An Infernal night at the Leilon Arms

[cappyra]

*Derrick enters the Leilon Arms late after the Inn was closed.  As he walks into the Tavern he is started to see a Balor Prince...

What the?!?!?

[Acacea]

"Well, I don't really have time to write a lot but I thought enough happened in just the last night to warrant writing it down! Since it didn't poof away like I thought it would. I had sprained my ankle in a terrifying climbing accident, and Quantum instructed me to cut back on my drinking (No more than two bottles! No! More! Than! Two!), which was clearly an impossible task, so I was limping around grievously wounded at the inn party. I'm not sure if they're connected, but I certainly felt better after indulging!

"Also, Quin was there and he made me a manager of the entertainment or some such, which is a lot better than being a bartender unless someone pays up front, because I am always letting them talk me into going down on the price or feeling bad and covering them on the difference. Don't the owners understand how absolutely necessary it is to get ale to the people? Oh well!

"After Quin left (for good, and with my apple pie! Really he should be giving US presents!), I went to sleep on my couch and was rather rudely awakened by a giant demon with flaming wings and a giant sword who wanted to know if we were closed. Since, like I said, I am not very good at turning people down when it comes to drinks, he got a few on the house. And for not eating me.

"After I got him to hire on as a bouncer next time, an equally demony looking woman showed up, and our conversation went something like:

Me: (To Derrick) "Suppose that's his wife?"
Her: "MARCUS PATRICIUS RAVEREAPER THE THIRD!!!"
Me: "Yep."
Her: "THIS IS THE LAST TIME I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT GOING OUT LIKE THAT DRINKING AND LEAVING ME ALONE WITH THE FIENDSPAWNS OF OUR BABIES!!"

"But Derrick, who had showed up sometime in the middle and was rather surprised to see a great bloody demon standing in the middle of his inn, talking to me about plants (because he's writing a book on horticulture, apparently), covered for him by saying that "Marcus" had come to buy wine for her, so she ended up being all cooey instead.

"Oh! Speaking of wine, I finally remembered to ask Derrick how exactly he DID get that recipe from the Xeenite priestesses, and let me tell you (me?), I am going to tell everyone I know to ask him about it, because his face is worth it.

"Anyway, I asked Marcus-The-Flaming-Winged-Demon if he could fly with those wings. And. He can. And as a note for the future, asking him to do so indoors will probably lead to the near demolishing of a roof. Derrick was a tiny bit upset about that part. Just a little!

"So, they are going to make a family outing of it at the next party, including the naughty nanny (I GUESS that's what she was, anyway!) who seemed to be pretty interested in Derrick, especially after she heard about how he got the wine recipe- if she is, that could end up being really funny. She said they would bring the most famous bard in the Abyss or something like that, too. His reportoire included something about plagued sagas and brimming fire and such, so it might be a little obscure.

"While they did assure me that they weren't bad or anything, I am still thinking we may not have as many customers next time as usual.

"Also, Key and Derrick have made tomorrow a safer place by making sure that Turor will never be a father."

[Zhofe]

Oh! I just had the most wonderfull time there! I had a chance to play my Violin, and to sing, and to talk and dance with Jet! It was great! Everyone was so nice, and helpfull and such. I wish I could go back there more often, but with my duties at the temple, sometimes I just can't ...

Oh well, still a wonderfull time!

-Vivian Elishan

[Diamondedge]

"Whell..."

Turor hops up onto a stool, holding a mug of nice, foamy, golden brown ale, the kind that makes men's jaws drop and drool run down the side of their chin. A translator stands by to translate everything the dwarf says, in such a way that, y'know... normal, dumb, non-dwarven people can understand him.

"I was at the Leilon Arms Inn recently. Now, mind you, this was originally thought of as an unwise move based on past occurances of me eating Derrick's puppy. Anyways! I went there."

"I sang my 'I Hate Elves' song, with the new 'I Hate Stuffy Paladins, too' verses. Everybody liked it. People bought me ale."

"And THEN, Aleister falls asleep. Poor bugger, being so old must be so tiresome. Well, I guarded his chest for him. And I was doing a very admirable job of turning people away! I should have been payed for my service, I guess."

"But then he said he was awake, and people could look at his merchandise again. I said 'No they can't.' After all... Al was obviously still tired from his recent snoozing."

"Well, I stood there as a guard like none other. In some kind of strange rage, Aleister and Derrick looked about to boot me around. Well, Aleister would have made strange pawing actions at my cape and chest, but that would be 'hard fighting' by his terms. I was more afraid of Derrick's maul."

"So, I had them buy me twenty five ales. And they did. And I went away. And I drank all of them, right then and there. And Derrick, I think, knocked me out."

"Anyways, I woke up on a couch smelling like urine, so I thought it time to leave. Dumb people. In their dumb... what's that? Oh. Inn."

[cappyra]

*Derrick walks into the Tavern of the Leilon Arms the morning after the visit by the infernal Marcus and friends.   He looks up at the gaping hole in the ceiling and grimaces muttering about the how it should be “Curiosity that killed the Halfling.”  Derrick bends over and picks up a shingle.

Bah!  Mahogany.  Curses the Halfling curiosity again.

“Can you fly with those wings?’  Derrick says to himself in his best Acacea voice.

BAH!

*Derrick tosses the shingle aside and heads toward the bar for a drink when the blazing eyes of the wizard fell upon him.

The wizard Aleister’s gaze fell upon Derrick.  This particular piercing gaze was usually reserved for those whom had caused the wizard displeasure.   Derrick stopped and thought about drawing his blades…  then quickly decided against it as he had also seen the devastation this man could do by merely twitching a finger.  The two stared at each other for what seemed like ages.

The silence was broken by the door to the tavern creaking open and Sand Krows, devout follower of Lucinda walked in humming and plopped down on a couch across from Aleister.

Derrick knew something was definitely amiss when Aleister didn’t make any snide comments or fling any projectiles in the direction of the Cleric.

“Come with me,” hissed Aleister

Sand and Derrick exchanged glances and followed the mage from the tavern.  It seemed the very air around the Wizard crackled with explosive power about to be released.

All were silent as they climbed the stairs of the Inn.  Aleister walked to his door muttering about what kind of innkeeper Derrick was when locked doors could be entered so easily.   Derrick thought perhaps an item of the Wizard had come up missing?

Aleister stopped at the door and gently turned the knob.  He looked at Derrick and Sand placing a finger to his lips.   The wizard slowly opened the door. The three peered inside the wizard’s room and there, in the wizard’s bed, was a sleeping Tiefling woman.  Aleister quickly and quietly closed the door.

“I would like an explanation for this Derrick.”

“Har!  You old sly dog you.”

*Sand chuckled.

“Shhhh  don’t wake her." uttered Aleister as he motioned the two away from the door.

“What kind of Inn are you running here Derrick.  I went to bed alone.  I woke with… with a mostly naked Tiefling in my bed!”

Har!  Well yer dunna have ta thank me or nuthin…  but I dunna know nothing about it.

*Sand continued to stifle a fit of laughter.

The three stood there staring at one another.

“Of all things infernal. . .”  Aleister muttered

Derrick looked up and raised an eyebrow.  “Infernal?”  Hmmmm

The previous night’s events flooded back into Derrick’s mind.   Derrick began telling the two about the Balor Prince Marcus appearing in the tavern for a drink and how his consort stormed in and caught him.

*Aleister paled and a bead of sweat appeared on his brow.  

“You you mean sh sh she is his Wife…”

Derrick had been on many adventures with the Wizard.  Many times the two had faced certain death.  Yet Derrick had never seen the Wizard flinch…  let alone sweat.

No...  not her Derrick said… it weren’t her.  His Consort had wings, yer definitely wings.

“Then who,” muttered Aleister leaning against the wall in relief.

“Well…  yer see…  er once the two calmed down and Marcus tore through me ceiling. . . this other er winged demoness came in… she was sayin something about the fiendlings actin up er something…  well er she were quite the looker and… had fangs an wings well…  anyways we started talking about Xeenite wine an we both liked guttin people yer know…  and well Har!... er well I think she took a likin to me o sorts.  An well she did look quite ravishing with the fangs an all so…”

“Will you get on with it!” insisted Aleister.

“Er..  My thinking is that… the nanny…  yer know the naughty one… *grin   She sent one o her underlings to my room,  cept…  it were’nt my room…”

Sand no longer able to contain himself fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.  

“Har!”

Aleister’s jaw almost hit the floor as the truth of the matter sunk in. . .

“What am I to do…  I can’t go back..  I mean…”

“Bah!  I’ll jus say it was me old man, Har! nuthin  ta worry about.”

Aleister looked at Derrick and frowned.  “Derrick no one would mistake me for you… or anyone else for that matter.  Besides…  there was quite a scene when I awoke, I mean you can imagine my surprise waking up with…  oh no…  you said she was she was probably a minion of the nanny… that means there is a link to all of them and now they all know it was me and…  Aleister backed to the wall and slowly slid to the floor with his hands covering his face.

“There has to be something we can do,” offered Sand.

“Yer… use some o that majik…  yer know…  mind tricks er something.  Make her think it was me.”  

“Fool!  I already told you about the mental link between the underlings and their masters.  Now hush and let me think”

Time passed then suddenly Aleister looked up with a gleam in his eye.   OK I think I have it.  I hope this works…  

Aleister brought his hands together and uttered words of an unknown tongue.  Energy pulsed and the air seemed to become charged with electricity.  Aleister’s eyes grew wide and in an instant turned blood red.  Fangs started growing where his teeth should be and he buckled slightly as the spell took its toll.  

Derrick and Sand exchange concerned glances for a moment.

Aleister was now on his hands and knees and in a flash his robe transformed into thick leathery skin.  Wings of fire sprouted from his back and he rose and grew in size.   The Inn trembled as Aleister’s final transformation took place…  

A Balor Prince

While Sand and Derrick knew that it was the wizard transformed…  still the presence and power of the Aleister Balor Prince was impressive.

“This better works” spat Balor\\Aleister.

Balor\\Aleister  lumbered toward his room with heavy steps.  He opened the door and had to stoop low and wriggle in order to squeeze his demonic girth into the room.  Derrick slipped in behind him as Sand watched from the hallway.   As the two entered the Teifling awoke and stared up at the Balor\\Aleister.

Balor\\Aleister lowered his voice trying to sound as Balorish as possible.

ER HEM… MISS YOU HAVE DONE WELL TO PLEASE ME… ER… DERRICK.  

*with a beefy arm he motioned toward Derrick knocking him into the wall with a load clank.

YOU MAY GO NOW…

…

THANK YOU!

With that Balor\\Aleister turned for a quick exit forgetting his size and bashing his head and taking out most of the doorframe on the way out.

Derrick waved weakly and quickly followed.

As Derrick exited the room he noticed that Aleister had already returned to his usually form and was literally running for the stairs holding his head,  a snickering Sand in tow.   He reached the bottom of the stairs to find the guffawing cleric and the sweating wizard waiting.

“I suggest we get as far away from this place as possible,” insisted Aleister scowling at Sand who was in tears holding his side.

“Er…  Dreger’s nice this time o year… asides…  I’m gonna need a LOT o Mahogany ta fix my roof.”

“To the docks then”, commanded Aleister.

The three headed to the Leilon docks in order to get passage to Dreger with Derrick in the lead.
As the trio approached the pier Aliester leaned over to Sand and whispered:

“As soon as we are out to sea, push him over the railing.”