Kinai's Book of Darks

[Interia_Discordius]

She scales the tree with trained ease, coming to a rest in her usual spot in the Silkwood Forest. The spider is already there, resting by her feet. Unlike before, it is completely unaware of her presence, moreso than before. It doesn't even twitch at her arrival.

Settling down, she takes out her journal and begins to write.

No rest for the wicked, as they say. Two weeks since Shiff has slept. He's so closed to the rest of us, but I'm content with knowing he has at least Valmara to speak with. He mentioned going to Prantz after I had given him a long talk on dreams and their meanings. I wonder when he plans to do that.

For his own good, it better be soon. I know the pains lack of sleep brings all too well, and Celgar had said insanity lies on the borderline of it.

I can't say I'm too sure of the situation though. Emwonk's acting barmy, more than before even, Shiff is ... Confused as the Abyss, and Valmara doesn't seem very twigged for my presence.

Suffice to say, I'm -very- glad Hawklen is coming along with me. At least he keeps me safe. The others may not abandon me, but I can't say I wouldn't put it past them. Near death situations makes everyone react in ways they normally wouldn't.

...

Mylindra and Storold have set a date for their marriage. I've never seen a happier couple. Their faces were aglow and their steps light. Hawklen and I were invited along...Of course, they didn't spare us of some light jabs that nearly sent both of us reeling.

Marriage and kids? The latter sounds downright...Dizzying.

Mylindra said I'd make a good mother though. Kids...I'm not so sure about that yet. Fancying it is fine, but actually and literally considering, I'm not so sure about.

Although it's true children are an experience none other can give you...True love lies in a couple, but I think there is true love between parent and child also.

I think I'll wait on giving serious thought to that just yet. First the house remodel! Hawklen and I both need more time together before that sort of permanence comes along.

She studies the spider, at its spotted back and slowly moving fangs. She frowns at a memory.

Hawklen got revenge for me on Thomas. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, seeing him be imploded, but at the same time, some odd and cold sense of rightness came with it. That "it was meant to be" feeling...

That drow scared me though...Something about his touch already tasting his blood? I forget, but I know it had to do with some guy and Hawk's blood. I shuddered.

I just want to make sure we're both safe...

She closes her notebook and sighs softly, dropping back onto the forest floor. Crouching down like an animal, she stalks away into the shadows, moving like the wolf-like creature she resembles.

[Interia_Discordius]

The darkened skies are a blessing compared to what the alternative could have been, yet with the black clouds constantly blocking the sun, I fear hope has been drained from many of us also.

Sal once had a drinking problem, and now I see Silver suffering from the same. I tried to talk some sense into him, I really tried..I just can't stand by and watch someone kill themselves and not do a thing. It reminds me too much of myself, really...

He walked away though. My words had to have had some effect on him, or else he was just not wanting to speak anymore...I cross my fingers for the former, but I have a feeling it's the latter.

Abiorn told us the planes were acting crazy...Something about them fading away or something. I felt faint when I heard the news, as if something inside me died.

I knew it was the last string of hope that I had for Dur'Thak...He wouldn't get any better, I thought. He'd grow worse and worse and I'd lose him.

But someone has to tell him the news...

It's a bittersweet year. My friends all seem down and dreary...If it wasn't for Hawklen, I would be too.

Yet even in this bittersweet year, Hawk and I decided we would be engaged from then and on. I'm nervous, but in a good way! I think it'll be in High Lake out in Xantril, but I'm not entirely sure yet.

Sort of a dangerous spot to get to, and as big of a fan as I am on the idea of having half-terrified people at the wedding just for Hawklen's and my own amusement...I don't want them to be dead! It's supposed to be a time for celebration not stress.

Speaking of stress, I've been under some trying to keep track of all my students. I see why most shadowdancers keep quiet about their profession...You're plain swamped with requests for lessons if you don't.

But I'm willing to help people follow their dreams...

So far, Trajan, Lino, and Cideous have expressed their desire to learn. Lino hasn't gotten any lessons from me yet, and Trajan's the farthest in them...I have a feeling Cideous will be the quickest though. There's something very ... Very focused about him that I feel will aid him greatly.

Someone really needs to open some schools of some sort. Shadowdancing school and an Elvish teaching school. I'm trying to learn the Elven language, but it's a pain in the neck...I get headaches everytime I really concentrate on the words.

Hawklen's being patient though, and I don't have a huge problem with accents like I thought I would. The vocabulary is more of the concern.

I'll just have to keep a list of what I learned so far.

For now though, I'll continue teaching them and learning Elven, and begin my hunt for an emerald for Hawklen's ring or...Whatever he decides to use it for.

She closes her own journal, taking her spot beside Hawk in bed to sleep away the latest exhaustions.

[Interia_Discordius]

There are many paths to the great door of Destiny, and every adventurer or person with even the slightest hint of ambition walks these roads. Black, white, and every shade of grey inbetween, our views and our judgments carry us along. Our feet are merely the extension of our drive, stepping forward through muck and mess.

"I don't lose my breath easily."

Yet this ambition, misplaced, can be our falling. Good intentions can lay waste, and even happiness is sour with tears of our errors. Salty yet sweet. Like the word I used in my previous page, bittersweet.

Te'thalus is dead, the drow mage is dead, and all there left is a man named Tim. I don't trust him. I don't trust him at all. The keys are open now for his taking, and although we have the book, he claimed he had some documents that could "make the artifact work with little danger."

I think I'll have to do a little sneaking around...

I'm just tired. I'm so sick of being in every mission where it's like the entire world will collapse if I fail. I'm tired of basing every decision off great thought and knowing this could ruin the land as I know it if it's a terrible mistake.

Compulsion is stupid, yet there's something so simplistic about it that I miss.

The Roffies are a brainless, idiotic bunch as usual. Kuhlat was right there for the taking, tied up and defenseless, yet they fetched the guards as usual of their crazy codes. There goes the sodding book you were searching for, berks, as you lost the best lead you could have had.

But I was blessed by stupid complusion too, wasn't I? I did it so we still -had- a lead.

I let him go. He may have broken the law, but the greater good could be reached if I would be able to find him someday to learn about everything he could tell...If not, at least I had saved him from the penalty of death. I sliced open his bonds and gave him a scion of ausir so he could vanish and get away.

Looking at him, I saw something of myself in those eyes. His reasons for violence was of paranoia...He reminded me more of Dur'Thak.

Dur'Thak...I've lost him. I knew the second Abiorn told me about the planes that he was gone, but after I saw his reaction, after I heard his words, I couldn't even cry.

I didn't want to cry. I felt guilty though...A disgusting mixture of relief and horror. I just wanted to forget that one second. To forget him and just leave.

Then I slapped myself for thinking that. Stupid Kinai, stupid, stupid, stupid. Don't forget...Remember him for who he was, not what he'll be...

He can still be saved. Even if I'm to be wedded to Hawklen, a friend is a friend. I do this now out of the fact Dur and I are close friends. My love is for Hawklen.

That doesn't erase the fact it still hurts though. I think Hawk sees the pain sometimes, but I would never tell. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing the reflection of his own in his eyes.

I was torn, but I'm healing. That's why I'm not going to say anything. I'll be able to lead a troublesome yet entertaining life with Hawk and give the world a headache. I want this, I truly do. He and I make a great team.

He'll be a great husband, that I'm sure of. People say two years is too short for engagement, but we've known each other for longer. It's fine, really.

I know him in a way no one else really does...That itself is reason enough for not worrying about the time...And he knows me.

There's not many people who I can say that about. My inner workings are as chaotic as the world I walk in.

But for now, as I wait for the next chapters of my life to come along, I help the three who had come to me for learning the ways of shadows, and somewhere in me, I feel my own darkness stirring.

I want something greater than this mere existence...

And I take the steps of ambition to the door of future.

[Interia_Discordius]

Iracce - Hello
E - I
Ceela - Love
Filfa - Baby
Sa - My
Irean Ilma Aey - How are you?
Illw - And
Ils - Am
E ils tymavilillan - I am pregnant.

Well, that sums up my life the past few days. After Tadhg confirmed with some magey spell that I had a parasite in my stomach, I've been... Strained. I felt sick before, but it's only worse with the knowledge it's no minor illness.

Eating a lot too...

Too tired to write right. I'm not going to slow down though. Save the world, do something great, and then eat a ton and sleep.

This pushed the wedding to sometime before nine months though. I'd like it before I get fat. Maybe I can ask Rhynn to be the lady friend for it or something. Hawk's asked Krys to be his best man...

...

For now, I just wanted to finally take some time to write down the Elven Hawklen's been teaching me for some time. I'll have to take some more time to write more later...

She rubs her aching head and places her hands over her still small stomach, knowing a life was growing inside. A brief smile touches her lips, despite the fact she had no idea such a thing would happen...

Shrugging, she tucks the journal away, leaning back against Hawk.

[Interia_Discordius]

How to Keep Safe

- Avoid dying - Duh
- Avoid not eating, drinking, or sleeping for long periods of time - Ouch
- Avoid drinking ale, eating raw meat, or sleeping on spikes when eating, drinking, and sleeping
- Avoid Thomas - AT ALL COSTS -
- Avoid playing with mages
- Avoid dark elves - Sort of a given
- Avoid poisons
- Avoid poisoning others
- On that note, avoid breaking the law...Accident or not.
- Avoid doing things myself. I've got a bored fiance for a reason.
- Got bored people for a reason. Hmm... Army of Kinai slaves? Fun fun.
- Avoid.....
- Avoid giving in to the irritable moods. Not their fault!
- Avoid writing lists that you know you won't follow...Or at least follow too loosely to even call it following.
- Although it is a way to avoid being bored...

[Interia_Discordius]

Broken Rules
- Avoid doing things myself.
- Avoid giving in to the irritable moods.

Time is relative...To some, a day is a year, and to others, a year is a day. The only separation is life, perception the distortion.

Speaking of time, it's going by too fast right now. Hawklen and I wanted to do the wedding before the child, but it seems the child will come first. That's fine with me. It's better to wait longer than have to try to fit in a dress when my stomach is the size of a dragon's egg.

I still have roughly eight months. It's torment to sit patiently in Hempstead as everyone goes about their business. I had to come along on a trip to Spellgard, I was so bored, although I didn't do any fighting. No, I just stayed from the shadows and snapped at them with my bad moods.

Really though, who would scout when there's a supposed beholder on the path, and who would check for tracks for them? They don't have feet...

Not to mention someone "forgot" to bring along the payment, so we pretty much did the whole thing for free...Or we were just cut out of the cut.

I think my irritation had a right to be there.

Otherwise, I'm tired. If I'm not eating, drinking, or with Hawk, I'm usually asleep. Strange dreams in general from that...I wonder if Parasite has something to do with the dreams.

They're not pleasant either. I haven't mentioned anything, but I wonder if I should see a diviner about them.

Honestly, I think it's just my imagination getting carried away. I always did overreact...

Overall, a good beginning to the long haul. Hawklen's patient with me and we've both happily accepted the challenge we were tricked up on - the challenge of a coming child, and at least I've gotten to do planning for the wedding while he's out east or gathering cobalt.

I'm just hoping that it stays as smooth as it is now...

[Interia_Discordius]

The terrible moods are frequent, but moreso now, I'm blessed with an overall warm and happy feeling for both mine and its existence...

I have a feeling it's a girl. I know mothers always say that, they place their hands on their stomach, and they feel like they can guess their child's gender. I have a fifty percent chance on being correct, right? I think it'll be a girl.

Seras Ancalime, we decided, if a girl. I couldn't handle on an Elven name, at least, not until I can speak it... He's been teaching me still, and I'm trying to learn. Keeping up with conversations don't make my head spin as much as it used to! I even managed to pick up some words.

I was told quite firmly by my friends to slow down, though. I guess it makes sense. I did tackle an orc to the ground since the others around me couldn't even hold him. The extra weight from the baby does good after all!

Still, being careful is not something I'm good at. I'm just glad I'm lucky!

Speaking of luck, Voon's missing out on it... Seems like he found a dark elf with one of keys. Of all the people who found it, I'm honestly thankful it was Voon. I trust him to be a strong individual, and he seems to have the smarts on how to handle this.

I worry though...Fine guy sure, but he mentioned the key having powers. Is something changing?

That Tim fellow, I don't trust him, I don't trust him at all.

[Interia_Discordius]

She sits alone on that same branch in the Silkwood forest, the spiders around her hardly bothering her as she pens her thoughts. Old habits die hard, she thinks to herself, and the deep scars along her hands, wrists, and arms seem to pulse with an old, familiar pain in agreement.

Dear Dur'Thak,

I remember these days, writing to you unsent letters. It's an old familiarity I like, and although I've made my decisions, I won't stop this habit. You are one of my dearest friends, and I would like for you as much as Hawklen to understand someday in my passing how my mind had worked. I feel that you will outlive me, as you have outlived many others, so I continue on my story to you in hopes that at least someone will hold memory of me. Someone who will walk this world many decades after.

Either way, my diary remains at my old yet still frequented room, and I know the day the Mother claims me for good, you will perhaps venture in to read it. The torn parchments are all kept in there, everything together.

The many stories weave on in this hopeless journey of life. My father called it a legacy, I call it reality...

Zoraje. A torn man, a mad man, yet a man who I feel some kinship to. He has lost a love, and of losing loves, I know too much of. He spoke of a woman named Mervion, how he wanted to see her just to ask her for forgiveness...

I would have helped. Weren't we all? In some strange, adventurer-way we always go about assisting, our efforts were still being made in his favor.

Yet I suppose that wasn't enough. I am bound to him, moreso than even I am to Hawklen. When my hand had unlocked that gate and untrapped it as well, pushing open the doors into the bright light of beautiful magics, I had unconsciously rolled the dice of fate.

It stopped its roll...One and one. Snake eyes.

If he dies, I die. My soul and his are somehow bound, connected, stuck. He can lift it, it seems, yet using the words "ceela" and "dear" that made my skin crawl and Hawklen rage, I was practically forced into helping him with Mervion.

He speaks with her, and I am freed...That's all it takes.

Some panicked thought has been my drive, and despite the exhaustion from my pregnancy, I dove into the books at the Great Library in hopes to find something to fix this, to make it all better...

Absorbing Essences. A book that seemed to suck all light out of life around it. Signed Z.T...I couldn't understand anything in it. Strange language. Honestly, even looking at it gave me a headache.

But the very nature of the tome itself...

It was once funny to me that me, a shadowed, was shown a dream of light... Now, in reality, I am handed a book of darks. There seems no connection, as dreams are only that, and reality still stands, yet...

I'm unsure. All I know is Hawklen's making claims that worry me, saying about pacts with demons and doing anything. Anything. That word got me tied with Daralith, and now that I hear it, I shiver. If he is insane enough to approach a demon or a devil, he better not use that word anything...

Devils and demons. I could just see you hiss and lash your tail at this, but you know what? I'm twigged.

If he's insane enough to approach one, I sure as the Abyss am too. Maybe I'll even come along.

Addled, but caught the cove?
Maybe, but barmy as always,
Kinai

[Interia_Discordius]

The previous page appears to have been torn out.
Marked: Unsent

Dear Dur'Thak,

I shouldn't always take so much stock in what I see you do, should I? I just keep replaying in my mind when I handed one of the letters, the second most recent besides this one, to you. You didn't crinkle the whole thing, in fact, you had the top half well-kept...

Did that mean anything, or were you just tightening your fist on the letter because Hawklen mentioned making a deal with a devil?

I'm worried for Hawk... I know he doesn't like the idea of losing me, I don't like it either, but he has to realize his temper won't get him anywhere. At least Sallaron turned around and made sure I was alright, he's not a bad guy after all, but...Wouldn't have been a situation if Hawk didn't threaten him to begin with.

But I can't blame him. No, I'd be the exact same way if I was in his position.

If some lady came up and started calling my Hawk "Ceela..." No, I don't want to entertain that idea.

Zoraje has been watching me. I hate mages for that reason. Scrying is by far the most humiliating spell, and I seem to be getting a handful of it. Suffice to say, it's tiring for the soul.

Tiring's right...I'm being insane as always, going down to find the ol' Longstrider with Ket and you and the others. I still can't believe I lived...I just skirted across the wall and ran for the exit.

Quite a sweet little deal from the gods. I suppose maybe I should stop complaining in general. I can say I fought a dragon and lived...Can't say I killed it, though.

I have a feeling you lived too, Dur. You're a smart cutter...You've known survival since before I was born.

I'm learning fast. Humans don't live long, but we're smart little roaches.

If this dragon thing wasn't just a phase, maybe I'll be able to best Zoraje and the others after all. Maybe I'll be able to walk away from this entire soul business without a scratch on myself or my unborn child.

It's a lovely daydream. I should make it come to real.
Kinai

[Interia_Discordius]

Too lazy to write a real entry, so here goes for time's sake.

- I don't think he's insane...I think he's just hurt. Poor man. I don't want to be forced to help him, but the dice have already been thrown. I have to work with what I can now here.

- Leringard Arms open soon. I probably won't stay long. I'm too tired.

- A half month left to go...

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

I've had my child for some time now, although the time's been rather short. I had her alone in the peaks of Firesteep, and although that's the most barmy idea I'm sure I've ever taken part of, I think Seras will enjoy telling the story later on. Who can really say they were born under the eyes of Pyrtechon, right?

She's a quiet one, unlike her parents. Her eyes are beautiful...I wonder how many more people are going to run up to me to congratulate Hawklen and I. It's getting a bit, well, tiring. So many people are offering to take care of her. I wonder when he and I will ever have time with Seras!

I want her to have big dreams and an even brighter future though, so I do want her to be in touch with all of the adventurers, to hear stories and learn tricks.

I donated to the Shadon temple, like probably around twenty grand worth of items. I wanted to thank him for pulling the prank of my own kid on me, not to mention I do want to have SOME effect on my own temple. Can't help but wonder if it'll change anything... I hope it would.

Oh well.

Mylindra and Storold got married as of late. A nice wedding. Good food...

My mind's mostly on this new creature that's been roaming around Mistone. Mistone, Mistone, the continent that's been holding less and less for you. They say it's from the Abyss, a creature as black as night and as fierce as shadow. Pyyran explained how it almost shredded him apart when he fought it.

I'm twigged. Anything that has to do with the darkness and the other planes gets me twigged.

I'm trying to slow down though, I'm sure you understand. I can't be an idiot anymore. I have to realize a child is depending on me, and I have to be careful.

I'm trying, I am.

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

She's exhausting, but the few moments where she hits a milestone of another month gone by makes up for everything and all the lack of sleep. Her toothless grins, those beautiful eyes looking at Hawklen and I. It's all worth it!

Such a small child, though...I wonder why that's happened. Does Elven blood really make babies so darn tiny? Will have to ask Hawk...

Shiff and Valmara will look after her the next time we all decide to do something crazy. I think the Soul Mother herself has tamed Hawklen a bit, though. He's been slowing down.

I don't think that will last for very long, though...

Keeping my fingers crossed that he'll at least stay careful. I love that insane man, love him forever. I don't want to think about...

It'll be fine. I think he's worrying more about me with the whole soul bind to Zoraje.

Hanging in there,
Chit

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

I've made a new vow as of late. Seeing as most of my time is spent at home, I thought I would finally catch up on my own reading, to learn some lore that I always neglected as a kid.

As I read though, some realization came to me...

I could make a difference, too.

Now, don't get me wrong, you know I knew that, but my own drive was a bit beaten after all of the dead ends I hit. Yet the barmy chit has yet another lead.

What do you think of deities and gods, Dur'Thak? Do you believe in them, or are they merely a force you don't care a thing about?

I believe in Shadon. He is my faith. Fun, parties, adventuring, it's pretty much what I'm all about. Seras brought out the serious side of me, not to mention the hundreds of times I've neared death, but all in all, the optimistic me is who I am!

Soooo, I've been helping the temple lately. A lot. Donations, follower following, brewing... I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to have some influence on the church that is dedicated to the god I worship.

I'll keep working on helping a bit more, see if anything happens, and who knows, maybe Kinai can be the first non-priest big influence thing to Shadon, or to any deity even, that there is!

Always making silly plans,
Chit

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

Is it too much to ask where you've been for a good fourth or five months? The way we ended our last conversation is usually no different on the strangeness than usually, yet the absence has got me a bit worried...

I hope your tail's alright. You were acting so... Addled back at your house. What are you planning, and what did you do to that celestial wolf? I passed it on the way out...Pretty dead, if you ask me.

I know you hate Celestia, but is the violence really necessary? I don't like seeing the Abyss so strong in you...Even if it's what you truly are. You can't let yourself be lost in it. You're so much better than a murderous fiend people think tieflings really are.

You're worrying me. You always do. Both you and Hawklen. It's how it usually is, but I don't like this...You're always so secretive, and if I hadn't happened upon you that one time, you would have been...

I can't bear that. I'd rather not even think about it right now.

Just do something, show up sometime, hiss and lash that tail just so I know you're still alive and still you.

I'll raid the Abyss itself if it's devoured you.

Signed,
Chit

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

I went to Firesteep for the first time since the childbirth to mine with a few others and Hawklen. Needless to say, the mountains were dangerous as usual, flaming hot, the playground of Pyrtechon...

There's no explanation really over why I get so excited there. The adrenaline rush, the danger, the boiling lava somewhere in the distance. I've seen the avatar himself, for Shadon's sake! What came of it was horrible, but everything inbetween...

I would go again if I could. I'd keep exploring again and again.

Speaking of Shadon, the project is going well. I've made a few little trips with some of them to work on the donations. I just want to get above Prunilla for now, then I'll be a happy chit. Besides, it's the least I can do for the temple folk at the Scamp's who look after Seras whenever I get restless.

I might see what Hawklen and the others I know of would feel for me to make a whole tavern dedicated directly to the Trickster. Give those temple people at the Scamp's Mug a real home...

At that other tavern, the Wild Surge, I read a poster about Daralith recently being chased after by Toranites 'cause of his necromancy. I wanted to pipe up over the way he gets people working for him, but I changed my mind...They already have evidence, and I'd rather not have him after my head. All I need to do is get those bags of sand for him, and all is well!

...I think. I seem to always get into more trouble with him.

Hawklen's doing fine as far as I know, which I'm sure what I say is probably true. He's found a new way to summon things, and although I really don't like that ceremonial dagger, I won't stop him. He enjoys it, and I want him to be happy. Besides, that thing keeps him alive.

He's still teaching me Elven. I'm learning alright. I have a good ear, so I can hear the entire conversation clearly...It's just putting what I heard to my knowledge that's still difficult. It's such a smooth language. I really need to start writing any offhand stories I get around to writing in it. It just feels right.

I've been writing a lot otherwise, both in Common and what I know of Elven. It's a story about two who were never meant to be and their lives. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'd change things with Hawk and I, I just have a romantic mind...

Coupled with my love for penning tragedies, I guess it all works out well to that particular story.

Dur'Thak, you're still gone...

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Dur'Thak,

What is good, and what is not good? Daralith talked about the Toranite church as a center of crime, sacrificing even family for the perverted sense of justice. He spoke of the Roffies like they're fools too...

I don't know. I was never one too bent on chaos or law, but I don't like the idea of the general Layonara's view of good to be evil. Is it true?

The things he spoke of them doing...Killing innocents because of their acts and yet still waking up the next day and looking in the mirror and using the words that they're doing the right thing. No...

I don't want to believe him, but he's telling the truth. This wasn't just on his wanted poster, this was face to face with him. I've never really quite found him to be a liar...Just manipulative.

He said he would kill those who came after him to make an example... I tried to argue, I really did. I said why kill, it's wrong, and he argued back that if a mob came to torture and murder me, if I would stand for it.

I wouldn't. I couldn't answer as a yes. I would fight back just like him.

Kinai, you're a slave to him. You do all of his dirty work, and you can't think of a way to fight back...

Yet if good actions bring pain, how can it be called "good"? I don't know what to fight for and against anymore.

Does that mean I'll just let him lead me as he is now? No one will ever know...

It's a secret between me and him, and that's how it'll always be. No one will ever know how weak I truly am to that darkie...

Kinai

[Interia_Discordius]

Kinai's book of darks, usually placed under her bed or pillow, is missing. In its place is a half-eaten cookie.

[Interia_Discordius]

Wiping off some spare crumbs from another cookie, Kinai opens up her black book of darks and begins writing with a raven-feathered quill. She mumbles something about tricks, glancing to her daughter who had previously been turned invisible the night before, and the night before that her crib had been casted on with the same to make her appear floating. Tricks, she scoffs. Loved to make them, but hated having them done on her. It wasn't too big of a deal until the trickster, whoever it was, stole her diary and stuck it with magic to the next door neighbor's house. Good thing she found it first, she had said.

Her gaze softens, her eyes squeezing shut as she holds the quill tightly. She looks visibly troubled as she pens her thoughts down.

Dear Dur'Thak,

What is good, and what is evil? Is good the opposite of evil, or is good just another evil with a pretty name?

Daralith had said good and evil were titles made by those in power, and for some reason, I couldn't find a way to argue. It's true, isn't it? Some would call Broegar evil, but his people think he's good, just strict. It's just a view, he's right, yet despite that knowledge, my morals haunt me. Despite my arguments with my true father in my childhood, what he had taught is still with me...And deviating from that is painful.

I did something terrible, but it was self-preversation. Doing a good action that, in the end, killed me would get me nowhere...Would get that lady nowhere, too. We'd all die after a good amount of torturing, and Daralith would have gotten out alive.

It was just a poster in the tavern...It was just some curious adventurers wanting that grand, five-digit reward to themselves. Missing people, the poster said, and for some reason I still can't figure out, Daralith was interested. I just wanted to make sure the ones the poster spoke of were alright.

So he told me to keep the adventurers out of the way or risk being hurt by them, handing me a vial of poison to emphasize the whole point. I don't feel bad for dabbing a little on the adventurer's lips...It wasn't going to kill them, just make them sick. I messed with the lock enough to keep them from getting out easily too. There, Daralith, happy now? Problem solved...

Once we got to the entrance to the caves, he made me catch some moths to be certain no noxious gases would take us unaware. Despite our constant disagreements and the fact he uses me more than I use my own shoes, he's smart... I think that's why I let myself be used. Someday though...

...

The caverns were filled to the top with insects. Disgusting, really. I played protect the dark elf through most of it. He really has me by a string...I wonder if he can make me dance too. Not that he would. Just a saying.

Between his badgerings of why I was doing what I was doing, things went smoothly enough. My mind was hurting though with his arguments...Good, evil, reward, life, risk...I would have screamed if I was strong enough to. I would have told him to shut up, but...But I couldn't.

Eventually, we heard voices. Drow...

She pauses, leaving a slight ink stain at the end of the word.

The drow held a woman, obviously one of the missing, and her baby hostage. She was tied to a pillar, beaten and bloody. I wanted to save her, I wanted to play hero and dive in and cut her loose and ... And do everything. I'm a mother, for Shadon's sake, I couldn't bear the idea of letting this mother and her own child die.

But dark elves aren't fools...I was enslaved by one, after all. I went back and told Daralith what I had seen, and he eventually talked me out of saving them. He said we would leave a trail so the other adventurers would be able to find them.

I relented, one of the worst mistakes I'll openly say I have ever made, and we began walking back...

Then the screams began. They were killed right where we could hear them, and the silence left behind was like a silent scream that I was guilty, it was my fault. I could have saved them! I could have cut them loose and kept the baby quiet. I could have done something.

And Daralith was saying something about vengeance while I stumbled back to the entrance, biting down so hard on my lip I could taste blood to keep back tears. Vengeance, a reason for vengeance...

It is an art form, and good and evil are nothing in the grand scheme of survival.

I'm learning from him, and I'm not sure if I quite like what I'm becoming.

But it's either that or perish...One choice, one choice.

Nothing is fair.

[Interia_Discordius]

Marriage. One word never meant so much to me before. I thought I knew love, understanding, devotion...I thought I had experienced it all before I met Hawklen. All of the emotions felt so simple to me so long ago, yet with the years gone by and actions being done, the word love holds the weight of a thousand ...

A thousand anythings, truly.

Seras is a beautiful baby, her eyes are mesmerizing and her mind sharp. She's already able to walk if one of us helps her, and she's already picked what she likes and hates...Trying to feed her, for example? Not going to happen. The first time she decided she hated grapes involved her dropping them to the ground and mashing them up in her fingers. She laughed when I sighed. It seems she prefers to dance to that gnomish contraption of a jukebox or play with anything one of us hands her than to stick things in her mouth.

I guess I can't complain. I don't have to watch her like a bird of prey or something, but don't get me wrong, I do pay attention. I keep an eye on her when she crawls as fast as lightning and keep the chests locked, the sharp things put away.

At times though, I feel a touch guilty. Watching her grow up so fast and her own parents are getting married now instead of before. We could have been smarter about things, sure, but it was how they worked out...I don't dwell on it. We always were the ones to step out of the ordinary.

I just hope people don't get the wrong idea. I'm marrying Hawklen because I love him with my heart and soul, not because we had a child.

Love...That word again. I look around the world and wonder how many people are familiar with it, the depth of it. It's a blessing to have someone so understanding of your own thoughts, to look over into their eyes in a time of trouble and find your own strength within their gaze.

It is more than magic...The Weave cannot explain this, can never harness this.

And I love him, and he me. The flighty personality we both held is gone, replaced by a powerful loyalty to one another. I have him both in waking and sleep, and we accept each other and ignore our flaws.

I need nothing more. Seras and Hawklen are my happiness, and everything else is simply else. The laughter, the tears, the fondness I feel, that is what I live for outside of the wild hunts and fierce battles we both engage in together.

In the end, I have him and our daughter...Whatever good or bad fortune may come, I will be able to stand as long as I have them to protect and be protected by.

I thought I knew love before, but now, I'm certain I learned.

I'm not going anywhere.

[Interia_Discordius]

Besides regular praying to the Trickster and spending time with my Hawklen and Seras, I've taken up a new trade.

Bounty hunting.

It's thrilling, really, since I've seen those posters hung up in Hempstead. Lying in wait in the shadows, waiting for a figure to pass by unaware...

I seem to catch information more than bringing them to justice though. The key business I thought I left a long time ago is returning, and with it, more danger. The artifact is now in the hands of the man I had deceived...The man who I turned aside a life of thievery I could have had and reported to the Angels guild about his true intentions.

My morals aren't as strong as they once were as they always seemed to get me more in trouble than anything, yet I know I'd rather have good neighbors than bad. I'll see this one to the end, and I'll make sure that Grendo fellow doesn't get far.

He has a son though...I know how much a parent loves their child.

Makes me wonder if a deal can be made, although I know I won't like doing what I have to do.

Considerations...But first, the wedding. I can't focus on this stuff yet.