Jin Lun Lee - Diaries.

[stragen]

Leaving the Temple

I left the temple in the dark of night feeling the call of Aeridin, or maybe just loneliness at the death of my mentor Father Shay-Wan-Low.  I feel that I must seek out my heritage in the west.
Is my mother alive?  Do I have any family, these are questions I must know.  I am not ready to visit my fathers inheritance. [Ink blot]  Just thinking of what it must be fills me with anger.  I pray to Aeridin for strength. I have finished my basic clerical training, but I have not even begun my monastic training, as is the custom in our temple.  All I know is that I head west.  Perhaps I shall find my mothers family.

[stragen]

The Dragon

I have met a Dragon!  Was it a dream?  Or is reality more fragile then I know?  It spoke to me and gave me a mission.  Now I am in a strange land, in a town called Hlint.  There are many  strange people about.  Much stranger then I am.  Though perhaps I seem strange to them?  I have found no clues about my Mother.  However I did help rid the town of a menacing were-rat.

[stragen]

Death and The Void

I stepped outside the town gates and was killed by goblins.  My spirit was stuck in the black void for three days.  It was a most terrifying experience.  I had almost given up when I found the recall stone.  I returned to the land of the living.

[stragen]

Death, Ghosts and Hanta

I met a warrior woman name Hanta.  She instructed me in the arts of fighting, rats and goblins.  Together with the elf Lilly, we travelled deep into the goblin infested copper mines in a quest to rid the town of the vermin.  I weilded my crossbow and trusted staff with a fury.  However both myself, Hanta and Lilly perished at the hands of the Goblins.  I was unable to heal my companions and myself.  We perished, however I returned quickly to the land of the living this time.  Alas for Hanta and Lilly they returned as spirits.

I have come to the realise that my trusted staff is not adequete protection from goblin arrows and swords.  Aeridin needs me to preseve my life as well as those of my companions.  I have been trained in use of the shield and mace.  The shield will preserve my life in dire places.  The mace like the staff is a non-maiming wooden handled weapon.  I will use these artifacts when in dire need.  Perhaps once I have completed my monastic training I will no longer need any artifacts other than my fists to carry out Aeridin's duties.

I have enlisted the help of a Dwarf named Axeodeth, and a half-elf named Vance.  Our quest was to find the graves of Lilly and Hanta so that their spirits may return to the mortal realm.  The mighty dwarf decimated the evil goblins with his axe as if they were kindling for the chopping.  I continued stead fast with my staff but I have vowed to aquire a shield and some armour.  We have killed the Goblin leader and found the graves of Hanta and Lilly.  Then Axeodeth even had some time spare to do a little prospecting for minerals.

[stragen]

The Drow

I have faced the drow and I am stronger for it.  I knew Hlint was full of all manner of strange beings, I have see orcs, half-gaints, and half-ogres roaming the streets.  I guess it was inevitable, I have met the drow.  

Standing out side the merchants shop in Hlint a strange looking elf wearing a full helm asked me to point him in the direction of the craft licence shopkeeper.  Something about him triggered a reaction in me.   I could feel my blood beginning to rise.  The strange elf introduced him self as Daralith Del’Mar.  I blurted out “Are you a Drow”.  The villain admitted it without remorse, calming removing his helm to show his darkened features and pale hair to the world.  

Here standing before me was a creature who may have raped my mother.  My temper flared into a rage.  I gripped my staff ready to beat the evil being into the ground. In a rage I accused Daralith of raping my mother.  Fortunately the cleric Sho'kon Mondargan arrived on the scene, having heard my raised voice.  He reminded me that beating a Drow to death on the street is against the Laws of Hlint.  After taking some breaths to calm down I was able to loosen the grip on my staff.  Sko’ pointed out that I share some of the features of this dark elf; who is my most hated enemy.    At this point the anger gave way to tears, for the loss of my mother, for the shame that I carry in my blood.  

Daralith continued to taunt me, to encourage my hatred, to be like him.  His words had the opposite effect.  I prayed to Aeridin for strength and I found some level of calmness.  I realised this is the difference between good and evil.  For if I was to give into may hate, I would have fulfilled my fathers violent heritage.  For it is true that I am part Drow.  I turned my back on the dark-elf and walked away.

For now I will ignore Darlith.  However at some stage I will have to confront him.  He is the only link to my fathers people.  Perhaps he may even know which band of ruthless mercenaries raped my mother and father me; for when I find them that will be a day of reckoning.  

[stragen]

The Shield

I have finally acquired a shield.  I have tested it in combat and the protection was most effective.  Using it I was able eliminate a band of undead roaming the forest.  Together with the mace that I carried with me from the temple it proved an effective combination.  To my mind the shield appears to be a physical manifestation of Aeridin's directive, to preserve life.

However I am still wearing my robes and carrying my staff around town.  I am still not comfortable with the shield and mace, and prefer the simple staff and robes.  However I have no wish to die again.  I have prayed to Aeridin for an answer.

[stragen]

A Troubled Cleric

For the first time in my life I have questioned my faith in Aeridin.  Having been born and raised in a temple devoted to Aeridin for my entire life so far I have never once considered any other path.  There was no other choice.  However kind and wise Father Shay-Wan-Low was it would be fair to say that our clergy strayed from the mainstream.  This may be because there hadn’t been an elf seen at the temple in my lifetime, which to an elf is but a blink of an eye.  It may also be because the temple contains both a Chapel with clerics, and a Monastery with monastics.  I use to love to watch the monks practice their ka-ta in the morning, the silent physical prayer of mind and body.   Perhaps I neglected my own prayers a little, but I had always considered prayer and works of healing to be my strong point.  It was my temper that let me down.

I think my temper and the associated violent passions have shocked many of the local followers of Aeridin in Hlint.  Many of whom are elves!  My faith is but a candle flame compared to the elven clerics who shine like the noon day sun.  In a darkened room the candle is bright, but at noon it is pale and wan.  All I can see at the moment are the shadows created by my candle in the dark.  Is it I who created these dark shadows, or did they already exist?  I travelled to the temple-grove dedicated to Aeridin in the forest south of Seilwood.  Though I grew stronger in divine magic from the experience I was unsatisfied.  Those aspects that attract me most to Aeridin, the Moons and the Earth were not strong in the grove.  The great trees though favoured by the elves blotted out the moon, and I longed for my home temple built on a mountain side above the forest with its majestic craggy outcrops and pristine views of the night sky.  Though I consider all life including the beasts of the forest precious, many of the animals, the bettles, spiders and ravens attack me on sight; this sends my temper into a violent storm.  For even when I ask Aeridin for healing for them they do not relent.  I have never previously known such violent behaviour in animals.  I wonder why is Aeridin testing me in this way?  

My violent passions aren’t limited to dumb beasts either.  We, the Elven Cleric of Aeridin Alleina, the Gnome Drugo, and I were camped in the forest discussing our past and our views of Aeridin.  Without warning I was attacked from behind by an Ogre.  I was wearing only robes so I felt the full force of its attack; the brute nearly slew me before I could find my shield and mace.  My companions dispatched it and saved my life.  We decided to leave our camp site there and then.  My mind was in a fury.  The next Ogre I encountered I slew on sight, without hesitation or mercy.  I would have continued to on to commit genocide against the remaining Ogres in the forest was it not for Alleina who brought me to my senses.  We avoided the Ogres when we could and ran from them  when we could not, even though it was they who attacked us.  My temper roiled the whole time, both at the Ogres for attacking me, but also at the Elven clerics for illuminating my flawed nature.

Where does this violent nature within me come from?  Is it part of my human heritage, a gift from my dark-elven father, or merely a result of my violent conception?  For I know the truth of my conception.  Father Shay-Wan-Low told me to story of my mother arrival at the temple when he lying delirious with fever on his death bed.  It was a gruesome tale.  I have come to reinterpret my name Jin-Lun-Lee, to mean “night of the bloody” moon, not “night of the ruby moon” as it would be commonly translated to.  

I need to resolve these questions soon, for my sake and that of my companions.

To Aeridin I pray.

[stragen]

Axeodeth and Armour.

I am becoming fast friends with the Dwarf Axeodeth.  He has saved my skin twice, or thrice.  It all started out on a quest to retrive a young girl named Nikki grandfathers ashes.  I though it would be a simple task to retrive the ashes.  I was wrong, it was difficult dangerous and more then I could handle. In the end it took three mighty adventures and my self to achieve the quest.  I must admit I was more of a liability then a help.  But that is another story.

Following the quest Axe offered to sell me some better armour.  I agreed, I am not yet ready to adventure in only robes, and my leather armour is slightly the worse for wear.  Axe took me to his home in Hlint and showed me a selection of armours.  None of them were quite what I needed.  However his home was amazing, it was surpizingly large on the inside.  Axe must be a very wealthy dwarf.  I was most impressed as he showed me around his home.  Then the dwarf revealed his skills as a smith and armourer.  Axe crafted me a cunningly designed robe with a fine bronze chain mesh hidden underneath.  The robe looks splendid.  However I am not used to wearing such a garment in combat.  I will have to practice my skills to gain the ablity to wear the robes.

[stragen]

Poisoned, dying slowly in Sielwood forest.

This may be my last diary entry.  I was collecting my thoughts in Sielwood forest after a tough encounter with some kobolds lurking in a nearby cave.  I had summoned a spirt of the earth to protect my body while may mind floated free.  However I strayed away for too long.  The earth spirit had departed to it native plane and I had been attacked by a spider and Etterkin.

Being drained of spells and of health I needed to retreat.  However they persisted.  I was poisioned and wounded.  Now I am trapped at the edge of the forest.  Paralysed from the waist down I cannot move.  A small spider is worrying my feet.  This may be my last journal entry.

At least I am near a grove dedicated to Aeridin.  That will give faith to face the end.

Aeridin let my will be one with yours and my life dedicated to your service.

 

[stragen]

Dead to undead

I perished in Sielwood forest, the spider poison worked slowly and painfully.  Yet here I am again in the land of the living.  My spirit continues to be drawn to the mortal plain and to a mortal body.  There must be a reason for this.  I returned to the bindstone in the Rangers Vale and retraced my steps to my grave.  This is certainly and unnerving experience.

Having returned to Hlint penniless I decided to take up a craft.  Crafting it seems in hard work and frustrating.   I have acquired tools for tailoring and jewel craft.   It is hard physical work.  Many times I have broken a needle in anger.    The raw materials of silk and cotton are difficult to aquire, guarded by orcs and spiders respectively.  The greenstone and machalite are heavy and protected by goblins and orcs.  I felt like I was making very little progress. Eventually I made a cloak.  

I was resting on the bench under the great tree in Hlint when Lilly came past say “Follow me we need a healer”.  I came slowly under the burden of the items I had crafted.  Outside the gate of Hlint was chaos.

Undead everywhere.  Supposedly we were attacked by a Bloodpool General.  I called on the power of Aeridin to terrify the ghouls but to no effect.  Instead I had to wade in with my mace and shield.  In the end the citizens’ of Hlint were victorious.  However it appears that war is coming, and I am being drawn into it.

How am I going to find my mother in a continent torn apart by war?

[stragen]

Lilly Again, Dead Again.

I was meditating outside the tavern in Krondor.  My mind floating far from my body; I believe I shall soon be ready to join the monastic path.  When Lilly ran past unknown to myself.  She had lured into the town an deadly creeping vine.  While my spirit was away, my body was killed by the vine.  Was it on purpose or an accident?  I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

Dead again.

[stragen]

Lilly is gone

Lilly has left for other lands.  I will miss that troubled spirited elf.  I recall first meeting her with Hanta.  Her common was not so good then, and my elven was weak.  We had to communicate via mime.  Hanta and I had been racing through Hlint with the thrill of youth and the joy of movement.  It appeared that the dainty little elf with the oversize long bow and gruesome armour wanted to join the race.  Thus began my assoication with Lilly.  She was a fey spirit, much like the wild animals of the woods.  She could be very kind and unwittingly cruel in a blink of an eye.  Truely a wild creature of Aeridin.  I will miss her, inspite of her pranks and troublesome nature.

I will miss you Lilly.

[stragen]

The nature of violence

Every creature created by the gods has a purpose, to survive to, procreate, to live.  It is this natural life that Aeridin holds precious.  

I have observed that the each creature will fulfil its purpose in a different way.  The rabbit lives by grazing grass and shoots. The fox lives by hunting rabbit.  This is that nature of the cycle, without taking the life of the rabbit the fox could not live.  Thus the cycle continues.  There is violence inherent within the fox, for if the fox did not kill it could not live.   Even the rabbit which does eat meat can destroy a bush from overgrazing.  Thus there is violence inherent within nature.  But the nature of this violence will vary according to the purpose.  

Furthermore the purpose of a creature is determined by its parentage.   The offspring of a rabbit will have both the characteristics and purpose of a rabbit.  The offspring of the fox will have the characteristics and purpose of a fox.  The rabbit will never be a fox, and no matter how it tries the fox cannot live the live of a rabbit.  These are the truths of nature.

Do these truths also hold for the higher creatures, Humans, Elves and Dwarves?  

It is stated that the nature of the Drow is violent and cruel in the extreme.  Will the child of a Drow inherit the nature of a Drow.  What would happen if ones parents were human and drow; rabbit and fox?  Does the truths of nature hold true for higher creatures?  Is my purpose anger and violence, inherited from my Drow father?  And what of my mother was she rabbit or fox?

I have begun observing the local Drow, hoping to gain an insight into their purpose, and thus my own nature and purpose.

I met Daralith Del'Mar  the Drow archaic some moons ago in Hlint.  His words and demeanour spark the fuel of my hatred causing it to burn brightly.  His purpose is hidden to me as my mind has been clouded with anger each time I have encountered him.  All I have determined of his purpose is to acquire wealth and power, with perhaps power over the ‘lesser races’ of most important to him.  He purses this through skill in magics and crafts.  He openly goads me and tries to fan the flames of my hatred.  I expect that violence lurks below the veneer of his intelligence and sophistication.

I met Zanirth Nûr Drichtsarr amongst a group of other adventures.  I have conversed with Zanirth in detail on the nature of violence.  She professed to be adverse to violence.  However she still “kills for practice”.   This we determined is not the same as “practising to kill”.  But I am not convinced.  Her nature appears to be as violent as mine; however she has little remorse for her kills.  To her another kill is just more training to fulfil her purpose; the protection of nature.

What is my purpose?  Fox or rabbit?

[stragen]

The Search for Mother

Where to begin?  I had been thinking about my mother since my arrival at Hlint.  I had finally decided to begin the search for her.   I planned to return the demon infested land of Xantril to begin my search.  I requested two trusted companions, Tiden, Sen, and the hooded Renji join me on this quest.  Tiden is a druid true, and a friend of nature.  I have seen Tiden’s heart in his wiliness to help adventures in need.  Sen is nature is shown in his words of wisdom and his willingness to spend hours crafting arrows in the defence of the city.  Renji is a dark one, keeping his heart in the shadows with his acts; however he is a valiant in battle and knows the way of the wild things.

To these three I disclosed my story [ http://www.layonaraonline.com/forums/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=21780&posts=14&start=1 ].  We were sitting at the camp site just outside of Hlint.  I have just completed my story when a woman in white approached us.  She was clearly a healer of Aeridin.  Her name was Leila.  Leila was travelling to Krandor in Mistone from Northpoint in Dregar.  She overheard my story.  Leila it seems knew of my Master Father Shay-Wan-Low.  It appears that he had visited the Healer of Aeridin in Northpoint.  She gave me hope that I may find what had become of my mother.

Thus we began the journey to Northpoint.  It was an arduous journey by land and sea.  Both Tiden and Sen fell to pirates just outside of Hurm.  We ventured the Rift, and almost died from fear, of the strange creatures lurking within.  Fortunately we were aided by a strange ranger, and some experienced adventurers.

I met with the Healer of Aeridin, Leidanos, in Northpoint.    Leidanos revealed that he was an old friend of Father Shay-Wan-Low.  He knew my mother, and that she had passed away some time ago.  I was saddened with grief.  But then he offered me hope, my mother had another legacy.

Fact Father Shay-Wan-Low had visited him less then a year ago.  This would have been just before he succumbed to age and left this cycle.  Shay-Wan-Low made a secret journey to visit Leidanos and ask his assistance with a patient.  The patient was ill; she was suffering the effects of a drow raid.  Raped and pregnant with a Drow spawn, this patient was my sister.  I have a sister, her name is Seelceviran, and she like me is part Drow.  However it seems she inherited our father’s dark heritage even more strongly then I.

The new rocked me.  I have a sister.  And she is as the Drow; violent and unstable.  But she is also unwell, fractured of mind, and pregnant.  My emotions went from anger, to sadness.  But with Leidanos aid I was able to focus my mind.  Anger and hatred are the cause of violence.  Violence in anger is self perpetuating.  But without anger and hatred it is possible to fight for the cause of good.  My sister had need of me and was able to put aside my hatred.  For I was soon to be an Uncle and the child will be a Drow.  But this child fills my heart with joy.

I have hope and optimism.  I will continue to purse the martial arts, but with a clear calm mind

Seelceviran is in Krandor; under the tender care of the Healer of Krandor.  I leave now to visit my sister.

[stragen]

Family

My sister is as well as can be expected.  Her mind was too fragile for me to reveal who I truely am.  To her I am just another concerned healer.  The healers at Krandor have done a fine job on healing her body.  But her mind, that will require the skills of the Monks of the Broken Circle.   For that I will need to return home, to Amarylla.  This will be a near impossible feat.

Her pregnancy is growing well.  I look foward to becoming and Uncle in three months.

I have found a new balance I no longer feel hatred towards Drow.  I realise that hatred not violence is a cause of evil.  I will continue to fight, and kill when needed.  But I will not let my emotions rule me.

The broken circle of my mind has been healed.

[stragen]

Evil

Two of my dear friends are walking dark paths.

Renji still walks in the shadow.  Working for the theives guild, or prehaps worse.  He killed a young halfling girl merely for some documents to hide a corruption scandal.  But I feel I can redeem him.  If he had confided in me a better outcome could have been had.  He could have gotton his documents, the girl could have lived.  

[stragen]

Farstrider Pack

I have started a company of adventurers, devoted to good.  The founding members are Myself, Tegan and Berilu.  After much debate we have decided on a name for the group, the Farstrider Pack.  Since the initial meeting we have added Sen and Brenden to the pack.  I haven't seen Brenden in a while so he may have left for other realms.

My purpose in forming the group was to create a company to do good in the world.  There are tasks and quests that I cannot hope to complete alone.  In particular returning my sister to sanity.  One of our immmediate goals is to secure lodgeing for the Farstrider Pack in or near Hlint.  To this end we have been mutual cooperating to generate funds.  I have provided all the group members, who need it with elemental weapon enchantments, and rings and amulets of protection.  I return my friends have assisted me in gathering materials.  I think we should soon be able to purchase a house should one become avalible.

However lately I have felt that there may be a higher calling for the Farstriders.  I have heard much on the war against Blood.  I know now where I sit.  I will raise the motion at tonights meeting of the Pack that we offer our assistance to Rhizome in helping save the world.

This would truely be a cause devote to good.

[stragen]

Topaz

Topaz is a useful mineral.  In mineral form it can be used to create a rod of electrical enchanment.  When ground into dust it can be used in the casting of the spell stoneskin.  When cut and polished into a gem and set into a ring of bronze it has properties that will aid a scout.  With this in mind I set forth to aquire some topaz from a cave.  I had promised to make a topaz ring for Berilu.

Tegan, Berilu, Eric, Jareg, and Xan accompanied me into the cave.  The first trip was going smoothly enough until we were mobbed by Orges deep into the cave.  We had to flee for our lives.  Eric fell just outside the cave.

We returned to assist Eric, and were ambushed by Ogres.  A quick peek into the cave revealed that they had setup an ambush, with magic to see invisible.  I planned a assult using elemental magic to clear the enterance.  The Ogres overheard our plans and protected themselves against my flames.  Again I had to flee the cave. We recruited more adventures into the party to storm the cave, Kloss, Barion and Renji.  Our plans fell to mud and more and more of my comrades fell to the cunning Ogres.  

In the end we formed a truce with the Ogres.  I retrived the bodies and raised them from death with the aid of Aeridin's light.

Never again will I risk lives for rocks.  Even one as useful as Topaz.

[stragen]

Farstrider Pack - The Den

After much work the Farstrider Pack have a house to call our own; The Den.  To raise the funds we needed to take a loan from Derrick, and we sold one of the rooms to Pendar for his own use.

Last month Renji was invited and pledged into the Farstriders.  This month we inducted Xan.  Both man bring different skills and abilities.  

I have observed Renji for much time.  Dispite his dark nature he has proven to be a loyal and caring friend.  He never leaves a companion behind, and is willing to risk his own life to protect others.  His words may be different but his actions speak louder.  I think since he witnesses the events with Rizhome and the discovery of the Silver Plant he has gained a new focus.  He still uses the shadows to accomplish his goals, and I may not always agree with his methods.  But his heart is in the right place.  Even if he doesn't think it is.  It is also clear that he and Tegan have great affection for one another.

Xan is simpler, he is a solider and guardian.  He lives to serve, and in service he is able.  He will make an excellent addition to the Farstriders.

As the numbers of the Farstriders grow there is a need to formalise the organisation.  To this end I have begun thinking about a Charter.  I will raise this issue at the next meeting.

May the Farstriders walk in Aeridin's light.

[stragen]

Uncle Jin,

Amazing News!  My sister Seelceviran has given birth to a beautiful little girl, her name is Nienna.  She has dark skin and the silver hair, her eyes are lavander not red.  I am captivated.  All my time is taken up with the care of my sister and my niece.  I will not have as much time for the farstriders and my adventure companions.  We travel to the temple of Aeridin in North Point to bless the baby and then onto Vale.  I will live with elves for a while.  Hopefully my elven will improve with practice.  My sisters mental health is stable but low.  There is little I can do to improve it, but I can look after her physically and comfort her when the sadness and anger is too great to bare.

I have left Tegan in charge of the Farstriders.  I will settle my debts and leave for Vale in the morrorow.

Uncle Jin!