Author Topic: My Life spilled onto parchment, the Diary of Ash Willo (Read 2162 times)

Zelda1 · « **Reply #40 on:** July 14, 2006, 11:40:49 AM »

Ash opens a new leather book and puts on the cover "It's a new day." She whispers to herself, "May Folian guide my quill" She closes her eyes a few seconds and takes a deep breath. She scribbles on the first page, "Hope, Faith, Love, Honor.. what do these words exactly mean?"

Zelda1 · « **Reply #41 on:** July 14, 2006, 11:17:57 PM »

I'm doubling my efforts for Roldem.. I went to a meeting today and I was suprised that not many showed up. Miss Jennara,Lady Brisbane, Miss Lin'da, Nepp, Kyle, Ferrit, Daniel (whom made a fool of himself. He called Miss Jen, "Master Jennara"), Caighd, and some youngin named Jaleel or whatever.. The survivors need training, teaching, sheltered, fed and much more.

After much talking, Miss Jen gave some bread to the survivors in Tibum. There was a little boy there in rags. He look up at me and I smiled back. He had the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen.. I wanted to hug him so badly.. but I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I've never spent much time around children, but I've always wanted to.. I went back after we travelled to Rodez with Miss Jennara. He was still there, rags and all. I gave him a blanket and some roast and wished him well.. I hope he's alright, I might go check on him soon. Folian and Glenn's spirit watch over him..

I know I'm crazy.. but maybe one day I would like to have a child to call my own.. ehh.. in an afterlife er somethin'. Or not, you never know these days..
**She looks out into the distance across the mountains and smiles a bit*

Zelda1 · « **Reply #42 on:** July 16, 2006, 09:59:53 AM »

Another day, another unpleasant visit. She won't take me so soon, I'll just be more careful.. if that's even possible without living life on the sidelines. I would never bring myself to do that., life wouldn't be worth living if I did. When my time comes I'll accept it.. no questions asked. Maybe I'm just not good enough to live, but I'll do as much as I can to give back whatever I have taken that measures up to a eight strands of my soul.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #43 on:** July 17, 2006, 07:23:07 PM »

Curiousity. Desire. Lust. Nepp.

Sho.. He.. I w-w...l- Gah. I can't say it. Or write it. I can't think about it either.

On another note, I found a horse I like.. one that doesn't scare me. She has a calming effect on me.. it's truly odd. I would so love to have her. Maybe I'll learn how to ride a horse soon..

Zelda1 · « **Reply #44 on:** July 20, 2006, 07:52:21 AM »

I have my horse.. I named her Iretya, Elven for Hope. With my horse, I saw the Soul Mother for the last time before she takes me. I cant go yet.. I still have so much to do.

I got the ugre to walk last night. So I told Iretya to stay beside Axo's house..because I had no clue where I was going. Nepp followed though.. but I didn't mind too much. I jumped into the portal and headed straight for Arabel for some reason. When I got there, Iretya showed up not ten seconds later. I think my horse is plane touched.. but she IS a stubborn mare. I reluctantly tied her up in the grass and started my walk with Nepp.

I ended up at High Lake, the lake I was inspired by..before the war. I curled up in the grass and talked with Nepp for the longest time, which brings me to my question: What do I want in life? but that question can be answered later I suppose. Eventually I ended up sitting in the water overlooking the waterfalls. Then my promise hit me like a brick wall... Har. I dont break promises. I never have, never will. So... yea. I wont write a word about it.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #45 on:** July 22, 2006, 02:34:44 PM »

I'm still alive. Obviously. And I've slowed down my life enormously. Soon I'll be fat if I keep sitting on my arse all day, though it is good baking practice., which, it turn, will make me even more fat in the long run. Oh, my new goal in life is to make a bow for Wren. Glenn never got the chance to make him one. And wood has always hated me so I haven't had much work with it. I will make him a bow if its the last thing I do.

On another note, I was confronted with my past this morning. My sister.. the only blood relative I have left.. is in Hlint. I know its her. She introduced herself as Dust to a woman named Corba. I know no other elves named Dust, especially ones that look like me...

Zelda1 · « **Reply #46 on:** July 24, 2006, 10:28:20 AM »

Day kazillion of not being six feet under. I'm bored as hells. I cant do ANYTHING.. and its driving me completely mad. I've talked to my sister, helped her along. She scares me. I wonder if I can get her to put color into her wardrobe, but I doubt it. She has a hard head just like I do. Note to self: Must beat up Wren.

Well, I'm going to be a mother. And Nepp.. I'm not sure how he's taking it. He seems happy enough, but I dont know if I am. I need to talk to Anna, she's been the closest thing to a mother to me and I love her to pieces, she always seems to know what to say.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #47 on:** August 05, 2006, 09:54:41 AM »

Ash sighs heavily as she walks across Xantril, finally heading home after months. She cringes slightly, holding her belly now bigger then she is. She mumbles "I should kill Nepp.. too bad I miss him so much."

Zelda1 · « **Reply #48 on:** August 09, 2006, 01:50:43 PM »

Ash lays in the grass in front of Jareg in Fort Miritix, writing in her book until Jareg wakes up.
My life has been absolutly chaotic the past couple months. Gets me worried that I've been so careless with the children still inside of me. I'll start acting more responsibly.. since Igave myself a big scare not too long ago by drinking.
I miss Glenn more then ever now. He would knock some sense into me for sure, and stick by my side when I'm bored. If I could just see him one more time, I'd give my life for it. Oh well that will come sooner or later.
I miss hanging with Jaregand all my other friends. And the only reason I am is because Kiva isn't around to send me home. I know he means well, but it's driving me crazy not being able to do anything but sit on my rear all day. I'd rather go out like Glenn did then keep going on like this. And Tash just popped out of no where.. scared me half to death.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #49 on:** August 14, 2006, 09:46:42 AM »

Ash deeply meditated on the cliffs of Folian, curled up as she mumbled slightly and rolled over. "Ash," a familiar face looked her over and grinned slightly. "It's so good to see your face again. And wow, how many pies have you eaten girl?" The wood elf sat down beside her in the cliffs and smiled.
Ash awoke in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. Slowly, tears began to well up in her eyes ,and slowly made their way down her cheek. She ruffled through her hair absentmindedly and closed her eyes, attempting to go back to meditation, though it wasn't much use afterher rude awakening.

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Zelda1 · « **Reply #50 on:** August 16, 2006, 10:45:02 AM »

Ash awakes to the sound of crying, something she is not nearly used to. Her own heart races as she jolts up and runs over to the cribs with tears running down her own face as she does. She picks up the crying baby and wraps him in a blaket. She takes her journal out of a chest, then goes to sit by the fireplace.
I am a mother.
Ash craddles her baby and gets him back to sleep, then rests her head on the back of the couch, trying to get some rest herself. The words were still ringing in her head from her last dream.
"Ash, oh they're so beautiful, what are their names? When can I make them bows? Were they born in the name of the Longstrider?" The same wood elf looked her over and smiled softly while patting her on the back. Then was when she awoke.
Ash sighs and wipes the tears rolling down her face. She smiles at her newborn and puts him back beside his sisters, then covers him with a silk blanket. She kisses each of them and leaves them in the care of her friends while she goes out to walk.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #51 on:** August 17, 2006, 04:58:23 PM »

Ash looks over the Grey Peaks, searching for any signs ovf movement, and smiling slightly to herself. She spotted an ogre and grinned. She drew her bow and an arrow. Ash aimed for his head, with her compound bow cam resting against the side of her face and let the arrow stream through the air. The arrow went straight through the ogre's head and came out the other side. Ash rolled back her shoulders and smiled.
"I still have it," she whispered into the breeze.
She traveled down the side of the mountain to the bottom where the undead usually roam. She drew her swords, and loomed over the zombies waiting for her oppurtune moment to strike. She jumped from the hill and plunged her longsword into the zombie's chest. She then battled them with ease, as she had before her pregnancy, with grace and strength. She smiled again and brushed her loose hair out of her face.
"I stillll have it," she smiled wider and left the mountains happily.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #52 on:** August 21, 2006, 05:46:33 PM »

The wood elf smiled and sat down beside Ash on the cliffs once more as she looked out into Folian's forest. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his hood drop as he did.
"You don't know how much I miss you," he held her close as he whispered in her ear. "You have changed so much, from a shy and quiet ranger to a master of steath with a good heart and a free spirt. And then to a mother who still has dreams and desires, but holds her children in first priority everyday she is still left breathing."
Again, Ash broke out of meditation in a cold sweat with her heart pounding. She takes a sip of water and takes her journal from her pack.
I can't stand it anymore. I only meditate when I must, and I am tired enough with three children on my hands. I miss him so much.. if.. if I JUST would have.. done what my heart told me instead of my mixed up mind..
Tears roll down her face and smudge the parchment she writes on. She writes simply
What COULD have been.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #53 on:** August 23, 2006, 11:04:35 AM »

Ash looks over her children smiling. Their personalities were very evident now, even at a young age. She writes down descriptions of them in her journal.
Tearis the pouty one, always giving her brother or sister a funny look if they do anything new or out of place. Her grey eyesare beautiful, almost like mineonce were. And her hairiswhite like her father's.
Peace's name fits him pefectly. He always sits back and watches Destiny and Tear bicker pver things. He almost giggled as they fought over a toy block once, clapping his hands and smiling. He has lavendar eyes and black hair, but he does havemy smile.
Destiny is always finding a quiet corner and picking up a book. She is very quiet, not ever demanding much attention. Her black eyes and white hair always seem to look perfect, never all bunched up or flying everywhere. She is usually calm, unless Tear tried to take a book away from her.
They are five months old today, and are maturing very quickly. I hope the slow down; I can't take this all at once!

Zelda1 · « **Reply #54 on:** August 31, 2006, 03:11:16 PM »

Ash looks inthe mirror and blinks.She mumbles to herself in short questions, as if expectng the mirror to answer.
"Am I the type to settle with what I have or strive for what I want? If I settle with what I have, can I just keep my mind from wandering, please? Am I still that carefree girl in the forest or the worrisome mother at home with the children? Could I please have someone to talk to.. that might actually.. listen for once? Or underdtand at all? Like.. Glenn maybe?"
She sighs and walks out to the forest and climbs up a tree. She holds her head and tries to think. "Who could I talk to?" she occasionally mumbles while lost in thought.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #55 on:** September 03, 2006, 11:17:55 PM »

Ash sat on top of one of the many Rolling Hills, looking over and passed the others writing down a few thoughts while she had peace and quiet.
I talked with Rod the other day. Aralin for a little while too, I think I embarassed him though. He said he had to go, he had "business" to take care of. So, I talked with Rod for a while, about many things. I completely spoke my mind, and I made him turn pink a couple times. Funny.. I never thought a wood elf could blush. But then again, I could think about some of the things I said to him and make myself blush. It was really nice to talk to him. I sorta always thought he was a grump, but he has a really huuuuge heart. I'd really like to--the entry abruptly ends here--
---
Ash smiled to herself while sitting on 250 Half Lake's rooftop. She looked like she was about to jump in the air and start to do backflips.
Oh gods.. just when I started to write I heard foot steps behind me. Just BARELY heard them too;I'm luckyI did. I mean.. it was just my sort of luck. Just when I started to right about Rodlin, he showed up behind me, bleeding a lot like Glenn did. Now I know whereGlenn got it from.Ohh.. I hope he wasn't looking at what I wrote.. well it was getting cold and dark anyway.
He invited me into his house, which I might add, looks like a mini forest all in its own. So we went over by thenice warm fire on some comfy cushions and started talking..about many things again. Mostly love and mistakes we'd made in the past.I know I've made many, but he hasn't made a single one yet. Anyway, yet again he amazed me, by how much wisdom he has. And he's a total hotty to top it off;I actually told him that too. But he got his revenge in the end. I took my hood off, obviously something I rarely do. And that bugger made me blush! He is really a nice guy and deserves Miss Right;I hope he finds her soon. He seems kinda lonely or depressed.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #56 on:** September 05, 2006, 02:26:53 PM »

Ash sat calmly on the edge of the Serpent Mountains, though thoughts were racing through her head faster than she could put them onto parchment, so she just spoke them in a whisper, with there was no one to hear.
"When wood elves make you blush.. youthink there's something there. When they smile at you and your heart sort of flutters..you probably will guess something's there. Butwhen you think about it, you think, Is this really happening? Tome of all people? and everything points to yes. But then comes the spark..and it's either scary or.. desirable."
She curls up looking down over the mountains in the darkness.
"I'm in deep this time, aren't I? But then again.. I really want to be.."

Zelda1 · « **Reply #57 on:** September 07, 2006, 06:08:03 PM »

I have the feeling I was being played like a fiddle for some reason, or that he led me on a leash likeso many have done before.It's all so confusing.. did I do the right thing is the biggest question. I let my guard down too easily sometimes, then's when I make my bsd decisions. But he's just so..nice.. and makes me spark, he wouldn't do that purposely, would he?Havefaith in all until they prove you wrong, right?Maybe I'll see him soon. I hope so.. he's almost all I can think about now. Someone that gives me hope..
Ash looks down and smiles at a boar wandering around. She slides out of the tree and pets him.
"Have you ever been played like that boar? I mean.. during mating season and all it must happen a lot. It's like your being teased but it makes you even more determined..."
The boar looks up at her and oiks. Ash nods and continues to babble on to the boar.

Zelda1 · « **Reply #58 on:** September 09, 2006, 01:04:54 AM »

Ash wipes the tears from her eyes and picks up her three children sleeping. She puts one on her back, one on her front and the other she carries in her arms. She looks down as she walks slowly to Leilon and uses an old key to get into 124 Leilon. She puts them down beside Nepp in his bed and leaves a note on his table.The notes reads:
Nepp. Here they are. I can't take care of them at the moment, alright? Amazing the things you will do sometimes, you would know about that. I'm sorry if their a pain or a burden, it's your turn. Takes two remember? Take care of them.. and yourself.
-Ash

Zelda1 · « **Reply #59 on:** September 09, 2006, 09:22:38 AM »

Ash sighs as she walks into 124 again. The house is silent, obvious that Jareg wasn't around. She keptto the walls and the shadows as she entered the middle room on the left. Her childrenwere there to her amazement, deep in meditation, just like Nepp. She gently picked them up, careful not to wake them and wrote on the bottom of her other note before taking them back to Hlint.
Thank you Nepp. I knew you could do it without hurting yourself. Sorry to go all spastic on you. Come find me soon. Take care.