The Memoirs of Rhynnala Asantiani

[LynnJuniper]

   The pandemonial ride is coming to an abrupt end. We can already feel the distance put between our horses and ourselves. The bonds are breaking, and I am willing to let them break. I long for normalcy. Or whatever normalcy I had before this whole thing started…with, of course, a few added bonuses.
   
The last bit of information,(I think) we would needed started as idol chit chat between Ireth, Grympint, Kyle and myself. I was ecstatic, I was still smiling, grinning giggling humming, you know, the usual when you’re madly in love.
   

Kyle asked me what was wrong with me. I played coy and wouldn’t say. Finally he just came right out and asked if anything had happened between Freldo and I.  I said I didn’t kiss and tell. I think Grympint almost died that day. I couldn’t help but laugh. Freldo and Grym have a unique relationship, and seeing Grympint’s reaction to the information was enough to have me fall over in laughter.
   

Well..that is until Anger and Fear paid a visit, and eventually mentioned something about a bardic guild called The Ineffable Chord. I don’t know how I remembered that the Ineffable Chord was located in Roldez, but I did. Which brought us back to the very place where it all started.
   

We were accompanied by those such as Ketil, Treana, Ireth and her new boyfriend Geldar, Ael, Jeremey Steel, and a few others. I sent a letter to Freldo telling him where I would be, but thankfully he found me before the letter even found him. He was able to accompany us…
   

So upon arriving in Roldez through Morkaden’s tower, we asked a guard where we could find the rubble of the Guild Hall. He said to look in one corner of the abolished city, but warned us of the Slaadi that seemed to have taken over the place. Great…Slaadi. I guess that would make sense though, because Slaadi hail from the plane of Pandemonium. Mith taught me that. Well, we barely made it out alive from the Slaadi. Many fell, but I managed , in haste to save Freldo, Treana and myself with invisibility spells.    
   

After everyone was restored to their natural health, Ireth and I noticed a hooded man at the entrance to the guild; the only building that didn’t seem so demolished. We resolved to talk to the man ourselves, and after getting a kiss of reassurance, we walked up to the man. He seemed completely insane…a tormented soul. He attacked us before we could even utter a single word..Somehow, we survived against him as well…And that led us to begin searching through the rubble. It was right before Kyle Pandorn found the amulet that Master Ozymandias arrived to tell us the last bit of information we were to receive. I have to admit, I was a bit distracted by the arrival of Addison, but I did get the basic gist. We must , all in all, bind Insanity to the Amulet and then give the amulet back to Koralawyn to wear. There is also much having to due with Aranna’s real mother and the Celestial bloodline. Kyle and I seem to think that a new guardian of Celestia can not be Christened since the lake of Tarn is polluted. I’ve been thinking this for a while now and just now managed to get the others to listen.
   

So now Ireth holds the amulet, and we return. I don’t see why I couldn’t hold the amulet. That made me angry at first..but I suppose Ireth is stronger than I, so it would make logical sense for her to hold it. That’s just fine…
   

Upon returning, we found Mith, who had turned into a giant and was rampaging around Hlint. We took little to no concern of this, but Freldo and I managed to keep an eye on him instead of going to prepare ourselves for the battle in Pandemonium we are to face soon….


I want Freldo with me. I will not stop him from coming. I must tell him that. I want him by my side.  I will protect him and make sure nothing will happen.

[LynnJuniper]

   It’s over…and a giant burden has been lifted off of the Planes, off of Layonara, off of myself and the other riders…But I can not help but feel a bit sad. Those horses…I’ll miss Anger terribly.. But I don’t think I ever want to ride another again, normal or not. And If I do, I’m naming it Tranquility.
   

I will just delay from the story a moment to mention what happened the night before, at the Leilon Arms. It seemed Addison’s Indulgence had gotten worse than ever, and Treana literally had to lie to her about Cole to get her away from Freldo. I was grateful. I didn’t want her to do something foolish she would regret, and I didn’t want him getting hurt. Despite that though, the night was fun. Seeing Kyle and Ferrit all dressed up enjoying an evening together made me smile, and  made my mind drift to something I won’t even phrase here. Who knew Master Plen was a skilled dancer!? I’ll have to admit that was interesting. Also, Jharl so nicely scribed me a copy of his original piece The Fighter and The Mage.
   

After helping Jharl and Freldo clean up in Leilon, we, and a few others took a small exploration to the bottom of the Haven minds. Freldo, Treana and I hoped to prepare ourselves as best we could for the long trek to Pandemonium ahead.
   

But after we got back, I found I couldn’t bring myself to leave Freldo’s side..to say good night. I wound up accompanying him back to Leilon to fall asleep in his room. Poor thing, I woke up and found him sleeping on the chair. That must have done a number on his back.
   

Skip to about midafternoon. About twenty to thirty of us , so it seemed , gathered in Leilon to discuss the plans and the planes.

Mentionable faces (Not counting the six riders, Treana and Freldo); Kyle, Dur’Thak.,  Abigail, Angela Swann, Ash, Eledan, Ozymandias, Remiel,

   
We took a portal to Rodez, and crossed the path to the cave. In front of the Cave, Freldo and I watched as Ozymandias preformed a ritual that would ultimately bind Insanity to the amulet, and cause Koralawyn to be bound once she slipped it round her neck.) That ritual had to be the single most interesting thing I have ever seen. My only regret is that I did not get to participate in it. I suppose a more experienced mage was the better choice though.


   With that over, we made our way through the caves to the portal leading to Pandemonium. The Slaadi had made an agreement to leave us be, so it wasn’t as difficult as it could’ve been. So We all stepped through the Portal leading to what I thought would be our doom.
   

There, we met a servant of Pandemonium of a lovely white hue named Slorg. He took an instant liking to Miss Angela Swann and I thought it was funny to see Abi jealous of a giant monster. Well, with him we traveled through the planes. The winds would have driven me mad if Anger had not resided inside of me. I stuck close to Treana and Freldo to make sure they were alright, reminding them of what made them strong whenever I needed to.
   

Then, we arrived at a tower. But that wasn’t the weird part. Near the tower..was a tavern. Yes , A Tavern. When Freldo mentioned getting a drink I thought he had gone insane. It scared me..But sure enough, there right in front of me, a pub , lead by Slaadi and Illithid and ghostly…things. It was ..dare I say, Fun. Despite me being cautious to eat or drink anything with the fear of getting stuck in Pandemonium. Ozymandias dismissed that belief, saying it was a common misconception.
   

After a bit of fun at the Tavern, we had no choice but to venture on into the Madhouse. Through its corridors we traveled, sadly going up against the deranged patients, and to my disbelief, the others. Treana for a moment lost her sanity and started to attack Kyle! I had to remind her of her friends, and the ones she loved.
   

Then we made our way through the catacombs, to the Solitary confinement, where we heard Aranna’s screams. Then it happened. I fell for the first time. I awoke though, to find the most horrible sight. Freldo tried to keep me from seeing, but I did anyway. Mith’s grave. I shook, I screamed, but  most of all I felt for Anna, and ran to hug her. I felt the Anger rise in me, and focused it towards my task. It was there , we took a small break.

It was there he told me he loved me.

Needless to say much of the anger, much of the sadness and fear I felt evaporated at those words.  Despite where I found myself, I was oddly happy. And then Mith returned, so we moved on. I sighed in relief and can only imagine how happy Anna must have felt to have Mith back. (Oh, Forgot to mention, Mith was his normal grumpy self through this).
   

We went forward once more, and I must have found myself going to far ahead because I reached the front of the line and promptly ran back. Not before , however Freldo ran to find me in my almost invisible form, and got attacked  by an explosion of some sort. When I found my senses and notice my surroundings I dropped to my knees. I was paralyzed, I could not move no matter how many people edged me forward. I did not care about anything else. The world, the planes, Aranna …at that moment they all meant nothing.
   

Then…the strangest thing, for the first time. Freldo rose without a Raise Dead spell…without becoming semi transparent, just …rising…As  I stood I swore I saw….but I wasn’t so sure then…
   

Ahead, further and further to the final turn. I could hear Koralawyn’s screams, her laughter, her taunts. Ozymandias made himself seem foolish enough to return the necklace to her, and we followed suit in believing it. But the binding was delayed, and Koralawyn unleashed an attack that wiped out many, including myself…The next thing I remember was Freldo kneeling near my unconscious body, and Lady Keaira’tynen  standing before us. I knew it was her before, who raised Freldo, and she had come to Ireth’s and my own aid now as well. Words could not described how much I had wanted to thank her, although I stuck with a simple word of gratitude. She nodded in a way customary to her and was off. I can’t help but think now…and I know she won’t feel the same way, so it’s just me. Anyone who helps me that much, I more than just respect. I consider a friend. I consider Lady Kea as my friend.
   

Into a tightly enclosed space we next made our way. To find Koralawyn standing , bound, next to Elezandor, and Aranna..Then..the most terrible thing. Koralawyn killed Aranna..with one swift movement of her sword…There was nothing we could do..we were in anguish, barely hearing Ozymandias’ words. “Call your horses”
   

We, the five riders, did so. And as we called them they ran forth and disappeared into Elezandor, who became taller with each horse that returned to his body. It was then I started crying, then when I felt Anger being removed from my being forever. I cried.
   Next thing I knew, we were near the Celestial lake of Tarn, and a woman was there as well. Not Aranna, but her true mother. Well, Aranna was there as well, but the oddest thing..She had no wings. I understood before it was even explained. Aranna was mortal, and would go live on Layonara with Ireth, her mother. Koralawyn was bound, Elezandor returned to his rightful position, and Aranna’s mother would resume guardianship of  Celestia. Oh! And Slorg , who was killed by Koralawyn was brought back to life and allowed to live In Celestia.
   

We were allowed a look around, and I, thinking the waters to be dangerous would not go near them at first. That’s when Aranna’s mother splashed me. I swear on the Gods, what is it with me and lakes, or ponds, or puddles..or bodies of water in general. They seem to have it in for me.
   

Kissing by the great Lake of Tarn in Celestia was amazing, and romantic I shall say no more..

And then…Eledan gave us riders (Plus Angela) each a lily from Celestia to remind us of the place. I took my own form of remembrance from a tree, and had a drink of the Lake water of Tarn to fill myself with the place. For there, I felt…oddly home. Maybe there is indeed  Aasimar blood coursing through my veins. Perhaps I’ll never know.

   And then we were home. Hlint…home…could almost make me laugh if it wasn’t true…

[LynnJuniper]

Not really much to write about, but I will keep a few short notes to remember what's been going on...

1) I love Freldo with all my heart..We've been spending more and more time together and its been more or less wonderful

2) I hate Xeenites. I really do. Especially the ones that come near me. Oh! And I altered an outfit for myself that would make any Xeenite gape. Yes I'm -that- good. Wow, I sound quite confident do I not? Too bad I'm too shy to wear it. Well, around anyone but -him- really. There's no reason to...

3) Overheard a conversation I shouldnt've a few days back. Something about Ozymandias and a meeting with a Drow named Fladiir on Bone Hill in Rilara....Who knows?

4) Ireth got attacked by a member of a different Drow group. As soon as one thing ends another begins I swear to the Gods....I promised her I would help her by looking in the Arcane Libraries about someone by thename of Eli'shar. Atleast we have something to go by this time...I think I'll take Freldo along to help..despite not being allowed to share the library without premission with those not in the Alliance. I'll find a way around that rule.

5) Remiel creeps me out..And I don't quite know why..

6) Grym almost made me cry today...But I don't believe him, so it's alright.

[LynnJuniper]

I would like to write about the recent happenings in the Broken, or , as Ozymandias now calls it, The Saundered Forest. It’s so odd…What happened is this. First, the whole world seemed to stop, and when it started up again, the forest was in utter disarray. It had been destroyed, and the grave in the center that I had just been expressing curiosity towards had been defiled. That’s not the worst of it. The Undead are gone. And that would seem to be a good thing, except for the fact that the undead were easy opponents, and now they have been replaced with Treants, giant deadly vines and Gods know what else.
   

All I know of the matter is that there was once a man named Shadow who created great bridges on the Serpent Isles. This man was in love with one of the seven sisters, Sellian or something of that nature, I am absolutely terrible with names. Now, with this grave upturned, Sellian can not communicate with Shadow anymore and is furious. I know that she may try to look for some type of plant to regain communication with Shadow. I know this plant being upturned could destroy all of nature on Layonara, and I think that perhaps that may be exactly what the one behind this is hoping for.
   

That being said, I found myself on a boat heading towards the Dragon and Serpent Isles, to see these bridges. All together the group was as follows:



Annalee, Freldo, Mith, Maev, Kharl, and Remiel.


Well, the travel wasn’t safe. I’m afraid I got myself attacked by some ..bird..like..things. Which made little sense because I was fairly invisible at the time.  Well, Freldo sought to get the birds to stop attacking me by creating a diversion…making them attack him instead. He fell there, and I felt terrible. I did not want to go on. I wanted to stay there..but then that would have made his death for naught. Annalee called it a noble thing for him to have done. I agree, and must tell him how sorry I am, and how much I appreciate it once I see him again.


   The bridges themselves were a true sight to be seen. Remiel said that new bridges were made every time something majorly altering happens in the world of Layonara. At the end of one of the bridges , was a door.. a door that made it feel as if my heart was being torn from the rest of my body. And yet, I couldn’t help but wish to walk through the door , enter the other side. Annalee had to force me back…Had to warn me that If I went through the door there would be no going back.


   So after a small exploration there, we were brought home. Maev fell on the way back and my heart went out for her as well. Despite being a paladin, I rather like her. She has never done anything ill to me, I just wish her and Treana would get along…


   Well, Mith decided to stay behind with Annalee, and Kharl left when we got back to Fort Velensk, leaving me alone with Remiel… There’s something about that man that slightly unsettles me, and slightly compels me. Perhaps it is because he is an Aasimar…atleast, I think it to be so. We talked of many things on the way to the Arcane Alliance Tower to use the portal back to Hlint. We spoke ultimately on how hard it could be sometimes to be different, to be shunned, and also how others shouldn’t talk of the hardships of those around them. I thought that was because people can often be hypocritical, or don’t know what it’s like to be in another’s shoes. Remiel said it was because all people are different..and I think I completely understand….doesn’t make me any less unsettled…..


Also, I'm afraid I have some apologizing to do to a Xeenite priestess. I offered her some coin, said she earned it..I will not talk any more of that here.

---
EDIT: I meant Kharl all along...for some reason I keep mixing up the names Kharl , Jharl (which is understandable), and keep adding Cole in there for some weird reason..x_x I can't make sense of it either. Blame my brain, I just got outta calculus -_-;

[LynnJuniper]

We’re always closest  by water…..

   It’s almost uncanny to believe that something wonderful could come out of something that started out all wrong. I am a flawed creature; imperfection radiates off of my skin and is reflected in my thoughts, actions and emotions. It shows itself in scares, in scorches, and in the cruel  deep lines left over from the lashing of a whip. It manifests it’s self  in anger, in confusion and in fear. I was not born the way one should have been. I was not raised the way one should have been. I was not cared for the way one should have been. Until very recently, I was not loved the way one should have been.
   

   It was on the hills , by a waterfall near Blackford Castle that I realized none of it mattered. It was in the time that was to come after, that I learned the true meaning of love’s actions. It was then I understood the difference of the wrongs that Saebhel done onto me, and the wonderful thing called love.  It was in that room where I discovered that past could sear itself from present to create a future full of happiness.  It was in that moment of rapture that I lost what my history  had made of me  and regained myself.

I am as a phoenix, born again from it’s ashes, filled with the fire and passion for life and love.

And if I must still stand against my past, for a final encounter, to finally and fully overcome, then so be it…

[LynnJuniper]

//Letter sent via LORE//

Dear Ash,
   
   I hope fervently that this somehow reaches you, no matter where you may be. First and foremost I want to apologize for everything I may have put you through, From Anger and the horses, from my relapse into insanity and my past, and especially those things that came after; for I have nothing to blame those upon besides my own negative qualities.
   I was upset, Highly upset. I’ll give you a look onto how I saw my life in the last few days.

1) Got hopped up on Xeenite Wine.
2) Was made to run around in barely nothing around Stupid Paladin and a bunch of other guys
3) had to endure listening to a story that turned out to be only barely true about the one I love and some stupid Xeenite harlot. (whose actually not that bad really) that was not only told to me, but to everyone that would listen.
-------------
5) Had the business of what I do in my own time publicly announced for everyone to hear.

   So Yes, I was upset, I wanted some time away from you so that I wouldn’t say or do something I regret. I want so badly to consider you friend, and in that I tried to protect you from myself. Foolish of me, you don’t need my protection from anything. That’s why I was so upset you were following me. It all goes back to something Miss Ferrit said to me one day. I refuse to accept or listen to help from my friends and it makes them feel useless or hated. If I did that to you then I am terribly terribly sorry.
   That reminds me, If Ireth said anything to you, I’m sorry for that as well. She said she did not want to see me so upset, she is one of my dearest friends and we have been through a lot together so I told her what was wrong. She asked me if she should tell you off for me. I told her not to at first, and then added that there was nothing I could really do to stop her, but still made it known that I really didn’t want her to. I didn’t stick around to see weather or not she did…

   Look Ash, I’m sorry about anything that may have happened to you, or anything I’ve induced. But…It’s not really my fault how things turned out. Was I not supposed to Stand my Ground? Was I to just step aside from something I care deeply about? I’m sorry for being too selfish to do that….

   I still consider you friend..but if you need some time away from me (A few forevers usually works for most people that dislike me) that’s fine too…

~Rhynn

[LynnJuniper]

*Scribed in the most beautiful handwriting in her journal*
 
 Past: Rofirein The Dragon.
 
     In This orientation , this card means a favorable resolution to a past conflict. The gold may represent clarity and triumph, or a union
 
 Present: The Hanged Man
 
     In this way, the hanged man represents a loss, perhaps a lack of commitment. Because of your triumph, clarity, and union in the past, you will sacrifice something, perhaps even subconsciously. Within your choice of union or clarity lies a sacrifice.
 
 Future: The Orb.
 
     The moon. In this orientation means imagination or illusions. Perhaps a misunderstanding or inability to see things clearly. It may also represent a loss of control. The Sacrifice you made in the present may deal with the unconscious mind.
 
 Summary:
 
     With the union and Triumph you faced in your past, there will be a sacrifice made in the present. If you can discover and know when this sacrifice has been too much , and be able to stop it before you loose control of your life.
 
 ------
 
 *In her regular print*
 
     It’s amazing. How did Kali know?
 
     
 
     It all started with a card reading in the Leilon Arms. A simple thing really, but one that would come to mean so much more to me. At the time I was afraid, I thought these cards were telling me I would loose him, but Now I have come to realize they didn’t mean him at all, but something quite different.
 
 
     Through a talk with two Halflings whom I consider close friends now: Triba and Acacea, and then later the once Corathite priestess, now Paladin of Lucinda Matilda, I’ve come to realize the error of my ways.  They talked of the Arcane Alliance, and how its members seek to abuse the weave for power and destruction , rather than learn from it and embrace its gifts. They told me that the Arcane Alliance was connected to Black Wizards, and that I should not be blind to this fact. They also told me to be cautious of my friend Mith, who has dealings with Corathites himself….I saw it..I witnessed it…I was subjected to their overbearing enchantment…why did I not have clarity sooner?
 
 
     And that was when I came to know what Kali’s Cards really meant.
 
 
 
 Past:
 
 Triumph -- I overcame Saebhel
 Clarity -- I finally figured out the wrongs of Saebhel’s ways.
 Union -- My Union with Mith as my teacher, and my joining of the Arcane Alliance.
 
 Present:
 
 Lack of Commitment:
 When I originally came to Hlint, I sought a Lucindite to learn of the ways of the Weave….Through everything that’s happened with Pandemonium, Anger, and everything else, I have forgotten this. I have lost my commitment.
 
 Sacrifice:
 I feel that I have already sacrificed some of the good within me. I felt myself loosing it to the darkness sometimes, and at others it was subconscious. Not to say it was an unpleasant change. It’s small enough now that I can keep myself the way I am without delving any further into it.
 
 Future:
 
 Illusions/Loss of Clarity: Acacea , and Triba ..Even Matilda told me I was blind to the ways of the Arcane Alliance. They sought to be rid of my illusions
 
 
 
 Summary:
 
 When overcoming Saebhel in my past, I found Mith and the Arcane Alliance. I made a sacrifice of my greater goodness, and lost my commitment to the temple of Lucinda. Thanks To Matilda, Acacea, and Triba, I learned of my sacrifice, and know now that it has gone too far. Because of this I was able to turn everything around and decide to go back to my goal of getting affirmed in the temple of Lucinda. I was able to stop the sacrifice before I lost control of my life..
 
 
 Thank you Acacea, Triba and Freldo. Thank you Matilda. Thank you Kali.
 
 
 
 ----------
 
 All OOC From This Point On:
 
 
     Rhynn has come to have taken a 360. When I first brought her into this world, I had planned for her to become a close minded Lucindite. It seems that , because of other players, Rhynn was side tracked and seduced by the ways of power and ambition and joined Mith and the Arcane Alliance. I enjoyed playing out her dark side, and don’t intend to simply delete the impact that this has had on her. Rhynn will still threaten those who come to be in her or her friends way in the most gruesome and frightening of ways. Mith and the Arcane Alliance have given her a dark side that Rhynn chooses not to shake off.
 
     It was originally against my plan now to make Rhynn go back to being Affirmed. But It seems that I have also been caught up in playing with the cards I was dealt. Quite literally maybe, in accordance to Kali’s reading.
 
 In The long run, I’d like to see where this leads Rhynn: With a mix of her darkness, and the goodness that will come of being affirmed into the temple of Lucinda.
 
 The only thing I do not know is how this will effect the Quest I planned for Rhynn in meeting Saebhel. While not being a part of the Arcane Alliance, Rhynn is still loyal to Mith, through and through. She still wants Mith to accompany her in a trip to see Saebhel and to kill him. it’s a bit of her darkness that she will not ever shake off. She wants that man dead, and she wants to give Mith the opportunity to help her…
 
 Even if this bond with Mith has to remain a secret from the temple of Lucinda, or everyone else, she intends to keep him as her friend and mentor as well, If he will have it.
 
 
 As an OOC Shout Out, I’d Like To Thank Kali and ask her if she’s a real card reader?
 
 That’s Two Characters now that you’ve called perfectly Kali. Both Kailyn and Rhynn had their cards read by you and they came out perfectly according to their character.
 
 I just wanted to say thanks.

[LynnJuniper]

//Sent Via Lore//
 
  Dear Lady Lia,        I am probably already taking up your time, so I will keep this short. I want to apologize for my rudeness, and for my rushing. I also want to thank you for sending Connor to talk to me. He told me much that I internalized, and in the end realized that you were both right. I can become amongst the affirmed and still hold my rank in The Alliance. I want to thank you for this information.  Now for the apology. I acted rashly. For me, Lucinda comes first, even before the Alliance, and my wish to be affirmed may have blinded my reason. Also, when you told me I was locked into that contract, I felt..Trapped. I felt as if I was back with my Master Saebhel, and so it caused me to say and do things I would not have normally done. For this I wish to apologize. None of you are Master Saebhel. None of you would hurt me.   If possible, I do wish to remain in the Alliance, and become affirmed. Seeing as you send Connor to talk to me, I can only assume that is your wish as well.        I thank you for your time and patience.    ~Rhynn
 
  ------
 
  scribed in her journal, in a quick writing.
 
 
  If I can trust no one in this place, then I will just have to become as underhanded as they are.
 
  on a different page, in normal writing.
 
  The last few days have been fun. Addison, Cole, Freldo and I took a trip to the Barbarian , and Black Ice Isles. We also, with a bigger group headed to the continent of Dregar. I only fell once and luckily once again escaped the Soul Mother’s grasp.    
   Another thing happened. I expressed my desire to leave the Alliance to Lia. Basically my excuse did not work. There is an affirmed amongst the council. But the good news is, that Affirmed, Connor, seems trustworthy. He told me a great many things, and also said : “If you must choose between the alliance and Lucinda, I’d want you to choose Lucinda.”    
   But I am not a stupid wizard. I place trust in him only as far as common information goes. I shall disclose nothing to him. To any of them. And furthermore, I will ask other Lucindites of their opinion on Connor.    
     I also had a long talk with Mith before heading to Dregar, and I couldn’t help but think how much I missed talking to him. A sinister thought also crossed my mind, something that I could throw myself into the pond for thinking. For a splint second, my mind told me: “Miss AnnaLee is taking your mentor away from you.”      
 
  Foolish huh?      
   I know, I felt terrible for even thinking it once. Mith told me, that I was his apprentice through and through, and in the end he’d try to prevent any damage from coming to me. He said he uses the alliance (especially the towers) because it’s useful, yet holds no true loyalty towards it, and advised me to do the same. He also told me to use the spells Clarity and Mind Blank , whenever I felt as if I was being manipulated. If asked why, tell them My master demands it so. He said to split everything I know into two categories: Common knowledge, and things I will only speak of in the presence of him. If inquired onto those things tell the person that I can not speak of them without my master present.          
   I’m afraid that I am becoming to hungry for power. I don’t want to step into the dark. In fact, that’s precisely what Mith told me. Walk in the shadows. Do not go far enough into the light, but do not, for a second, fall into darkness. …Walk in the shadows…
  One last thing: Mith said I could only trust him so far too. That If it came to something between saving me and saving Anna..well..I can't blame him. I told him I felt the same way. If Freldo was in danger, I would betray him. I think he understands.  
  Sounds like something Dur’Thak would say…Which reminds me, He came to Dregar with us as well. He seems to be spending less and less time on Mistone, so I was happy to get to see him. He says I’ve been around him too long, because I’m actually starting to understand his hissing , and what it means in the different ways his tail moves.    
  Its funny..    Well…    Shadowsssss Keep all of you!     Rhynn giggles as she closes the book.

[LynnJuniper]

Hastily written, as if trying desperately to get done before doing something or going somwhere.
 
  Why would Jennara be so reluctant to accept my donation. I donated a cloak, and collected a few spare weapons from Kyle to donate to the cause of reforming Roldem. I also promised her clothing and rings to protect agianst poision. She said it would be great until I handed her the weapons. I know not if it was the nature of what I gave her that made her upset...or that I was the one giving them..
 
  I should take Miss Anna Lee's advice, and look at why I do the things I do..
 
  Why did I wish to donate to help Roldem
 
  ....
 
  To proove to myself I'm not a bad person..
 
  That's not a good reason is it?
 
  I must leave this place..perhaps I will go to see the ruins of Roldem...to give me more an insentive to help..or perhaps I will just go somewhere else, I must have a break from this aweful place, from all of the desisions plaguing me..
  ...I wonder if he would like to come with me...

[LynnJuniper]

In a slow calm script added to the previous entry.
   
       I found out why Jennara was hesitant to take the weapons I wanted to donate to the "Save Roldem" Fund. Turns out her mother was murdered and as a result she does not like swords , daggers, or other weapons; which was what I decided to donate at that time. I didn't know, and Now I feel concieded to think that she didn't accept them because I did something to insult her. Now , I must double my donation efforts. Also, I would, if possible like to take a trip to Roldem to see exactly what I am trying to save.
  Freldo and I had a long talk last night....In the long run, I learned that I am not a bad person, Just a sadistic one. I'm a very sadistic person, and like to see others' fear and pain. But only those who deserve it; I will never inflict pain on an innocent person. Turns out, Freldo's a masochist of sorts, openly admitted to it. This should lead to some....interesting times...
  I also allowed Ash, and Addison to beat up on Freldo a bit. The thing is, Freldo, Addison and I decided to go mine topaz near Velensk. Silool decided to come along...I ran ahead to fort Velensk to collect the corn for Freldo, but no one seemed to know where I was. They went on without me. Silool said she saw me sitting there, but I did not see her watching me because I was invisible. She could have said something , She could have told me "Get going" "We're over here" But she didn't. I think Silool is a fake and a phony. I never truly liked her and I continue not to like her, but I will get along with her if I must...Anyway, I got lost..I tried to find my way to the caves, but got myself lost in the Battle Fens. In the long run, I decided to wait in Port Hampshire for them to come back so I could use the Tower's portal to bring them all home. I found Silool first and we had a bit of a talk. Silool expressed how lucky I was to Have Freldo and I found myself agreeing. I love him terribly and I let her know that. I knew Freldo was right behind me. Saebhel taught me to sense invisible people even if I can not tell exactly where they are. I am not too good at it, but because of my bond with Freldo, I could tell where he was.
  When I took them into the Arcane Alliance Towers, Silool had a great interest in joining. I'm smiling as I write this, I think I will reccomend her to Lia. I want to get Silool involved in this, even if it makes me a cruel person, as Freldo thinks (Hey, he said he likes it.)
  Oh! A random note! I saw Silool looking quite pale staggering back from the bindstone. It turns out she was killed by her own Water spout summon. I could not stop laughing (after she left of course; If she can be phony I can be too.) I hope I'm the one that gets to tell Ash, we can have a right old laugh about it.
  Anyway, even though I say its fine when Freldo's eyes wander...it kills a part of my heart each time to think that he does not only have eyes for me...I wonder if I'm good enough? Or rather..am I enough?...I don't know. But I know he loves me. And I know I love him, and I know Miss Annalee said that when you love someone you accept the good along with the bad, so I must learn to accept this. Freldo told me: If I ever upset you, poke me, nudge me , do something to get my attention..
   I like Kyle's previous advice: I'll grab him and kiss him hard...
   Oh! I started doubling my efforts in learning spells from scrolls, and Mith came along with the most useful and wonderful present, since I gave him Katia's star dust for him to give Annalee. He gave me a scroll that would teach me how to raise the dead, that would bring me one step further on the path of necromancy. I don't think I could have thanked him enough. Mith is a good person, regardless of what others think, and I am both happy and honored that he considers me worthy of being his apprentice.
  I also want to update my reason for donating to Jennara's fund, to go back to that subject:
   I am not the best person in the world. I do things that are wrong for personal benefit and pleasure. I know these things are wrong and yet I still seek to do them. I will not stop doing them. But here is where I must repent.
  If I can counter every wrong thing I do with something kind and/or heartless..then perhaps I can find some balance in my life. I will try hard to counter every negative act with a positive one.
   
   

[LynnJuniper]

In what seems to be very bored handwriting....

It’s Just a place called Hlint

Just a stupid place called Hlint

Land of Horrors, The Asylum

Just a Stupid Place Called Hlint

 
 

It’s just a place called Hlint

Just a Stupid place called Hlint

Dragons licking, Tieflings Kicking

Just a Stupid Place Called Hlint.

 
 

It’s Just a Place called Hlint

Just a Stupid place called Hlint

Hooded Figures tell us Stories

Just a Stupid Place Called Hlint

 
 

It’s Just a Place Called Hlint

Just A Stupid Place called Hlint

Planar Demons, Fierce Attacking

Just a stupid place called Hlint.

 

It’s Just a place called Hlint

Just a Stupid Place called Hlint

Never once a normal moment

In This Stupid Place Called Hlint.

 

I'll add more later....

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[LynnJuniper]

So I guess it's time to write about recent days? I’ll just breifly outline what has been happening

• Ozymandias told the story of Eon and Drenzeb. Basically they are no more.
  
• Been helping out with the donations to reform Roldem. Thinking of taking a trip there. Unsure if Freldo will go with me. If not, I head out alone, I don’t expect him to follow me, I can handle my own
  
• Speaking of which, I think Freldo is hesitant to take me into battle after the last timeI died. A Futile attempt to protect me, as appreciated as it is. I can’t help but think of how much it hurts me. I do not need protection from the little things. If he will no longer fight along side of me then I will fight alone, and die alone, and be returned to the bindstone alone, and find my grave alone
  
• There was a giant worm that decided I looked Tasty in the Seilwood Forest. It ate me, but then I went back with a group to kill it. Among the group was Stupid Paladin (Thomas or something?), Nepp, agobblin named Gremlock, and another drow whose name begins with an A but for now escapes me as well.
  
• Come to think of it, Stupid Paladin isn’t a half bad person. He’s a paladin of Rofirein , and mentioned that he dreamed about something that has to due with my past. He said I would amount to great things. I found this odd because when Kali read my cards, the card I got that showed my past was the Great Gold Dragon Rofirein.
  
• A Further note about Stupid Paladin. I told him and Ash everything about my past. Stupid Paladin cut me off half way through. He said it was too painful for him to listen to that someone such as myself would have to be made to live through that, and that he couldn’t stand to hear that about someone he cared about. The meaning or intent behind those words scare me, and I hope he just means friendship.
  
• Oh! I’m going to kill that Stupid Paladin! He peeked at me when I went to change into the glowing red dress Ash gave me as a gift!
  
• Freldo invited me to the Leilon Arms to listen to Cole’s reenactment of what happened with Blood’s General Drenzeb. The story was interesting, but I had already heard the basic gist from Master Ozymandias, so I was only paying about three fourths of the attention I should have.
  
• I made three more pairs of clothing and a cloak very simply for Jennara yesterday
  
• There is The War Of The Sisters amongst us. The seven sisters are at war.
  
• Ozymandias and Addison were talking. Most of Cole’s soul is lost and Addison is afraid that the last piece will soon be gone as well, giving Cole a permanite death. She asked Master Ozymandias how she could counter this. He gave us a riddle, saying that to change this we would have to change the very nature of a man , and that only one thing could do this. He let it slip that this thing began with an r, and that this thing touched him a few times. The first good guess I had was remorse, which he said was close. I next guessed “repentance” but he said “That comes after” ….And then I finally got it. I think I understand. I think I solved one of Ozymandias’ riddles. I penned a note to Addison with the single word I came up with that can change the very nature of a man:
  
• The Word, is Regret.
  
• As a side note, I feel as if I wasn’t being one hundred present fair earlier. I love Freldo with all of my heart…but It seems people are set against us, or rather set against my nature. I fear I am starting to convince people that I am indeed not a good person. Ozymandias said himself that repentance can only come after….and then if it comes before it is not really meant. I can not keep seeking to balance out everything I do wrong with good if I really don’t mean any of it….Maybe I have to wait for Regret to hit me as well before I can truly repent. Maybe Ozymandias’ words were meant for me as well…
  
• I will not give Freldo up , no matter how many are against me or against us, but I will try not to be as moody for his sake. I love him too much to loose him to something so foolish…I will also try hard not to die in his presence, so he can see me as someone worthy of battle again…. I hate being seen as someone weak and frail…I don’t think he thinks I can fight ….If I have to fight without him to prove it then so be it, I won’t back down. I stand my ground always…
  
 Added as a side note
A Heart Of Black, Feelings of Rage, Such Anger she has for her young age  ~Ozymandias
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[LynnJuniper]

I think I’m loosing interest in writing in this journal. Perhaps it is because nothing as interesting as what had happened to me in the past is happening now. I actually find myself wishing some new terrible thing would happen to me, just so I can be in the middle of some sort of action again. I would embrace the hardship for the sake of an adventure.
 
   What I will scribe here is what I have learned of the Seven Sisters, and a man named Milara. Basically, the three Dragon Gods decided to give the job of protecting and guarding the Weave to a newly affirmed Goddess ; namely Lucinda. Now, Lucinda could not do this job alone, so she requited the help of the Seven Sisters
  1)      Allurial Queen of Mistone
  2)      Selian
  3)      The Seilwood Witch
  4)      Striker
  5)Lady Of The Land
  6) Xora
  Those are the ones I remember Remiel mentioning. Anyway, Shadow is the husband of Selian. He gave his life to protect the bridges made so that Blood and The Soul Mother could not follow the T'oleflor. The problem is, theT'oleflor could not come back. Now, Rhizome does the job of Shadow, but the T'oleflor CAN come back to Layonara. Selian, however is mad that Allurial would ask for this, because now Shadow is retired and she can not communicate with him through his grave in the Broken Forest anymore. She will go against her promise to Lucinda and her sisters, and some of her sisters are on her side…so a war begins.
  However, this will probably be a good opportunity for a man named Milara, who Ozymandias described as being much like himself, to continue targeting Lucinda and the Weave, which will already be weakened because of this war.
  It seems as if everything is happening at once.
  Oh! There is a rumor of a eighth sister. Master Ozymandias says he has an idea of who it could be but is not telling. He did this before with the five riders, so chances are he has a good reason not to say.
   I died again on Rilara….I was in a group traveling to Fort Himland. First, we stopped off at Farmer Prat’s , and we found a building..a wizard tower. I knew it as the place Saebhel often frequented. Not wanting to chance him being there, I left. However, the group led me right into the Forest of Saebhel, where I felt his eyes, and his presence Upon me. I ran and ran but his eyes seemed to follow…I ran right into a pigmy tribe, that promptly killed me and sent me back through the bindstone to Hlint. I actually thank these little creatures. My dying and being sent across a continent probably made it harder for Saebhel to trace me.
   I decided that I am not going to kill Saebhel, but simply go there, retrieve my soul stone if he has it, rescue anyone else Saebhel may be hurting under the same ruse of loving them as he did to me, then imprison Saebhel, or turn him over to proper justice and punishment….Freldo agrees with my new way of dealing with things and so does Treana…I feel as if I’m gaining some of my old basic goodness back, or atleast, I feel as if others are beginning to see “The Old Rhynn” again….
 
  *as an added note*
 
  Turns out I was right about Ozymandias' "nastiest riddle"
   What is the one thing that can change the very nature of a man?
  Regret...
  I was right..well, Lady Lia got the answer too eventually...But Still, I was right first...It makes me feel a great sense of accomplishment!

[LynnJuniper]

Once again I have neglected writing in this journal for quite some time. There are many things I feel I must scribe, and one thing that torments me so that I refuse to even write of it.
 
   First I want to write about Miss Anna Lee’s wedding. It made me very glad to attend the wedding with Freldo. It took place in the High Forest and was one of the most beautiful occurrences I have ever witnessed. Anna looked beautiful in the dress made for her by Treana. If I ever get married, I’d want Treana to do my dress as well. The vows spoken were short but sweet, and Mith even stopped being grumpy, at least for a few moments.
 
  After the wedding though, was a disaster, or so I am told, I don’t remember much of it. Apparently, from Freldo’s words, After arriving and spending some time at the Freelancer’s Tavern in North Point Rilara, I just walked away. He caught up with me at the Wizard’s tower I knew Saebhel to have frequented at Farmer Prats. He tried yelling at me, tackling me, hugging me and even kissing me, but to no avail. He then said that I walked on, and he thought for some time that I would just wander back. However, when I didn’t he came to find me sitting at the Rolling Hills where Saebhel’s house was supposed to be. He told me there was no house. I wonder why…
 
  Apparently Saebhel drew me to that place for some reason, and since his hold on me was so strong at that point, it took all my strength to literally rip my mind away from him by taking the boat back to Leilon. When I was there, Freldo handed me a bouquet to go along with the ring he placed in my hands at the wedding. He said something about not wanting me to feel left out, with all the weddings happening. He said he would marry me, but not now, and I agree with him. I think atleast that we are much too young for marriage. Best to wait a little while..
 
  Another thing I would wish to write about so I do not forget is the sky going dark on two separate occasions that I can recall, and shadows appearing in the sky. After this event, the shadows that used to appear in the Broken Forest started to appear everywhere..In towns, on roads, wherever one could think of.. I met two of them in the Lizardmen’s temple in the High Moors with Freldo and Kharl. The obvious question I think would be: Who commissioned these shadows to protect the grave of Shadow in the first place, or was it just, I wonder, something that happened. Shadow goes to rest, shadows appear. It would seem to connect even if it’s just in name.
 
  So A group decided to patrol the towns surrounding Hlint for any occurance. The group consisted of Sa’kura, Cronk, Mirindell (Sp?), Mercas, the toy soldier Thomas, and myself. (Oh! I forgot to write of Ash, Thomas and I going to the arena to beat the living daylights out of eachother! It was fun…A bit ..unsettling but fun).
 
   On the way back from our patrol, we met Mith, in giant dragon form. The Red dragon seemed to upset Thomas, who is a paladin of Rofirein, so he even went as far as to attack Mith! Stupid.
 
   Mith, in retaliation decided to take us to see a “Real Dragon” , in the broken Halls beyond the Rolling Hills. It was a labyrinth , and Gremlock the gobblin, Treana, Nepp the drow, and a new girl named Ari joined us for the adventure. Sadly, I never got to see the dragon. A ways through, Thomas seemed to have lost his nerve. I turned back to see what he was doing back there, and it got us both lost. The rest of the group went on ahead. I thought fast and prepared a bunch of Invisibility spells and tried to get the stupid paladin to move but it was as if he was glued to the floor. Eventually all of my prepared invisibility spells ran out..and those ...ed rats and mummies found us and killed us where we stood. Upon returning I met up with Annalee and Dur’Thak (who I wandered around with in the High Moors that morning). After a short conversation I decided it was time to sleep, and reflect on my recent passing. In doing so, I am writing this

[LynnJuniper]

//All OOC//

Check first post for updates: Everything in accordance to Saebhel must go. Its not family quality and will not be accepted. I am awaiting news on an alternate plan to keep the character Saebhel and to keep rhynn in her own truamatised state. I will not know for a while, so everyone please RP like Saebhel never happened.

*heavy sigh* Better than loosing Rhynn

So as of now , what is Rhynn?:

Rhynn is a girl who doesn't know who her father is. Who never felt the love of her mother and her father because of their religious affiliation.

She is confused with the Arcane Alliance, -still- shaken after her trip to Pandemonium, Delving into the art of Necromancy but also trying to be a generally good person, and couldn't be happier in the relationship she has.

That's rhynn...

[LynnJuniper]

All OOC:

This is Rhynn's alternate story, just to keep people up to date:

Rhynn's parents were murdered by the Wizarding Enchantor/Illusionist named Saebhel. Rhynn watched as her parents died, and even though they did not love her as they did her normal children, she still felt deeply upset and angered.

As if this was not enough, Saebhel convinced her brothers and sisters that Rhynn was dead, so he could take Rhynn under him as a false apprentice. He did teach her, but Rhynn , obviously would not want to stay with a man that killed her parents with no apparent motive.

She tried to escape many times and this riled up Saebhel's already short temper. He DID hurt her, but only physically (So her scars still stay) and mentally, not...the other way. ((Which explains her anger later in life. It rubbed off on her)). In addition to this, in order to get her to stay by his side, he held her under the Dominate Monster spell for five years, which is why she has a growing distrust of Enchantors and everyone that uses that spell. It also explaines her naturally submissive and docile obidiant nature, often answering demands and even request abruptly with a Yessir or Yes ma'am! out of habbit..

Rhynn, after the dragon called her, finally being free of Saebhel's Dominate Monster Hold, was so confused that she did not even remember the murder, nor the fact that Saebhel did those horrible things. She was under the belief that he loved her and that he was simply her Master until the talk she had with Annalee and Ireth on the day Keaira'tynen attacked her by the pond.

Also, this exlpains Why Rhynn can not get close to Rilara without feeling the strong pangs of Saebhel's control

For everyone I told the first story of Rhynn to, pretend this was the story I originally told. Its basically the same minius one small ultimately unimportant ((really...compared to the rest that detail was unimportant!)) detail.

Thanks for the time!

[LynnJuniper]

In the deepest darkest ink possible , looking as if one was holding a quill as a knife ready to stab, This page in Rhynn's journal is covered with one continuious angry scribble
   Under the scribble is the following caption:
   
  Why in the nine hells Is this happening?
  Confused
  Don't want to hurt anyone

[LynnJuniper]

The days have been odd and strange.       First Addison    She’s barmy! I mean, I understand true love , but who would be willing to sell their soul to the Soul Mother in exchange for just a piece of their lover’s soul back? Furthermore, that “audience” may give The Soul Mother a way to bring an army into Layonara and doom us all. How could Addison be so selfish? Doesn’t she even think for a second. “If I don’t want to live without my love, why would Cole want to be alive without me.”? He wouldn’t be happy with his life. And moreover she could be putting all of Layonara in jeopardy. It’s stupid, it’s crazy, its selfish….  So does that mean that since I would not do that, that I love Freldo less than Addison loves Cole? Maybe that’s why I was so angry at Addison. Maybe that’s why I would not stop screaming. Perhaps not: I already promised Freldo if his time came I would not use means of necromancy to bring him back. Does this fall under those means as well?
   Ozymandias and Freldo were both edging her on in her idea. I called them idiots too…Until Ozymandias threw a rope at Freldo and told him to tie me up and take me away. Then I flipped my anger upon him. I stated.     “If you touch me with that rope I’ll kill you where you stand, and Ozy too for good measure.”         I must apologize for that.    Eventually Ozymandias found a way to get me away from Addison without a rope. I mean, “Words have power. Say follow and I’ll most likely come along.” It’s funny how circles take a long time to turn, but in the end finally do. Anyway, he told me to follow him into the Wild Surge and we took a seat at a table in the corner. It would have been enjoyable If the constant thought of “You’re going to die a fiery death Rhynn” Wasn’t the only thing playing in my mind.   All in all Ozymandias told me I was trained incorrectly as a Mage and wasn’t taught how to protect my mind. I thought that would have been obvious, seeing as Saebhel would not have taught me to protect my mind if his sole source of power over me was his ability to dominate it. Ozymandias was in fact, offering a way to protect myself. He showed me a card game. The point was basically to memorize all the ways to get the cards to equal twenty and not go over. I hate numbers. Ozy then told me that I can study whatever I want, as long as I take my mind off of the pointless and focus it on something that I can memorize and think of at will. He said as I did that , Saebhel’s hold over me would diminish than finally disappear. He also said that I should probably not seek to transmute him into stone and then hand him over to Lucindites like Llun said (Llun is the enchantress who tried to help me with the Horses before) . That I should just kill him. I can’t kill him…Perhaps though, if another is willing to , I won’t stop him. Maybe if I get good enough with this whole clear mind thing, I can get someone like Lia to help me. Or , I can go with my original plan and have it be Mith. So long as I don’t have to watch. My purpose will be to obtain his journal, and learn why he did the things he did.  Ozymandias said focus is the difference between a good magic user and a poor one. “Focus is the difference between Sabrissia and Lia and Llun. Focus is the difference between Acacea and Freldo.” I must ask him then two things now.    1) I would like for him to tell me more of his method: Legend Lore and See Invisibility.   2) I wonder if he would have any books of interest that I can learn off of. Memorize and use at will. I think I                      will ask him for books on the basic markup of the planes.    Treana’s upset with me again and I can’t figure out why. She said something about “Not talking to me until I’m ready to live again.” Meaning I’d have to initiate conversation with her. Well, I can’t for the life of me figure out what I did wrong now, so I’m not going to bother. If she wants to talk to me she’ll find me. If she was more specific maybe I’d have something to apologize for. Perhaps I can appeal to AnnaLee about it, She seems torn between the two of us, I’d hate to loose her in addition to Treana, she , I think has been my best friend for a while now.
 
  I learned something new today. Lil Layla is Dragoncalled. I originally met the halfling on the streets of Leilon where she tried to convince me she was a seven year old so I'd buy her a pie. I saw right through it. Couldn't help it really with the shirt she was wearing. I think she may be one of those Xeenites. I bought her a pie anyway, and we got to talking. We became friends. I didn't know she had recently been dragon called. I must start my writings to her again. Cute little thing.
    Anyway, Apparently a magic user with similar views upon the Weave as myself was sent to me by Lil Layla. We chatted for a time on our similar perspectives, then he offered to Dominate a drunkard so I could hit him a few times for starting at me. I got so scared at the prospect of a Dominate Person spell that I ran out. He followed me and I told him the reasoning behind my fear. I'm afraid I angered him beyond reason. I hope he does not do anything rash...    Freldo went to Karthy, in the land of Rilara where I could not follow. Karthy, KARTHY! HARLOT HEAVEN! Maybe that’s what initially put me into my foul mood.      Jharl sent me another of his songs via falcon which I enjoyed very much.    I read something in the wild surge, a love poem of types that reminded me of The Fighter and The Mage. Something about Holy Warriors and Ma……      *the book is shut hastily, the last letter trailing off into a line of nothing*

[LynnJuniper]

as a small note added in between the pages of her journal
 
  Am I to loose everyone?

[LynnJuniper]

I do not have the will to write about all that’s been happening. So I’m just going to outline it here. Chances are what I write here will bring back the memories should I need them. And by writing them I can at least clear my head of them until I need them and focus on more important things.  
   It started at the Leilon Arms where I got into a squabble with Addison, here forth dubbed Selian. Well, I got into a fight with her, you know the usual. She was being an idiot. Anyway, it ended with me just leaving the place and missing story tellers’ night. I did not want to make trouble for them.  So skip to the days past…Well, when you’re telling Ozymandias that you’re lonely when asked what’s wrong..I don’t know, seems like a new low point. But that was the truth of it, I was lonely. Ozy promised to bring me a book that would interest me when he could.
    My friends noticed I have not been eating or drinking properly, so I suppose they had fun sitting on me and forcing food and drink down my throat….
   A Drow , the same one who riled me up so long ago on the night that I tried to get myself killed time and time again in Hlint’s own crypts returned, and promptly made to call me a slave, the one thing that would kill my focus no matter what it was on. I immediately started repeating spells , their components, their counter spells and what they each do in my mind, except I did it aloud. It upset me, so I went off with Freldo. When we returned however, I learned that Annalee went to the arena to challenge him! In her state I could not allow her to do that so I set off to follow with Freldo behind me…
   Seems the drow never got there…on the road to Fort Llast Mith found him first..He used a high circle spell that would literally scream you to death. Wail of the banshee. He killed the drow. And I barely side stepped the spell in time. I thought he had no regard for my life, and that upset me. Furthermore Freldo had run off ahead of me, abandoning me behind as well.  
   I was left alone until Annalee, And Freldo returned. Mith was there too and by that time I was fed up with the three of them as well. I told them all just to leave me alone…and Mith..he told me that the spell would not hurt me. I did not believe him so he pulled Freldo outside the gates and saught to perform the spell on him. I would not follow and Mith said if I did not he would surely kill Freldo. I still did not follow…visibly.  
   I watched outside the gates as Mith prepared Freldo on the floor, putting fake blood in and around his ears to fool me into thinking he was dead when I came out of the gate. Of course, I was watching this the whole time. My blood boiled so much that I attacked Mith, who felt none of it because of his shield . Mith, to prove his point, summoned his golem to hold me in place, and forced my eyes to watch with a spell as he preformed the killing spell on me..It was at that moment before the spell connected that I screamed the thing I most regret.  “YOU ARE JUST LIKE SAEBHEL”  Only the spell never hit me. He was right, it would not harm non hostile creatures. Mith seemed truly hurt that I would not trust him, and that I associated him with that name. Freldo was fed up to the point of leaving me all alone there, and would have if Mith did not ask him to stay with Annalee.
   Mith and I had a long talk about Focus and trust, about overcoming fears and changing to suit the relationship I was in, compromising to what works best for the both of us. It was then I went to talk to Freldo, who admitted that he did think of leaving…for good. That saddened me, and now I’m still not sure the extent to which he wants to be near me.  
   We talked of Addison, and of Cole, and how it was “none of my business to humiliate her and call her a selfish idiot.” I begged to differ. What she does with her own stupid self is her business. But when she’s going to do something that could potentially wipe out all of Layonara, it becomes everyone’s business. She doesn’t care that all of Layonara could be destroyed to bring back Cole. If all of Layonara is destroyed I loose the one I love. If I must be selfish to fight her selfishness so be it. There are other ways to keep Cole around. I don’t care what she does to herself but she’s not putting innocent bystanders in danger. And I STILL don’t understand why Cole would want a guilty half life knowing what Addison did to give it to him. Freldo seemed upset that I did not understand, and that fact still upsets me.
   I admitted something to Mith that night. It is something I just realized and something I must now admit to Treana as well. When I was not eating Annalee had to say but one thing to get me to do so.    
  "I want my children to have an aunt to teach them magic should they want to learn incase their father is does not know what to do around children.”
   That made me take everything into a new perspective. It made me realize how much I truly do want a family. How much I want to live. Not for adventure, fame , glory, or fortune. But for the little things. Family, Happiness, Love.  I want to live to live..And No one will come in between me and the rest of my life.