The Top 10 Signs Your DM Is Out To Kill You

[regnus]

Ooo!  I thought of another.  

When the GM asks the rest of the party: "You all don't mind if Acacea comes along do you?"

*snickers at his own comment*

[Lalaith Va'lash]

regnus - 10/5/2005 4:33 PM Ooo! I thought of another. When the GM asks the rest of the party: "You all don't mind if Acacea comes along do you?" *snickers at his own comment*

  hehehe...

[Kapitän Awesome]

When the DM stares intently as you roll the die, and, when he sees you rolled a natural twenty, bursts out laughing.

OR (this one actually happened to me, sad to say)

When the DM is fishing around in his collection of figures, muttering to himself, "Where did I put that damned dragon?"

[ZeroVega]

DM: "Ok guys lets have some fun."
  DM: "Before we start, I want to make sure you all know 'it's only a game.'"

[Doc-Holiday]

Your DM pm's you and asks "was that too evil?"

[Dark Jester]

DM: "Has anyone seen my Dieties and Demigods book?"

-Or-

DM: "Sure, you can try to roll it out of the way"

Player rolls a 1

DM: The Boulder, which was firmly in place, shifts slightly and then rolls back on top of you. What will your next character be?"

-Jester

[tearsofthemuse]

When your DM starts the session by asking your pally to do a reflex save after which he tells you the session will now be "Stumpy's quest"

[frebol]

**Underdark and undermoutian ((the real thing not this weee 4 levels and your att the bottem... I mean the 3 year campagin that is MENT to kill players..) **

 Now that is a nasty DM and campaign. I mean actually killing the players over a span of 3 yrs. wow... and no one noticed? ;p

 Sylance beat me to the other  We all ran very fast! heh

"Make a will save, make a will save, make a will save.." ya I remember that from a Midnight campaign...

[OneST8]

Just adding in my bit of sick humour... hehe...

The DM's avatar is named "Wielder of the Uber-Swift Holy Hammer of Player Character Smiting +5".

[NEXUS7]

There is only one
when you sit down and the DM gives you a CoC Character with 2 pages of back note
and say the expadition to the north pole was going well untill

Ya know ya dead

When the DM say everyone make any type and lvl of a charater.
It's a dead give away, yall dead.

[lonnarin]

-When he's consistantly running around holding a baby in one arm, and a flaming skull lantern in the other -> Ogzughimmal

-When there is a rule of thumb regarding mass player death specifically named after him in honor -> Pankoki

-When occasional random townsfolk are set to red/hostile and stand perfectly still, watching you and seeing if the metagaming rumors are true... with 6 hostile townguards waiting in Limbo -> Ogzughimmal

-When "The Voice" starts mocking you and you think you're hallucinating -> Ogzughimmal

-When their toddlers hop on their laps for a turn at GMing -> Leanthar & Vyris

-When your login name is "Lokyar Ravenwood" ->

-Whenever you shout "LAG LAG LAG LAG!" in party mode while they're on duty, or otherwise flood the GM's screen with other pointless OOC drivel- unanimous

[Wintersheart]

NEXUS7 - 10/11/2005  12:51 PM

There is only one
when you sit down and the DM gives you a CoC Character with 2 pages of back note
and say the expadition to the north pole was going well untill

Ya know ya dead

Cut that down to "when you sit down with a CoC character!

*grins*

[Frendh]

Here's what popped up when I was alone on a server
awhile back when fighting a bunch of Moderate baddies.

Aisha: //ModCON +90

Obviously he typoed, the double slash should have been
a double hash. (Or did he type SetCON? Blah, can't
remember, not familiar with the dm commands.)

[Varnart]

I don't known what's this about the Tarrasque... it's one of the easiest creatures to beat! I mean, at the level you're supposed to fight it(20) you can be sure that you can FLY, and it CAN'T! Any 5th level wizard can beat it, given enough time and some scrolls of WISH just to keep him from ressurecting.

[Wintersheart]

Varnart - 11/9/2005  6:25 PM

I don't known what's this about the Tarrasque... it's one of the easiest creatures to beat! I mean, at the level you're supposed to fight it(20) you can be sure that you can FLY, and it CAN'T! Any 5th level wizard can beat it, given enough time and some scrolls of WISH just to keep him from ressurecting.

Except I believe flying is an epic level spell only rarely handed out here. Also I would have the nudging feeling that the DM and content team would have upgraded the model the same way layo dragons are harder than standard ones.

And erm the scrolls of wish - heh you wish *chuckles*

[Varnart]

I was actually talking about PnP.

[miltonyorkcastle]

heh.  sure, in PnP you could kill a tarrasque by the flying-scrolls of wishes method you described, as you can kill a lot of things like that.  Of course, this is assuming your characters had spent most of their life researching the tarrasque, and assuming the DM made the knowledge of how it can be killed available to your characters in the first place.  Otherwise I don't think your characters would use wish spells until it was the last possible option.  The XP costs are too high.

As far as another sign you know your DM is out to kill you....

1) When you stumble into a dungeon at 1st lvl, and the way you fell in is somehow blocked by a forecfield, and the first thing you run into are depressed orcs, and after threatening to kill one if he won't tell you how to get out, he mumbles miserably, "There is no way out."  and proceeds to kill himself.

2) When the DM says, "Have I ever run you guys through the World's Largest Dungeon?"

[Niles09]

well, before I got here I played to weeks on another server. It was just for fun no RP, so suddenly in a cave we all knew, different demons from the CEP began to appear, heh every time we killed one another even worse appered. If I remember right it ended up with Lolth herself.... and yes we kinda died.

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

-When "The Voice" starts mocking you and you think you're hallucinating -> Ogzughimmal

Oh, I remember that. When's it continue? xD

Anyway...

"Alright, you want to learn to play DnD, eh? Well, here's a Handbook. Read it. We'll dip into the Underdark once you're done."