*a creepy bard in a garish mask, feathered cap and tuxedo sings to the masses an uplifting song in praise of their famed benefactor*
Who helped the townsfolk from their plight?
Who fed the orphans bread that night?
Arkolio! Arkolio!
Who spreads his wealth to everyone,
treats every stranger as his son?
Arkolio! Arkolio!
Whose loans fund the heroes needing gear,
with interest rates so slim that none shall ever fear?
Arkolio! Arkolio!
Who keeps foreclosers off the porch,
with nary a pitchfork or a torch?
Arkolio.... Arkoliooooooooo!!!!
*After a brief dance number he mingles with the folks gathered, urging them to petition their local governors to support this great man's business, take out loans as needed and ask their local leaders to sponsor him for mayor, seeing as he's already a noble in good standing.*