Author Topic: Room for rent. In a tree. (Read 1505 times)

Synpox · « **on:** September 07, 2005, 03:38:00 PM »

*takced in the Wild Surge inn, the card emporium*

I have one furnished room available in the High Forest for monthly rent for a trustworthy, considerate, respectful individual. Theres adequate storage, comfortable bed, plenty of shelving, and a reliable teleporter. If interested in seeing more and discussing rates, look for me or the mephit here playing cards. -Aleister

*near the bottom in smaller print*
These individuals need not apply: orcs, ogres, drow, paladins, thieves, very angry people, people shorter than me by more than 2 feet, clerics, giants, bards, druids, barbaric people, people with nervous ticks, people that fall down a lot, blue haired people, people that dont like that old people smell, Turor, the inquisitive type, the type would would ask "whats the strange noise" then barge into my lab, people with very large cats, people with bears, people with all other animals, animal people, drunks, fanatics, busy bodies, people that stare, people that like pie too much, friends of Turor, hippies. Thank you. -Al

Crunch · « **Reply #1 on:** September 07, 2005, 05:56:00 PM »

*posted in a neat hand beneath Aleister's note.*

I know you have been adventuring for quite a few years Aleister and you are set in your ways, but don't you think this might, possibly, be a rather restrictive list of restrictions? Perhaps a short note saying grouchy old fart seeking buxom young mage for room mate and light housekeeping would be more on target.

Esimond

Synpox · « **Reply #2 on:** September 07, 2005, 08:08:00 PM »

*scribbled over top of Esimons reply*
True. That would have been easier on the wrist and eye. But what if this buxom young mage that came calling was in fact a drow with blue hair accompanied by a cat that stared at my pies? I felt great need to avoid that encounter. Thank you for your concern, Esimon...
-Al

Turnsy · « **Reply #3 on:** September 07, 2005, 08:18:00 PM »

*written in fine penmanship underneath*

How much are you asking per month?
Oh and do I get a discount if I have never even heard of Turor?
Xanthialus Everflow

Diamondedge · « **Reply #4 on:** September 08, 2005, 01:07:00 AM »

*Turor reads. Turor gets angry... Turor tears the note down and eats it. Turor writes a new one* The mage doesn't want a room mate. Go away. He'll experiment his spells on you. Turn you into a newt. How do I know? He has to me! And I shrugged it off. You can't, you're probably not a dwarf. You're probably an elfie. Go away. ~Not Turor

Turnsy · « **Reply #5 on:** September 08, 2005, 01:52:00 AM »

*scratching head*

Hmmmmm.... What happened to that room? Guess it must have already been rented. Ah well maybe there is another place out there for me and my studies

Diamondedge · « **Reply #6 on:** September 08, 2005, 01:53:00 AM »

*tacks a picture to the note after a while...*

http://www.layonaraonline.com/forums/photos/show-album.asp?albumid=264&photoid=4115

Dis be wot 'e do ehn 'is hoose!!!

Ar7 · « **Reply #7 on:** September 08, 2005, 02:18:00 AM »

// This is one funny topic!

Synpox · « **Reply #8 on:** September 08, 2005, 05:24:00 AM »

Quote

Diamondedge - 9/8/2005 4:53 AM

*tacks a picture to the note after a while...*

http://www.layonaraonline.com/forums/photos/show-album.asp?albumid=264&photoid=4115

Dis be wot 'e do ehn 'is hoose!!!

*Aleister walks in, happy, ready to play some cards, stops dead in his tracks as he looks next to the door at his defiled message, and the happy goes away. He looks at the poorly drawn stick figures left by Turor. He stares at them for long minutes, the regulars in the card room exchanging nervous glances. Except the children... who seem to think its funny. He tears down the picture muttering to himself and takes out scroll and ink and starts rewriting his original message, then tacks it back up in its place. On his message, 'Turor' and 'Friends of Turor' is now in bolder script, circled, underlined, all with arrows pointing to them. Aleister turns and examines the faces of the card players.*

"What? Never seen a funny little doodle before?! Just play the damn game!

miltonyorkcastle · « **Reply #9 on:** September 08, 2005, 06:25:00 AM »

/////// holy mother of!!! I'm laughing so hard it hurts..... oh it hurts.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

cappyra · « **Reply #10 on:** September 08, 2005, 06:39:00 AM »

*Writes below in neat print

Leilon Arms Inn and Tavern will happily except applications from all those not eligable. Please see the Leilon Arms Flyer for more information. You may also send a message to Derrick or Kali.

*Written hastily below

Only one exception

*Draws a line to where it says 'Turor' and 'Friends of Turor' in bold script, circled, underlined, all with arrows pointing to them.

Diamondedge · « **Reply #11 on:** September 08, 2005, 11:39:00 AM »

*looks at Derricks little addition and snickers*

Wunner eff 'e's gort enneh dahgs a moight chew orn...

*scribbles underneath Derricks note*

Well then, lad, I see you're still upset about the whole puppy-eating-issue. Let me assure you it is well within dwarven tradition to eat. Anything. By turning me away for this, you are cramping my cultural heritage and as such, ought to be ashamed. I daresay you might bring your Inn to ruin by doing such things!

~Okay, this time it's Turor

Diamondedge · « **Reply #12 on:** September 09, 2005, 06:19:00 PM »

*has thusly killed the market for the room in Al's house. Being proud, he walks away. Towards his 'tree house'. Carrying an axe. And a torch. Yaaaay.*

Synpox · « **Reply #13 on:** September 11, 2005, 09:07:00 PM »

*All other replies save for the original and Derricks are disintigrated, a new addition tacked beneath the two remaining*

This Room. Is still available. Plenty of space. Plenty of storage. Plenty of privacy. Protective griffon neighbors. Plenty of anti dwarf wards. Nice garden. Two weeks remain before I gut the room and expand the library. To hell with tackin replies here. Send inquiries directly to the house, so that I know Turor and his legion of faulty brain cells can't interfere.

*signed sharply* -Al ¤

//PM's

Hellblazer · « **Reply #14 on:** January 17, 2009, 02:56:58 PM »

//GOD! that just made me laugh so hard.

Skabot Redwolf · « **Reply #15 on:** January 17, 2009, 09:05:34 PM »

*tacked to the wall two feet below the note is a scrap of paper*
-If you're five foot five or shorter, I'll take it!
-Willy Catpaw

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #16 on:** January 17, 2009, 10:01:05 PM »

//You realize this is from 3 years ago, right?

Lance Stargazer · « **Reply #17 on:** January 18, 2009, 12:08:02 AM »

//good funny threads like this are as funny as the day it started. I think..

I laughted really hard with this one.

*he looks waringly for Turor*

Hellblazer · « **Reply #18 on:** January 18, 2009, 12:46:58 AM »

//I was about to post "blue hair, hey he's talking about Lex there ain't he?" Until I saw the date of the thread that was a bit before Lex creation hehe.

lonnarin · « **Reply #19 on:** January 20, 2009, 05:25:22 AM »

//This was so long ago, *I* was GMing at the time! I remember seeing Turor, Aliester and Derrick there, and I decided to have a little doberman puppy come up and interact with them. And then the crazed dwarf Turor decided to eat the puppy raw. Instead dead puppy, chaos and evil points for him. After Derricka nd Aliester just about cleaned the floor with him, Derrick footed the bill to have the puppy restored to life and adopted him to the Leringard Arms. Thus began the life of "Sinthar's Bane". Toby, who Acacea now plays also came from one of my quests there. He was not ever eaten by a dwarf that I remember, though he did fall off the courthouse balcony while trying to throw stinkbombs at people.

Fun times.