A dusty leather-bound journal - Tera

[foxfire]

Deciding what to write on the first page of a journal is so hard.  You always want to make a really good entry because every time you open the book, this is the first thing you see!  Well.. I've been away from home about a week now, and it's going better than I originally thought it would.  I do miss my parents, but the excitement of being out on my own makes everything worth it.  I have done a lot of travelling - walked many miles and happened to run across a fellow priest of Grannoch.  He was a full fledged half-giant and was taller than even my father!  He was wearing robes of white and blue and carried a holy symbol of Grannoch about his wrist.  He told me that he was a Priest of the Air element and was happy to see that the Mother of Giants had such young, pretty and motivated followers.  I could feel my face burning red at that moment!  I know that as a priestess I must at least have some leadership qualities, but I cannot help my shy personality.  I told the man that I felt a kinship to the ground below and was an Earth Priestess, which he replied to by nodding with a smile.  At that point he told me take off my shoes!  I did not know what he was thinking or if he was joking.  But then he repeated his request.  Slowly, I reached down and removed both of my shoes and stood there in front of him not knowing what to expect.  With a roaring laugh he clasped me on both shoulders with his larged hands and said, "Now, you are an Priestess of the Earth!"  I looked down at my feet and sudden realized that I now had a connection with the earth below.  I smiled at the half-giant, gave my thanks to him and packed my shoes in my pack.  It has been a day since then and my feet are a little sore, however, I feel a greater kinship with the Shaper of Stone, Grannoch.  It has been a good week!

[foxfire]

I have arrived at a town known as Hlint.  I have heard from many that this is a town of adventurers, and now that I am here I can see why.  The diversity of this place is amazing, there are people of all shapes, sizes and color here.  There are people that worship a wide variety of deities, although I have yet to meet another follower of Grannoch.  There seems to be a lot of Toran followers here, which is understandable as there is a Toran temple close by.  Not that I have anything against Toran and his worshippers, they are good people.  However, their views might be a bit too altruistic for my tastes.  One person I have met specifically was a Toran monk.  He was very well learned, however, he was a novice in combat.  But even still, as a novice, he had honed his entire body and soul into a harmonious entity.  He was able to use his hands and feet as though they were weapons - what a wonderful way to honor your deity!  I am very jealous of his ability - I do not doubt that he has spent years in focused training to reach such a goal.  According to Grannoch's holy tennets, priests of the Mother of Giants should favor the maul as a weapon of choice.  I have tried using the maul and have found in unwieldy.  I am not by any means a small person, but I am not a giant or even a half-giant for that matter.  I have decided to use a morningstar instead as my weapon..  I hope Grannoch understands.  Thinking about that Toranite monk, I wonder if it would be possible for myself to fight with my body instead of weapons.  What better way to show the strength of The Shaper of Stone, Granoch herself, then to hone my entire body and soul as strong as the very earth we walk on?  I will pray on this topic, but already the idea excites me!

[foxfire]

I have been meeting some of the local adventurers and am starting to make friends here.  I am surprised that everyone is so friendly here!  I still have vivid memories of being harassed for my height growing up...  what am I now, like 6 and a half feet tall?  I hope I am done growing...  Anyways, I have not worn shoes now for at least a week and my feet are finally becoming more comfortable with the idea.  Being in contact with the earth below at all times is quite a wonderful feeling - it is just one way I can show my thanks to Grannoch.
Today, I met a follower of Shadon..  which was interesting to say the least.  I did not know much of Shadon, but according to the cleric their tennets include partying and doing pretty much whatever you feel like.  If you can do this, then Shadon will grant you divine power.

...

What kind of god is this??  I mean, I guess slackers need a god too, but this seems a bit excessive.   Maybe he was exagerrating, but he seemed pretty serious to me.  Just seeing him and his carefree do-whatever-I-want nature made me want to be a stronger follower of Grannoch!  If I ever saw myself becoming like that, I would quit being a cleric.  Power should be granted to those who obey the tennets (REAL tennets) and are hard workers.

[foxfire]

I have been trying to see how I fare using my fists as weapons, and it has not been going good.  I nearly broke my wrist striking a goblin's leather armor today.  It is much harder than I thought it would be.  I have spoken to a monk in Hlint since then and he gave me some advice on technique.  However, the biggest advice he has given me is that it takes more than just technique..  it takes dedication.  He explained to me that it was more than just physical combat.  You have to hone your mind, body and soul so they can fight as one.  Combine this with a purpose - such as dedication to Grannoch, and then nothing is impossible for you.  Grannoch has given me a life worth living, and in return I will give I dedicate my life and body to her.

[foxfire]

I have been working on my speed and mobility in combat.  I have learned that if I stay on the balls of my feet, and work on my staying unpredictable, I can get a few unarmed strikes on my opponent without them having a chance to take a swipe at me with their weapon.  I have been working on my punching technique, and it has been quite a painful process.  My knuckles are bloody and torn, so I have decided to keep them wrapped up with some long linen strips and light leather gloves.  I can very easily heal my wounds, however, I think that would ruin the point of the training.  I must allow my body to strengthen on its own.  In the meantime, I will pray to the Mother of Giants and ask for her guidance in my training.

[foxfire]

Yesterday, some unexpected events occured...  A group of four of us head out exploring in the Gray Peaks to see if I could find a Grannoch temple near Lar.  But we did not get quite that far.  On the way we were ambushed by goblins!  Of course this is not new news by any means, but these goblins were different!  These were stronger, well trained goblins than the red light clan and they were not fooling around.  They nearly killed some of our party members, but with Grannoch's favor we made it out okay.  It had looked as though a new clan was on the move.  When exploring the area, we found another group of goblins and a shaman that had burnt a rune on large rune on the ground.  Even after defeating the goblins, we discovered that the rune was actually a gate to gods knows where.  The rune constantly summoned stronger and stronger undead!  We had to do something.  I screamed out a prayer to Grannoch with as much conviction as I could and asked her to bless the cursed earth! I then threw down a vial of holy water and watched it sizzle on the evil rune.  It seemed to do the trick!  The rune faded from sight and the attacks were no more.  As it turns out, during the attacks Garent back in town was missing..  at first we thought he was kidnapped, but he returned shortly after the attacks occured...  Was he involved?  Was it coincidence?  Strange..  I have a feeling we will find out.  One thing I am happy over though is that I have Grannoch's favor.  I know for sure now that I am going in the right direction for my training.

[foxfire]

*sits up on a secluded hill in the Gray Peaks gazing wistfully at the darkened sky*
  I have been thinking, perhaps I have been trying too hard. I like to think that I am hard working, and dedicated to Grannoch. But I wonder if my focus is so deep that I am missing the big picture. Maybe I have been seeing the rocks in front of me, when I should be stepping back and looking at the entire mountain.
  My weaponless training has not been going so well. I have improved my skill in combat, but I feel a disconnect between my soul and body. I feel like I am fighting more like a boxer and not a cleric of Grannoch. Perhaps by focusing more on my training as a whole, rather than just my fighting.. I will learn how to turn my divine magics inward to strengthen my body. I must be strong in faith, will and body. My mind and body are a gift from the Mother of Giants and I must learn how to develop these gifts. I will keep the ears of my soul open, and do more listening than talking. Perhaps, I am missing something in my training that is vital to my progress.
  But for now, I will enjoy the view.

[foxfire]

Lately I have been..  hearing things.  I do not quite know how to describe it..  It is almost like a soft rumble in my head.  The sound is very faint and it generally has a simple rhythm to it.  It concerned me at first because it seemed like no one else around me could hear it, but now I am more curious than anything.  I have noticed that the rumble is most noticable after I pray to Grannoch at dawn or at dusk.  I have heard from other clerics that they have communed with their deity, could it be possible that this is the voice of Grannoch?

I continue to train unarmed, however, I still feel like I am just going through the routines of combat.  My fists are much tougher now than when I first started and they rarely bleed or blister anymore.  However, I am still trying to find that connection between my body and soul.  I have stopped pushing myself from trying too hard.  I will have faith and patience and when I grow sufficiently in spirit, I am certain my body will follow.

[foxfire]

A monk friend of mine asked me the other day if I had considered trying meditation.  I was not sure of how to do it, or even exactly what it was!  He told me that it was a state that is experienced when the mind dissolves and is free of all thoughts.  In addition, he said it can also be used as a mental "opening up" to the divine, invoking the guidance of a higher power.  If this gives me a way to reach a deeper connection with Grannoch, I am willing to try it.  Unfortunately, the monk did not give me much advise on how to do it.  He told me to seek a quiet place where I am comfortable, sit, and clear my mind of unneccessary thoughts.  This does not really give me much to go on, but I guess I need to just experience it for myself.  Maybe it will help explain this rumbling rhythmic sound that keeps coming and going in my head.

[foxfire]

So I tried the whole meditation thing.  I found a quiet area in the Gray Peaks to sit, as I feel a great deal of peace and affinity to the earth there.  As I close my eyes and begin to focus on clearing my thoughts, that rumbling sound that I have been hearing intrudes and distracts my concentration! At first it was just annoying, but now it is starting to aggravate me to no end.  Am I going crazy?  I have been trying to avoid the sound like the plague... no one else can hear it!  Even Falon asked the animals if they could hear anything, but of course they do not.  How am I supposed to meditate if I cannot focus?  I am starting to get very frustrated with my training...  I have been practicing with unarmed combat, even adding some practice exercises to my dawn and dusk prayers.  However, I still feel a disconnect between my body and soul that has been making it difficult to progress.

[foxfire]

Leave it to a Shadonite priest to say the unexpected.  I was getting frustrated from my attempts at meditation so I had decided to head back to Hlint and see if there were any experienced monks about.  My hope was to ask them for advice - I had to have been doing something wrong!  Well there were no monks about..  (of course) but I did run across the Shadonite Priest whom I had met before.  I needed someone to talk to about it, and he was sober so...  Well anyhow, after I told him my problems with the meditation, he said, matter-of-factly, "Why not just focus on the rumbling sound instead of ignoring it?"  I was stumped for a bit, I cannot believe I had not thought of doing that before!  I thanked the cleric, and went off to try the meditation again.  This time when I settled down, I focused intently on the rumbling rhythm in my head that I knew would come.  When I began to concentrate on the sound, at first it did nothing.  I was able to keep my focus as I now had a target goal, rather than simply focusing on the unknown like I had before.  As I became more focused, the rumbling sound began to change!  The rhythm gained a life of it's own, speeding up and becoming more complex.  I could not get enough of it, it was like music to my soul..  I did not want to stop!  The sound drifted in, out and around my consciousness, plunging deep into the depths of my spirit with a life of its own.  My eyes snapped open, and I was back in the Gray peaks.  The first thing I noticed was how exhausted I was - the meditation had taken a lot out of me.  Saying a word of thanks to Grannoch for the revelation, and even a small prayer to Shadon for the wisdom of his cleric who gave me advice..  I settled among the surrounding rocks and slept.  I could not wait until I tried the meditation again, but for now I had to rest.

[foxfire]

*rests peacefully at her favorite place atop a hill in the Gray Peaks with her journal*
  It has been nearly three weeks since I have had my first real meditation. I mean, I know I have been meditating for the past few months or so.. but there had been something missing all of those previous times. Now, I feel that I have broken down a wall... a vital wall that was seperating Grannoch and myself. It was not that I had a lack of connection with The Mother, but I feel like I did not understand how to listen to her. I think I understand now, the rumbling I hear in my head. I have been focusing intently on this rumbling, concentrating my entire psyche on trying to comprehend what it means. I have come to a few conclusions in my meditations.
  First of all, when I meditate and open my mind to focus on this mysterious rhythm, it grows stronger. The sound seems to grow louder, the rhythm more complex - it is like an earthly music thatreverberates through my soul. When this happens I feel a number of things, a great number of things actually. It has been almost confusing to sort out my feelings in this situation! With the music is a quality of joy that I have never felt, and I believe it is from having a connetion with Grannoch. In addition to my meditations, I have felt that I have also been hearing the rhythmic music when I am doing things that I believe please Her. Times when I pray, or times when I explain the balance of elements to others, or even times when I am happily traveling through a cave or in the mountains.
  One key thing I have noticed though, I keenly feel these earthly rumblings when I fight in combat unarmed. Is is almost as if the rhythm flows with my strikes, like I am in a dance that involves myself, my opponent and the earth beneath my feet. Fighting unarmed, however - this is not something that is in the tennets for priests worshipping Grannoch.. it is something I have developed on my own. This is mainly due to my lack of control over the favored weapon for clerics of Grannoch, the maul. I fought some with a few other weapons, but I felt empty in using them. However, one day I used Grannoch's blessings to turn my very skin into stone, and I thought of the idea of fighting not with weapons, but as myself as a weapon. What better way of showing the strength of Earth then by fighting with my body and soul that represents this very element? If I can turn my divine favor from the Shaper of Stone inwards and bring my body and will into harmony.. I think that this can be the greatest sacrifice and dedication to Grannoch. I do not need weapons to show the strength of Earth! All I need is Grannoch, my faith and the earth beneath my feet!