Author Topic: Limerick Contest! (Read 4456 times)

darkstorme · « **on:** February 13, 2008, 03:15:34 PM »

Rules

Limericks must pertain to one (or more) features or characters of Layonara
Must obey the rules of the limerick (except where self-referential departure from the rules increases the humour)
Must stay (reasonably) clean. Family friendly, folks!

///////////////////////////

A lady named Tegan, no prude
Found her skirt by the wind all a'skewed.
But then Sall came along
And unless I am wrong
You expect this last line to be lewd.

There once was a wizard named Omer
An adventurer, hero and roamer.
But then one day he made
Stunning work with his blade
Now "wizard" alone's a misnomer!

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #1 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:18:53 PM »

There once was a Striker named Shiff
who used to be quite the stiff
Always swinging his sword
he often looked bored
til one day he fell in the Rift

darkstorme · « **Reply #2 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:23:33 PM »

Once Kali got it into her head
That 'twas wrong to eat meat that was red.
The Arms once served roast boar?
Well, they don't anymore -
They serve only roast apples and bread!

//Seriously, though, food at the Arms makes me hungry in RL.

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #3 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:25:08 PM »

There once was a DM-like softy
Whose name had an unneeded E
'Til he messed with a stiff
By the lovely name Shiff
And got him all thinking Limericky

Stug3 · « **Reply #4 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:40:59 PM »

There once was a man from Vehl
Who arrived soon after his smell
Swarms of flies around his head
Smelling like he was dead
Goblin or Dwarf none could tell

ycleption · « **Reply #5 on:** February 13, 2008, 04:06:23 PM »

There was a young halfling named Peanut,
Who was offered a delicacy: eel butt.
She glowered and spat,
"I'll never eat that!
looks too much like Jabba the Hut!"

(this is the best I could do while still paying attention to class, sorry)

Frances · « **Reply #6 on:** February 13, 2008, 04:28:44 PM »

When I read the thread header, the "Leringard-Warning!" one was right next to it, and I confused the two mentally to get "Limerick contest-Warning!" in my head.

Having read this far, I think this heading is appropriate...

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #7 on:** February 13, 2008, 04:52:49 PM »

You're next, Frances...

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #8 on:** February 13, 2008, 05:13:50 PM »

There once was a hefty young gal
who married her old Pirate Pal
she married a stiff
Yes, it was Shiff
I'm sorry for poor Missus Val

There once was the Player of Val
Who moved back in with his pal
but all to his doom
he now shares a bed room
with the player that's married to Sall

Love you guys!

oh! one more!

There once was a hefty young gal
who married her old Pirate Pal
she sure was quite huge
but she wasn't no stooge
Don't mess with the Mighty Miss Val

*snickers*

Frances · « **Reply #9 on:** February 13, 2008, 05:37:43 PM »

*reads Shiff's latest attempts at poetry*

While I appreciate the sentiment, I stand by my previous comment.

ycleption · « **Reply #10 on:** February 13, 2008, 08:07:00 PM »

In the mines of Haven quite cavernous
The gnolls were growing quite ravenous
Some adventurers they spied,
But said "we must must hide
Lest their swords they decide to jab in us!"

Pseudonym · « **Reply #11 on:** February 13, 2008, 09:03:21 PM »

King of dragons was Fisterion
Those seeking audience had one criterion
Tribute a-plenty
nineteen emeralds (perhaps twenty)
*sighs* Pseudo is no shakesperean

Skywatcher · « **Reply #12 on:** February 13, 2008, 09:11:01 PM »

There once was a paladin pure
With a curse only Toran could cure
She thought she could ask
Storold bout the task
Boy did she step in manure

Mooneyes · « **Reply #13 on:** February 13, 2008, 09:20:27 PM »

Peanut and Drex were a runnin'
Peanut thought "hey I can be cunnin'"
She tripped her to win
Drexia went into a spin
Peanut said "Now you know I's jus funnin."

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #14 on:** February 13, 2008, 09:32:49 PM »

Quote from: Pseudonym

King of dragons was Fisterion
Those seeking audience had one criterion
Tribute a-plenty
nineteen emeralds (perhaps twenty)
*sighs* Pseudo is no shakesperean

You spelt Shakespeare WRONG! *SLAPS!*

Pseudonym · « **Reply #15 on:** February 13, 2008, 11:34:24 PM »

*dodges the misdirected slap*

Thank you Captain Obvious, that wasn't accidental.

Criterion - shakesperean
Critearion - shakespearean

It is called clever wordplay

ycleption · « **Reply #16 on:** February 14, 2008, 12:40:44 AM »

Well, even without considering that the Bard himself spelled his name a number of different ways, making torturous multiple syllable rhymes is part of the point of Limericks... *looks at the mere end rhymes in Shiff's attempts, and then at the scintillating dactylic rhyme of the Haven limerick*

*cough*

Now an orc who had indigestion
Went around to his friends with this question:
Will eating humans or elves,
Gnomes dwarfs, or ourselves
Do the best job my breath (burp) to freshen?

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #17 on:** February 14, 2008, 12:44:30 AM »

Stop teasin me :p

Pseudonym · « **Reply #18 on:** February 14, 2008, 12:54:23 AM »

Cheaters, mulers, leechers beware
There is he who ensures a playing field fair
A forum maestro - with a handle of 'Dorg'
Pseudo's destiny - nowhere but the post-thanks-morgue
He's way in front with 400 to spare

ShiffDrgnhrt · « **Reply #19 on:** February 14, 2008, 01:00:39 AM »

Okay... Was that really a limerick...