Addison's Journeys

[osxmallard]

I have been so negligent in updating this journal since my arrival, so I will make a meager attempt to catch up…

I was very nervous when leaving my family in the Forest of Mist with only my father’s old copper katana and the clothing on my back.  I did not know what sort of adventures were waiting for me in the far off lands.  Hopefully they would involve searching for riches so that my family could live in comfort in their old age.  My father will not be around forever and is aging rapidly...  I am fortunate that he taught me how to use my blade with basic techniques if I come across bandits or something even more terrible, such as goblins!

I have met so many helpful people since my arrival here in Hlint… the list is very extensive but I will write what I may recall.

One of my first true friends was Eamane.  She is a drow and I have not met very many of them in my previous travels.  A very talented sorceress her power will be immense and I am afraid of the influence she may wield, as her skills grow daily.  We go almost everywhere together and I miss her and feel emptiness inside when she is not by my side.  I love her like a sister.  I felt terrible when I got her killed by some Gnolls, having too much belief in my fighting abilities.  Since that moment, I never let a Gnoll pass me by without sending him a reminder of my pain and loss when they had slain my friend.  I must have killed one hundred by now and that is still not enough.

I also met Silool, a healer and bard.  She is very sweet and even made me a new outfit as a present.  It is very revealing but makes me feel noticed by men and women.  She frequently accompanies me on journeys and can always be counted on to patch my wounds and allow me to effectively continue the good fight.

My skills are growing every day and I feel that my blade is becoming a part of my being… With the proper training and a continued emphasis on the development of advanced fighting tactics, I know I will be a master one day.  I need to find someone to help me push my limits and be patient with me as I grow.  I do not need a kind, loving mentor but one that will drive me to pure exhaustion and excellence.  Father will be proud of what I have become… I hope he is alive long enough to see me achieve.

[osxmallard]

I still have not seen Eamane.  I wonder where she has gone off to lately...  I killed about 20 more Gnolls, yet they still return again and again for more of my wrath...  when will they just be gone so I can stop this madness that drives me.

Lately I have been crafting food and can barely make granulated sugar.  I am growing tired of having to kill the ogres that guard this crop as if it was their mission in life.  I wish to find a whole field full of sugar and barley with no guards!  I will keep searching...  I must continue my brewing and cooking!  The price of ale and liquor is sapping what little coin I have to my name, and I go through quite a bit.

I am getting to be quite the traveller and made it to the continent of Dragar with my friends Kavil (a very impressive caster), Timothy (a fighter that is pure magic to see in battle), Sir Riley Alexander (brave paladin of Toran), Rodlin (a master of the bow), an elf named Glenn, Silool, and my... Vestlyn.  There were beasts I couldn't have even imagined... and they were much more fierce than any ogre or goblin!  The Giants were bigger than houses and there was a strange half-man and horse beast that put many in the party to sleep, including Kavil!

I watched Timothy in battle and he performed quite the amazing maneuver... he jumped into the air and spun around, striking every enemy surrounding him with his sword and inflicting significant damage!  I must learn this technique!  Maybe I can ask him to teach it to me if he has some time... I will continue to watch and learn.  I also need to make my blade stronger to cause more damage... it is miraculous to see what it is capable of when Kavil places a spell on it... I will save all I can to afford such things while still getting coin to my family.

Vestlyn took me to an overlook above Haven castle and we watched the sunset.  It was a very quiet spot and nice to sit by the pond and chat with him.  I wonder if they built that bench up there or someone had to carry it...  Vestlyn calls me his little pixie because of my green hair.  I thought about stabbing him in the side with a sai, but decided that as long as noone else overhears it, I will allow him to use this name for me.  I think he may be starting to like me quite a bit, although I think he has a soft spot in his heart for Sil... she does dress quite provocatively and is a very attractive woman.  I am trying not to be jealous, but it is hard not to be of such beauty.

[osxmallard]

More travel.  That's all I seem to do now.  Travel.  And fight.  I need to continue my development into becoming something more than just a fighter that is thrown into battle... I want to be a master.  My sword is continuing to grow more powerful every time I wield it in battle... like it is becoming a true extension of myself.  Now all I need is that mentor.  I will find them soon... when I can prove myself worthy of their patience and demands for excellence.

Eamane.  Finally spent time with her today... and her... lover?  guardian?  What the heck is going on here?  How can she do this to me?  To *us*?  What happened to the things we were moving towards?   Collecting stupid eldeberries and wheat to make some coin to get our start in this miserable place... slave labor for someone too lazy to do it themselves!  We spent days collecting these trinkets so that we could buy Eamane a proper weapon.  And then she goes and finds her own "weapon"... a gift from Isilme?!  I spend my days and nights doing all these things for what?  To be cast away for her new protector?  This is *far* from over...  I will have to show Eamane that I am what she needs before she gets too powerful and doesn't need either myself or Isilme.

Made it to Dragar.  Wow.  That is a very dangerous place.  I am so fortunate that Kavil and Annun were there (and Riley too).  Annun is an incredible force to be reckoned with... her dual swords swift and unmatched by any beast we encountered.  Perhaps she will be able to show me some things to improve my skills... I am too afraid to ask.

Vestlyn.  As if I don't have enough issues he needs to "talk".  Talk.  Bah.  Probably going to tell me how much he loves Silool or something ridiculous.  Perhaps he has found another love that is more in line with his "spiritual" needs...  Rubbish.  I will have to wait to see what he has to say (and then stab him if I don't like the news).

Frustrated.  Must kill more Gnolls, count is only 160.  Going to Swordrust to wipe out their camps.

- Addi.

[osxmallard]

Vestlyn has left me for good.  He found me exploring the mines of Haven in search of iron and gold for a weapon I was having crafted.  A fine craftsman, Axodeth, was commissioned to forge an iron longsword that I planned to give to my Vestlyn.  I suppose I shall still have to pay for the sword.  I will cast it into the deepest moor or bury it in the darkest crypt I can find, never to be used by anyone.  I feel so empty inside.

After we spoke for a short while, Vestlyn gave me back the silver arrow and sai that I gifted to him when we met.  I immediately made a campfire and tossed them in, watching them burn away.  I do not know why he extinguished the fire and gave them back to me… what do I need charred bits of weapons for?  As a reminder of the pain?  I gave them back to him charred.  Let him remember what he has lost… I have nearly forgotten.

Some good has come of these events.. it has given me a new focus and clarity of what I must do…  perfect my skills with the blade and master its power.  I have no need for relationships here… I am alone in this world and plan on keeping it that way for a very long time.  Men do not interest me and will not receive my affection.  I have one love now… the Katana.   And it is my only true friend, confidant, and lover.  Perhaps the Katana cursed my relationship… I was unfaithful to its beauty and grace.  I am sorry, my love.  It will not happen again.

I then traveled to Dragar in search of silver with Sir Riley, Timothy, and Rodlin.  I watched in horror as Riley fell at a giants hand.  Then there were 3 of us… surrounded.  We somehow survived this wave of attacks and attempted to fight our way out of the mine. There were too many to count and they kept coming.  Timothy fell next.  I ran with Rodlin, attempting to escape… his summoned wolf was quickly cut to ribbons, barely even causing these giants to pause.  I kept running.  Rodlin turned to fight as a giant was on top of me… I yelled at him to run.  I felt the wash of blood run like a river out of my side… Life left me quickly as I was overcome.  I can only hope that Rodlin escaped.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Hello love.  We are becoming quite the pair, aren't we?  With you by my side we are an unstoppable force...  the undead, ogres, orcs, kobolds, giants... they all fall.  I have accepted you as a true part of me and have merged you into my life force and soul.  I shall have no other love as strong as this for all of my days.  I will never let you go.  There have been times where I have failed you though and did not use your powers to their fullest potential... that will change as I continue to learn and grow.

I would hope the fire enchantment that I have bestowed upon you was appreciated... your strike is even more painful to those who dare oppose us.  I will make you as powerful as I am able... everything that I can afford.  But we shall collect the required coin off the bodies of our slain enemy.  And there will be many.

I am sorry for ignoring you for love with a human.  Your cast iron body and ivory handle flow smoothly together and are a perfect extension of my being.  I love you Aria.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Aria has been taking me to the most exciting places.  We traveled all over Dregar and Mistone... even a small bit of time on Rilara.  Aria is becoming more and more a part of me every day and there are not many beasts left on Mistone that we cannot defeat together... there are some though, and I unfortunately have an uncanny knack to find them quickly.

For example, I keep going to the Crypts of Krandor and finding my doom.  I wish I was stronger and able to defeat the acid skeleton I encounter before descending into the depths...  I need to recover those ashes for that poor little girl.

A good thing is that my cooking is improving each day.  I made some delicious (but dry) rice cakes.  If I find some cherries I shall stuff them inside the rice cakes and it will make a much tastier treat!  I have not encountered any, but the recipe card clearly states that I need some... oh, I hope I find them soon.

Vestlyn keeps my guard up... one minute he dislikes me and the next he desires to adventure with me... I do not understand him at all.  I wish he would just make up his mind.  We fight quite often when we are together and we have said many things that we should have not when our tempers rise.  I felt terrible for not listening to him in Krandor... I should have left when he told me too... but I did not and perished again... seeing that blasted soul mother again.

I shall master Aria soon and show her what we can achieve with my new skills.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

As of late I have been staying very close to Hlint and basing most of my travels from there.  Although I cannot keep myself away from that darn Crypt of Krandor.... it begs me to conquer it and the beasts within.  That skeleton made of acid will eventually fall to the power of Aria.

I think I have also finally made things right with the Gnolls following the untimely death of Eamane so long ago.  Having killed hundreds and hundreds of them have finally quenched my need for revenge and calmed my hatred of them.  In fact, I have begun to feel sympathy and remorse for all of the killing I have done.  With the power of Aria growing stronger within me, I need to redirect my anger into more positive directions.  Killing every Gnoll that I encounter and seek out is no path for a Weapon Master to travel.  I must use my powers for the good of the land and begin to focus my strengths towards defeating the true enemy, Bloodstone.

I miss Eamane dearly, but are very happy that she has found someone to protect and love her, even if it is not me doing the protection.  I hope Isilme continues to treat her well.

Vestlyn is just a friend now.  Nothing much to say about him, but I destroyed the dress that he gave me and dyed it a dark shade of purple and black.  I feel bad about it because it was a wonderful garment.  Eventually I will give him a new one and ask him to dye it for me once again.

My sword skills have benefited quite a few parties in the goblin caves and the crypts of Hlint recently.  There is no shortage of people asking for my help to complete tasks.  I met an elf named Kian who asked for my assistance completing a descent into the crypts with a small party (including twin Teiflings) about 5 days past.  I also assisted a group of 3 dwarven brothers in that place... I cannot tell them all apart and their names rhyme, but they are very kind and purchased me several nice beverages as a payment for assistance at the Leilon this past week.

Most recently I found two travellers very near death in the Krandor Outskirts that I healed and bandaged up to allow them to continue their journey for sugar and lion.

I still have not found a mentor for my continued growth as a Master of the Katana, but my search still continues to the ends of Mistone.  Even if I never find a person to train me in the ways, I continue to grow and develop with each battle.  I have learned a new fighting maneuver that I saw Curtis use called a Whirlwind attack.  It is devastating to enemies that surround you, but I am so new at it's use, I do not hit with the precision required of a true Master.

Rice.  Need lots of rice.  Must continue cooking.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Aria is still my only true love.  She is beginning to really open up and share the powers locked within her iron shape.  Part of my soul has joined with her and I would never leave her for another.  If some day she wants to move into a new form and transfer her being into a new weapon, I shall embrace it... but it would not feel quite the same.  There is nothing I would change about her.  She is beautiful.

I have been using my new found skills, but they lack the depth and expertise required of a true master.  It all feels so shallow to me... and I am so clumsy with their employment.  There is so much more to learn and noone to assist me with this great leap.  I have been watching Timothy with his sword... his movements are so fluid and precise when he fights... I still frequently miss the mark on the creatures I fight.

I have been staying away from Dragar, save for a short trip with Sniverous the bard a few days past.  I collect cougar pelts, lion skins and spider silk for his tailoring and in return he has presented me with a few wonderful bags to store my things.  

For the most part, I continue to stay close to Hlint and Fort Hope, helping the new arrivals with their mundane tasks and desires.  It makes me feel fufilled helping all of these people and watching them grow.  Amethyst is my new passion and I have been seeking it out wherever I go.  I found two small deposits in the Haven mines but have been unable to find it elsewhere.  It is such a beautiful blue color and the way it sparkles excites me to no end.  I need to find someone to cut them for me so I can see their beauty more clearly.  Maybe I can also have one set in a ring so I can wear it always.

Well, I should get back to my baking.  I am still looking for a field of rice somewhere.  I should check Rilara and begin exploring that continent before Blood continues his takeover.

[osxmallard]

Barion said something that made me really think about what path I was following.  This caused me to take pause and re-evaluate my entire relationship with Aria, something I thought would never occur.

So with that, I am sorry Aria, but I have made a grave error.  My love for you is not true and in the best interests of my future desires.  I must not only employ you as an extension of my being, but all weapons like you... (although there really are truly none exactly like you) as I commence my path to become a master.  Barion said that he once made a mistake and was too personal with his sword... and when that sword was lost in battle, he did not know if he could go on and he questioned his abilities to fight.  The loss caused him great pain and put him at risk of death without the weapon that he loved too much.  It was this personalization and getting too close to one weapon which put him in harms way.  I should learn from his mistake before it is too late.  You will always be close to me Aria... but if we ever become seperated I must go on.

Barion also taught me some things that will be very useful such as readying myself for a more powerful attack prior to performing a whirlwind maneuver... it adds quite a bit of extra force to the attack, further devastating the enemies I face.  He is very smart in the ways of the blade.  I cannot wait to go out and watch him in action.

Cooking is going well.  I need to face my fears and go into the manticore lands to obtain some sage.  The list of people I owe roasts to is getting longer... and I have made no progress with their preparation.

After my discussions with Barion, I am also searching for an Adamantium Katana (or at least the raw materials for one).  I believe I have finally saved enough coin by scraping by and only buying absolute necessities to make this significant purchase.  Now to find a vendor!

- Addi

[osxmallard]

You would not believe it but I have met a Master of the Katana!  Curious as it may seem, this man was a dwarf!  He did not weild a battleaxe or dwarven waraxe as I would expect... but a beautifully shaped Katana with sparks that flew right off the blade.  I learned many things by watching this man and seeing how he fought so gracefully in battle.. he even did the move I have been trying to perfect... jumping in the air, spinning all around, and landing fatal blows on all that he faced.

I shall have to seek him out again... his name was Master Lokri.

I also met a nice gentleman named Cole.  We had met previously in passing, searching for the ashes of a girl in the crypts of Krandor.  He is also the master of a blade, but not my blade of choice.  His abilities in battle were also very impressive and I tried to mimic his abilities, however poorly they seem.  After going to his warehouse in a lovely part of Pranzis that I had not seen before (by the lake), we made very loose plans to travel sometime soon and work on my swordplay.

Sniverous has been a very good friend lately, and he showed me around quite a bit... his song infuses me with power and makes me much more effective.  I consider him one of my greatest allies and friends.

Sage gathering was... an adventure.  A terrible awful adventure I do not want to repeat.  Ever.  Those manticore spines go right through my bronze plate as if it was cloth.  I have never felt such pain in my entire life... and there were so many manticores.  I shall buy sage by the box and leave the collection to the rogues among us.

Today I made my very first pie!  It was apple... and a bit soggy, but I was so amazed when I saw it come out of the oven in one piece I nearly fainted.  I also made a roast feline at the same time, and it's meat is tender and moist... so much better than the small plates of meat I make over the campfire.  My cooking is improving by leaps and bounds... I can't wait to make more pie!  I shall give some to Acacea...

- Addi

[osxmallard]

I am so amazed at the amount of people wanting to help me in my desire to become a master of the Katana over the past weeks here... they are so kind, knowing, and have taught me so much.

On a recent adventure to break a curse and rid the seas of a ship of undead that terrorized merchants and sailors alike, I met a battle hardened veteran named Cole.  Cole has a rough and rough exterior and always seems to bully his way around the lands...  He is always so direct and callous with his words... but underneath that facade is a wonderful teacher and master of the blade.

Cole has been a godsend as a teacher... he first showed me exactly how to balance the blade by attaching small metal plates embedded in the hilt... this caused my balance to be exceptional when attempting to perform the spinning attack.  Before, I was always off balance and stumbled at the end of the manuever.  With this new balancing, I am able to weild the blade successfully throughout the entire course of it's travel, landing solidly on my feet and ready for subsequent attack actions.  The undead that rove the broken forest are no match for my new found quickness, and sometimes cannot even land a blow before I have sent them back to their graves.

There were 2 mummies in the broken forest once, and they did not fall for my tricks in the least... I shall have to ask Cole to teach me more and show me how to defeat such things...

Cole also took me to the Barbarian Isles to this cave that was the coldest place I have ever been.  If not for him thinking ahead and bringing a lot of tinder for fires, I think I may not even be writing this entry today... it froze me to the core and inhibited my movement.  Cole was happy that he was able to find gemstones in this cave and also showed me some goblins of which I have never seen before.. riding some sort of wolf creature.  These goblins were quite craftier than the ones I have met on Mistone...

I went to the Haven mines to gather some Iron and Feldspar for a new set of iron armor.  My platinum half plate is wonderful and much better than the bronze I held so dearly... but as I grow, my needs of greater protection grow with me... I believe I am ready to try a new set of iron.

I have seperated my personal life from sweet Aria... but she is still by my side.  Fighting together.  I said that I was not ready to take another man into my life because of her, but perhaps I am changing... and someone special is helping me change that perception.

Adventuring forth... the cooking continues.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Today is quite possibly the saddest day in my entire life.

I received word that my parent's village of Shalestone, deep within the Forest of Mists was under attack by an entire army of bugbears.  The note also stated that my father was badly wounded defending the village and that I must quickly come if I wished to see him alive.  I quickly gathered a small party in Hlint and Miss Ireth was kind enough to let us use the teleport from her home to quickly arrive in Pranzis on Dragar.

After gathering all of our things and ensuring everyone was ready, we set out for the village, encountering many bugbear patrols along the way.  Some of the bugbears were difficult to defeat and had acid on their weapons.  Others fell easily.  Yet others used heavy magic which burned deep into our skin.  After what seemed like days, we finally arrived at the village.

My father, Rolan, lay dying in the grass in front of the very house he built.  Long ago my parents moved to the town to escape the armies of Bloodstone, yet it was bugbears led by the General Khain that led to his death.  I brought my mother, Caniel,  back to Mistone for safety and to ensure that she will continue her long life in Fort Hope, one of the few places still relatively unaffected by Blood's march on the planes.  I shall protect her with every ounce of my soul.

We then attempted to protect the village and destroy all of the bugbear patrols... but there were many.  I met a very important stranger... an older gentleman with dual katana, dressed in some knightly robes.  His swords were deadly and swift.. I watched him destroy multiple patrols all by himself... I must be like this man.  He allowed me to speak with him and offered to mentor me in the ways of the blade.  His name is Caltorn Ry'an and I sit in a small corner of his simple home scribing this journal entry.  My training should prove to be difficult.. or he says it will be.  I hope to bring back many tales from the adventures I hope to have with him in the near future.  I am so eager to learn everything he can teach me about my weapon.

At the end of our journey, we encounted a sub-general leading a terrible force... he nearly killed us all.  He was quite possibly the most evil bugbear I have ever seen.  If not for the quick actions of Curtis and his remarkable medical knowledge, we certainly would not be alive.

I am so tired... I need rest and food... and something with which to tend these wounds.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Master Ry'an has taught me many new things over the past month.  The most important of the skills is patience and the control of my rage towards General Khain.  He told me that in time, with the right grouping of people, I would be able to face the General and release the pain I hold deep inside.  If the sub-general is even a partial comparison to the General himself, I have quite a bit more training to do before I finally confront this vile being.

Ry'an is also disappointed in my longer than agreed breaks in my training since the focus and discipline required of a weapons master encompasses complete dedication to the task at hand.  I have promised him that I would stay here and do all that I was told over the next month, taking no breaks at all... to concentrate on his vast knowledge and experience.  He does know what is best, I am sure of it... and I need to stop being such a stubborn girl bent on exploring every nook and cranny of this continent.

Following the month of intense training, he has told me I will be allowed to return to my friends for some adventure, but immediately after that scheduled break, I am to return here to show him my skills and again practice new ones over the next two months.  He warned me that it would take months to possibly years and decades to finally get close to the point at which he is able to handle a blade... and I am committed to this task.

I am still distraught over the loss of my father, but with my mother safely in Fort Hope, it gives me a purpose for being.  I will be able to watch over her and ensure that she continues to live her life to it's fullest.  Maybe one day when Bloodstone is defeated, she will be able to go back to Shalestone.  I will help to rebuild her home there... and perhaps face the General that drives the bugbears and the evil in that forest.

From outside Vale,
Addi

[osxmallard]

My training continues, and now I must depart with Master Ry'an for about the next 2 months.  I have no idea
where he will be taking me and what sort of danger we will encounter.  My skills have been improving slowly
with dedication and focus.  I sincerely hope that this journey makes my weapon a better extension of myself.

I purchased an Adamantium Katana from the arch Bard... it is a fine weapon and extremely well balanced.
There are no plates or additions required... it came perfect from the crafter, whomever they are.  I do not
remember their name, but someday I shall seek them out for additional weaponry.

I miss Cole and am very sad that I am leaving for such a long trip without seeing him.  At least seeing him
with my own eyes would have made the journey partially bearable.  I only have the memory of him to hold
me through.

Ry'an looks impatient.  I must go...

- Addi

[osxmallard]

I may be dead.  I am very uncertain as I walk the thin line between reality and fantasy.  I have moments of complete comprehension followed by bouts of absolute insanity.

These past months have been nothing but pure torture on my soul and being as a person.  It has forced me to continually question why I exist and what my purpose is here... and whom I serve.  Have I been summoned to fight a just war against the forces of Blood?  Am I just a pawn of some dragon... doing it's bidding for their war?  Blood certainly touches all of us as his forces devour peaceful settlements across Layonara...  will he stop once all the dragons are dead?

I have literally slain more things in the past 2 months than I have in my entire lifetime.  Master Ry'an claims that it will quench my thirst for death and make each death mean something more.  A conclusion.  I fear he is right since the only death I look forward to causing now is the one where I am plunging my katana deep into the neck of General Khain.  Finally completing the cycle.

This training period is almost over, but my life here has just begun anew.  I look forward to seeing old friends and making new ones when I return to Hlint.

[osxmallard]

It is certainly good to be back and into my normal routine of life.  A well deserved break in training is just what I need to get my head on straight and my focus back onto my goals.

Just a few days ago, I was wandering on Dragar, doing a bit of exploring and wanted to watch the vampires at the River of Shadows.  They always catch my interest even though I am a bit hesitant to fight them.  I can sit there and watch them for hours.  If I am lucky, I can even see some Malar panther that live in the area... if they see me I just run.

Well, I am babbling on and on... to make a long story short... I ran into Cole!  I was so excited to see him even though he was with a rather large group of people.  There was Acacea, Jennara, Ael and Cole's new "apprentice" Cynn (who died in a rather tragic encounter in the Silver Cave of Anuroch later).

I feel slightly jealous of this new red-haired girl.  She uses the same blade as Cole and he seems to fancy her quite a bit.  I am not sure why I feel this way, since I am not really the jealous type... well, okay, I may be slightly the jealous type.  She follows everything he does and he takes extra time and care to make sure she is using her blade correctly.  I think that I may be envious since that is the way Cole used to care for me.. like when he showed me how to balance the blade of my old katana with those little metal plates to keep my balance.  I suppose I was gone for so long, it would be inevitable for him to find someone else that would take up his time.  I will make it a point to spend more time with him, even if it is in short periods of time.

Acacea is a different matter altogether.  She seems to only be a close friend of Cole (and by all accounts a pretty hard drinker) that always sleeps in a corner of his room at the Arms.  I do not feel any of the same things about Acacea, and besides her sharp tongue and wit, she is not a very big threat to me.  I felt that she was around while I was talking to Cole by the oasis in Saudiria, but I did not want to say anything, less Cole think me paranoid.

I was able to sit and relax with Cole by that Oasis for what seemed like hours.  He spoke of his childhood and some terrible pox disease that he had.  His side is quite scarred and marked from this "pox" and he lost both of his parents... so very sad.  Perhaps that is the pain that drives him to be a mercenary?  Does he have nothing to live for?  Has he lost others dear to him?  I am afraid to ask all of these questions.  Maybe I time I shall.

I told Cole of the recent loss of my father and the reasons why I train so hard.  My sincere desire for revenge drives me still... but it is a controlled revenge.  And I thank Master Ry'an every day for all that I have learned.  I know I have so much more to accomplish.  General Khain shall feel the ice cold blade of my father's Katana through his heart.  Someday.  Someday soon.

[osxmallard]

I have just started to explore the Kingdom of Roldem after I journeyed there for the first time with a small party, including Cole, Karl Drake, Jennara, Jade Willow, Freldo, and Daeron.  This is a most interesting place indeed and there are some sort of undead there that inhabit the swamps.  

I was corrected later by the arch bard and apparently they are not really undead... they are awakened undead and are somewhere between the dead and undead.  This is all incredibly confusing to me.  I need to speak to Brisbane and figure out what these things are and why they are in the swamps of Roldem.  She turned into a bear and ran off before I could ask yesterday... besides, she was probably still angry about me swatting that badger that followed me to the campfire.  I did skin it as she requested, and gave the pelt to a young adventurer who will certainly find a use for it sometime soon.

My adventures with Cole took me into many caves and areas on Roldem, including one small cave with floating elementals where Cole finally found the platinum that was rumored to be deep within a cave.  I was knocked over by a gigantic gust of wind, which made me unconcious for an indeterminate amount of time.  When I awoke, all of the elementals were defeated and Cole was able to get some Platinum rock.  These veins were very weak though and not very much of it was usable.

I do not know how the arch bard knows that I was with Cole, but when I asked him about the chests with legs we saw on Roldem, he stated that only Cole would take me to such a place and that I had no business there and should keep away.  When Cole remarked that we were going to see the walking chests, I thought he was making a "Coleism" and meant creatures that carried a lot of coin... but he literally meant *walking chests*.  He failed to mention they also had huge teeth and tried to bite us multiple times.  Ozy said that the chests are some sort of lesser guardians to a very evil place called the Plane of Pandamonium and anything sane is sure to wither and die if it travels there.

After leaving Roldem via the portal in Rodez, I vowed to return and continue my exploration someday.

Ozy caused me great pain and sadness as well.  I tried to hide my fear, but I think he has an unnatural sense of it, and probably saw right through me.... he told me to enjoy my time with Cole now... because the soul mother will be coming for him soon and I will never see him again... especially after he fights near Blood's throne, which is the only Blood Well in existence.  It's power is more that 1000 times that of a Blood Pool.... which probably means even the bindstone cannot save you from the grasp of her... or Blood himself.  I am very scared that I could lose him forever.

- Addi

[osxmallard]

Well, the whole Roldem exploration has taken a turn for the worse...

The possibilty of great reward from the chests drew me back once more.  Instead of being rewarded, I have been cursed.  Cursed with the worst possible feelings.  Cursed with an inexplainable thirst for death... be it my own or those I care about.  On one hand, I dearly miss Cole, but am happy that I have not seen him in some time since the event... the event that changed me.  What have I become?  I would never want harm to come to him.  He is already on the delicate edge of the soul mother claiming him forever.

I am driven by hatred.  Hatred and indulgence.  I am only calm when the horse is near.  The longer that I am away from him, the greater the feelings towards my end become.  I am barely sated... I hold nothing dear.  Nothing except blood.  Usually my own.

I mean, what type of lunatic attempts to kill a medusa?  A gloom?  I am the lunatic.  I didn't even bring assistance.  I punched through the satyrs as if they were walls made of paper.  I faced terrible undead.  I have killed from one end of Layonara to the other... yet I still crave more.  More death.

Just last evening, I found myself back on Roldem... but away from that terrible place.  The place of death.  And her.  Koralawyn.  The avatar of death.  She killed Rodlin while I stood and watched.  That was before the horse came.  Came to curse me.  Came to end my existence.  I am supposed to protect it somehow... but without fear of things that cause me harm... I do not know how to do it.

I need to kill Koralawyn.  Shouldn't I fear her?  She cut Rodlin to shreds with 3 motions of her blades... I do not even feel hesitant to face her.  I must see the horse... it is the only thing that can stave these urges.  Urges to die... urges to get people around me killed.

I smile as friends die.  I laugh when I kill enemies.  I only feel truly fufilled by blood flowing out of my wounds.  I am so damaged.  The madness must end.

[osxmallard]

I am sorry dear journal... I have neglected you again.  And so much has happened, I do not know where to begin.

The horses of Pandemonium have been returned to Erezneb... Kora is imprisoned in a sanitarium for her own safety and the safety of others... I am free of the Indulgence... Ireth has her beautiful daughter back.  I finally rescued my horse, Nightmare, from that horrible man in Orc's Watch.

Freldo is still a goof.  He is fun to travel with and always makes me laugh... even when the going gets tough.  Rhynn on the other hand seems a bit... strange.  She goes from one extreme to the other, dressing in black and looking menacing... well, as menacing as the young gal can anyway... to being sweet and kind.  I do hope Freldo knows what he is getting himself into.  I see him as a young pup, following anywhere his master asks to go...  I hope it all works out in the end.  I even gave him all the Topaz we mined to give to her as a gift.  What is she doing for him?  Everything has a cost.

Treana.  She is so beautiful and witty.  I love just being around her... her sense of fashion is unmatched... and I hesitate to say because I used to think Silool has the best fashion sense... but wow!  What Treana wears... her hair.. everything is so perfect.  I give her things all the time in the hope that she will give me some clothing... I am too shy to ask her directly.  Just yesterday I mined and smelted a lot of copper just for her.  I would have given her more, but I shattered all 3 of my picks on a single spire... something harder must have been in the center... does mithril form in copper?  I shall give her some more gems when I see her next.  Her jewelery designs show the same amount of ingenuity that her tailoring does... absolutely marvelous!

Ketil.  Wow, what a fellow.  He is so hard to understand when he is excited... but what an adventurer.  He reminds me of so many dwarves I have known during my travels.  But he is the most fun to be around and always has something witty to say.  He even asked me to cook for him!  He's so archaic... thinking that a woman's place is to cook and clean.  Ha!  I love just playing along though and it always keeps me happy to travel in his company.  I love him like a brother.  I must find a suitable gift for him sometime soon.

Cole.  I know I cannot control the actions and risks that he takes on a daily basis.  But, I am so worried that I will lose him soon to the soul mother.  I will only have his memory and the thoughts of all the things we did together as a couple.  I still remember the day we met... I was at the bindstone in Dalanthar as a young gal reflecting on why I should not try to fight Mithril golems (even if they take chase), when along came a mighty group of warriors.  Sniv was there with them and vouched for my abilities and they took me with them.  Cole was so caring and kind, always making sure that I was safe from the blows of the creatures we faced.  We met again shortly thereafter on a journey to reunite a pirate captain with the soul of his lost love... the adventure on the high seas was wonderful and allowed me to see a kinder, softer side to the battle hardened merc.  *she smiles as she writes this*

I watched him try to grind corn into meal... *giggles as she writes*  he made it into powder more times than I can count... I think he may have gotten one or two good batches out of all that corn.  I offered to help since I rarely if ever make an error while grinding, but he insisted that he wanted to get better, so I sat patiently and watched him waste the corn anyway.  Later that day I collected 4 new boxes of corn from multiple continents (the Dragar corn is *divine*) and ground it into meal to feed the chickens.... and I have a whole box of eggs for him!  I want him to do well on his scribing and he shouldn't have to worry about ink for a little while with all those eggs.  I need to keep him out of the kitchen... on second thought... keeping him in the kitchen will keep him out of trouble.

Recently, he risked himself yet again against Drezneb and Eon... I received a bird from a friend.  He told me that the soul mother had visited Cole on this journey... and she was not kind.  He does not have much of his soul left.. and a careless miscalculation in even the easiest or routine situations can snatch him away from me and ... *she pauses*

I cannot tell him... and I am not certain... but I may be with child.  *tears stain the parchment*

- Addi

[osxmallard]

I asked Ozymandias for help on how to change Cole and his nature.  The soul mother will take him soon.  I would offer my own soul in his place but I doubt she would take me instead.

Ozy merely stated that it is nearly impossible to change his nature... it would only be a delay.

However, Ozy's riddle was cryptic and had a hidden meaning (as do most of his words)... I think there is a way to change him.  It will not be through love... nor can it be through restraint.

Regret?