaelis returns to Lorindar where his steed was kept. Mounting it he begins the trek back to Prantz where he heads to her home. She's not home. He went alone this time. The journey was eventless, but his mind preoccupied none the less. As he returns home he doesn't enter just yet. Rather he sits on a bench near Haft lake and thinks aloud. Whispering a prayer or perhaps his own ramblings. But as he speaks, he looks directly to the sky.*
  Was this right? What should I have done? What could I have done? We live in a lawless world and yet I struggle, I'm torn, I've seen the worst of law. I've seen the worst of it.
  Toran what's going to happen?
  What should I do?
  And then there's her.  I love her. I can't let her go.
  So many fools in search of power. So many fools in this world! So many daft to the light. And yet his death...I should have stopped it. No...he wouldn't have wished it. He wanted to die. I saw it, he told me so. Perhaps this was the right way. His time is past.
  *After a long pause* I pray he has you Navarre.  I pray you're with him.
  Some say he paid his price with his life.
  Help us Navarre.  Help me. I need your strength down here.  You said you served him.  Then help us.
  Tormand kicked out. He should have been. Ortheus was right. Though it's clear outsiders know the conflict fully now. They all witnessed it. I felt weak there. I didn't know what to say. Kicking the justiceers out of the church. Why must I be so weak. I agree with it, but I could do nothing but stand there, not sure of what to do. People always expect me to have the answer.  
  The plans I have.  What should I do? Navarre? This church is falling apart.  
  Why did you do it? Of your own free will. I idolized you. I still do. I always will. In the end you paid your debt, you showed why you were the first. It was not the court that found you guilty. It was your conscience.
  So many are blind. What you were, what you are now, is something I'll always strive to be. What should I do? Why did you do it?  
  No one will ever desicrate your body again. No one will touch your remains. If I have to fight a god I will. I'll die, but if it shows you what I...what Toran is willing to do, then so be it. But I still serve this world whether these people want me or not. My time isn't done. When it is, how I wish to see you again! Oh how I do! I pray I do. I pray brother. You are brother to me. You always will be. Always.  
  Toran take him back. But I feel I failed! *he looks down upon the water, vacantly staring with intensity*. These people forget. Help us! *he grits his teeth*.
  And what about her? The only crime of love is distraction. I don't know what to do! What should I do! It used to be so simple, so black and white. My job was clear.
  I know what it's like to fall! Perhaps we share something in common. Perhaps.
  Tempered steel. If that's the case then Mithril pales to you. Make me stronger! I will not let this church fall. I can't. I won't! Help us. Help me.
  And yet her...
  She's all I think about. No! I should cut my emotions off.  No...I shouldn't. *He rubs his temples like he has a headache, scratching his chin - a beard has grown there.*
  I feel empowered by her. She doesn't know it, but I do. I see darkness in this world. It's all I see now. All I ever see. Except for her. I see no darkness. I see only hope. She looks upon me with such love. Such hope. I see her. I watched her change. I watched her become stronger. I watched her serve the cause. She would deny it. She would say otherwise. But she does. Perhaps she does so for me. It matters little as long as she does it.  
  What should I do? Help me Navarre. Help me. I've seen what you were and yet I will never stop trying to acheive what you did. I can't! I won't.
  Here I am.  Toran help me. Help us all.  Here I am....
  Here I am...
  Here I am...
  Show me. Show us. Show me the way. Give me the strength to carry on. Help me.
  Here I am...
  *The rain begins to pour as it always does near the Lake. With the temperature, the rain is like ice. His breath is seen, but he does not move. He stares upon the lake, unmoving...listening...listening to the rain...the only sound...the only sound heard...just rain. The sky is black, but he stares off, stares off to the sky...looking to where Toran's light would be.*
  Here I am...
  Where are you? Help me.
  You've come home.  I know you have. You're home now.
  Here I am...
  I'll not let us fall.  Not now.  Not ever.  I can't.  I won't.
  But what can one man do...I need strength...they'll come to my aid. Loyal they are.  None more than she.
  *He leans down to pick up a dying flower growing underneath the bench, that must have managed to bloom despite the harsher climate*
  What should I do?
  What should I be?
  I love her. I always will. I can't leave her.  
  I will not let them suffer.
  I can't.
  I won't.
  I won't.