Unite

[Niles09]

An essay I wrote in english(class), inspired by the night elf campaign in Warcraft III and by my own char's situation.
The subecjt was that we should choose twenty words from a paper with 30, as I looked at the paper, the first words that I saw was something like: sneak, prey etc. so the story just came naturally.
There migth be some comma mistakes since Ive never learned the difference between danish and english.

[miltonyorkcastle]

Interesting situation, and nice play on prejudice.  The story needs a little more flesh; perhaps, a little more description of the hated humans- something to make us sympathize with or hate them more.  Right now, all we (the reader) senses is the elves' hatred, and not our own.

[Niles09]

well, that missing background is to make the atmosphere and its only supposed to be seen from the elves view, did you get the point by the way

[miltonyorkcastle]

It's not the humans' background, per se', but rather, anything that gives them life, that would be nice.  The beast (a wyvern?) has more life than the humans;  it appears more real.  And I'm assuming I get your point, but then, interpretation is everything and nothing.

[Niles09]

maybe, It was just an english essay Ill remember your advice, though Im still not sure what you mean, from the view of the sisters it doesnt matter how the humans look or what they say.
Actually I deleted a part saying, "there is a point, but its much funnier to find it yourself!" because my english teacher is good at english, but she has missed some things in some other stories I'v written. Actually (scratch scratch) she missed a lot in this story

[miltonyorkcastle]

Keep writing.  English is a tricky language thanks to Idiom.

Keep this in mind as you do:  "Do I write for myself, or for others?"