Rose- The Pursuit of Perfection

[Dalila]

Dear Journal,
  The church asked me to go to a woman named Clarissa. She is to be my mentor. I was sceptical at first and I though that I was being punished. I had all the knowledge already, but then they explained to me that it was not only knowledge that I will need. I need hands on training and that Clarissa would be my best match. I did as they asked and I met her. After spending a few days with her I knew the church was right. She and I are perfect for one another. Her devotion to Toran is the same as mine. I am glad to be her new aprentice. She is very kind and I am honored to be able to protect her, not that she needs it. She is very skilled in combat and I am going to learn as much as I can from her so that I can better protect others. She took me into the crypts where I had my first real encounter with the undead. She could destroy them all with one surge of Toran's power. I tried to do the same thing but I was not nearly a succesful. I was only able to scare a few. The others just laughed. Then we met up with a man named Lex'or. He is a very stange man in his own way but he is a very skilled cleric.  I am looking forward to learning more from Clarissa and learning how to use our powers to be even more powerful together than we could be on our own.
Rose

[Dalila]

Dear Journal,
I have been spending a lot of time in training lately and have been making many new friends. Clarissa has been teaching me so much. She is becoming more than just a mentor to me, she is becoming my friend. Every day I look around town and I see children starving and people in pain. I long to help them so much and I finally know how. Clarissa and Krys have asked me to join them in their efforts. I am so excited. I am finally going to be able to make a difference. I am finally going to be useful.
I have been seeing many fall since I have started to travel with others. I can hardly stand it. What am I good for if I can't even keep my friends alive. Every time one of them falls I fail my father. He was the greatest Cleric I have ever known. I must try harder. Toran has seen my pain and has granted me the ability to raise them. But for me I do not only raise my friends but anyone who needs help. Most people don't understand this. Just because they don't follow Toran I can not just leave them behind. I refuse to let any prejustices get in the way of my duty. Toran wants me to show his love to others and this is how I think I can do it. I do not judge others on who they worship but how they act. Every time I help a person that is not of my faith they seem to respect my faith more. This is what I want. Many of Torans followers in the past have been bound by their prejustices and have made the Toran followers look like hypocrites. I am no better than the peasant on the side of the road. I have dedicated myself to a life of service and I will succeed. Toran has blessed me so much and I pray that I can pass his blessings on to others.

[Dalila]

Dear Journal,
I strive to be the best I can be. Everywhere I turn there is someone in need of help. The longing to be great it strong inside of me, To be one that people can turn to if ever they need anything. Lately it seems I have been failing as a priestess.  People around me are dying and I can't stand to watch it. I hope to be like my father one day.  He was not afraid.  He was strong yet gentle.  I wish he was here to guide me and lead me through these dificulties.  He told me before he left for the last time that when it rained he was thinking of how much he missed me and that he was proud to have me as a daughter.  Oh how I could sit in the rain forever.  I feel as if he is there. I miss him so much.  The only thing I have left now is my faith.  I must hold tight to it.  I must not lose that as well.  Toran sees my pain and he has a purpose for all this.  I just can't see it yet.  He must lead me for I know not where to go.

Dear Father,
Mother died.  I hope she is with you.  I miss her so much.  In so many ways I feel it is my fault.  If only I had stayed with her this would not have happened.  She would still be here with me.  The men what killed her have not yet been found and I do not have the skills needed to locate them.  If only you were here.  You would know what to do, you always did.  I do not regret my desision to become a priestess but I know now it is not an easy path.  It is much harder than I had thought.  The struggles are great and I am barely able to handle them.  How did you do it?  How did you not go crazy?  I want to save everyone but I can't.  When you would come home after being gone for so long I rememeber you would tell me that the only thing that mattered was to do your best but, how do you know what your best is?  I know I can do better then what I am doing.  I just need to work harder, train more, and pray more.  Failure is not an option.  Father I will not fail you.  I will not!

[Dalila]

Dear Father,
    Oh how I long to be with you father. I sit in the rain longing for the day I will see you again. I miss how you used to hold me as a child and run your fingers through my hair telling me how much you loved me. I miss our long walks talking about nothing and everything. I miss when you and I used to sit under the stars for hours as you talked to me about toran and your faith. Never will I love a man as much as I loved you father. You taught me everything I know. You were always there for me....unless you were gone. I remember when you would come home after a month or so and you would take me in your arms and I could see the tears falling down your face from missing me so much. Now those tears are mine. It has been about a year now and it still feels like yesterday I saw you on that bed in the temple lying there with no life left in you. I still remember the peaceful look you had on your face. You did not seem afraid. You almost seemed happy. I know I should be happy that you are in a better place but I still feel empty and alone. I hope you are happy....Hope. Hope seems to be lost in this world. People don't have hope. They go through their day searching but can't find it. Clarissa, a friend of mine, I think you would have liked her. She is an honorable woman. Always knowing what to do and what to say. She is a great leader like you. You would have been proud to know her. I know I am. We are forming a group of talented men and woman to give people that hope they seek. Maybe Torans light can be shown to the people through this. Is this what I was meant for? I don't see myself as anything special. A lot of people don't think of toranites as anything important either. I hope to let them know through my actions that there are toranites out there that care about the people and not just of themselves. So many have given Toran a bad name. Clarissa and I are trying to fix this. We are trying to show the light that has been lost by prejudices and legalism. It pains me to see people judge me and not trust me just because I follow Toran. I have made a friend named Shiff though. At first he did not really trust me or at least when he found out who I followed but after he got to know me as a friend he learned that not all of us are the same. He has become one of my best friends...almost like a brother. He still does not know what I am. No one does. I don't like to let people know for the same reason you waited so long to tell me what I was. Shiff is a kind man but it seems he does not think highly of himself. Bet he is wrong. He is one of the best men I have known besides you father. I am glad he is getting married and found love. He deserves it even if he thinks otherwise. Then there is Mip father. He might not be able to speak much common but he is learning. Whenever he he sees me he hums now. I guess he noticed I do it a lot and it has become a form of greeting. He has a good heart. He always seems to be happy and I like it. It cheers me up. I have been taking him with me when I go places and he seems to like it. Everything seems so new to him. He is like a child seeing things for the first time. And there is Nemo. a very interesting girl. She always wants to have fun and play. She is very silly and thinks a lot of boys are cute. One moment she is all shy and a second later she acts like she has known you forever. When I travel with her there is never a dull moment. One day we were in Port Hempstead and we decided to play in the fountain. And well a guard saw us and came over asking us why were playing in it. I got out ,drenched from head to toe, and told him we were playing. I had to laugh to myself. He told me that it was not befitting of my age. The instead of arguing with him I thanked him for is work and protecting the city. I don't think many people thank him because he seemed to like it. I even got him to laugh. He does not seem to smile much but I got him to. It made my day. I told him I would act more my age and he left smiling and shaking his head. Father I hope I am doing a good job here. I hope you are proud of me. I am trying really hard. Toran has been blessing me greatly as of late. I wish you were here to see. I still have lots to learn though. Lots.

*she closes the journal and gently places it on the nightstand and blows out the candle and goes to sleep*

[Dalila]

Dear father (Ausrill),
  I miss you so much...I know I am always saying that but only because it is always true.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and wish you were here with me.  There is so much I want to tell you. Where to start?
  Hanna and Krys got married and they have a little on on the way.  I am so excited!  They are going to make great parents.  I love both of them so much.  They have kind of taken me in and let me live with them.  I am going to be their nanny and help with the new baby.  
  Shiff and Val are married now as well and they have a daughter named Tyra.  Tyra is amazing and learning things so fast.  She makes me so happy when no one else can.  She loves flower.  *smiles*  Every time I see her I bring her a rose.  I take the thorns off first of course.  Shiff has become like a big brother.  It's funny we even argue like sibblings.  Sometimes he can be frustrating though.  He does not understand me as well as I wish he did.  Val is very funny and I love her so much. I got to help deliver Tyra for her.  I was so scared.
  Then there is omer.......  He is my best friend.  I can tell him anything and I know he will understand.  I coud sit and talk to him for hours and never get bored.  I can't wait till he finds someone to love.  He needs to start being very carefull now.  I am never going to let him go into the rift again.  Almost every time he goes in there he falls.  I don't know how many more time he can take.  I don't know what I would do if I was not able to talk to him anymore.
  Clarissa, well she is clarissa.  Busy as always.  Her, me, and hanna; get the three of us together and we can get into a lot of trouble.  Clarissa got the name the tickle monster.  
  Me......I am just me.  Still training hard and missing you.

[Dalila]

Well what I thought was going to be a normal day turned out to be quite the opposite.  I got a letter from clarissa asking me to travel with her and a group of others into Mechidil's tower lair.  He got all the keys (or bowls) together and finaly went in...but to out surprise we had a welcoming party. Waiting for us were two Boneyard Guardiens.  Luckily we were able to cast a wards before fighting them.  It took everything I had to keep us all alive.  Two fell though, Lex and quantum, I feel like a failure, but it did not end there.  Nope we kept going.  If some stupid lich thought it was going to slow us down they were wrong. we got to the pillar and clarissa put in the combonation.  I had no idea she even knew it.  No one did.  So she put in the code and we went through the portal.  We then showed up in a large room with 3 pathways.  One led to a dead end, another to a magicly locked door, and the third to another portal.  We were so lucky to have Tody there to look for traps. we never would have made it as far as we did without him.  Even if he does scream like a girl.  I have never head a man scream like that in my life.  Anyway, we went through the portal and entered another room.  There we found a pentagram with 4 vaces on each point....one was missing.  So we figured that was were one of the bowls was to go.  We put the silver bowl there and opened yet another portal.  All of us lept into it....it was getting normal by then and we found another pentagram just like the other....but this one was surounded with traps.  Yes, toby was able to tell us before the others ran into them.  We put the amber bowl in this one and went through the portal that showed up.  Then we found ourselves in a maze.  We were so lucky to have a map.  We had to overcome many traps and undead here....althought Quantum did not want to stay behind Tody.  He found 2 of our traps for us.  Luckily I was able to raise him and we gathered ourselves once more and moves forward.  After all this we found yet another pentagram and places the green bowl on it and jumped into the portal.....we found ourselves at the begining.  Why? Becuase we messed up somewhere. *sighs*  Always read the fine print.  We missed something that was writen on the map.  Now we need to go find another amber bowl so we can go back and try again.  Next time we won't fail.  We know what to do now.  Quantum was very disapointed though.  He has been waiting for this for so long.  
Then I went to go make me and peanut dresses.  It was her wedding!  I was so excited.  I was going to do the service.  The first time ever.  We were going to have it at the temple of air...atleast that was were beasty and peanut wanted it.  When we got there we were welcomed by some elves.  They told us that the temple of air was special to them and we were not able to have the service there.  Peanut was devistated.  It was the place beasty asked her to marry him.  They then asked us to leave and go back to the town.  We did because there was no need to start a war on peanuts wedding.  When we got back to the town an elven priestess met us and told us of a place we could have the wedding.  So we followed her and she led us to a beautiful garden....we could see the temple of air from there.   Peanut was so happy and asked the other priestess to marry them.  It was there land so I was glad to let her do it.  It was a beautiful service. The other priestess did much better then I ever could have.  Omer and I stood together and watched the wedding.  He gave me flower and told me I was beautiful.  I could not say anything.  I think I blushed.  
So....after the wedding I ran to willows weep where I found Quantum drunk sleeping on the ground. I should not have gotten angry but...I don't know.  He reminds he so much of my father.  But when he drinks it makes me sad.  Him drinking reminds me of one of the men who loved near me when I was younger.  *shakes her head trying not to remember*  After everyone got there we left to go check out this place that was gaining much magical power.  We just wanted to make sure it was not a threat to the people around it.  We got there and the entrance had wards on it so Kalin had to do his thing and open it.  We all got in safely but we arrived to an empty room. in the center was a pillar and on the stairs around it where were words.  On the pillar there were pictures.  We left figuring out what it said to the mages.  Then Toby got the briliant....as always..idea to through a rock into the abyss they was under the bridge.  Yeah that helped us a lot...out of the abyss came these awfull creatures.  We were luck to kill then.  After they we decided to go through the next door, but just like the entrance it was warded.  So we cast a spell on the pillar to try and lets us through....but instead we got a bear.  He told us the hisory.  About how the druids made the place and how the humans took over and made it into a musioum.  He then told us of how Blood's demons took it over and killed all the humans.  Luckily after the fall of blood the demons left and it had been empty ever since.  Then we ask the bear if he can open the door that is warded.  He came over to me and started sniffing me.  Sorry to say I jumped and hid behind Quantum...very brave I am.  Then after my heart stoped beating so fast I came out from behind him and the bear told me I reminded him of a mangirl he knew.  He said it was hair I think.  So he told us he would open the door for me.  Me of all people.....I will write more later but for now I am tired and should get some rest.

[Dalila]

The Voraxian Councle:
Varka ask repersentitives from the Toranite church and the Roferane church to aid the councle.  Jennara and Kobole came to repersent the Roferanes and Clarissa and I came to repersend the Toranites.  After a long discusion of how the lands are and what needs to be done those of us that were called to help had some concernes of our own.  Clarissa told the councle of the white dragon on Krashen and how it had taken over most of the island. Someone else brought up the troubles in the hamerbound mountains.  Ever sence the sky had been dark the ogres have been allowed to grow in large numbers and hard close towns....but now that the skys are clear....we have recorces to deal with the problem.  The leader asked me to take care of makeing the population of the ogres smaller and he asked clarissa to bring proof of the white dragon....because the scale we brought was not good enough proof.  So first I called aid to help me with the ogre job.  The councle sent me a general to tell me just what needed to be done and he traveled with us.  He went through the mountains and pushed them back.  We got to there major camp.  There we found wemon and children ogres.  We tried to rationalize with the leader and ask him to leave our towns alone but he refused.  He got angry and told us he was going to kill us and send his whole army after us.  I was not about to become a murderer.  THe general said they all had to be killed.  I would not let the children or wemon be harmed and only faught the warriers who were armed.  After this the we went back to last.  I had done what they asked me.  I could tell he was a little upset I did not let him slay the whole town but he was happy I did what I said I would.  The population is smaller and no longer a threat.  The general went back to the councle and informed them of what I did.  
As for the White dragon on Krashen, that was a little harder.  Clarissa sent out word to some allies and we came ot her aid and the councle sent another general.  We started to search the whole island till we came across a group of Barbarians.  They told us their leader could give us real proof the dragon was real.  We followed then and they led us to a camp.  We should have known not to trust them but.....we did.  When we got there they started to suround us.  We should have known.  They called for their leader and he came to us asking what we were on his island for.  We told him we were looking for poof of the white dragon and he just smirked.  He told us we either have to pay some form of tribute or he will just kill us.  So we asked him what kind of tribute we would have to pay.  We did not have anything of real value on us so the leader looked around the group.  Out of us all he chose clarissa and I to be the ones to pay.  He told us to kneel in front of him so we did.....not that we had any other choice really.  Then he took out a blade, he told clarissa and I not to flinch.  He then took the blade and shaved our heads.  I then he called to one of his men to bring him the dragon tooth.  He touched it to our heads leaving a large scar.  He told us that if we ever came back the dragon would be able to sence where we were and he would come for tribute....then we hurd what sounded like thunder.  We all looked up and the white dragon was right above us.  The look on teh dwarves face when she saw it was one of fear.  We knew then we had gotten the proof she needed.  Then the dragon left.  The leader let us leave and told us never to come back without some form of tribute....I don't think I would ever go back even if I did have tribute.   Maybe these scars will come in handy one day, but only time will tell.  Atleast I was able to grow our hair back.  That was an upside.  

King Rockfist of the Bloody Gates:
Varka asked clarissa and I to go with him to report to the king everything we have learned.  Varka also found a way that might defend them from Milara if need be.  He has this amulet that summons this strang gnome.  Personaly I think the gnome is insane....but aren't they all.  Anyway this gnome can make bombs.  BIG ones he said.  But to make these big bombs he is going to need a bigger lab.  I think Varka and the King are going to take care of that part.  

Dragons
Crazy Gnomes
Barbarians
what next?

[Dalila]

*sits down by Corax lake and takes out her dusty journal and starts to write*

I am a Priestess of Toran first and foremost. Toran will always be first in my life...no one can change that. Today my love for Toran has been strengthened. He sent his messenger to talk to me. At first I was frightened.  I was thinking of all the things I could have done wrong.  Why was he here to talk to me?  When he told me not to be afraid, I was honored but was still not able to look right at him.  I felt so,   small yet he talked to me as an equal.  Toran sent him to see my heart.  My heart has always been and will always be Toran's.  The messenger told me he feared that my love for him had blinded me to my own safety.  I do not fear for myself.  If I perish, I perish.  As long as I am doing Toran's will I do not fear death, I do not fear for myself.  I explained this to him and he told me I was a shining example and they loved me as no others.  They don't want any harm to come to me.  I felt so honored that they even knew who I was, let alone cared so much for me.  Me, a servant. "Dearest Rose, as well as your shining example of how to instill love in others, do not forget to love yourself." those words I will never forget.  Do not forget to love myself.  Do I know how?  I am so used to caring for others, somewhere -I- get lost.  He told me that those whom I bring his light to, must also show some return lest my beautiful soul be used and withered by my efforts.  I understand that I need to balance my desire for other's redemption with the proof of it.  I am just trying to serve Toran as best I can and for that he loves me and knows me.  After we finished talking he leaned down and kissed my cheek.  I will never forget this day.  It strengthened my love for him and my faith.

After this I went to go find Quantum.  I couldn't just keep this to myself.  I told him everything that happened.  I love him like a father.  He reminds me so much of my real father.  When he leaves for days at a time I get so worried he is going to come back the same way as my father did.  I could not live through that again.  I wish he would just take me with him.  That way I never had to worry and he would always be safe. He told me I could never let him down.  I hope I can live up to that.  I would hate to dissapoint him.  I would never be able to forgive myself if I let him down.  He has so much faith in me and I hope it is has not been misplaced.

*smiles as she closes her book looking over the lake*

[Dalila]

*Rose sits by the small lake outside hempstead and holds a green stone at the end of a gold necklace around her neck. As she holds it and gently turns it over in her hand it starts to crumble. Rose's expression turns from a small thoughtful smile to a look or horror. She tightened her hand around the small broken pieces as a quiet tear rolls down her cheek. She knew this would happen eventualy...but not for many years. Rose had hoped he would have run and left her and everything else behind but her hope was in vain. He was gone now. The person she had trusted for so long and tried to protect. They had killed him. She lies down closing her eyes but the tears don't stop. Small drops of blood run down from the hand that she is holding the broken stone. She doesn't notice the people passing and time seems to have stoped. The sun sets her heart breaks that much more and she still lies there silently. She doesn't realize how much time has passed only that it has and she decides to get up and go find Quantum...or try to. As she walks her face turns into one of anger. She mumbles under her breath about killing any Corathite that gets in her way. She vowes that she will avenge his death. They will pay. She will never stop until every last one is dead...no matter what it takes....even if it costs her everything. She finaly makes it to Quantums house and sits outside waiting for him to find her. Her hands still bloody from being cut by the stone and her eyes wet with tears. She sits with her head in her hands not caring how much time will pass.*