*notice* Cases of the Finest Whiskey

[Pen N Popper]

[SIZE=18]~~ Whiskey by the Case ~~[/SIZE][/I]
Oclar 1431

[SIZE=16]My client wishes to offer up full cases of the finest whiskey.  Each case contains 140 bottles of single malt whiskey.  Made entirely during a single brewing session, each bottle is guaranteed to be as smooth as the next.  A certificate of authenticity is included so that your estate's sommelier may properly organize your cellar.[/SIZE][/I]

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[SIZE=16]A case of this fine single malt whiskey is yours for[/SIZE][/I]

[SIZE=16]50,000 True[/SIZE][/I][/B]

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[SIZE=16]If this is too rich for your tastes, do us all a favor and share your crass remarks with the hostess at your own watering hole.  I'm sure she cares as much as we do.[/SIZE][/I]

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[SIZE=16]Leave your contact information here so that a representative may contact you.  Serious inquiries only, please.[/SIZE][/I]

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[SIZE=16]Other lines of beverages available, though our brewer refuses to mix anything that approximates itself with fruit juices.  (Specifically, ordering wines of any sort will see your name promptly removed from our customer list.)  Prices vary upon ingredients and the mood of our brewer.[/SIZE][/I]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

Got anything made outta Almonds

[Pen N Popper]

You might consider Black Horse Ale.

[Pen N Popper]

*an additional notice is added in a rushed hand*

It seems our brewer has a soft spot for battle gear.  He is willing to take his payment in the form of equipment that may better serve his leisurely hobby of hunting.  (It is best that I do not mention the game he hunts here where delicate sensibilities might object.)

Leave word here to arrange bartering discussions.

[lonnarin]

357.14 true per bottle?!  Bulk deals are supposed to be better than buying each one individually at its street price, not worse.  Added to the fact that that the name of the recipe is not even stated, 50,000 true is more than a little steep for an overpriced mystery package.  It could be generic Tower Malt for all we know, and we all know those cost less than 200 apiece over the counter.

So do tell us, what oh what is actually in the bottles?

-Farros

[Pen N Popper]

*a reply note*

Sir Farros ~

It is abundantly clear that your taste in cask-aged beverages is lacking if you consider Tower Malt to be anything other than the taproom swill it is.  Perhaps when you're older and more world-traveled you will appreciate that no sensible connoisseur would consider paying top True for such.

Our brand of whiskey is made with only the best malted corn.  Our Will o' Wisps are single-sourced from a swamp high in thistle (giving them a full nutty finish).  Our barrels and buckets are oak, charred to perfection to impart a deep honey color and smokey aroma.  Our hops are only the freshest.  Finally, each case uses the brewing premise's well water.  (Those with truly distinguishing palettes will certainly wish to order multiple cases, one from each of our distillation locations.)

Now, if you are truly interested in our wares then you'll join us for a tasting so that we may laugh over your most humorous suggestions and our equally jovial response.  (A tasting runs a mere 10,000 True which will be applied to your first purchase.)

Best regards