The layo drinking song

[Hellblazer]

One bottle of xeenite wine on the wall....

(fill in with your witts Lads and lass's)

[David2229]

Two bottles of Xeenite wine on the wall
Two bottles of Xeenite wine
Take one down pass it around
Two bottles of Xeenite wine on the wall!

[darkstorme]

As a disclaimer, while I don't mean to be insulting to anyone's character, the nameless bard singing this song in a nameless tavern seems quite intent on making some powerful enemies.  That being said, if music be the food of love, this one's a vindaloo...
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(To be sung in 4/4 time, with a swing - eighth note pairs are to be interpreted as a quarter-note/eighth-note triplet)

Gather 'round, ye lads and lasses, grab yerselves an ale,
And listen while I spin ye all a classic drinkin' tale,
'tis of the folks who stride about this vast and varied land
And all things they've done herein - the fine, the great, the grand.

There is a Ranger that I know - one Sallaron by name,
He is the master o' the woods: all birds and beasts he'll tame
But ever since to Tegan fair ol' Sall has said "I do",
It seems that he who tames the beasts has been himself tamed too!

Chorus
And all who come by me
Whoe'er they may be
Will find their names fore'er shrined in barrooms 'cross the land!
Oh, come and spend a coin or two
And listen up and soon you too
Will know of all the things they do: the great, the proud, the grand!


I know another sorceress - a fair and winsome elf,
'Er name's Jaelle, and as I'll tell, I've been with 'er meself,
One day she had me in at nine, then out again by ten -
Along there came another bloke, and in she went again!

All know the name of Storold; a bold and val-yant man -
Extols Lucinda's glor-yous works whichever way 'e can.
One day I listened to 'im speak - pious, wise, and deep...
Alas, I can't recall a word - 'e left me fast asleep!

Chorus

On Miss Daniella Stormhaven, I'll sing ye all a verse -
She's quite a prim and proper miss - I've never 'eard 'er curse.
In fact, I've 'eard, she's done it once, when falling off a rope...
Then cast Atonement twenty times, and scrubbed 'er mouth with soap!

Miss Creekskipper's a lovely lass, though quiet as a mouse.
She makes quite sure the Rofi's keep a clean and tidy 'ouse.
For all she might seem soft and meek, the little lass 'as guts -
I saw a crook dare give 'er cheek; she kicked 'im in the... teeth.

Chorus

//... feel free to add verses. It just seemed a little bit more of an challenge than a thinly veiled revisitation of certain other  threads.

[Alatriel]

Razeriem's a fashionable elf, who's always after misses
I've seen 'im offered slaps sometimes, but rarely offered kisses
He's seen a lot with Misty girls, Maybe he's Mist's pet
Though Pyrran tried his hand with him, Raz hasn't kissed 'im yet

[LightlyFrosted]

Acacea, a wordy lass, with quite a winsome smile;
A halfling bard of some repute, her name could reach a mile;
With all the sorts of titles that a halfling bard can get;
Started introductions in the mornin', and she still ain't finished yet!

[darkstorme]

Now Mr. Fallow's charming, true, though shorter than ye'd think,
'E's always there to lend a 'and, a smile, or a wink.
But one day when I watched 'im 'elp a noble down th' stairs
'E 'elped 'imself t' fifty true, when 'e was unawares!

[Alatriel]

There was perchance, a girl near Prantz, who called herself Petunia
She cursed so much, a sailor's touch, her words alone would ruin ya
She wanted to learn adventurin' to learn to battle and stuff
Our eyes flew wide when she said with pride, "Hit me up with some sweet buffs"

[Acacea]

Oh it were a man named Shadow, what got that forest burnt-
'is woman were a mighty mage, but honey sweet she weren't.
Well it weren't a'cause she missed 'im, that it was burnt to ash,
Rather 'cause 'e left the list and didn't take out the trash!