Atonement

[Interia_Discordius]

Dear Layonara,

I never thought I would be making this post, but as the years went by, I realize now that this is one of those things that deserves done. The idea was toyed with for some time, considered, and rejected, but now my conscience seems bent on keeping me awake until it's finally done.

Layonara, I once joined this server as a bright-eyed, uncertain girl of age 14 (or was it 13? 15?). My roleplaying style was awkward and shallow, and I myself was a person of arrogance. The legacy I created here need not be rewritten or restated, but I made a severe mistake that still reflects badly on me even today, and made a fool of me during my stay here.

I came here to apologize for it.

Those years ago, I met up with a man who went by the username Hawklen and took his side to the point that, on the day of his banning, I would join on a decision to make a mockery of Layonara. We made a website dedicating to the overall "fail" of this server, and I even went as far as to help him play here under a false identity to find more ammo towards ruining this server's public face. I honestly can't remember what that fake username was... I'll dig it up for you all if you really would care to know.

- I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I knew, I thought I was doing something right and that I was justified, but on hindsight, all I managed to do was make a complete fool of myself and wreck someone else's definition of fun. This was a game, I forgot that then, and I'm sorry for making this place, for some time, a personal act of revenge.

Dorganath, I don't know if you remember me, but I can still recall the kindness you showed me clearly. That goes for the rest of this server... Sallaron's player, Steel's player, Stephen_Zuckerman, Mike, Tiffany... It's been a while, but I'd like to think my memory's not completely failed me. I came here as a girl struggling with illness, depression, and trauma... and I left here bitter and hurt, lead on by a guy I probably should never had spoken to. What I forgot to remember is that I had fun on this server... I was taught maturity that never registered until years later, and I met people I still remember today.

That means something to me. Heavens above, I know I sound like a bloody freak saying that, but it means something to me.

Regardless, what's needed said was written... so I'll close this by saying that I would like to return, if you all would have me. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I would also like to believe I've learned a lot of lessons. A part of me wanted to write of who I am now and where I've gone, but it felt inappropriate to do so, at least here. This was an apology.

I'm sorry for doing you wrong, those who remember me. If you would have me back, perhaps I can do something to redeem myself for what I've done. If not, then I hope this post at least can be acknowledged so that I may leave with a cleaner state of mind.

Sincerely,
Christine

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

A few around here still remember and love you, Christine. I'm no official word on "coming back" or not, but whatever happens, I'm glad to see you've taken everything as something to grow from. Layonara showed me not a few flaws of my own, and I wouldn't give my time here back for the world.

Find me on AIM or Yahoo if you ever want to talk.

*Tips his hat.*

[jrizz]

It is very good to hear from you. I hope things work out and you can return.
 
 Cheers

[Hellblazer]

Hey there christine.

I'm happy to see you take this very courageous act. Not many people would show that kind of strength and maturity into admitting publicly about making a mistake. I for one will welcome you back with open arms. And I hope the powers that be will do too.

What ever their decision be, I wish you all the best.
Manny

[Drizzlin]

I remember you and all the talks I had with you about Hawklen and the path he walked. It takes a lot to admit ones mistake and even more to apologize for them. You were young and still are. If this is the wurst of things you ever do, you are WAY ahead of where I was at at your age.

I look forward to seeing you in game again.

Geo

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

Hey Chrissy    Nice to see you around here again.  Hope everything is going well for you.  Would be cool to see you around IG again, if you decide to come play here again.  Take care!

[s0ulz]

Hey and hello, Christine. Sure, I remember you and I have to say if what you wrote is sincere then it takes a lot of humility and strength to admit your own faults and mistakes. I know there are some people still here who remember you for what you were back then, but time has passed and I for one am not against giving second chances.

Take care.

[Leanthar]

I was happy to see this post. At first when I saw your name I groaned a little because of the past and because of everything that happened with the two of you (both here and that othe site). I really do hope you have learned and grown and most certainly a post like this shows at the very least you are going in the right direction (if it is sincere--and I hope it is).
 
 Welcome back. Have fun!

[ycleption]

You wouldn't be the only person to make mistakes here, nor the only one to have left and been upset with the server.

Few, however, apologize for their actions.

I know you were going through some difficult times then (aside from that usual "being a teenager" thing), and hope things in your life have gotten better, and if you feel like you're in a better place to come RP here again, I personally would be happy to see you.

[Dorganath]

Yep, I remember you, and I remember our talks. Seconding Leanthar's sentiments, it was a good post to see.

[merlin34baseball]

One of the most well written and mature posts I have seen on this forum. Period. From L's welcome back, I assume we will see you in game soon. It's hard to look at one's self in a way that you seem to have done, and it shows not just maturity, but humility.

[lonnarin]

Glad to have you back.  Farros can never forget his favorite shadowdancer.  You did miss a bit while you were gone.  Lots of incredible new areas added and we started a goblin tribe of wargriders, about 6 of us now!

Hoping you're health is a bit better this time around.  See you in game as soon as I manage to pull myself away from Fallout 3.

[Interia_Discordius]

Thank you.

[Makashi]

Good to see you back.

[Chazzler]

Welcome back Chrissy, good post you made back up there

[silverblades]

I remember Hawk like it was yesterday,, has it really been that long..man time flies..

anyways, its good to see you've matured in more ways than age. . .
welcome back.