Benderson's Log

[Red Monkey]

Tunar the 22nd, Noviar.
My recent arrival in Hlint was calm despite it being reputed as a den of chaos.  Yet even the ocean has its days of quiet and I can assume even tomorrow may bring it own versions of storms.

Hubris likes the foliage, sniffing about looking for imaginary prey when allowed to.  It will be a welcome change to allow him more time to roam, Spellguard never being the safest place for him to wander freely.  I would not hazard to say this is a lawless land but it will be telling to see how the denizens size me up.  It was him and him alone that kept me alive in the local cemetary after I began a simple exploration of the smallest crypt for the local undertaker.  After I had foolishly assumed a quick contest I found myself bleeding badly on the crypt floor.  Hubris destroyed the two undead in haste and proceeded to lick my wounds, most likely saving my life.

He lives up to his name and will always remind me of my greatest weakness.  I dare not think of what I would do without him.

I hope to find a cleric of Toran in the area, I hope that my daily excursions and work will begin to answer my questions of the future before I face him or her.  I have a choice to make I need some tempering before hand.

Sleep beckons and I answer promply when possible.  A sound sleep is the cornerstone of health as always.

[Red Monkey]

Wedlar, 23rd of Novlar.

As I had surmised the storm that is Hlint broke today.  I found myself with many errands and only myself and Hubris to tackle them.  Meetings everywhere I went but all of a "higher order" and useless to me for time being.

Then opportunity came upon me in the form of Ifion, a local bard.  Between the two of us I was able to hunt down the Ratman of the Undercity and not without some cost.  There was a horrible amount of my own blood left down there but the void did not claim me this day.  Ifion proved to be quite informative regarding the local area of Hlint and as of today I have the location of the local temple to Toran, Joyus news!
Not only was the local tax agent generous with thanks but the funds allowed me to repay Ifions kindness by purchasing a spell scroll.  The price of which, with no haggling on my part, turned out to be less than the local merchant would charge!
Was he doing me another kindness or do the local merchants keep closer ranks than I had thought?

Later he became entangled in preparations regarding the search for his lost family, I was happy to help for such a cause but alas my expertise was like gossimer in the wind.  Time was not wasted due to my introductions to some faces that I had seen earlier, and now I have names....and an occupation or two.
I was also able to jot down some plain spoken dwarven, more information for the future.  I would think Victor or his compatriots may be disposed to teach it if the price or cause was right.

Then came the true storm:  I had made the tactical error of going into the local crypts with a woman named Sund (shortened) and dour companion named Mollar.  There was no teamwork....or rationality as it happened.  Our accomplishments were borne of desperation and luck, I had hoped to lend some order...and intelligence to the sojurn but I ended up visting the void while the others suffered from disease and the taint of the undead.

Damn frustrating.

Soon the crypts were abandoned for helping them finish thier hunt for the ratman.  (Are there more of his ilk? Or is he an expert at feigning death when defeated?)  We were fortunate to encounter two more helpful adventurers with a more martial bent.  Like a plague of chaos we swept through the sewers and into the lower chambers...I was able to harvest a large amount of pelts, meat and even a Dire rat skin before we were done.  None had the inclination to use what was left at our feet and soon I found myself facing returning rats as the group left in the same confusion it began in.

Not a good day for intelligence and order.

Yet with all this shouting and running about I found many lessons learned, spells mastered and plans continued.  With some study I can state I have achieved the third circle, an immense leap from this morning!
It would do to begin the process of bending these "harvested" items to greater use and I intend to start that process over the next few days.  It would be nice to begin making my own components for vital spells and have enough funds to purchase a sword fitting my continued training.

Yes, the longsword calls to my arm like a favored incantation.  It is natural and right in my hand and I continue to feel the skill pulling me to another calling.  My dreams have been full of light and confidence.

I must reach that temple and test what is real versus wishfull thinking.  I *will* be judged.

[Red Monkey]

Threas, 24th of Novlar.
The day starts as any other, in utter disarray.
Despite a calm morning of review and some fine biscuits trouble was surely on its way.
I decided that pursuit of more creative arts would suit the morning fine and set out to gather the proper materials.

While collecting cotton and some hardwoods I discovered the local tower and its owner.  The enchanting equioment was of excellent design but it's owner was less than courteous, no doubt due to his constant work.  Quickly back to the woods I encounted orcs...Hubris and I did well against them but while I was tending to the panthers' wounds more of them came from behind.  We both tasted the void today.

Despite that setback the rest of the day found many gains in resources and I even found myself enjoying the simple work of clothmaking and tanning.  I encountered some odd periods where I had to repeat my actions....
further question of the populace may shed light on this phenomenon.

We were able to finish the collection of Scout trophies...Hubris and I changed our previous tactics to great effect.  The ending was in peril though, what I thought was a local ranger and his bear burst onto the scene and barrelled directly into the goblin camp.  Madness!  Greater good or not we could have all been killed.  Following his path back to town I saw nothing but carnage, even the the birds had been left to rot.  I can see why I have not seen a priest of late or have seen one speak up.  If one charged for services thier pockets would be bulging with this madness in the streets!  Thank heavens they do not.

I have now seen the mercenaries surrounding the area, avoidable but still there, waiting for trouble.  I was surprised to see halfing ones on the way to Fort Llast.

Finally to the temple of Toran the center of the fort.  A tidy area surrounding the strong forms of Toran's house.  Inside was no different, the feeling of safety was all about me and I set about binding my path to the location.  I could have stayed in reverie for hours....
I communed with the healer there regarding my longtime feelings for the clergy and thier path but was not able to get a hold of anything solid.  I was advised to stay the night, perhaps this could be a beginning.

I hope to find an answer soon for I cannot travel too far down this path until the opportunity will be lost I fear.

[Red Monkey]

Mulnari the 28th, Novlar:

Days have passed in silence.  Broken once in a long while by the local priest giving me my water and hard bread allowance.

It was kind of him to allow me this conceit, I felt it was necessary to fast and to wait for my heart to make up its mind.  He had a spare cell available and I had no loose ends to deal with.  Keeping my affairs minor as usual made the decision easier.

Last night my dreams moved off the pedestrian path they often wander.
I approached an altar with alchemical equipment set upon it, the equipment had stained the stone beneath and cracked it deeply.
Will this path ruin my spirit?
WIll I need to abandon the weave?
Or do I always need to be conscious of the balance needed to maintain the path?

I suspect it is my uncertainty playing on my mind, so soon too.

Vigilance will be maintained until an answer comes from inside or out.

[Red Monkey]

Freas the 2nd, Decilar.
  So much information has flooded to me this day and not by means of prayer and reflection.  I have been enlightened by my fellows in faith at the local shrine of Toran.
  For the safety of all of them I cannot commit this to paper but I have learned much of prevailing attitudes, personalities, events and opinions.  They are warriors and I am not but that difference has assisted me instead of hindered.
  I am done with my fasting and I fear it was a indulgent action, I must regain my strength and move forward.  COncentrating on the simple work I need to do will be beneficial for the community, myself and any companions I may work with in the future.
  I will have my answer soon enough but in effort, not repose.

[Red Monkey]

*Current Date due to real time and world time being...offset*
  I have finally left the temple of Toran to regain my physical strength.  I never desired the gifts of an oracle but I sense that the future will be overfull with potential soon.  The air is charged wherever I go, Hubris feels it as well and leads him to impulsive acts.  He is a reflection of my spirit and I must keep a sharp lookout for him as I always do, he is no wizards bodyguard or plaything as I often see.
  Hlint has been relatively empty as of late although this may be a short term circumstance, I have only been back for a day.  Not seeing the normal activities does cast the town in an alien and discarded light that affects me more than usual.  Only the actions of the people bring life to the world, without an observer all is simply very compicated art.  The seasons could continue in our absence, the animals continue thier existence yet I suspect the world would all be autumn...waiting for a mind to regard it even in a primitive state.
  I have dwelled upon the meeting with the Paladins for some time and it worries me.  They are the chosen of Toran and *do* practice the way as they should, with specialties according to thier natures.  I reread the general scriptures of Toran, I familiarize myself with the laws of the land once again and find it rather easy to merge the two. There is little conflict that personal choice cannot resolve, putting aside the very real temptations and war that rages at the borders.  Unless a keeper of the law it makes little sense but to show oneself as another person who holds certain standards...bringing in the accumulated opinions that make us unique paints us in a brittle light I fear.  Then I wonder what they dream of after a days battle or clearing the path for quest or simple assistance.  Is there a future for al of use when I hear us addressed as Toranite instead of our given names....even in deference it sounds like an intended insult. 
  Do I have the wisdom for my dream of priesthood or should I train as the warrior I was built to be or simply stay on the path my mind insists on.  A momentus decision as a child is simple compared to the forces that pressure us as adults, the goals that must be achived to continue and the effort compounded.  Time is running out...I hold back my progression and meet the people around me, wander the safer areas for usefull information and materials.  I have heard nothing in regards to my work on cyphers, perhaps A. has found another way to the needed goal.  So many things to explore and create and I grow impatient to begin.
  I trust in the example of Toran and the works of the heroes about me.  This will pass.

[Red Monkey]

*Current date and time for the posting as before*
  I have found a great deal of information on the posting board for the local inn as of late as well as the stray conversations in Hlint.  It is not truly honorable to eavsdrop but if people wish to stand in the street and talk loudly, I cannot judge thier motives.  It is time to move forward. 
  This motion must be in competence and spirit, too many conversations have had unpleasant coloring regarding faith.  There are those apprently without any faith at all, those who are quietly with spirit and then the evangelicals of all sides.  All the good intention can be repeatedly defeated by a lack of information on others and the supposed "facts" discussed.  I will enjoy gathering information to avoid common pitfalls and even help point others to thier own conclusions regarding our land.  We are our beliefs and experiences and no one can see the same thing as thier neighbors do.  Many things can only be learned and not taught in any fashion.
  Is this wisdom? Or the empirical facts I observe them to be?
  I still fear I do not have the suffient gravity to attempt straddling the sacred and the profane.  More weight is needed.

[Red Monkey]

*Written in an uncharacteristic hurry, no date indication*
  All these long days of contemplation and grinding of teeth are over!  I have cleared the fog that has wandered over my thoughts of late and understand.  The clergy is not my fate and is no longer my goal and it took a journey with a paladin of another god to make this clear.  This is not a somber thought by any means for I see where my own life can be the beacon I wish it to be. 
  The day was promising to be a long journey to Port Hampshire to investigate a letter delivery when I heard the telltales conversations regarding rat-men, goblins and suchlike.  Thankfully my offer of help was taken up and our party of four cleared the area of goblins and then decended upon the sewers to clear the vermin therein.  All the while it seemed Hubris was making friends by simply being what he is....and it suddenly struck me the truth in that.  We also were able to plumb the depths of the crypts for one of our party.  Although I have the same task of retreiving the essence of a foul undead creature I come to suspect the motives of our local undertaker and will never fullfill his request until proof of his ultimate character, good or otherwise, is revealed to me.  Simply because a thing is asked for does not mean it must be done by rote.
  Now I can use the strengths given to me by birth for the glory of Toran and all instead of worrying about what I think I can do or wish I could do.  I was giften with reason and will travel this path with relish.  My heart has become lit anew and my step is lighter than it has been since my calling here.
  Let justice prevail.