Glad ya don't live in Layo R/L?

[Desicardo]

You would hire into a new place of employment where you would have about 10% chance of successfully doing your job.  You would train and learn and improve until you could do your job without fail, then you don't get paid anymore unless you take a harder job and start all over again.

You would drive to work or to the store armed just in case there is a Giant standing outside the entrance.

Your neighbors daughter would come to you asking you to retrieve her grandfathers ashes she lost to a monster while roaming the through the city mausoleum.  Even after you almost die trying to return them, she is out at all hours of the night roaming the graveyard.  Protective services should be called.

You could portal to another city from your closet but then have to walk home.

You are forced to carpool because it just isn't safe to drive to work alone. (ok, this one isn't too far off for some people)

You go to the park for a picnic and are attacked by 3 giant spiders and a 400 pound beetle.

Bandaids can cure the common cold or flu.  (this one would be nice)

You are beaten and hacked to within a half a breath of dieing to get enough wood to make a mahogony dining room table.  (Home Depot on Sunday does come close though)

You are forced to drive a couple hundred miles out of the way to avoid being ambushed by orc archers when going to visit relatives.

Your wife hits you with a fireball as she is trying to kill the ogre that is about to cut your head off while on a romantic walk in the woods.

You go to visit your grandmother's grave and have to kill 12 skeletons before you can leave flowers, then have to kill the same 12 skeletons again in order to get back to the cemetary gate.

You have to search 200 square miles of desert in order to fill 2 dozen sandbags.

.... How many am I missing?

[merlin34baseball]

Hee Hee

[Talan Va'lash]

The daily cycle of the sun has nothing to do with your sleeping habits (this is true for layo players as well ;P )

In fact, the only time you sleep is when you need to prepare more spells which is sometimes as often as every ten minutes.

Griffons are the leading cause of fatalities in the tri continent area.

Everyone is "stunningly beautiful"

All women have perfect butts and huge *coughs*

Despite the above there is not a single hooters franchise

You think gravedigger is your dream job since you have the impession you get to stand about in the bar all day getting loaded

You have to wonder when walking down the street who is an NPC and who is a PC.

Its easy to tell if that shady guy in the alley is going to mug you.  If he is, he'll show up red when you press tab. If he shows up blue you're safe.

Coins acctually have no weight.

You don't need to buy a raincoat because it never rains in hlint.

Eggs are worth more than a commoner makes in a month. Each.

You can't chop down a christmas tree unless you have marital training.

[KageKeeper]

Funny!

[Variable]

*laughs*

I've spent all too much time running through Thousands of miles of desert for sand.  

[Gulnyr]

Talan Va'lash - 6/20/2006  12:49 AM

You can't chop down a christmas tree unless you have marital training.

I like the idea that you have to go to school to learn how to be married before you can chop your own Christmas tree.  That's just funny.

I love typos that spell real words.

[Nibor21]

You spend a small fortune on necklaces of shield, buying oak shortbows in exchange for magic helms etc, only to find that wards, shields protective will only last up to the point you *REALLY* them and will then. irrespective of when you activated them all fail at once - This like having the airbags and seatbags on your care disapear just your brakes fall as you approach a run away oil tanker at 90mph

The average tavern drink costs more than you earn in a week

Estate agents never go bankrupt even though they haven't had houses to sell for years.

You can manage to survive life happily without fear, even if you continually to sell poorly made axes, picks and shovels to people whos idea of fun is going out and killing something. You needn't offer refunds or replacements even if the customer breaks three in his first three swings.

[Niles09]

maked me laugh!

you can go weeks without eating, then suddenly eat like an elepahnt, then again eat nothing..... and still stay complete normal!

you can sit in front of a computer 10 years in a row, without getting your strenght, health, charisma and intelligence(?) drained (ooohh that would be nice)

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

No matter how long you are down in an isolated cave filled with EVIL, you never have to stop to go to the bathroom in what used to be a demon's lair.

[Desicardo]

These also came to mind:

You hunt almost everything from deer to bear to cats and wild boar, but you can't kill a cow to make a hamburger.  

You hunt deer, which just stand there and let you shoot them, but when you get home you have to build a campfire in front of your house to cook the meat because you lack the skill to put the roast in the oven to cook it, or some of the ingredients would get you killed trying to obtain them.  (Maybe someone needs to open a grocery store in Hlint?)

[Leanthar]

"....You hunt almost everything from deer to bear to cats and wild boar, but you can't kill a cow to make a hamburger....."

The shame! Where are the BBQ hamburgers? hehe

[Rasterick]

You can keep a fish, a goblins head and a slab of bear meat  in your pack for weeks, and no one ever notices the smell.

You can chop down a 200 year old mahogany tree, and not get bothered by Greenpeace, and a few hours later, the tree has grown back again.

You can run the length of North America, and be only a little thirsty when you finish.

You can see the smell a skunk makes.

Bars, whilst banning dogs in most places, dont seem to bother if you strole in with an ox in tow.

Gardeners have the worst of it, they must spend a fortune in shovels.

[Thunder Pants]

and nobody seems to mind when random people pick crops that are quite obviously not theirs (the only favorite being all the people that used to pick corn on Parts field.....the question isn't why he kept making killer scarecrows....the question is why he was paying people to kill them)

the same books get stolen buy the wererat, who hides in the same place, several times a day

fur traders would rather pay people to do their work for them, instead of doing the work themselves, so that they can pace around and watch other people make things from furs

there is always an unlimited supply of gobblins willing to take the normally short term roll of goblin leader

[Weeblie]

"Patience is a virtue!"

Wait a few seconds before grabbing the head from the things you kill, or it might disappear!

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

Goblins are smart enough to cast spells, but not smart enough to NOT sign up for chiefdom, or, come to think about it, smart enough to run away.

This applies to everything; nothing fears death but you.

Extermination is poitnless; there's alwys more. If you ahve vermin, move.

[lonnarin]

Talan Va'lash - 6/19/2006  9:49 PM


You don't need to buy a raincoat because it never rains in hlint.

Not true!  When Acacea was walking around in her mourning dress with the umbrella, I used to spawn the custom skyboxes with dark clouds and make thunder sound fx while she was talking in town.  People would look up thinking that some demonic army was brewing, all freaking out and grouping up for protection... then I hit the weather-change wand and the raindrops came.  

And everybody sighed in relief...

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

I didn't know Lonn was a DM...

[ZeroVega]

For five seconds, he dropped off right before I did. It was right before we teamed up with the Fantastic Four, Justice League, Mighty Mouse, Spider Man, the Hulk, Chuck Norris, the Transformers, all the little Gundam people, Ash and his Poke'mon, Megaman, and George Lucas to save the world. I'll tell you what, that super hero work really takes it out of you.

[Niles09]

Extermination is poitnless; there's alwys more. If you ahve vermin, move.

"So how have your day been?" "Oh, I got hit by a few new adventures, half of them drow lasses (stunningly ofcourse). I just respawned a few hours ago" "I got killed four times today *sighs*" "Man, I feel ya, life sucks" "year, maybe the next will be better, look there come the adventures again" "You together with Randy again?" "Nah, she is a slu" *whack! whack!*

Conversation between two red light goblins

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

I just have one thing to say.

30-lb catfish. Now THERE's a catch. Better last more'n a meal, too.

I'm beginning to think that life on Layo wouldn't be so bad. No luck with the ladies? One Eagle's Splendour potion away.