Author Topic: Lost (Read 3632 times)

scifibarbie · « **Reply #20 on:** May 28, 2009, 02:03:06 PM »

The woman in the village...she knew me. She said we were friends once, long ago when we were children.

She looked so old when i saw her, like the years hadnt been kind. But her eyes were kind and i trusted in that at least.

Blackpaw told me to go to this place, that it was from my past adn would help me heal. I trust her wisdom and did as she asked. Its all so familiar, yet so far away. :\\

Sally...her name was sally she told me. The best of friends when we were little. She told me how i was brought back to this place when everyone thought i had died. I was buried here...she tried to take me to that place...then everything went black. :mad:

All i remember is waking up near a small lake at dusk. O.o

scifibarbie · « **Reply #21 on:** June 03, 2009, 06:46:00 PM »

I had the dream again...well..it was different this time. The fog is still there, i still see the shadows.

Some are more visible now than the others...maybe because i have found them again..though they are still foggy. I at least know who they are now, though their past still hides in the fog. :\\

I saw blackpaw...she was trying to get me to follow her deeper into the mist. Trying to lead me someplace i know i i need to go, but im afraid.

Then i see it...it reaches towards me and...

I wake up.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #22 on:** June 03, 2009, 06:48:07 PM »

Spiders, spiders and more spiders.

Gods it seems im destined to be a spider smasher. Wherever i go, there they are.

I really dont like spiders. They hiss with this nasty blood curlding sound and when you see their vicitms all wrapped in cocoons and have dessicated cause theyve been made dinner. It just makes me shudder.

I really really dont like spiders. :mad:

scifibarbie · « **Reply #23 on:** June 03, 2009, 06:52:37 PM »

I was invited to the big celebration to open the new school of magic. It sounded so exciting. It was supposed to be a costume ball. I heard it was really really a great time.

I wish i had gone...well...no. Im glad i didnt.

Too many people, too much noise. I tried to go. But when i saw the whole morass of people and then all the noise..i jsut kinda freaked out i guess. I couldnt deal with it.

I think especially since i was sure i would get cornered by people who may have known me before, but i wouldnt know now. It makes things so hard sometimes. I swear, Im beginning to become afraid of people.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #24 on:** June 05, 2009, 04:59:12 PM »

Its been nice working with my hands again. I remember when or who taught me...but working with the wood again feels good.

It bends naturally in my hands nad lets me shape it to what is needed. Its good to have a purpose.

Something odd happened yesterday too. Some guy named Ido or Fido or something...Ido I think it was. He needed me to help him fix his bow after he cracked the shaft. It wasnt damaged as badly as he thought and i repaired it easily.

I just poured some resin into the cracks and heated it up to create a strong seal, sanded it down a little and poof. There it was, good as knew.

He kinda freaked out on me though, as I had to use a small knife on me and got it to burst into flames and cold to help seal and set the resin. He went all crazy on me and wanted to know how i did that. He said he only knew of one person who was ever able to do that.

I told him I didnt really know how, I just knew and did it. Its not like something you could read out of a book and do like a spell or something. Well...he started asking me all sorts of different questions about it, nad it was really frustrating for me, because i would love to be able to help him but my memory is still foggy about certain things like that. I told to him to talk to my friend Berak, since bear has told me alot about what I used to be like in the past. Maybe this will help us both. :\

scifibarbie · « **Reply #25 on:** June 12, 2009, 02:16:53 PM »

Well....the carnival was fun. Dancers, scary clowns, fun and games and the most disgusting eating contest Ive ever been a part of!

Mr Lance won that! He must have a dragons stomach or something...well...I actually dont think a dragon would have eaten the stuff that was put down in front of us!

I held out till the end, but that pudding made from puddings did me in! I beat out that half orc or giant or whatever he was. But i lost it when the stuff was all jiggly and moving in my stomach! I swear I am having to replace my leathers after that ordeal. Still cant get the smell out! IT took me and Mr Lance a week to get over being sick from that. O.o

In the end, it was a good time. At least until miss argali was being pickpocketed by a werecat! She caught him and put it to the ground easy enough. It was acting strange, and turns out it was stealing shinies and coins to bribe the guards to let it escape.

It wasnt a threat in the end, it just wanted to be free. I really understadn its feelings there. I was tempted to try and sneak back into the camp later on and let him go. He wasnt a threat to anyone. He would have headed for the forest and disappeared. Some stupid jerk kept trying ot have him killed because his god demanded it. Aeridin or something...i dont know why, but I really really didnt like that god. :mad: And not just because he was trying to execute an innocent creature.

In the end, i was too sick to try and get back to the camp and i think the smell on my clothes would have alerted the guards. At least the animals there werent being treated to badly. Maybe at some point i can track down the carnival and let the were free.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #26 on:** June 12, 2009, 02:20:40 PM »

Darkness...its all around me. Its oppressive, theres no wind in some these places, and something is always just out of sight round the corner.

Im glad Im not alone...hte group seems to be upbeat enough, the dwarf and vrebs and trally are having a ball. Mining is their thing i guess.

We've been down here for a about a week and I cant wait to get tot he fresh air again!

Mr Wren is at least making jokes and keeping our spirits up!

scifibarbie · « **Reply #27 on:** June 15, 2009, 05:13:44 PM »

*the ink and paper are heavily tear stained and the paper has been crumpled several times and reflattened.

Last night was so hard. I cried my eyes out and even my friends the squirrels couldn't console me.

Ever since Ive been back, Bear has been so kind to me. Asking for nothing from me and being so patient with all my problems. I feel so much for him, but in the end I had to let him go.

I care for him so much, I've always felt it deep inside of me, but I dont know why. And i think that is the most troubling part of this. I dont know who I am, or who he is beyond my return from the....from wherever it was i was.

I care for him so much and i know i would give up everything for him if i had the chance. Is this what it means to be in love? How can i love someone i barely know? I am just so confused...what was it about him that attracted me to him in the first place? How did we meet? What were we like? Was I a different person than the one i am now? Maybe hes hoping I'll become the same person I was when he first met me. What if i dont?

I dont know what to do. But giving him his ring back, seemed the best thing to do at the time. I cant bear the thought of him wasting his life on me when i dont even know who I am. How can I be the person he needs me to be when I dont even know who I am?

Someone once told me the xeenites are the ones to talk to about these things...maybe i should go there and ask.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #28 on:** June 24, 2009, 02:04:00 AM »

Went out with mr sall again. That was quite the adventure let me say! Whenever i end up travelling with him strange things always seem to happen!

Lord Reaver, i wonder where he got that title from. He obviously was trying to keep a low profile when i saw him in hurm. Which is really funny, cause hes always into something since ive been back. O.o

Well...we had to oust some pirates, which was realyl tough. Seems they had a squid head keeping them in line. Well, we wiped em out and had a rough time of it too! Mr Ark (his second mate-wait till miss tegan hears about that!) kept whining about using up his special scrolls, and put his name on one to be sure to use it on him. Which it was..i think...thngs were kinda nuts at that point and he didnt look so hot for awhile. At least he got us free beer while on the ship.

Well, we also were supposed to try and save a poor girl who had been kidnapped for a ransom or blackmail or something..unfortunately we were able to get to her in time. They fed her to some wild boars...she was an awful mess when we found her.

Mr Sall took it really hard, he tried to revive her but he couldnt..so in the end we returned her to her family.

I felt really bad for mr sall. He tried really hard to save her. Maybe i shoudl bake hima pie or something to try and cheer him up. :\

scifibarbie · « **Reply #29 on:** June 24, 2009, 02:07:42 AM »

Gods my hands are sore! Ive been making arrows and bolts left and right for the mistone army. Master belis idea on helping them get ready for a war with some cult. Im good be the finest arrow maker on mistone by the time im done i bet! :rolleyes:

I dont know much about them, but i know they arent good. He told us they had been spotted coming out of the swamps south of hempy and to be careful.

Maybe I should head out and try to see if i can track any of them down. From the sounds of it they are being pretty good about covering their tracks. But maybe i can smell em out. Its worth a try anyway. :\

scifibarbie · « **Reply #30 on:** June 24, 2009, 02:09:56 AM »

Well...Im still really confused about what to do with bear. It hurts my heart that i had to do what i did. But i think its for the best. But best for who? Him or me...im too much in my own head i think.

Sometimes maybe i should just follow my nose more.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #31 on:** June 24, 2009, 02:12:41 AM »

I think ive come to decision. I cant stand being without bear. I dont know why but i really miss him alot. More than i care to admit to myself right now.

I left him cause i felt i didnt know why he loved me and cared for me so much and i didnt know why i felt for him so much. I still dont, i just know i do.

I think bear wont mind. I think i want to start over with him. Maybe try and relearn why we feel so much for each other.

I hope he says yes.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #32 on:** June 24, 2009, 05:34:13 PM »

I was wandering around the woods the other day and stopped to take a nap under a tree.

When I woke up miss ferrit was standing nearby with some strange guy. I thought I would stop and say hello and see how she was doing. Turns out the guy she was talking to was her husband...and my old teacher, the one who taught me to use my mothers sword. Kyle Pandorn was his name.

Its always uncomfortable when i meet someone who was that close to me and not even be able to recognize them aside from their smell. I feel horrible that I cant remember anything about them, and that they know so much about me. :\\

He was rally nice, although miss ferrit had to shut his mouth for him a couple times because he was hanging all slack jawed and stuff. It was kinda funny actually, just seeing it i mean.

They asked me to help them go for some platty in the troll mine, so i did. Mr Kyle wanted to see if i still remembered any of my old lessons on how to fight while we were there too. O.o

I guess I did alright cause he seemed to smile and said some nice things to me after we go done turning the trolls to goo. He even got back into teacher mode and started correcting me on a few things! That was weird, mainly because i dont ever remember anyone teaching me anything at all, but it was nice actually.

Miss Ferrit was jsut smiling and giggling at Mr Kyle. Something about him never stopping being the teacher or something. I guess hes a weapon master or something like that. Whatever that means, probably that hes a teacher of course!

scifibarbie · « **Reply #33 on:** July 22, 2009, 01:55:59 PM »

I miss my bear.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #34 on:** October 08, 2009, 07:45:19 PM »

*The loose pages of her journal are all covered in a light coat of salt and have become a bit tattered and brittle as the seawater has gotten more thana few pages wet...

Well...this is fun. Im glad i finally got my sea legs. I was soo tired of hurling over the side of the prow with every wave! O.o

Weve been at sea for almost a a fortnight nad still havent seen hide nor sil of that stupid pirate ship. How are we supposed to stop those stupid raiders if they wont attack.

At least the fishing is good. :\

scifibarbie · « **Reply #35 on:** October 08, 2009, 07:50:05 PM »

Finally...some peace and quiet. My hands are killing me from climbing up and down those stupid riggings all the time!

Apparently i irritated someone for some reason and they got me on crows nest duty. Its normally not so bad, except when stinky sam shows up keeps hitting on me. And i cant get this stupid grin off my face...I feel happy that im here, except when stinky sam is with me. I swear Im gonna toss him into the drink if he keeps it up! :mad:

At lease Hestus is pretty nice, albeit a bit quiet. Though Im always a bit on edge when hes around. Him and the captain are like complete opposites...I dont get how they got together.

scifibarbie · « **Reply #36 on:** October 08, 2009, 08:00:37 PM »

*the parchment reads as if the person writing in it was extremely agitated..the pen marks obviously pushing intothe paper deeply.

I was in the forest today playing with some squirrels. It was lots of fun until...

My nightmare finally came for me! Gods! She appeared out of the woods, and was all nicey nicey...then she got close and..and..i knew it was her! THe hunter found me! I just froze...my body just felt numb, my legs and arms felt like they were dead. I was forozen on the spot. She had come for me!

Somehow..Im not sure how...I couldnt think..then i felt the warmth flow through me as suddenly my sword was in my hand and it was coursing with fire and lightning! I just lashed out with my sword then and ran!

I woke up deeper in the woods in the crook of a tree. Im not sure how long I had been there.

She wont take me back! Not again!>:/

scifibarbie · « **Reply #37 on:** October 08, 2009, 08:19:49 PM »

So I met this strange elf named Omer. I guess hes a part of the Angels guild or something, him and his girlfriend miss hanna were talking about some magic school they were opening. I guess hes gonna be hte headmaster or something important like that.

He was nice, and though i recognized his smell...and not him. He was nice about it. I guess miss hanna let him in on me or something. Cause he didnt ask alotof questions about what happened to me.

He did say that maybe I should look into what I am to help me remember stuff. Spellsword he said i was. Bear told me that too..that i was trained along time ago and maybe trying ot revisit my training might help me. O.o

I did find some old papers and stuff with notes about it I had written awhile ago. And Mr Omer showed me a book i found for him once. Though he had yet to decipher its pages. He said they had a magical enchantment on them, but they were important. Something about the secrets of some old school in point dart, wherever that is.

I think i should talk to him again about it. Write now I guess I need to head into katherian. I dont like the smell of this place...but i guess there are some nasty pirates causing trouble. DOnt know how mr Caer talked me into this one. I get seasick really bad. O.o

scifibarbie · « **Reply #38 on:** October 08, 2009, 10:48:29 PM »

Bear was so sweet. He really wants to help me...He said he had something of mine that was important to me once.

It was wrapped in some nice cloth and obviously taken care of...He said he tried to write it on a few times. But his heart wasnt in it.

He also gave me another set of books. He said these belonged to my mother and grandmother. He said dad gave him the whole set when i fell. That they were mine and belonged together.

Im actually kind of scared to go thru them. Will I like who i was before i came back? I dont know...

Bear was really sweet, I think Ill bake him a pie. Miss Tegan said she would show me how.

Though Im kinda nervous...everytime I see Mr Caer he keeps talking to me in elfish. Said I was learning it before..before I went away. He thought it would help to get into old habits again..I guess. :\

scifibarbie · « **Reply #39 on:** October 11, 2009, 05:39:08 PM »

It was interesting last noght. I saw Ira again after a really long time, and he was trying to help Flynn out. Apparently lynn is tryin gto learn the ways of the Spellsword. Flynn...who would of thought that, he usually more interested in singing and drinking than anything else! Still, hes alright. :p

He asked me if i could help him out, so I thought I would try and help. He asked specifically about casting in armor. The theory is easy enough, doing it is another matter! O.o

I was reading in my old journal about my teacher...that and my body ached as I read it, like it remembered what i went through! He had me wearing this old rusty armor that barely moved at all then he started casting at me and told me to do something! EESH...what a nightmare that must have been!

Flynn didnt seem to keen on this type of practice.

In the end, as we were talking, I kinda thought about Flynn and his strengths...I told him to think about dancing and how he played his instruments. How you had to be fluid with your movements and then things will start to work. I know my teacher always thought grace was one of the biggest issues I had! :\\

Still...flynn has a lot to learn but at least he seems genuinely sincere about learning the ways of the Spellsword.