// I'm involved in a production of Iolanthe which is slowly draining my sanity. This is my only explanation for this.
// To "The Nightmare Song" (attached)
Scene: Wild Surge Tavern
Enter Kell Ereptor, pale and shaken, fresh from the bindstone.Recitative - Kell Ereptor
Death, undesired, robs me of my breath!
Death, grisly death, my back and soul encumbered.
Monsters, nightmare-like, have sent me to my death,
From which I will return when I have slumbered!
Song - Kell Ereptor (*cue orchestra*)
When you're sitting in Hlint, announcèd by that bint - yes, Doria; she calls you by name,
And you're really not sure when you told it to her, but she calls you by it just the same.
But you'd likely care less 'cause you'd have to confess that the manticores there got the drop on you
And before you could fight, cast your spells or take flight, you found out that they all were on top of you.
Their spines they had thrown, despite skill that you'd shown, you just couldn't avoid their attack.
And before you could mount a defense, you could count spines of twenty and two on your back.
Now you're bleeding to death and you find that your breath doesn't come, and that's just a bit fright'ning.
But you breathe once again when the monsters are slain by a figure who toasts them with lightning!
Seems a mage came around and was drawn by the sound of your fall and your subsequent groaning
And had whelmed up the spell, found the place that you fell, led by your insufferable moaning
He decided to help, though you're barely a whelp, and killed all of the monsters that rended you
Pulled a vial from his pack, poured it over your back, and the healing elixir then mended you.
But your troubles don't end, as your rescuing friend now collapses, when struck from behind
By a Kenku rogue there, from whose beady-eyed stare, you decipher what he has in mind:
He will vanish again, move behind you, and then stab his little knife into your torso.
And you'll fall - deja vu! - like before, and then you realize this is like then but moreso -
'Cause he'll step on your head 'til he's sure that you're dead, then take all of the gold from your pockets
Gemstones and rings, he'll take all of your things, even necklaces, scarabs and lockets.
So when he goes from sight, you get ready to fight - for your life and your items aplenty
When suddenly you see a party - not two, but many more, near five-and-twenty.
A mage throws some fire, makes the kenku expire, then brings you along with their merry band,
And vouchsafes to you (and some stragglers too) that they're looking for treasure in Fairyland!
But the fairies aren't weak, soft, defenseless, or meek - they're powerful, learned and hearty,
And they summon a beast (fifty hit-dice, at least) that spells doom and decease for the party.
So you flee in the dark (it's no walk in the park) and through shadows you're once again creeping
'Til you stumble upon an evil courna
gon which for some cause or other was sleeping!
But you've wakened it now (though you're still not sure how) and it turns to you, eyes set afire,
And you're sure that the wood that surrounded you could serve quite well as a funeral pyre.
Comes a sound from behind, and you turn with your mind set awhirl from a spell's sudden flaring,
And as fighters charge past, into demonic blast, you look past with a shudder despairing...
(accelerating)For there's spiders and gnolls, orcs, goblins and trolls, and a vicious dark elf, and Pyrtechon himself, and a orc casting spells and some fiend from the Hells, and some nasty undead and wyverns overhead, and a carpet of rats and a cloud made of bats, with their eyes set on you, and the fighter run through, then a pain so intense that it gives you the sense you'd be better off buried in clover;
So you perish at last, but the Death Void has passed, and the quest has been long - ditto, ditto my song....
And thank goodness they're both of them over!
Kell collapses into a seat at the surge, orchestral cadence.// *****************************************************************************************************************
// My apologies for the poor quality of the midi - it's not mine. The Gilbert & Sullivan web archive is a great thing, but somewhat limited.
// For a better recording of the original, look
here.
