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Author Topic: The wind and the leaf  (Read 2555 times)

Hellblazer

The wind and the leaf
« on: November 09, 2008, 08:46:06 am »
[SIZE=16]Well here I am, debarked from the boat to Hempstead and not five minutes in, I could feel their gazes on me, hearing whispering at my back. I felt exactly as when I was young again.

Met some people.. other adventurers, they call themselves. I think they are a bit more open minded since they didn't try to kill me. But they ask so many questions.... Ayana is a sweet little ranger, introspective it seems. She ran home without saying goodbye though.. a bit lacking in manners? Oh well who isn't. There there was this blond called rose.. woa.. stunning and well.. hmm I think i could dream about her a bit. Shy though and really quiet. We went into the kobolds camp us three, but came out empty handed.  Then there is this Iris, and other cute lass, very talkative and very questioning too. Fun to have around though. Met a half orc by the name of Rak, and elf that .. well seems to like to crouch more than walk... infant stage in adult hood? wouldn't be the first time I see that. And that Arthemist following her, not sure what's up with the bottle that he was talking to her about as if trying to feed her. People can be strange some times. We cleared the kobolds twice that day. For the farmers, they said. I just had the urge to beat them up, for good or bad, who really cares as long as you do the job. But then there was an other rose.. that one had thorns longer than a bulls horn.  The witch killed me with a fireball... I swear.. if it wasn't for Selaan voice resonating in my head with her teachings.. I would have just sliced her up.. I had the urge.. really really wanted too, but it wouldn't be right.

This morning I woke up with those nightmares again.. Why can't they just leave me alone.. the symbols that I just don't comprehend.. the blood and death and carnage.. and fire like some fire pits. I just had to get up and I started to train with my blades. I realize that this is a whole different game out here. I need to train more.. I need to become so at ease with them that they are part of who I am. like if they were my arms. As one.

Oh and apparently there is someone like me.. well I don't know yet. Some guy told me to go to Leringuard and look for a man with blue skin. He didn't know his name.. just said that there was someone as odd as me there. Well see.[/SIZE]

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2008, 10:09:46 pm »
Time has flown by at an alarming rate. Since I stepped foot off that boat, sick as an old dog, I have met many new faces, but most I don't trust. There is a few I do however. Maran for one, even if we banter a lot, mostly for fun in my case, I still trust the fact that he is a nature lover. Mirren, a sweet lady, but sadden and hurt from something her past that she doesn't remember. Rose, that is still so quiet, but now I know that something horrible happened to her with a demon. And finally but none the very least, Bellethiel. I can't explain it, it just clicked I guess. We have been getting closer to one an other for the past few months. She likes going into reverie, her head on my lap that is for sure and it seems that she is interested in me. I CAN'T hide the fact that I am, even more after the treasure hunt marathon I have made for her through Mistone and Alindor. She did tell me then that I did something that really meant something for her. That she loved to see in a man. Although I think it has brought us maybe closer, at least I know she knows how I feel, I have to say that I am unsure of what she feels at all. There is time she seems interested and other times she flirts with others.

One things for sure, each night that she was with me, I have not had any nightmares. She has a calming effect on my spirit, but it's not constant. There is time I get angry.. Idoran is presently feeling some of it, but because she is always there, it forces me to keep it under wrap. But the nights that she is not there, I dream. Savage dreams, dreams of people I have never seen, of some I have seen. Battles, eternal fire, exterminations. And since I have met Belle, the dreams includes her now, and it is freaking me out.

Why does it do that? because I care.. can I not care about someone, something without having to pay the price for it? Can I not have a semi normal life, with someone to care for, to bring joy to? Or am I doomed to be the pariah of the world because of my blood? Sometimes.. living alone in the woods with the animals as company is much, much simpler.

With all of that I am still looking for that man with blue skin. I have spent entire days in Leringard looking for him. But I hate cities to the outmost, and city folks distrust me at the outmost too seeing my red eyes. Not a good mix to maximize my search.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2008, 12:05:58 am »
Well I have finally found him, a joy followed by turmoils.

His name is steel and he will train me if I get him hickory dust.

But that is overshadowed by the rest. One simple question from what seems to be a player, are we courting? And all that came out of those pretty lips of her, is.. silence.

Now what am I going to do with all that I have collected for her surprise? Is it even worth it anymore? If one stranger can bring that kind of silence...

I guess I have to get it through my thick skull. Who would want to be with what I am. I am not good looking, people find me scary because of my eyes, if not a circus act. I have a bad temper. I feel torn inside of me because of my blood. So why would someone want this into their life when there is some Idoran and Lance running around? Hell even my parents couldn't deal with what I am that they left me to die in the forest.

But for the sake of all things, I will do as I have always did. Keep it in me, bury it with all the rest. Push on and go on with life, as if there was nothing to it, nothing to harm the carapace I erected long ago. Wearing that smiling mask that everything is alright. To concentrate on my trainings and leave the rest come if it comes. I am what I am. I have to admit and face it, born from the pits and a stigmata.

They say that after the rain, there is sun. After the night, there is day. We shall see.

Why.. oh Why did I leave my forest??

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2008, 07:46:32 pm »
So much gathering my feets hurt. But at least now my surprise is complete, and I have some of the dust for steel. But since that night at the stormcrest, I have not seen Belle. Maybe she's fallen for that elf player and they have stormed off together somewhere. If it's the case, it just shows you how getting attached to people is dangerous, when you are someone like me.

Even though, he hasn't started training me, I still have practice a lot on making the doubleblades as part of myself. The kobolds have felt the searing pain of my blades a lot, while I was out there getting the things I needed. The question is, did I get all of this for nothing?

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2008, 02:17:26 pm »
Well, time goes by, and by, and by and byandbyandby.

 I haven not seen Steel since that day with Belle where he told me he would teach me if I got him some Hickory dust. Which I did and now it stands at the bank waiting for the day I would be able to give it to him. In the mean time I keep training as hard as I can, focusing on every movement so that it is fluid and precise, strong and powerful, but without putting me in a disadvantage while I strike. Focusing of feeling through my two-bladed sword as if it was my own extended limb. I know it wont be easy and I will probably get bruised up more than nothing in those sparring session, but it means the whole world to me, to be as one with my weapon as one can be, so I can be better, stronger, faster and able to protect those around me, those dear to me.

To which I don't have many.. in fact I can count on three fingers on my hand who they are. And beside Rose, I have not seen any of them for some time now. It's itching, burning, pulling it in between loneliness, worries, pain, and joy. It's hard to explain even more hard to comprehend, but it's been a month and a half now since I have seen her. Ni said he has not seen Bellethiel either since that night at the Stormcrest.  Now I wonder if she will ever come back, almost anticipating at every corner hearing her familiar voice say "Feh! sweetie". No one ever told me that could be that heart wrenching. But then again, those that raised me, never were ones to care for love. They had their duties, their care for nature and that is it. Sure they cared for me.

The nightmares have intensified now. The more the time passes by the more those I know are seen dead in them. There is this presence, this shadow in my dream. I can never make it out. Evil, destroying everything it sees. Killing the one I care about. I don't want to admit it, but it does scare me. A whole lot...


Oh right, almost forgot. Helped a Farmer by the name of Pratt, his bloody stock changed into monsters while he was out in town and we were to care for them. Mushrooms apparently. And also was recruited lately by a rofi to escort him. Turned out that we had to go down a cave and look for a boy. What kind of parents would send their child to touch a shrine, knowing that he could get killed by the beasts that lived there, for a wager.. to win some acre of land so they can retire from hunting for the Prince of wolves. Of course we found the boy dead, and the father shared a moment of sadness, but he didn't really cared about him. He cared more about the family name and honor and now having his small piece of land.

I know what I will be doing for the next few years. Every same day of the year, I'll go and bring some wolves to his herd. To sacrifice a child to such pitiful end as having a land and for the honor of ones name. It sickens me.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2008, 11:10:23 pm »
Three months now that no one has seen her. I think I have to move one it would seem. How does one do that?

I spent time with rose, and Ayana again. But I don't know, nothing is quite the same now. So I bury myself in my trainings, and in gather what I still need to get to pay for the surprise. Now what am I going to do with all of that? I can't just throw that out, and I can't give it away. What if she comes back and want to pick up where her disappearance left us? Would I still be willing, in six month? a year? Would I keep all of that until then? How long does one wait, in those moment? I don't know anyone who went through that.

Steel has also disappeared it seems, never got back to me, and I didn't get work that he was in Vehl ready for training.

Life.. is boring right now.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2008, 12:02:47 am »
Folian be praised,

My heart is in trepidation. I write in my journal as she is in reverie, on my lap again. After three long month, she is finally back, she needed to sort things and have some time on her own. Hopefully it will be beneficial. She was so excited when she saw the box I had for her, even more when she opened it and saw what was in it. I could see her eyes glittering as a child who opens a gift on her birthday. And Although I simply opened and rested my hand on my lap, she took it on her own, and as we spoke she gently caressed it. And she has this amazing little tattoo on her lower back, is it a good sing that she didn't get angry at me or slapped me because I peaked?

We ended up trying her new gifts on the poor kobolds. We manage to take all of them down, but we did take a licking. In the end we went to our spot again, talking about anything and everything. Even there again, she laughed when she realized I peaked at her again, and blushed when I told her "how could anyone be unable to look at your beauty". Shortly after she fell into reverie on my lap again, but this time I didn't want to waste my time by sleeping so instead I watched over her, gently caressing her hair.

Later on Ni came with a whole bunch of other people. After making sure she would be alright and after leaving her a note, I went with them to look for some clues about the dreaded mirror that that fat pie master stupidly got sucked into. I didn't go far into the search as I didn't feel right to have left her there, so I went back, and luckily she was still there in reverie, the note not even opened. I placed her back comfortably as she likes to be, and here I am now.

Hopefully with her by my side tonight, I will be able to sleep without these dreaded nightmares.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2008, 12:40:27 pm »
Seven months since I last saw her. So many things happened since and so many more to come. I haven't seen Steel, but I have heard of an other weapon master that could help me learn. His name is Kyle pandorn, a master of exotic blades.

 I have to say that I miss her deeply wondering if she will ever be back, but how long does one wait? I have no idea, and life just seems to take care of those things by it self. The question is now, what will happen if she comes back, and Emry and I have gotten to this point?

 I have gotten close to her, but for now it is only companion ship, but there is something there. The way she looks at me sometime, when I get close. Or even how she touched my cheek the other day. Things for sure, she appriciate my presence as she said, and perhaps there could be something in the futur. I just don't know what to do about Bellethiel though. What if she comes back? What if this.. what if that.. how does someone get to make decisions into the matter of the heart?

 For now I think I'm going to burry myself into crafting and training and see where that leads.. I am getting confused in between two possibilities that only a year ago, I wouldn't even have thought possible.

 Ni is showing signs that he doesn't want to change, my efforts to try and show him a different way have failed I think. I had to try, as Seelan did for me, instead of leaving me die there even though she knew what I was. I was given a chance to live and make a life for myself. Although most commoners can't see that I am not a beast, some do and just because of that I have to try. Emry doesn't understand, well maybe she does, but she is entrenched into the past. Even made a dagger to protect me from him. I saw that dagger the other day in vehl, but she hid it hastily, she didn't want me to think it was for me, as to deal with me. She is afraid that my will to try and help Ni, will get me killed.

 I have to say that I might have a hard decision to make in the futur, if I can not help Ni lose his streak of willigness to kill those that may stand in his ways, then I may have to do somethign drastic to protect those I care about.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2008, 03:47:04 am »
*A Letter handed out to Canar in homestead at the attention of Colin, Ranger of Folian.*

Dear Colin,

I know it has only been two years since I left home.. wolfswood forest. And I know that I haven't written to you in the past year, but things have been so weird.. so ... complicated and busy. I write to you today not knowing where to start.

First, you and Seelan would be proud of me, I am sure. In the past year since I got to mistone, I have helped many people, farmers, shop keepers, towns captain. I have made some friends, for good and bad of it. But all of this is running me thin. I was so used to the forest Colin, to the solitude and quietness. I remember when it was only you, Seelan and me. Not forgetting the wolf pack. Simpler times. Now I run around in life, unsure of where I am going, trying to give out as much as I can, in return for what I have taken, as Folian would want it. But I find myself exacerbated but the narrow minds of some of these commoners. How ever one tries to prove themselves, there is always those that would jump out at them, ready to drain their livelihood, because of their race.. or more precisely the past of their race.

I am giving a chance to a dark elf, for him to prove himself. Trying to show him ways for others to see that he is not like his brethren. But the more time pass, the more I see I am failing at it. I know that Seelan would never have given up on me, nor you. But I find myself pressed on every side, to distance myself and fall in the mold that is predetermined by others. On one side there is the people that are nonchalant about him, not caring of his race or what they did in the past, I feel the pressure from them to rebuke those that do not view him like they do. And on the other side I feel the same pressure to distance myself from him, because of who he is, and because they are not willing to give him the same kind of a chance I had from you and Seelan. That would see him hang high in the public square at the view of the children and a roaring crowd throwing apples and tomatoes to his dead corps. And I can't say that he is helping his cause either. He keeps talking about how he would dispose of those that would stand in his way, making his life difficult, and I can only wonder when he will make due of these threats, and go for someone that I care. And then what? what choice will I have? but to take action against him to protect them, and then be proven wrong. Were you two wrong in raising me? Was Seelan wrong in saving me? I am left wondering if it wouldn't have been better if she left me to die on that tree.

I also met two people to which my heart has jumped and stopped beating. One of them seems to have disappeared since almost a year now. Colin I can't even begin to describe the peace she brought me. She, by her simple presence by my side at night, managed to quell my nightmares. Can you even Imagine that? for as long as I can remember, each and every single night, I had those cursed dreams, those runic sings, the murders and mass killings of people I didn't know. And in the past years since I left the forest, the dreams had only intensified. Now I would see faces of people I knew, killed, dismembered and left to rot in the fields. Of people half dead crying and pleading for mercy. Of fields of lava and fire, surrounding me in my dreams. And worst yet.. Now in my dreams I see a shadow. humanoid.. but I am never able to reach it, each time I do.. it dissipates. But her.. she was able to give me a restful night, peaceful nights. Not once have we been together, but she would simply fall into reverie by my side and just watching her until I feel asleep myself, washed me in an aura of bliss that I could never describe. Her name was Bellethiel, but now she is gone, and I have given up hope that she will ever come back.

The other, is also of elven nature, she is an illusionist of great potential. Her name is Emry. I can not say if she has the same peaceful tendencies on my dreams as we have never spent a night sleeping in each other arms as i did with Bellethiel, but she does bring excitement to my life. I met her about 6 months ago. She has much beauty about her, not only physically, but internally too. We have spent many hours talking together of many things. And Colin, beside you and Seelan, this is truly the only person I have ever felt that was truly caring for me. Up to a point that she has even fashion a dagger in the eventuality that Ni'haer would try and do me harm. We love to spend time together, venturing in the world and even discovering new things that we had not seen. But although it is only companionship as yet, her own feelings not being at the same stage, there is more than she lets shown. She confuses me Colin.. so much. Because of her I am stuck in between two walls. One is the wall of my heart, of my growing feelings for her, and the other wall is the wall of friendship that I have for Ni'hear. She does not approve of him, and would gladly see him dead I think. Many time she has expressed her concern about him, about my safety, or more of lack of safety in giving him a chance. Do I trust him? of course not. But unlike her, I am willing to give him a chance to prove to me he deserves that trust. But yet, I can't just shrugs what I feel away and act as if nothing is. I have found my mind to be wandering toward her many times over the past few months. But also that my dreams have included her. It is so disturbing that every night, I would dream of her demise.

You told me once that I had those dreams because my true hellish nature was clashing against my beliefs and how you and Seelan had brought me up. I wonder if it is only that Colin, I fear there could be more to it than just dreams.

You have always known me to push for perfection in how I trained with my two bladed sword. Even though you always though of it to be a barbaric weapon, of no fines but only brutishness. but never once did you discourage me from trying, and so, as I came to mistone, I had started to look for a teacher of the blades. One that could help me unlock my true potential with my weapon, for me to become one with it and it with me. The first man I have me is called Steel, we had an agreement that if I was to bring him hickory dust, that he would train me, but it has also been a year since I have even heard of him, and through that time I have heard of a weapon master of the Katana, and exotic blade. Sure it is much different than mine but the principals still applies. I am presently looking up into him to see if he would be willing to teach me. Maybe you heard of him Colin, Kyle Pandorn. If you did, could you please let me know what type of a man he is? Could I trust him to not turn on me for what I am? But even so, I have never ended training myself, each day at dawn or day break. I go through the routines you have showed me, feeling for each slice, each vibration of the blades. For my sense to reach the tip of each blades as if they were the tips of my fingers. I will succeed in this Colin, The day we meet again, I want to be able to stand up tall to you, a master of my blade, a master of myself. I just hope I can do it one day, before that wrecked soul mother take my last strand. I have dined with her Colin.. you were right, it is painful, it is scary.

Well that's about it for now. I don't know when I will be able to get a letter to you again, hopefully it will be soon.

May Folian gives you the perfect hunts you deserves and may he stride by your side always.

Your son of sorts,
Fehriel.

//this letter was handed out under Gm supervision on an impromptu quest.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2008, 04:59:58 am »
Why is it that things always have to go wrong? Simply talking to Shrowd behind the merchant house near Fort Llast, out of ear shot of the pawnshop dealer and those that might walk by, not out of sight though, just out of hearing. And yet there she comes with the bandages I had asked her to purchase for me, so I wouldn't have to enter that dragon lair of Toranites. But since it was the only temple in reach, and we wanted to go hunt undeads, we needed the blasted bandages. When she reached us we had done talking and were heading back out on the road. I felt an itch up my leg, so I shifted my pants around a bit, thinking it was just the fabric running off a scab. But right there and then, her face changed, she dropped all the healing kits on the ground and cast invisibility before I could tell her what was happening. As I shifted my garb again before she disappeared, I saw ants falling down from on of the sleeve. I must have been standing on an anthill or something, because they were trying to eat me alive.. I just can imagine what she must have thought. First she asks me if I know her that well, when I let slip that Shrowd and I are the same, and now this. For sure I understand how she could get the wrong impression, but she didn't even give me a chance to explain.

So we searched, and searched, and search, the silkwood forest, the kitchens inn in Hlint, Hempstead, Krandor, Vhel. I even went on to search Mariners hold, again.. being sick on the voyage, but my mind was elsewhere and I didn't give a rat arse   that I painted the boat with my previous lunches. But she was no where to be found.

If that was the only thing, fine, maybe she wouldn't have reacted that way. But down in Haven a few hours before, her and Ni'Haer almost came to a battle of the Al'noth. Screaming at each others in front of every one, him even threatening to kill her. It didn't take me much more to get in between him and her, my blade at his throat, sending him a clear message. I gave both of them my trues at that moment, it was thoughtless on their part. Sure Ni, is the type that stays unseen and cast spells to slow the enemy down, makes us stronger and warded. He will even cast offensive spells here and there, but he could do more. Sure, she screamed at him and revealed to the whole party who he is, but in no way should he even consider threatening her, with me present to make things worse. All of that made him leave the group. I don't know if they had the sight or if he lost his concentration and got spotted. But going up we were ambushed right out of the climb up. It was only me and Ke'kay at that point and I couldn't fend them all off. I fell and I felt the soul freak tug at my soul for the second time.

I don't know. I'm lost in this situation and it is making me crazy, love or friendship, friendship or love?

And to think of it, for one that said her feelings were not at that stage yet, why the heck did she overreact that way? throwing my stuff on the ground, running away, and even leaving the bouquet I had given her that night on the road in the gobos land?
   
I AM GOING CRAZZZZYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that day had started well too. A job that took me back through my homeland to fort homestead. I had not seen Caran in so long, and he was pleased to see me too. It gave me the perfect opportunity to give him a letter for Colin. We chatted much, and he seems in good health.


Really, really reallyreallyreally.. Maybe I should just bury myself under a mountain somewhere... they are going to be my death... my death I tell you. WHY OH WHY didn't I stay in the forest.

Wellllll, tomorrow is an other day.. I hope.. I doubt it.. well maybe not.. gah I need to drink something.. something strong. Drown myself into numbness, forgetness.. if only for the night.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2008, 03:31:19 am »
*He looks at the incantation for the see invisibility spell she left on his poster*

Now.. how the heck am I supposed to use that?

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2008, 06:36:30 pm »
**Sitting by the fire with the group Samuel Hired, Fehriel takes his journal out and writes a little in it, keeping an eye of Emry that is seemingly thinking about what he said to her a moment ago.*

My drinking as of late has taken a toll, I remember that Tabris had to dragged me along by the leg once.. And as I sat in Llast, with many people, I saw Emry there. I think she recognized me even if I changed garbs and all. She didn't seem to appreciate at all my drinking then, and to say the least.. I was a bit fed up of drinking myself. Two weeks of drinking is enough for anyone I think. I gave most of my bottles to a small one from mist, she drank so much that she fell down on my lap. It was rather uncomfortable, not because Emry was there to see that, but.. well I don't just leave eny one fall on my lap. Any how that man.. Samuel came, talked that is wife was dead and all.. Tyra tried to make herself the boss of all yet again. That teen can really be annoying, impetuous and arrogant. Even when she was outvoted as the talker, she still tried to push herself over the others. That twerp sure knows how to put people against her, and then she is yelling to every one why no one listens to her. Well maybe if she would just shut up once in a while and stop barking every little thing that passes on her mind, and pay some respect to the others, the others would pay some to her in kind.

We decided to go help the man, at the time I wasn't really feeling like doing just the right thing.. always was difficult to do just the right thing for me. I know what it is, but sometimes I feel pulled the other way. And this time was stronger than the other so I asked for a pay this time. The man didn't seemed too pleased by that, but we do have to live and sometimes, well lets face it, when Tyra is there, adventuring cost a fortune in bandages.

It's a good thing Ni'haer wasn't there that day. With my mood I would have lobbed his head off, or at least threaten him of doing so if he ever threaten Emry again.. or if anything would happen to her, I swear in front of Folian that I would hunt him down, there wouldn't be any places for him to hide that I would track him down and bring Natures fury on him. He can't just go on and threaten to kill her in front of me and expect me to be all jolly about it.

Any how.. we're in a small town now, at a camp fire.. tried to get as much info as possible on the cause of death.. we know that she was left there intentionally. That's a start. As we are camping, I approached Emry and even if she didn't talk back, I was at least able to tell her my thoughts. That there was nothing in between me and Shrowd but friendship.. and even there. That I didn't try to make Emry think anything had happened. It's not something I would do to her anyway.. I care to much to lose her to such a stupid thing to do.

Well I better get some rest, well be going soon I think...

*Blows on the ink to make it dry and puts his journal back into his pack*

//to be continued in this post since it's time bubbled.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2008, 02:37:23 pm »
By Folian life is strange.

 First of, I have finally met with this Kyle Pandorn, and saw his Katana. It is a beauty of a weapon, but I still prefer my two bladed sword. After talking a little and seeing he wasn't at all put off by what I am, he agreed that he would teach me. This is good news since I have not heard of Steel for over a year. coming up on two now. And beside, Kyle said he wouldn't be able to put a price on such learning as to master one self and the blade.

 Maybe through learning to master the blade as being part of me, I will be able to gain mastery over myself and my lineage even more.. Maybe this will finally put my nightmares to rest. I can't wait to start our trainings. I expect that he will be hard, you can't become a master at what you are without putting a lot of efforts into it. I am not scared of that, not one bit.

 And the good news keeps on coming. Emry and I finally made peace. Of course there was a lot of discussion about me haven been drunk. I explain to her that it was for drinking an ale I had never drank before and was unaware of it's strength. She thought that once you drink it is over, you loose all control. Sure if you drink senselessly. But for me, drinking has always be more of a social thing with Colin. We used to drink a little together at a fire place, talking about the day's hunt. I never really needed a drink, never felt the urge and the craving of having to drink. So I know I am not an alcoholic, which is what I think scared Emry. She asked me if I could simply not drink, it was an easy answer for me since I had not touched one drop of ale in two weeks, when we talked at the fire camp. That seemed to reassure her a bit, she ended that part of the discussion with a ''we'll see''. Before she left though, I answered her other concern. She viewed me as someone saying one thing and doing the other. Somehow I felt she was talking about women in there too. Thus before she left, I told her that I could tease people, tell them I found them cute and all, but if I had someone in my heart, there would never be anything more than that. I looked in her eyes saying that, and saying that there was someone in my heart. My sight on her, I think she understood what I meant. Because she simply put her hand on my cheek before leaving.

 A few days later we went to gather the things I needed to make her arrows. As we went to get the wood, we cleared the orcs near Hlint. I was lumbering the wood as she went into their tent. I couldn't hear anything so I check, and there she was lying on her side looking at me with a smile. After a moment i joined her and she moved to the side. We laid there for a little bit and then she leaned closer to me, stopping just a few millimeter of my lips, and after taking her her sweet scent, I closed the distance.

 it was a kiss to take the breath away from any one, even monks with their superb fortitude, would have their breath taken away. And yet it was as gentle as the wind slowly breezing on the leaves, having them dance slowly and peacefully. Since then we have kept getting closer. Shrowd doesn't seem to understand why I take my time this much, saying I should jump on the occasion and just take her. But as Colin said one day, everything worth dying for, is something worth waiting for.

 I am happy.. not something I am overly used to.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2008, 01:43:27 am »
Well I have heard many stories this night, of pirates name Roberts, and Kahl, of Priceless medallion and mermaid. Had some fun with and at the expense of that ship captain.. it was a lovely time, and Emry was there too.

But now I am left to wonder a few things. Am I doing the right thing, now that I know that I am probably being hunted by a Toranite named Lyr. Can I put her into harms way by staying and being close to her?

*he looks out at the sea for a while before starting to write back into his journal* I know it is her choice to make, but I am wary of talking about it to her. My heart tells me to stay, my head tells me it could be dangerous for her if I did.

Maybe Ni was right in somethings. Maybe the only way for us to live peacefully is to take out those that would harm us or the one we care about, before they can take us out.  I can hear Seelan roll and curse at me down in her grave, for these thoughts. It wouldn't be the first time that someone would want me dead for what I am. But I have never had someone by my side to worry about. And here I was telling Ni that if he kept to their laws.. *his hand writing grows illegible at that word* and do good deeds, people would see you for who you are and leave you alone. I guess I am wrong, and there is no safe haven for us, but with those of our kinds.

Folian.. help me see what is right and good, not only for myself, but for her. Should I leave? should I stay and fight? Risking proving to those that would like me on a pike, that they were right into believing what they are, even if they are wrong.

I also have a strange feeling, I don't regret anything, but I can't shake the feeling that she might, either that or is growing tired of me. I guess I need more lessons into understanding women before I can write that book. That one lesson into not just looking at the obvious meaning of a expression, but that some of them can mean more. Is just not helping me.

Guess I'll go craft more arrows, and healing potions for the next few days, see weeks. It seems to help me think.

*He leaves his Journal to dry on his lap as he keeps staring at the sea in hurm*

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2008, 05:49:36 am »
I must be cursed, By FOLIAN, I must be cursed.. Either that or Shadon has decided that I would be his next Guenna pig for life....

She thought she would see if she could start to feel something or me and thus we tried.. but in one night.. spending talking with that Julius.. she finds out that she wouldn't be able to ever feel for me? He's elven.. I'm not.. duh.. I was raised by an elf as an elf. So what if my blood is not green or blue or what ever colors there is in life, that distinguish us from a gnoll or a umber hulk. It's the soul that counts, what is inside. For sure no one will ever have the same definitions for every thing.. does that makes us less then what they are? if a couple had the same definitions for every single things in their life... they would be the pinnacle of boredom, the perfect definition of routine.

"I don't want to lose what we have, I like what we have."

Sure, it is fun, she is great, too great, what happened to the idiom that it takes a human life time for an elf to make a decision.. or grow into something? one frigging night... is all it took. Heck, she's more human than elf it would seem for that.

I vent now because I could not in front of her.. Elves are proud.. heck I am also.. most are..

Could I get passed my own skin.. I wish it was that easy.. I can accept who and what I am.. but does she know what it is to be in constant battle inside of you, good battling the evil there is. it's not a loosing battle, it's one that I felt was becoming easier. I had someone beside myself to keep striving to win over my lineage now.

And yet again, she placed her hand on my chest kissing me, this time on the cheek though. I couldn't contain those words any longer. As I knew this would be my last chance to tell her how I truly felt. And so I told her what there was in my heart for her. Her eyes closed as her forehead leaned against my cheek at that moment. Unable to speak more than a whisper she said she had to go and she would see me soon. And as she left, I couldn't help it no more.. containing it was too hard, killing me the piercing of a million blades in the exact same spot. I howled to the raising sun, all of my anger.. all of my sadness and desperation.

Twice have I loved, twice my heart has been ripped out of my chest and shredded into tiny pieces. I curse you tree, where for I fell the first time, and now where my heart was taken into the abyss of despair. I curse you and all the others like you, may your falling leaves be for ever tainted by the blood of an aching heart. May your falling leaves, ever be the sign that beauty and harmony dies slowly as each of your leaves touches ground. May the life force be for ever drained out of your trunk, so that never shall one wort blossom out into their resplendent forms.

To roam alone, a lone wolf, no doubt it is my destiny.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2008, 10:02:24 pm »
Sorrow came to visit me today
Was the longest day, was the loneliest day
Sorrow came to steal my hope away
Only tears can tell
Of this holy hour

This mountain’s high, too high for me
This mountain’s high, too high for me

Sorrow came quicker than a fire
Was the longest day, was the loneliest day
I feel your hand, the warmth, your sweetest smile
But you slipped away, through the great divide

This mountain’s high, too high for me
This mountain’s high, too high for me
Written by Martin Smith ©2003 Curious? Music UK

This song has lingered in my head for months now.. each time I see her, hear her voice, see her smile. Why didn't Fisterion accept me as a trade for the sacrifice?

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2008, 01:22:40 am »
Today was the hardest day of them all.

I found the guy Shrowd warned me about, an altercation ensued, where I warned him to stay away from my private life. We've known each other for having traveled together, and I thought him to be a good man for a Tori.. Right after Rose Blair. But with what Shrowd had told me, I just couldn't let that stand and had to make sure he understood that it was a bad Idea to pry into my life. Malina was there though and she tried to persuade us both to stop arguing. She's a small elf I befriended a month or so back, helped her a few times with jobs and all. I thought her to be a better person than most, even if she is a xeenite, but I guess I was wrong.

She managed to convince me to go to the inn with her to calm down, and so we left there. Lyr followed not long after and as me and Malina were talking, he threw a key to me, telling me to rest and to be good. I know he was not really mad, just exasperated. But that Malina, I don't know why, she lifted my helm and gave me a kiss on the cheek, saying that he was a jerk in a way, but I was, wild and she liked that. It stunned me a bit, and while she was pressed on me, and he threw the key at me, she told me I was exotic and that was why she liked it, even though she knew what I was now and wasn't put off by it. She then asked me if I wanted to help her with a ritual and I said yes, not realising at first what she meant. It's only after we got into the room and she started to prepare herslef, and told me I was too dressed up to perform the ritual that it rang into my head.

I must have looked like a doofus right there, and Emry face passed right through my mind, but with all that had happened lately, I just needed a distraction, something to pry my heart away from Emry and give me air to breath. As we started her "ritual" I found myself to be tied up to the bed with my own darned shoe laces. And then she got up blew the candle out and walked out of the room, my armor under her arm. You can blow the candle, but the light from the inn will undoubtably light the dark room as you open the door. It made me mad at first but then I laughed. Sure she had lured me there, but still it was still funny. I chewed myself out of my bindings and got to my Armor.

I found Mel outside by the well, and we went to the fire, in preparation to a trip we were going to do. But that is where I found Malina again, Emry was there too so was Julius. Guilt came to mind right away, clawing at my head and heart as I saw her, anger washed over me after, when I saw him. But I needed the answers to why Malina had did what she did, so I tried to talk to her. Right there, she started to play me for a fool, pretending not to know what I was talking about, and being the all offuscated person, when I asked her to go talk privately, i didn't want Emry to hear anything of that. Of course it angered me and I walked away a moment, calling out to her in elven

"I should have known with the Exotic"

When I came back, she was picking on Rich, so I told her to leave him alone, but she wouldn't so I called on darkness to comfuse her and shuver her a little away. Which worked but she dropped Richie straight on the head, on a rock. I picked him up and healed him the best I could and as she came closer to pick him away from me I guess, I told her she had done enough and walked away from her toward the Ilsarian temple. She followed of course, persistent woman. Some talks ensude at the temple where she finally showed her true colors, calling me "Demon". It angered me so much, that for a moment I really thought of beheading her right there. I think she noticed and she called at me to do it on the sacred ground. Telling her they were not my sacred ground, I finished tending to Richie as best as I could, then as I left, I told her that this day she had lost a friend.

That event made me realise many things, many people plaid me in the last few months, some posing as people that were caring about me, others as some people that were friends. It made me realise that I was better off as a lone wolf. I found Emry and Melana still talking at the fire, and gave Emry the last lion bag I had had made for her, in it the last Arrows I had made, and said goodbye to both of them. Julius voice raised saying thanks for ignoring him again, which I told him it would never happen again. I don't know if any of them actually understood what I meant, but I think Melana did.

She came after me asking me why I was alway running away. I told her how I felt, that I wasn't acting as I should be toward Emry. She didn't understand that, she thought I was acting exactly how any one would, when someone was dumped to the profit of an other. I told her, that I should have been there as a friend and instead all I did was to bring her misery, that she didn't deserve it, and that I would not do that again. This is some of the reasons why I think it is best that I leave them all, that I keep to my way alone, no one to care about, no one to worry about, no one to be fooled by again. I don't kid myself, I know even Emry plaid me for a fool. Telling me to be myself, but when I am, rebuking me. Flaunting her love for Julius right into my face, knowing it was hurting me. But then being mad at me, when I would react to it.

There is still the matter of the rest of the gift I have already paid for. I will have it delivered to her, I will not be there to see her eyes brighten up when she sees it, it hurts. But I can not do this to her anymore. I can not be hurt each time I see her with him, and then transfer that to him, thus hurting her in return.

I am best alone, to hunt alone. As Folian is the longstrider, and his church is indivualistic in nature, it tells me I should be the same. I will roam the lands alone from now on. Hunt my hunts by myself. If I die in the process so be it, no one will miss me anyhow. After all, I am the "evil" tiefling, the demon.

*He looks up as he sees them come to the fire And hastily scribbles*

Darn, I can not even write my journal alone. Every where I go they either are there, or I stumble on them, or they stumble on me.

*He then closes the book and walks silently away*

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2008, 02:18:57 pm »
Women.... I was joking about making a book on them, on how to understand them.. but really someone is ought to make one.

One can't even apologize for something he feels he's done, without it being flaunt to his face for self pity. Then you can't be nice to an other one, without her thinking you are trying to woo her. And finally, there are those that are just in for the little fun, who then goes around for anything in pants that seems pleasant enough... I could name a few names for the last one.. but I said my piece about it where it was needed, and I just hope the poor lad will wake up and wonder why he was always itching where it shouldn't be.

And now to the bear.. Folian if this is a joke.. I didn't know you had such a twisted sense of humor.  It rams me, tries to chew on my butt when ever it wants to. Uses me as a pillow, or tosses me around like a baby toy. And yet it calls itself Balance.. Right.. it's far from being balancing for me. But I do have to admit, it is good to have a listening ear now and then.

I'm starting to feel less morose too, no clue if its because of the bear, or maybe just that time has finally passed enough. But then again..

Colin, you old cook, you owe me five hundred trues.. It's not a rat I got, nope.. It's a psychopath bear.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2008, 07:26:10 pm »
It is funny how time can change people. While I was listening to Plenarius talk about the betrayal of Eon, Emry took Julius apart and sat far away from me. I knew what that meant. But I noticed when Emry was snuggling Julius, that what used to tare me apart was now only a pull. It also brought me to one conclusion. I am finally moving on. I guess it is good.

One thing for sure though, after our last talk, I will let her make the first move from now on. If she wishes to spend time with me, it will be on her own term. I don't quite hold many hopes that this will be though.

Hellblazer

Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2008, 08:26:08 pm »
The end of Bloodstone, as told by Plenarius Ashaley. Written by Fehriel Cailomel

So we found ourselves in Arnax ready for the journey to the final battle. There were twenty one of us. Kobal was the last to show up, and he arrived with a key to our mission, or at least we thought it was, still not sure about that. Born by a massive ship was a gigantic dragon skull. I honestly don't know the story behind that, it was something secured by the Ulgrids if I recall correctly, but that is indeed a question for Kobal. It took two dozen stout dwarf to just unload it from the ship, and here we had to trek it across Belinara, or Xantril as we knew it then. Kavil transformed into a mighty golem and his task for the mission was well secured.

So we began the trek northward, through demon, devil, mercenary armies, until we reached that last fort, the one of hope and closed in on Sinthar's domain. It was there we knew we had to begin to make a decision... It was surmised that we may all very well perish for the destruction of a bloodwell wasn't guessed to be a simple event. We also had to defeat Sinthar Bloodstone... as Triba held the Shadow Blade, the key to being able to wound him... It was important that we time this rather well because the defeat of Blood and the destruction of his Bloodpool were considered to be earth shaking events as well. We needed to split our already small group up we figured, but we could not decide yet for sure until we knew the lay out and positioning of his tower, sadly none of us had any blueprints for it and well no one we know had vbeen in there. So we forged on through the mountaints, all the while busy with thoughts on just how to do both our tasks, destroy the bloodwell, and destroy blood...

We were starting to have a very difficult time surviving the onslaught so the possibility of splitting up wasn't a nice one. For days we fought a battle on the bridge to his demon fortress and we barely survived, we were growing truly afraid of splitting up, confronted with this force. Many fell and rose again and fought onward, strands broken, hearts growing heavy, limbs crying for a rest. But we made our way finally to his tower and it came to be that the first room we came across was the room with the Bloodwell. It was like a massive soup bubbling, but instead of bubbles, what formed were outsiders of diabolical strength and nature. It never stopped and we fought and fought and fought, all of us... We knew it would never end until we destroyed it, but we were barely surviving together, if we split up to perform both tasks at the same time, how would we survive? We had no choice after wave after wave erupted, we caught a break it seemed as a brief pause in attacks came, and we took the opportunity to rest a moment and form the groups... One was to find Blood and his pool and destroy them, then signal the other to destroy the bloodwell at relatively the same time. Myself, Connor, Remiel, Michaelis, Reventage, Brac'ar, Triba, Ozymandias, Talan and Lalaith would search the tower for Blood and his pool. Kobal, Lia, Yardislan, Barion, Synal'dur, Daeron, Acacea, Alantha, Dorax and Kavil to fend off the well until the time came to destroy it. So as towers go, finding where the big bad guy is, is pretty easy, opposite of dungeons really. You go to the top.

We shared blessings and protections with the group and hugged, wished well to each other and parted ways, quite unsure of another meeting ever, at least in life. Kavil still held the dragon skull and he wasn't much help in combat bearing something like that, so you can imagine how much of a chellenge that group met. So our plan was to somehow signal, or perhaps they'd know when the bloodpool was destroyed through a trembling and they could destroy the bloodwell... and if by chance one of us failed after a certain time, the other would just perform their task deemed and attempt to perform the other task after the fact. Bit of a fool's hope that.

The group I was with forged through elite guards as we ascended the tower... it was at this point we came across a room with two dragon statues. Reventage had determined they were somehow still alive, but magically encased and Brac'ar, Connor and Ozy had gleaned that a lever in a corner would either kill them or release them. So to be honest, this was a twist we didn't quite expect and in the end we figured the best thing to do was, well, nothing. We didn't want to awaken a couple encased dragons only to be eaten. And we didn't need killing two good dragons on our conscience at the time either if they happened to be good and the lever killed them. I think some of us had silently hoped the defeat of Blood would release them. Anyway we pressed on and finally at the precipice of the tower, Triba caught him first.... "There!" she called loudly. Time stopped, hellballs were set unloose and before we could even think a couple of the group had fallen. He sat with his two most elite guards and they ran at us, my eyes were peeled upon Triba who I knew held the Shadow Blade. Reventage and Remiel flanked Blood as he continued to cast, Michaelis stood in front of him, valinatly swinging.  It all happened so fast.... Triba came running, screaming 'Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh' and in a great gowl and crack she pierced his spint with the blade. He fell to his knees and arrows began to pierce him, swords impaled and in only a moment he fell, but not before his last spell had killed Triba. We all expected a huge explosion but nothing, he died as many of us do, a quiet ending. We raised the fallen and recuperated slighlty, we still had to destroy the bloodpool and from past experiences we knew that this certainly causes a bit of a reaction. Yes we had destroyed bloodpools before. Toss a vial of liquid in to it, seemed to do the trick. So after recuperating and us believing it was the proper next course of action, she hurled the vial into the bloodpool... and that's when the pillars began to shake.

The ground trembled and the walls began cracking. It was time to get out of there, we fled, we were't sure how the others had done, but we would soon find out. As we ran our way back, we saw those stone dragon statues crumbling upon the shaking of the tower, they became dust and I've always wondered what could have happened there. We finally turned the corner and caught a glimpse of the other group, all still alive gratefully I quickly did a count, but there was no skull... then it hit us. The earth trembled again and all the world seemed to be sucked up in an an instant, I gazed across to the other for what felt like one last time, in my sights was Lalaith, between the two groups, she disappeared a second before we felt it. We were pulled for what seemed like forever to our death, magically imploded upon the death of a bloodwell. Our last dying breath was being inhaled... But something happened... Shadows surrounded us and pulled us into a void of darkness as we seemed to look upon Layonara from without... the explosion growing. The mountain in our mind;s eye disintegrated, a great black valley was left, as we watched it grow for miles and miles long and deep, total complete ruination and chaos. The dust rose higher in the sky and it began to circle the globe.  Like a massive volcano... it was then that the sun would not shine for a long while. And as quickly as it all began, the shadow released us back where we started.  Lalaith had summoned the aid of the Lumbral, who owed us a small debt for being released from Blood's bounds... and they came through. The question I wonder, was it there massive power to release us and save us what caused the catastrophic explosiion or was it the destruction of the bloodwell.

So there ye have it....