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Author Topic: Something...  (Read 136 times)

lunchboxkilla

Something...
« on: September 17, 2005, 12:48:00 am »
Agents my wisdom you heed my warning
your diesires giving you away.
If could change your mind I couldn't save you from the path you wander,
 in desperation dreams ensless soul can set you free
I can still hear you scream in every breath in every single motion
budding inocents the fire can set you free.
Your actions and conquests turn to dust
Hardens the fate you foolishly place trust.
since frear and broken your breathing
results in shadows till your body expires.
All creation has a promis of heaven till you travle the road to hell
I'm saying for the good of my self
But I'm still talking but your not listing!


Poor spelling I know... bare with me
 

miltonyorkcastle

RE: Something...
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2005, 12:16:00 pm »
Critique (take it as you will):  Other than the admitted spelling errors, drop one of the "but's" from the last line and I think the rest sounds great.