What to do with total world domination?

[Niles09]

Yep, what would be the first you would do if you had total world dominaiton? (besides from making world peace, stop the polution etc)

I would first of all declare that the following does not exist:

Danish essays
German essays
Any sport on 3+ (danish channel) between 6 and 8 PM
The word lead. (the atom should instead have its original latin name: plumbum)
Error messages
Gravity
Cold
Danish essays
German essays
Bills
Haircuts, clothes Tv shows that was popular in the 80's and... no... just anything that was popular in the 80's!
Count back from 10.000
Boy bands
Spruces
Steam
Adds about banks.
Any theory about the moon not being made out of cheese
Any sentence involving any of the following "danish essay" "german essay"

The punishment for questioning this list would be isolation + you will be forced to watch American pie over and over again.

[lonnarin]

I would abolish all political parties and have the voters to write in their candidates manually.  I would also make it legal to hunt Lobbyists, who would have a $50 bounty for each head.  Furthermore all sensitive information in the CIA and NSA will become open source, those who solicit others to join their religion will waive any rights not to be kicked in the groin, and make mandatory insurance illegal as it is police-enforced racketeering.  I would then deputize ALL citizens to be the police force, with equal rights to bear arms and use them as they see fit.  All current and past government agents with financial ties to the Bin Laden family will also be executed for treason, as will those who own stock in companies paid to rebuild countries that they break themselves.

[Wraithdur]

revive everything from the 80's just to destroy it all over again *smiles demonically*

[J-ser]

*nods wisely* I would do something important.
Then banish spam to the outer reaches of the galaxy. (I'm refering to the food)

[Pseudonym]

Niles09 - 10/18/2006  10:15 PM
Tv shows that was popular in the 80's

But, but... what about the A Team? What about Greatest American Hero, the original Battlestar Galactica? V - The Series, Family Ties, The Goodies, Monkey, Growing Pains, etc, etc are you crazy??!!?

*ponders* What would I do with total world domination...


(a) Hire a full-time nanny to look after the kids. Preferably one with either David Beckham or Jude Law as their previous employer.

(b) Buy a Jaguar XJ220 in cherry red and a fully decked out Hummer in black. The hummer to have those shiny rims that spin independently of the movement of the wheel.

(c) Buy a small shareholding in one of the commercial networks. Just has to be large enough for me to be able to exercise enough influence on the programming director for them to start showing 80s TV shows again. I pity the fool who cancelled them shows.

(d) Employ a professional hitman to take out;
    People that drive poorly.
    People that repeatedly send unsolicited chain e-mails promising me good luck if I send it on to nine other people.
   
(e) Buy a plasma screen TV sooooo-oooo big it becomes only the 2nd man-made object on Earth's surface visible from outer space.

(f) Buy a Louis Vuitton pooch carry case with a small trophy dog inside.

(g) Buy a really, really, really, REALLY big drill. I don't know why and would probably have very little use for it beyond what my little cordless Makita can deliver, however I still want one. (I don't want to know what Freud would have to say about this)

(h) Always have on hand a tub of Homer Hudson Chocolate Rock ice cream.

(i) Persuade Hugh Hefner to hand over his velvet smoking jackets and sell the fully stocked (with bunnies) Playboy Mansion to me.

(j) Move to my private island in the Bahamas all to myself. All to myself but for two supermodels to be hired who would do nothing but dress up like lions and sit outside the gates of my home.

(k) Have a choose-your-own-adventure book published where I am the hero. Although the reader (by definition) will get to choose their path through the novel, each adventure should end with me getting the treasure and the girl.

(l) Buy a big bling-bling watch. Not that i'll EVER admit to enjoying the show immensely, but a watch like Jessica Simpson bought for Nick on his 30th birthday (Season 1 Newlyweds)

(m) Make a donation to charity, feed the hungry, fellowship between all men, shelter the homeless, yada yada yada. Back to me.

(n) Buy a pristine white cowboy suit. All inclusive. Chaps, vest, pointy cowboy boots with spurs, badge, string tie and a 10 gallon stetson hat. I also would ride a palamino horse everywhere that I shall name Penfold.

(o) Have a room purpose built and outfitted for me exactly like the sunken sitting room of Connor MacLeod in the movie Highlander. Walls lined with ancient weaponry and artifacts. Circular leather couches. And while we're on the subject of Highlander, i'd also like voice coaching so I could do a really impressive Sean Connery accent.

(p) By a NFL franchise.

(q) Buy an orchard with some stone and citrus fruit. Ideally, a babbling creek would flow through the middle of my new orchard whereupon my friends and I might have some grand adventures.

(r) Buy some custom-made leather underpants. I don't wish to explain the why of this want, however it is very important.

World domination would not be wasted on me.

[Desicardo]

I don't think I would really want to DOMINATE the world.. that sounds like too much work.  Would much rather just play with it for a while then give it back.  Things I would do while playing:

-Change the flavor of chicken so that everything that tastes like it doesn't anymore.
-Force colleges to teach classes on common sense
-Build a massive army and invade Canada, then pull out and yell "Psych!"
-Put all polititions in a room with large sticks and the one that comes out alive wins
-Rig all the worlds elections so that "None of the Above" always wins
-Create a massive worldwide governmental bureaucracy running on the slogan "Anarchy Rules!"
-Ban all reality TV shows and put "Layonara the series" in their place.

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

J-ser - 10/18/2006  6:53 PM  *nods wisely* I would do something important. Then banish spam to the outer reaches of the galaxy. (I'm refering to the food)

 Everyone on the Hawaiian islands would starve to death. o.o  Anyhow.  Apart from the political bits I'd do (you know, execute every world leader who's screwed up his or her country for Treason against Humanity), I'd cobble together a super-society and clear off some pacific island to put 'em on. Then I'd make my own island to rule personally, and do so with an iron fist.  Yay, for dualistic natures.  The super-society would, of course, be devoted to advancing the human race. I'd let them get to that. On my own island, however, I'd buy stuff. And the first thing I would buy would be a team of sl- Ahem. Servants. (Then again, considering the level of comfort I'd keep them in... After all, happy workers work harder.) They would, naturally, take care of my every need, as well as being, to the last person, a team of highly trained assassins who could take over a small country in six hours. And also ninjas. Who happen to be pirates in their off-time.  I would, of course, have a harem. And they would, of course, all be trained in the martial arts. Why? 'Cause I can.  I would buy one of those Segway things. And enjoy it immensely. Especially when I attatched spikes to the wheels.  Spam would be the food of choice, but only on Tuesdays, when it would be served cooked in slices with a slice of tomato and melted cheese over each slice. Every other day I would have all manner of foods cooked for my breakfast and dinner, while lunch would be ordered from a fast food chain. That I started.  All gorgeous people on Death Island (because that it what I would name my lush paradise) would be required to wear very little. This would include myself, as I would hire the world's best personal trainers to whip me into shape. And plastic surgeons, in case those trainers failed me in their duties to make me lovely.  Preferred method of execution for any who failed me would be fed to a Rancor, which I would order my crack team of geneticists to create. The rancor would be named Karlock, and attended to by a horribly disfigured mutant who would be Karlock's first food if he got too hungry. Or bored. Rancors are not easily amused, you know.  I would have a lightsaber. And Force Choke. But that lightsaber'd be the important part.  My computer would be smart enough to rule the world in my stead, but I would keep it only as a gaming rig. My screen would be an IMAX theater.  I would purchase servers akin to my own computer, and donate them to Layonara. Along with more bandwidth than the entire adult entertainment industry uses in a year. I would pay all DMs and Project Team members to quit their jobs and live in luxury... Where, of course, they would have more time to work on Layo. Ahem. I mean, play. Yes, of course...

[CHAzz]

y'know if its one thing the past 25 years of games has taught me, particularly the Civ series, is that the best form of government is an immortal benevolent dictator.  You never die, so you don't have to worry about someone doing the wrong things in your name or image.  You know what's best for everybody, and the worst that happens is occasionally you need to put down a "problem" in some remote city who doesn't like the fact that you are putting all their resources into your giant interstellar multi-generational starship.

[Niles09]

And also ninjas. Who happen to be pirates in their off-time.

Man, that would be awesome... I want a team of ninjas too.. and they should be like the ninja giants in Anuroch (except for the smell).

[darkstorme]

The very first thing I'd do, upon being notified that I had absolute dominion over the Earth, is log onto the internet and print out The Evil Overlord List and tape it to the wall of my inner sanctum.  Even absolute rulers need reference material.

The second thing I'd do would be to rub my hands together, turn to my top minions and say "Alright, one planet down.  Next?"

[Wraithdur]

sorry Pseudonym, but i'm gonna destroy the 80's all over again for that
 

[Niles09]

darkstorme - 10/19/2006  7:19 AM

The very first thing I'd do, upon being notified that I had absolute dominion over the Earth, is log onto the internet and print out The Evil Overlord List and tape it to the wall of my inner sanctum.  Even absolute rulers need reference material.

The second thing I'd do would be to rub my hands together, turn to my top minions and say "Alright, one planet down.  Next?"

If the evil guys from James Bond ever saw that list, there would be no James Bond!

[Hellblazer]

I would do nothnig.

[lunchboxkilla]

I would gather every human that didn't have a gentic flaw and have an extremantis (SP?) casted down on to purge the weak.

That or have one heck of a keg party

[Wraithdur]

extrewhatnow?!?!?

P.S. Tony Blair................get out.............................now......................before i call the police

[Faldred]

Sleep.

And play Layo with all of the rest of my free time.