Make an old man happy

[Nom]

My name is Droog and before I die I have a long held desire to work with Yew wood. Could anyone help an old man. I would be willing to pay or barter.

[Blackguy]

* Lin'da sees the notes and decides to write a reply *
 
 Dear Droog
 
 I seem to recall it was you selling those wonderfull Greater Scribing Parchments, and I guess it must have slipped past you. but those are not made without the aid of the wonderfull wood Yew, althou in dust form.
 
 Perhaps those you got the dust from can give you a whole branch instead. Just a friendly suggestion.
 
 Lin'da Sul'kolindo

[Nom]

Dear Lin'da
                My dear have you ever heard the expression "Dont teach your granny to suck eggs* If you had any skill in Food crafting you would see that only Hickory,Oak and Mahogany are used in greater patchment, which by the way i am offering for 2500 True each but 3000 true to your good self.Good luck with any further forays into cooking and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have a problem with your pie making or indeed even if you want to buy some.
Yours Cordially
Droog

[Blackguy]

I'll remember to refrain to act politely to people when giving advice, even when the advice is not always correct. I guess that good thoughts dont count anymore.

* she writes her notices and leaves the Trade Board *

[lonnarin]

Wish somebody would just make tha whole bloody WORLD happy and bring back soom yew seeds and plant em here in Hempstead fields!  We got, what... 10,000 druids and nobody kin plant ah tree?

In any case, iffn ye ever headed there ah beh happy ter coom along and help ye fight through thar.  Ahm gittin old too, and ornery... reckon them trees close enough.  We should talk to assemble a team.

-Bjornigar Ironguts

[ycleption]

*a blue clad figure is seen to write the following*

Right. Because druids want to go through all the work of harvesting yew seed-cones and planting them in accessible locations so that a bunch of savages with no regard for the trees themselves can hack them to pieces the second they grow big enough to be useful.
Ever consider that maybe druids plant useful things where people like you have a hard time getting to them on purpose?

[lonnarin]

Nah, not really.  They say not to hurt the animals but flinch when ah try ter sell em ah chain shirt.  It's like ah townsguard collecting baby skulls in the market square really, and telling everybody to be a good person like him.  Strappin dead babies to his chest and screaming "dont kill tha poor little babies!"

But that's off topic, we just planning for yew.  The smelly hirsute mule kissin tree huggers can go plot thar own tree hiding missions and weep fer tha baby squirrels for all I care.  Wont save the yew any!

-Bjorn

[Nom]

ah Mr Bjorn I would be delighted to accompanny you on such a journey but i cannot stress How OLD  I am . I am like the preverbial cat in the sense that he has nine lives and i feel it would be just a tad risky
yours Cordially
Droog