Ygraine Ursus - Notes in a Diary

[Acco]

Born human, she was raised in her mountain village by her tribe, learning from the different roles each member of the tribe had. She had a milk nurse from birth, her mother having died during delivery, and her father killed on a hunting trip to capture bears. The tribe would send young children into the forests to trap or kill bears as a test of their coming of age to become true warriors.

Her milk nurse was a dwarf called Annur, because that's what everyone who came into her home called out to the dwarf before they entered, and so she learned to speak human and dwarven from birth. Once she was fully weaned and could walk, the tribal council honoured Annur by asking her to train and rear the child until she could take part in the annual forest hunt to which all children took part in.

As she grew older, she would learn to hunt game and fish, and soon learned that she was different from her kin in some ways. She would frequently fly into a rage, tearing her hair and beating her chest, and would charge at her prey with abandon for her personal safety. When asked about this, she would reply that she could feel the spirit of a bear inside her; her tribe’s totem.

This placed her into an elite group of warriors who were revered for this feat. As she was the only woman in the tribe who did this, she was tutored into the role of shaman at the feet of her village shaman so she would take over when the shaman passed on: a true honour. The tribal elders thought that she would bring great strength to the village as she would be the first shaman berserk they had ever had. With this in mind, they trained her hard for her roles as shaman. They hoped that with training and experience, she may actually be able to use the spirit she felt within to become the very creature itself.

Her training as a warrior also grew as she was allowed to take part, and even lead, raids on other tribes and animals. Her prowess and her belief in her totem created an aura about her that urged her fellow tribesmen to even greater feats.

She learned much from the shaman; she learned that other peoples had laws, which they enforced strictly in some communities. She found this strange as she knew in her heart that the only law was that of nature; individuals do not matter, only outcomes. Her shaman told her that all things return to the wild after death, to begin the great cycle once again, and that makes everyone all kin to each other. She was taught respect for others and honesty in her dealings with others, but she also learned to keep her eyes and ears open and be wary of the sly blade, the wrongful tongue. Even in her childhood, she had to beat a fellow child near to death to gain the peace she needed while she meditated by the side of a stream. The child was about her own age and size, but her fury overcame her and made her relentless. When the tribal elders took them both to their gathering and their stories were heard, they all agreed she had not acted inappropriately and had in fact shown restraint in not slaying her tormentor.

This ruling reinforced the law of the individual to her, and she came to understand her role in maintaining it. Good and bad meant nothing to her; it was all a matter of perspective. There will always be weaker people, and she had no qualms in leaving them to struggle with their daily drudge.

She once came across a small family who’s wagon had thrown a wheel while crossing their land, and they were under attack from some cougars. Ygraine was out hunting herself, so she attacked and slew the cougars and calmly trussed the bodies for carriage to her tribe. The family came to her to offer her praise and thank her for her help: she simply said that she was only hunting and had had no intention of rescuing them. If they had gotten out of their depth, then that was their problem. They insisted on rewarding her though, so as a reward, she helped them repair their wagon, then got them to take the cougar bodies back to her village.

As she grew up, she learned she had an uncle called Droog Ursus who had gained renown as the Pie Meister.

One day she was out searching for herbs for her shaman craft when she heard the sounds of battle from her village. Although far way, she ran until she crested the hill to look down to the small river valley her tribe had camped in. The entire village had been destroyed by another tribe, leaving none alive.

Young, alone and without shelter, her fury mounting, the young Ygraine decided to leave this place and seek her only remaining relative, Droog, to ask him for help to avenge her tribe. She left Northern Krashin and wandered her way to Mistone in search of her lost uncle. Somehow, during these wilderness treks, she lost her link to her tribe's totem and is more lost and alone now than she ever believed she could be.

[Acco]

I have arrived in Mistone at last.
 
 I am wet, tried and alone, but I must keep on. My totem has deserted me (or have I deserted it?) but I don't need it; I know what I must do. I must find Droog and seek his help.
 
 I found some employ cleaning out a sewer. It gav eme enough money to resupply after that awful journey, but now it's time to move on.
 
 On my way north, I found a strange settlement where a woman asked me to deliver some items for her. I was going that way anyway, so I accepted. They lived in permanent tents, huge they were, and had hard paths to follow on Very strange, and will take some getting used to I suppose, but for now, I am heading into the wilderness again; joy.

[Acco]

I have found a huge place, I think they call it a city, Hempstead, and it has huge tents, hard ground and very little growing life. I was going to leave quickly, but a soldier asked for my help in recovering a stick from some kobolds, so I accepted.
 
 I met a woman called Lellwen who helped me a little bit, but what I discovered in theur camp was a nest of shamans which made me stop. They were performin' some ritual which I vaguely recognised and that made me think about my past some.
 
 I delivered the stick the guard, took his money and moved on.
 
 Some time later, I came across a man called Admorin Oakbound, who told me he was  druid. I was surprised to say the least. He spoke more than I did, but he spoke sense about his part in the worl and how his actions restored balance and everything. It was as if I wa slistening to my old shaman back in my early days.
 
 I left Admorin to continue my search for Droog, but his words have rekindled my old feellings about my clan's totem - I wonder if he would forgive me for ever losing faith and doubting him.
 
 Time will tell.

[Acco]

Met a man called Zahid something-or-other - said he came form the desert? he talked about the trees and stuff, but he reminded me of my old tribal shaman the way he showed respect for growing things.
 
 He reintroduced concepts about life that I had quite forgotten about in my rage over the death of my tribe, and although I don't really belive him, I thought I could see a bear wathcing me from the edges of my sight.
 
 I listened to him though as he seemed older than me in years and in devotion to his following.

[Acco]

I was in Hlint delivering some goblin ears to the sergeant and saw Admorin Oakbound again. He helped me collect a few more ears, but he changed into a bear in front of me and I got a shock! It was like seeing myself change into my totem - what power.
 
 I had to know more so once we had finished, I listened to Admorin for hours until he grew hoarse from recounting. He spoke about the balance of all things, life and death and the natural order of things. I could agree with most of what he said, but somehow, my memory kept returning to my tribe and what had happened to them, and all I felt was rage.
 
 Admorin could see this in me, but helped me calm and told me how I should try to funnel my anger into more contol which would allow me to feel my totem better. I tried and tried and was about to give up, in anger at me feebleness, when again, I saw the bear out of the corner of my eye. The more I looked at him, the more vague he became, but I found that by not looking at him, I could feel him!
 
 Yes, I know I said feel him, but I could feel his heart's slow beat, his blood coursing through his majestic frame, his height, towering above most wild things; and most of all, his power!
 
 What power, and I felt that I could somehow tap into that power and use it myself. As I concentrated though, I felt him slip away and I grew angry, but then, miracle of miracles, I felt him grow in me (or was it me in him) and I could feel his power.
 
 I channeled my anger a little, tried to focus it on a rabbit, but it went as soon as I did. It hit me like a thunderbolt! I can use my anger, but not to hurst creaure of the wild, especially if they are of no threat.
 
 What a revelation; I felt at peace with the wild and nature, yet I felt such raw power too.
 
 I must study more...

[Acco]

I was delivering some packages in Hlint for Freya when I met Annwyl and Alzira and they asked if I could help them with some goblins. I was going to refuse, but Admorin arrived and said he had time to give me to help me train my spirit side.

The four of us went into the caves and all the way, Admorin taught me how to feel the spirit, even in a cold stone place. I srtuggled, to be fair to him, but every so often I could see my totem just on the edge of my sight.

Admorin told me to focus my anger, to channel by feelings and to use the environment to help me pull the spirit to me. He changed into many creatures during that trip: I knew deep down I would do it too, but it just kept eluding me.

Annwyl and Alzira were great help, but I fear we largely ignored them as Admorin was intent on helping me and I was too intent on trying to find my spirit. On the way back out though, Annwyl got surprised and was attacked most ferociously, and I felt my stomach lurch. The old anger was there, but as I ran to her aid, I could feel my bear spirit's presence, helping me, giving me strength. I charged into the fray and killed the goblin in one stroke; I was sure the bear had come out of me, but the others said it looked like a rage to them. Perhaps the rage was the prelude to my bear side and I killed th egoblin too quick for it to appear for them. I hope so.

I am feeling more in touch with my totem as time goes by, but I need it to come now. I can't wait any longer.

[Acco]

I spent an eternity listening to the wilds, the sounds of plants, then animals, the very air and water themselves.

Admorin is right. I discovered that I could channel my anger to influence the amll animals to some degree so they would approach me and take nuts and fruit from my hand. I tried to hold them many times, but they scuttled away, still, this is a small victory for me as I have never tried to befriend animals before. The bear hunts, the bear kills, the bear kills. I am the bear. But now I wonder if perhaps there is more to it than that.

I also came across a man called Zahid, but he talked too much and my head hurt after a while, so I left him to his ramblings. Some of his words struck home though, and I shall ponder them, but I felt he went too far.

I have now spent a week in the wilds, hunting and fishing for sustenance, but other than that, I have not attacked anything so far and I have made friends among the small animals. I even thought I heard a tree sigh at me earlier today.

Perhaps I am starting to control the anger.

Perhaps.

[Acco]

It has now been nearly 9 months since I left Krashin and I have become more settled with the animals and the wild around me.

I used to hunt and kill, but never too much, to keep the balance. Then I lost it all when my clan were killed, but now I am starting to feel the spirit totem move within me once again, long hidden as it was. I can feel the wind in my hair, and the water on my hands. I can smell the animals and the plants.

Sure, I still get angry, especially when I smell goblins and kobolds, but they are not nature's own creatures: they are surely an abomination.

I recently met Genna and Valanca (she's an elf too) and they were strange, in a different strange sort of way. Genna seems lost too; maybe she will find her way. Valance seemed distant, but I think elves are like that.

My friend Annwyl though is a pillar of strength for me, helping me control my anger and my rage; although she can throw a mean fit too when we are fighting. I think she must have some barbarian in her too.

I must not write any more as it is getting too dark to see, and it's time for me to try to commune with the night creatures now. I hope I find my spirit totem before too long now: I don't think he's deserted me, I just think he's testing me and waiting on... something?

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I had a strange dream last night.

I dreamt I was in a grove and surrounded by a group of robed people who were asking me about my anger, my axe, but totem. They set me a challenge to overcome an ogre who guarded a bridge, and to sharpen my axe on his stone as proof.

I saw the ogre and asked him for safe passage, but he challenged me to a fight. His axe was huge, and he had bear teeth around his neck, in a necklace.

I knew I could try to fight him, with my own axe. I knew I could try to summon my anger and use what bear power I could to attack him. But somehow, I knew I did not need to fight him at all, that I had another option.

I calmed myself and concentrated and I could feel the life force in the animals around us. I reached out my mind and contacted a badger! He ran to my aid and ran around the ogre, distracting him easily, so that I could sharpen my axe, as challenged.

I dimly remember dreaming I was back with the robed people and many were smiling, but a few were certain that I would falter in time.

When I awoke, I went wandering and met up with Annwyl, dear Annwyl, and a funny short man called Snozle or something; my mind was still half on my dream. Annwyl suggested we check on the goblins to make sure they were behaving, and led the way.

Some goblins attacked us, and I pulled out my axe to help, but it nearly burned my hand. In shock, I held onto it to help Annwyl, but when I tried to attack the goblins, I instead fired a spell at them. I was shocked, how could this happen!

Annwyl and Snozle beat the goblins and we retired to the camp site outside Hlint. We had no sooner sat down to recover when I fell asleep, and when I awoke, I knew why I had felt my axe hot and had cast a spell. I had left my old ways behind! My spirit was guiding me on a new path, a path of nature and neutrality.

The path of a druid. I would become a shaman at long last and this was my first step.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I met Annwyl Cadi again today and we talked for hours. She is an interesting person indeed and I find her very captivating.

Not to belittle Annwyl in any way though, while we were talking, I became very aware of the animals around us; the large animals like horses that went past us, the small animals like the badgers and even the insects. I mentioned this to Annwyl as we spoke, but she said she had seen no animals at all. I knew they were there though.

As Annwyl was talking, I thought I would try to 'think' at a badger that I could feel around the corner of the grove. I was listening to Annwyl, but part of me was reaching out. I tried for a little while but was not having any luck and was beginning to get annoyed when suddenly, Annwyl stopped talking and looked at me strangely.

I looked to see what had drawn her attention, and saw that my feet had turned into bear claws! I stared at them, but as I did so, they turned back into my normal feet again. I looked at Annwyl and asked her if she had seen what I had seen, but she was deathly white and simply nodded yes.

I was surprised, but not horrified as I know my bear totem is guiding me now and is showing me I have the power to control my shape. I need more practice and time, but I know I can get there. The animals know it too, as I felt a sense of oneness with them just before Annwyl stopped talking.

My anger is still there too: perhaps that is the fuel that drives me, but as long as I can control it, it won't run my life, and strangely, even though my feet had changed, I felt no alarm at all as I knew I was still whole and still me.

I know I can do this.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~
 
 An interesting week I have spent up in the hills and valleys, away from people and civilization. I spent the entire time living off berries and small game and fish as I had as a child. It brought back many happy memories for me and I feel truly rested, possibly for the first time since arriving in Mistone.
 
 I was awoken during the night by a small party of wolves, looking for food. My first instinct was to go for my weapons, but I stopped myself and watched them instead. I saw their hackles fall, and they came over to me and licked my hands and arms, and feet and settled down quite happily around my camp fire.
 
 I suddenly realised they could hear me, and I them, and understand them. What a revelation. I got one of them to follow me around while the others sat still, and led him back to the camp after some minutes, all without any problems at all.
 
 I was sitting talking to them, in what I hope is a wolfy type voice, when I noticed that my hand had started to change ever so slightly into a claw. It wasn't an animal claw, it looked more reptilian, but I didn't panic or get angry and continued to stroke the wolf. My whole lower arm took on this shape, and still the wolf didn't stir. My other arm took on the shape and form all at once, and still the wolf didn't move.
 
 Then I realised why.
 
 The wolf wasn't concerned about outer appearances, only what it could sense from my inner being It could sense anger, frustration, the hunt, blood - all these things. But I was at peace in myself and strong in my own being, so I knew who I was and it was this calmness that I was feeling that the wolf was picking up on. I was projecting, and being, the leader of the pack. I was calm, self-assured, and in control. And because of this, the wolves were the same.
 
 I tried to will the changes in my arms to grow, but they would not, so I concentrated on returning to my normal skin. My right arm returned almost immediately - that was the second arm to change - but the left arm remained resolute, immobile; almost as if it was trying to tell me something.
 
 Slightly concerned about this failure, I told the wolves to return to the woods and they took off, so I tried to return my arm to normal. I was thinking about what I could do, when I became aware of my bear totem in my mind, and he was telling me something. When I looked again, my arm had become my own once again.
 
 Or had it always been mine? Was my body telling me something my mind did not understand as yet? Or, and more worryingly, was it all a dream and simply my mind's desire to lose it's form?
 
 I shall need to ponder more on this. I shall talk to Admorin, perhaps, but I shall definitely talk to Annwyl. She may not know, but she will listen.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I was outside Hlint, when I saw some movement on the hills and went to explore. On the way, a raven attacked me, but armed as I was, I could not talk to it and it attacked and I killed it. I was about to pick it's poor dead body off the ground, when a goblin attacked me. We set to each other and I managed to overcome the goblin, then became aware of an elf behind me. He called himself Drogo.

Drogo and I retired to a small hillock and we discussed many things, as Drogo is a druid. He helped me control the animals so they will not attack and told me how to bend them to my will and how to release them again. We talked a long time about nature and and I feel more in tune now than I did before, but he did worry me when he said he knew of two who had wandered from the path, and I think it was because they lost their forms. I can feel my form changing, and when I described it to him he said it must have been a dream, but I am sure it was not. I know who I am and I am strong in myself, so I know I will not go the path of the two he described.

One was called Aerimor. I must seek him out.

Oh, and he said I should seek Legodia and pay my respects. I must do that as soon as I can.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~
 
 I was heading through Wayfayre and met a man called Ben Poetr. We spoke a while and he told me he was the captain of the Angel's, a guild of merchants.
 
 He offered to sell me a ring, but I had no enough coin, so he accpted what I had if I accompany him to collect some herbs. I agreed after some thought,and we saw some sights along the way. I was most pleased though when I talked him out of needlessly killing some poor animals on the road to the Ore Hills. He picked his mushrooms and then we went to the marshes where I told him of my background and spoke to him about the wildlife and the natural progress of things.
 
 Back at his shop, I met a woman called Essa, who is very pretty and on the way out a man whistled at me. Ben laughed and told him it wouldn't work, but I don't know what he meant by that.
 
 But I have spoken to someone new and tried to change their outlook on nature's providence, so I am happy that I have moved at least one person along a better path.
 
 I saw a griffin too.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I have been a little remiss in writing you up, dear diary, so please forgive me.

A lot has happened since my last writings, and it is difficult to know where to start, but here goes...

I was repairing my armour when I met Annwyl, dear heart that she is, and she was on her way to meet Cardin: he's a druid, although he calls himself a gardener. There was also a man called Tanner, I think that's his name, but I didn't really like him. First person I have met here that I think I can say that about. Oh, and Val was there too. She's nice, but very quiet.

We went to Hammerbound peaks and they helped Annwyl and I get the oil for Juanita in Llast, so that was good, but the best was watching Cardin and the way he helped the bears we met. He did do a lot of gardening, mainly with blood, but it does help the flowers grow.

He told me a lot of the ways of nature, the plants and the animals, but he didn't really know a lot about changing his shape. We went to what I thought was the top of the mountain, looking for mushrooms, but there were none and Cardin looked a little unhappy.

I spent some time there thinking on what Cardin had said and sent my thoughts out to the animals as I was doing it. I must have drifted off to sleep though for I am sure that as I thought about what Cardin said, my legs grew scales, like a small lizard, and my hands became claws as well. I walked around and as I did, sprouted small wings and lifted off the ground. It was amazing, and even though this was happening, I knew I was still me and was unafraid of the changes. I was about to fly off some more when I became aware of Annwyl shaking me. She told me I was sleeping, but I don't think I was really. If it was a dream, perhaps it is a dream of things to come. I hope so.

I was quiet on the way back though, thinking on what I had felt when I had changed and it made me happy. I felt grounded the whole time through it and never once felt lost. I thank my bear spirit for that, but I also thank dear Annwyl too. She is so in tune with her sword and her practice that she makes all others seem like shadows.

I must practice more and see if I can get others to see these changes.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I am trying to catch up on all the things that has happened to me, so sorry if it seems rushed or I forget things, dear diary.

I went back to Krashin, to my old hunting lands, and found our last clan camp. The grasses had overrun it all now, but I could still make out the circles of the houses and the cooking places and the shaman circle. I sat in the circle and tried to talk to my bear totem, as my old shaman had taught me to, and after a while, I saw him in the distance, watching me. I felt a great peace descend on me then and I felt the anger leave me in peace and the life and colours around me began to soften.

I started to think of my shape again, and after a few hours like this, I felt my legs and arms change and take on scales and claws. I relaxed then as somehow I knew I had found the way to change and was doing it without any effort. After a short time, I grew wings on my back, and then my body changed and grew scales and my head changed too. Without any thought, I flapped my wings and lifted off the ground.

I was flying!!

Carefully at first, then becoming bolder, I flew to the edge of the tress to show my bear spirit what I had done, but he had gone. Only a little disappointed, I flew into the prairie and covered miles of ground, watching the small animals as they went about their daily lives.

I must have flow miles and miles that day, for I was becoming quite tired, and when I turned around to go back to the shaman circle, I realised I was quite lost. Unperturbed though, I landed by a small stream to refresh myself, before I continued my journey.

The next thing I knew was I awoke to the sounds of the birds and their morning calls, and I was in the middle of the shaman circle. I do not remember coming back again, but I suppose I must have, for I was here.

I must try again. I was so excited when I woke up I want to do it again right away.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I have now almost caught up, dear diary, so it may explain why I was in such a hurry to get everything else down first.

I met Annwyl and we went to the swamps together, along with another woman called Grendola. We found a castle and a overcame the leader of their clan after a hard fight. Annwyl was amazing. The funny thing was that we decided to rest on the way out, and while I was standing watch, after fighting the lizards, I thought I heard a noise and went to look. I stepped down of the stair I was on and started to fly towards the sound. I was very quiet, but even so, I managed to scrape a wing and a scaled leg of a wall as I turned a corner. I paused in mid-air, and listened, but I heard nothing other than he gentle flapping of my wings. Encouraged, I carried on, but the room turned out to be empty.

I was turning about to get back to the others when Annwyl shook me awake. I told her what I had done, but she said I had been sleeping, after she had relieved my watch and that I had not left the spot. I looked at her with wonderment in my eyes, for I am sure I had changed, but Annwyl wouldn't lie to me.

I thought about this as we left the marshes and what struck me was that I had changed without any thought about doing so. I was still me, but my shape had altered - I do notknow what this creature is that I am assuming, but it i not a bear. Perhaps I should investigate this shape further.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~

I have now caught up, dear diary, and this news is the best.

After we parted at the marshes, I went to Hempstead to seek knowledge on my shape and met a powerful wizard who told me I might find the answer in Spellguard.

Off I went and on the way, met dear Annwyl. We went to Spellguard and on the journey came across some gnolls who we fought. They were tough, but we triumphed in the end. It was after the last fight, covered in blood, that Annwyl told me she loved me.

Oh rapturous joy! I was overcome with emotion and could only hug her tightly and murmur in her ear that I felt the same. My heart was full of love and joy and all at once I felt completely whole; as if I was at one with the world. I was at peace, and content, and at long last, complete.

The trip to Spellguard was uneventful, but we were so besotted it didn't matter, even when we got to the tower and it was closed. We simply sat at the edge of the cliffs and watched the world go by, cradled in each other's arms.

It was in that position at that point that I knew I would soon be able to change my shape at will, and without any thought.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~  

 What can I add to my diary that can explain the changes I am now feeling?
 
 I met a new woman called Sy'ris, she's an elf, but I think she comes from the desert as she is blck skinned. Nice though, but quiet.
 
 Anyway, what I an trying to say is that Annwyl has changed me somehow, for I was with her and Xanya, another elf who doesn't talk in common, and we met a man called Isherwood. He was going into a cave so we teamed up. On the hill near the cave was a huge griffin and Isherwood was going to kill it, but I stopped him and instead calmed the griffin and git it to folllow us.
 
 We ran into some gnolls, and the hurt Annwyl and I got so angry I attacked them and forgot about the griffin and it got killed in the figh defending me. I was hurt at it's death, and collected it's remains to honour it,when Xnya spoke to me in roars and grunts and I understood her.
 
 She is a bear warrior and she said she could feel some of my pain, I thnk, but what amazed me most was that as she and Annwyl consoled me, I am sure my feet changed inside my boots as my anger left and my feelings settled again an I regained my composure. I untied my boots, but when I looked, my feet were normal, but I know they were changing.
 
 Later on in the cave,Isherwood gave his life defending Xanya, and it was the bravest thing I have seen. I tried to save Isherwood too, but even my companion got killed and we were lcky to get out alive.
 
 My bear spirit was there; I sensed him, but I knew that anger was not the path to follow this time. If only could have become the winged lizard I can feel just inside me, I'm sure I could have saved Isherwood too.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~  

I spent another week in the mountains, trying to practice talking to the animals and nature herself, and trying to change my shape. I was out on the Dragon Isles with some others, and talked a Forest Render into helping us, a Grizzly Bear, a Parrot, and a few other animals.

We lost Sy'ris and Xanya for while in the caves of the cow bears, and I nearly got killed when I was turned to stone, but Jebediah saved me until I could break free and kill it.

I left them to return back though and stayed up there. And it was during the end of that time, when I was trying to talk to a grizzle bear, with my dear Poo-azzh at my side (my companion) that I turned into a bear myself!!

Poo and I ran about the mountains like that for hours and hours and what fun we had, swimming, hunting and rolling about. Later that night, when we rested, I am sure I felt the scales return to my legs and arms, but when I awoke, it was the sound of Poo's snoring that have startled me and my legs and arms were normal. Worried it had all been a dream, I thought about my shape and there I was, a bear again, so I know that is now part of me now.

I shall keep communing and will become my true shape in time. I know I can do it.

[Acco]

~~ The path to becoming a shifter - my true form ~~
 
 More time ithe mountains, this time in Brech, out past Brenuth. Oh how these ranges and the snow reminded me of home.
 
 I was meditating and trying to change into a lizard, I can change into a bear or wolf with ease now, but it is a slow process. I think I am doing it, but when I look more closely at my legs, feet or hands, they seem to dissolve back to himan form again.
 
 I was wandering about as a bear, with Poo, my spirit guide, as company, when I saw some adventurers in the distance, so I went over to see what they were up to.
 
 They were heading up the mountains to get some sort of crystalline thing, so I changed back to my human shape and sent Poo into the woods to wait for me and joined them.
 
 We were a mighty horde, but not very powerful and we got hurt a lot, but we battled our way to a cave of giants and had a great battle in there. On the way, I talked a dire tiger into joining us for a while and she as a great help. However, I went to sleep and found the tiger had deserted me and when I went to talk to her, she attacked me. I was sure my legs and arms had changed into lizards, and that was why she attacked, but the others said no, and that I looked as if I was dream-walking.
 
 Perhaps they were right, but I can feel this change becoming stronger within me and I know I just need a small leap to break the barrier and be able to change into this lizard form that I know I can be.
 
 In fact, I am wondering now if this human shape is not just a shell, and that I can take any shape I want to. Even as a bear, I know I am still me, yet my shape has changed, so perhaps I do not really have any shape that is me, since they are all me?
 
 Hmm, this needs some more thought; I may be onto something....