Barion Firesteed( thoughts of a fighter)

[jan]

After a battle with some undead in The broken Forrest,Barion sits down by a tree and thinks:                                               Finaly i can take some time to reflect on my adventures and the way i want to continue my life
Before coming to the lands of Mistone,i thought i was capable enough to protect myself from the evils in the world.
When i came here i found out that i thought wrong....
I decided that the right thing to do to get some gold to buy food,would be hiring myself to people to perform some small tasks.
After i excepted the first task,getting the taxbooks back from some ratman living under the city of Hlint,i went in there thinking i would do so easely.
After 5 minutes ,i found out that i was not nearly skilled enough to survive,let alone bring back the books ,by my own.
I was lucky enough to find a kind fellow adventurer to help me,and he gave me some tips on how to go about town.
He also told me that i had to train better and should try to get some coin to inprove my equipment.
The best tip he gave me was : get a group to go with you,because you have to learn your way with the weapons and armors better before you can go out on your own.
After i swallowed my foolish pride ,i decided that he defenetly was right (after visiting the void a few times)
I met a lot of people that where having the same problems i had,and we started to go out together to do the tasks we were asked to do.
We found out that the more training we got,the better adventurers we became.
As time went by ,the normal things that happen to a group,happent.
Every-one went on their own path ,and we split up to learn more from some nice adventurers with more skill and training,to become more able then we would have been if we had stayed together.
I meet all kind of adventurers:wizards,priests,bards,fighters,monks,and e few i dont even know what they are.
As i travell along with them,i start to think what would be my best chance of fame and fortune........
                   
                        Barion closes his journal with a fast movement and puts it in his pack,mumbling to himself :    
                      "those undead keep coming back and back and back"while taking his sword in his hand again.

[jan]

New entry by Barion
I have to sit down and write this ,because its to much and to important to comprihent as a whole ,in one time.

  Had a talk with a man named Ozymandias Llewwellyn yesterday.
He told me and shelu about the bloodwars .
I now know something about what the principle and origin of this war is.
He also told us that we can not win if it turns out to frontal fighting with our adversaries,and that we have to find a way to kill the commanders of their troups to get them fighting each other .

I asked him if there were people that could stop the enemy,and he said that he was looking at them,meaning Shelu,me and the rest of our generation,with the help of the hero`s that are still around.
When i asked him how we could train to be victorius,he said that we were doing just that now: training in small groups to work together to become better balanced as a group.
His remark that he thouhgt that the big battle will be in two or three years upsetted me a bit,because we are not even strong enough to kill their minions by large numbers now.( mental note to self:increase training rate )
It is comforting that he will do what ever he can to help when the time is there for him to act(his enemy being blood and all that follow him).
But enough about that for now ,since im still trying to comprehend all that he told us.
Training is going better now,im training alone in the Grey peaks and it seems that the solitude helps me focus better .
I would love to be around shelu more ,but im afraid that i`m pushing myself to much if she is around.
I love her i think but i`m not sure if she loves me back, i`m not good in talking about it so i just have to wait and hope she gives me some sign of affection i think.
Anyway`s, i love this sword i have now and im getting better in wielding it (dont think i have the time to chance my choise of weapon now anyway).
All my training in the Grey peaks tought me that i have to train more with multiple opponents ,because i can take on one at the time now but having trouble if there are more of them.
Also have to find a way to become quicker with my attacks,and some protection against magic to help me with those blasted mages.
I can do damage(not enough yet) but it takes me to long to kill them,maybe i can find a way to hit faster after another.
The hard ones seem to get in somekind of trance or something ,wich makes them completely focust on fighting.
In that state they hit harder then they normaly would i think ,maybe i can learn that aswell.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  All the training seems to come together now,its getting easyer to wield my sword and focus on my opponent now.
  When i started to intencivy my training , i found out that i had to use my sword more as an extension of my arm
 rather then as  a sword on itself.
  Starting to get the hang of it now,i seem to be able to focus on my opponent more because i stopped thinking on how to hold
 my  sword during fighting.
  Training in soletude has made me finaly understand that its not only the power that you wield the sword with ,
  but rather the skill  to wield it right makes the difference in a fight.
   I'm sure that with the newly found focus i'm a better fighter then i was,but still have the problem of hitting to slow i think.
  I think i will ask some friends if they know of a way to improve my speed with the sword.
  The multiple attacks i trained are working out nicely,the whirlwind attack is one of my favorites now.
  I still dont like the defencive expertise style,but i will try it out more to see if it realy works .
  Still not sure about my future tho,since i havent seen shelu as often as i did before i start to long for her more.
  It's strange,because i thought that seeing her less would help me to put things in perspective but i mis her more then i could think.

[jan]

New enrty by Barion

  I'm so happy now ,there is nothing in the world that can make me bleu.
  It all started when i met shelu finaly ,becose of my solitair training i hadent seen here for days.
  We started talking and one thing led to another, i found out shes from voltrex and ran away from home,
  that is...the temple she grew up in.
  I told her my life story and that i have troubles expressing my feelings,because i learned that showing your
 feelings makes you vulnerable.
  She told me that she had the same problem,but also that feelings cant kill you*smiles thinking of her*
  I gathered all the nerve i could and finaly told her that i love her ,expecting nothing to happen.
  To my joy and delight she told me that she has feelings for me too,but that we have to take it slow.
  I'm going to train with her ,every chance i get and i'm going to make her proud on her "brave and warm human".
  My new goal in life is to extend my life as long as possible,so i can grow old with the keeper of my hart.
  Maybe a verry powerfull sorcerer can help me with that,ill ask aleister if he knows a way to extend life.
  *sighs* thats the only thing keeping us apart for now,i hope its not going to get between us.

[jan]

new entry by Barion Firesteed
 
  These past days were realy great,training and talking with shelu realy is the best thing happening to me in months.
  We are growing closer to eachother every second we are together,and we both like it verry much.
  I was thinking of a way to do something realy special,and when the opportunity came....i did .
  I surpriced my love in the crypts,(smiles thinking of it ) i asked her to marrie me!
  I was afraid that she would think it was to soon,but to my relief she didnt even had to think about it and sayd yes!
  Taislin was there and he was delighted just like we are .
  We went to the surface and i couldnt help myself.
  We went into the Wild Surge Inn and i shouted the news around that we are going to marry.
  Shelu liked it much,and she was holding my hand all the time smiling from ear to ear.
  Taislin wanted to tell every-one the good news ,and we let him do that for us .
  There are realy bussy times coming now,with the preparations for the wedding and the search for a house and all.
  We didnt pick a date yet,because we have to tell every-one and need a lot of money to pay for it i think.
  We met sy at the tempel and told her the good news,she was realy happy for us and looked radiant herself.
  I didnt know why,but later that day i learned why ( smiles brightly ),sy is getting married to!
  Sy is going to marry kai and im happy for them.
  Shelu thought about having a double wedding,and i will do it if she wants but it not what i thought of when i asked her.
  I rather have a nice small ceremony for just the two of us and some close friends,then a big party for all that know us .
  Realy have to talk to her about that , and i hope she wont be dissapointed if i tell her .
  I'm thinking of the vows we will make ,and i'm not working on mine because i wil tell her what my heart tells me there and then.
  Training with her is a pleasure as always,she uses her magic to make me stronger and better skilled and we do work good
  as a  team now.
  I cant stand it if she does get surpriced and falls to the enemy,the feeling i get then is only to be discribed as dying myself.
  We are getting better every day and i feel my training with her helps me a lot to become stronger and more skilled.
  I can only hope that we will be happy together for a long long time,still have to find aleister or maybe ozzy to ask about
  a way to extend my life.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  Had a talk with Jet yesterday,he was looking depressed and shelu and i wanted to know what was wrong.
  Jet told us his life-story,that he was abducted at young age by a group called 'the crimson blades''
  and that he was trained by a man named Hyde after his father refused to pay the ransom.
  He told us how he was left for dead by them after he chalenced Hyde,because he didnt want to murder innocents.
  He was lucky,or strong willed enough, to survive and he made the promisse to himself that he would face Hyde
  if he was recoverd and had found him.
  Now it seems that they have almost found him,and he knows he stands a small chance,but hes to proud to ask help.
  I insisted that he would tell me if he went after them,and finaly persuaded him to do that (i hope)
  Shelu wants to come aswell( ofcourse she wants to be with me) and Jet promissed to tell us if he goes after them.
  I hope he understands that he has friends that will help him,if he only lets them.
   

[jan]

New entry

  Marrying shelu might take some time to take place i'm afraid,she wants me to meet her family first.
  Since they live on Voltrex,a k a the closed world, its going to be difficult to let her wish come true*sighs*.
  I'll do my utmost best to go there with her and im sure we will get there ,but it will take time,a lot of time.
  We finaly had the kind of talk i wanted to have earlyer,finaly she could open up to me and tell me how she feels.
  I was afraid for nothing the last weeks,as she told me now that she realy loves me
  and wants to be with me the rest of her and my life.
  I told her that i was getting doubts,because she never told me face to face that she loved me.
  She told me then that she has the same problems about expressing her feelings as i had first.
  "I thought you could read my mind dearest,and i thought you could feel the love i have for you with-out saying it",
  she said to me*smiles thinking of that* and i told her that i did,but that i also needed it to be told to me
  for i want to be absolutely sure that i'm not pushing myself upon some-one that has doubts.
  She took my doubts away alright,and we ((censorred)).
  I'm going to increese my efforts to become stronger,because i want to meet her family ,not meeting them
  is the only thing standing in the way of us marrying*sighs thinking of a way to get to voltrex*.

 

[jan]

New entry by Barion


   Something wonderful happened last night,Shelu and i where fooling around with each-other at the campfire in Rangers Vale.
   We were surpriced by a nice old wizard that came to the camp,and i asked him if he knew of a way to extend life.
   He didnt know of a way *smiles* he said that he was old and if i found a way,i should find him and tell him.
   Suddenly some creature appeard in front of Shelu....i wanted to grab my sword,but felt imediatly that i shouldnt.
   The creature had wings and looked like an angel or something like that,and she started to talk to my love.
   I only heard some of the telling she did (Shelu was frozen it seemed),as i fell down in praying for this glorious angel.
   But from what i heard,i can tell now that we will be together for-ever if we keep up doing what we are doing now:
   help and protect the innocents of the world,when and where we can.
   I realy am impressed with the display of wisdom of this goddes Shelu follows and i will bind my soul to her altar.
   I will talk to shelu and the priestess in hlint to find out more about this believe as i'm interested in it now more than i was
   ever interested in a faith before.

[jan]

new entry by Barion
 
  im cofused ....i dont know what to do....im angry and sad at the same time...i need time to think.

  Yesterday i gave shelu  an engagementring  and all was going fine...ranewin and trysk asked us if we would like to
  rent two rooms in the house they live in ,and we went looking there .
  It looked nice  its a house in krandor   we can have two rooms to ue rane said and we were verry happy then .....
  Shelu and i wnt to the inn to get some sleep  but ...well..we took a while to realy  go to sleep.
  Now im sitting here with a letter shelu wrote to me....she accuses me of playing a game with her feelings*sighs*.
  She wants to call the wedding off*starts to cry*  ...i dont know what to do....she wants her share of the money we saved,
  i'll leave her all...its no use living with-out her .
  I'm going to wright a last will  giving all of my possesions to her ...and end my life fighting if we dont get together again.
  i hope to see her one more time before i depart from this world,maybe she can explain what happenend...
 



  new entry by Barion
 
  i talked to shelu now...she said shes sorry  and that she over-reacted....she said that she was tired and came to the wrong
  conclusions.
 
 i'm still hurting tho..i thought she new and loved me  ..but its hard to believe that after this......
 i told her i needed time to get my thoughts back in the right order ,witch i have to do realy.
  My mind tells me that she maybe not loves me...but my soul knows she does ,its strange but ill listen to my soul...
  we have to have a good talk tho   to sort things out  and i want to know why it happenend ,so i can do anything
  to prevent it again.
  Maybe my trainer was right afterall : feelings can be deadly  if they turn themselves against you.

  I'll go look for her now  hope she will talk to me,i left her in a bit of a strange way and all.
  Now i had the tim to think about it  and im not so hurt any-more..it was just a mistake i think  im sure she loves me .

[jan]

New entry...by Barion
 
  I'm feeling better now,i had a small talk with shelu  and it seems she realy is sorry.
  It wasnt a thing i did that made her think bad of me , it was something i said that made her think that.
  The words that made her think so,i will never ever say to her again.
  Altho we talked i'm still not able to get intimite with her because she has me built up the wall of protection once again,
  looks like it will take me some time to trust her in the same way that i did before.
  I must find some-one to talk to,and try to find my peace back once again.
  I want to talk to sy, because she probably is the one closest to shelu right now,because i want to know if i should
  tell al things happenend to me to shelu or not.
  I told shelu i would never have any secrets for her but i dont know if this is the time to tell her i shortend my life.
  Wouldnt it put her under pressure if i told her that because of this i met the soulmother again?
  ill wait with it , because i dont want her to feel guilty at my expense .

[jan]

new entry



   im lost in the world now....
   shelu wants to break up....again....i dont know why  this time she ment it  i think
   ive persuaded her to talk about it ,but she was verry ferm ...i hope for the best
   but im afraid my life as i knew it will be over soon.......

[jan]

new entry
 
   im happy again...we made up...we both need to work hard to make it right
  but im sure we can do it   she said she will not be so insecure anymore ..and i told her that she is stronger then she thinks
  im not apreciating here enough lately..should have told her what it does to me if shes not around
  ill make it up...she is the reason im stronger ..with her spells and her love she boosts me up
  we agreed to call of the wedding as she is not yet up to it and we need to understand each-other more then we do now
  we had a long talk at rangers vale  where we both feel at home  and we sorted it out
  when i write this she is sleeping in my arms in our room ,,i hope this moment never ends

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  It's been a while since i last wrote something...must have been the fun i have lately.
  My training is going the right way now,i almost master my blade like it's part of me.
  I'm faster now then i was,think that its becouse of the training i put into it.
  Thing's between shelu and me are better then before*smiles* we talked about almost everything now.
  I did something she didnt want tho... i pledged to aeridin to take my life insteed of hers if she might
  meet the soulmother,she said not much about it but i know she didnt like that action.
  We went on a mission a while back,to talk to the people to support the Mistone Alliance.
  We were with a big group ,but shelu almost single handedly convinced a lot of people to support it .
  She was wearing her weddingdress and she was stunning in it,i was so proud of her.
  I have to talk to her about her behavier lately,she seems to get too friendly to a lot of people.
  Don't get me wrong...i like it when she has some fun,but her reputation could be harmded by this .
  Jet has some trouble with a man named Drouge he said....
  He also said that Drouge is one of the type that rents in assasins to get rid of enemy's.
  Jet is afraid that Drouge will try to get to him through his friends,so he aske me to be carefull.
  Shelu is growing in power i think,she uses a lot of new spells*smiles* and she does that well i may say.
  The saving for the house is going well,we have some money set aside now,we dont owe any-one
  so we are doing well.
  I have a new training ground now..Berhagen mountans its called.
  I usualy go there with  Trysk and Angela and we met a new adventurer that goes with us there ,Abigail.
  I realy don't know what to think of her,she acts ...grumpy....but she also has her soft side i guess.
  We will see what happens with her over time...
  Shelu and i have spent a lot of time with Angela the last time she visited us*grins*i realy like her.
  I think she likes shelu more then me,but i dont mind..she's good company and a real angel
  if you get to know her better*grins*  and we did.
  We both are looking forward to her next visite,maybe it gets even better then the last time.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

   Yesterday was a strange day...i got a letter from my love in wich she told me she is going to the tempel for a while.
   I tried to train but i didnt do much good...i almost fell to some goblins of all creatures.
   Fifur asked for some help with the undead in the krandor crypts later that day,
   and inspite of what i wanted to do,i helped him as best as i could.
   It all went well at first...but then on the way back we messed up,we lost control of the group and we died there .
   Fifur died first...he isnt realy good at positioning himself in battle it seems....he ran into the undead and was swarmed.
   I tried to retreat to the corridor to stand my ground there..but all ran to and past me,swarming me  with undead.
   We got some help from an old friend of Abi,and we retrieved our graves.
   When i noticed Abi to stand completely alone,away from the group, i asked her why she did that.
   She said it was a long story and she only wanted to tell it if i was interested,i told her i was ,that i want
   to know the people that im with in combat,because it can save my life someday...she agreed and we went to our house.
   She told me her tale,and a sad tale it is*sighs*,she offered somuch of herself to the one she loved ,that she lost
   her hart completely she said.
   I'm not sure about that,but she believes it so it is the truth as far as she knows.
   She told me there is a chance..a long shot...that their might be a piece of her hart somewhere else and if she can
   get to that piece ,her hart could grow once more.
   i offered to help her anyway i can..and i hope she will take me up on that..in a strange way i like her.
   Then something starteling happenend...Angela came by...
   I let her in,and the first thing she did was yelling at me.....i didnt understand,so i asked her what i had done.
   She accused me of telling Sy that we had been together ,Shelu,Angela and me.
   I didnt do that..but i had spoken to Sy earlier,i told her Shelu was flirting with some-one and she siad:
   "you only have to worry if its Angela"..i told her it wasnt..that it was kai.
   I also told her that i wasnt worried because we trusted each-other good enough to let a third person join us in
   our sexual life..she wanted to know who it is...but i didnt answer that...she must have guessed i think.
   I only am concerned about Shelu's reputation and i wont talk to Sy about my feelings anymore,she broke my trust .
   Then Abi cotinued her tale  because i asked her to talk to Angela ..i didnt want Angela to be hurt in any way.
   When Abi was done i got som more bad news...Angela is going home..shes leaving us in hlint.
   I dont know why yet...i guess i fell asleep as she was starting to tell me why...i hope to hear that tonight .
   Its been two days now since i saw my love*sighs*  its harder then i thougt...i miss her..i hope she comes back soon.
  I did sent her a note: "E mailcca selalaaw aey melemin...( i miss you my love)...E ceela eay...(i love you)...
   E amillan il nyerecw ameanir eay..(i want to have a child with you) ..i hope shes alright ..its cold alone...

[jan]

New entry by Barion
 
  I met up with shelu earlier this day..it was good seeing her again,we helped trysk get out of storan's tomb..he got cought inthere.
  Shelu and i had a small talk then..she decided that she will go to the tempel in the afternoon,
  and tries to be with me in the mornings.
  Ive been called to help agains a threat of gnomes later on the day...ofcourse i will answer the call..we gather in lorindar later.
  I must say im glad that i got something to do..being alone makes me miss her more,
  ill train hard to make myself better ...she likes it if i get stronger im sure she will be pleased if i can improve myself.
  All her being in the tempel makes me wonder ....is there a place for me maybe in her tempel?...
  I'll try to find elledan to talk to him,maybe he can answer some of my questions about being a aeridinite.

[jan]

Entry by Barion


   Yesterday was a strange day....so much happenend...i dont know where to start....maybe i can start with this......
   Every thing around me seems to change...Angela...Sy  even Shelu seems to change...
   It all started yesterday in a fine way...all was normal...Shelu was there just as she said she would,
   Angela was still angela,and Sy as usual ran around hurt from some battle .
   I met up with Shelu to gather some sand,we were underway getting it as we met Abi.
   Abi and Shelu haddent talked to each-other much ,and i thought it time they did so i told Shelu Abi's tale.
   We were talking about her when Abi met us and i asked her to tell shelu the rest of her tale,she did .
   They talked as i gatherd sand and when i came back i heard Abi ask Shelu what she would do if
   i would leave her for another love...just as she asked me what i would do if Shelu left me...
   I was surpriced by Shelu's answer tho..she said she would get over it..it would take centuries..
   but she thought she would get over it ...i was surpriced because i would kill myself if she left me...
   ....nearly did that when she wanted to leave me earlier...maybe elfs have a different view on
   ever lasting love then humans,i didnt like hearing that she would get over me ..but didnt say anything.
   A long time ago we had a talk with rev about our love,she told me i shouldnt feel its a contest
   between Aeridin and me for Shelu's love..i hope she was right,because if it is ..im losing her.
   She spents more and more time in the tempel ,but i dont complain its her choosing to do so.
    The only thing i can do is love her and be there for her if she needs me.
    I hope my fears are incorrect ,that she realy still loves me as she said she did,with all her hart and soul.
   
   We went to Hlint to see if any-one was there and we found Angela and Ranewin sitting on the beanch
   by the smitty.
   We first talked about all sorts of things and everything seemed fine.
   Then Angela said she had to write a letter and asked Ranewin to translate it for her to elven.
   She said to me that i should hear this aswell and wanted me to come along as they went to a quieter place.
   It sounded like a suicide note to me...witch in fact it was...she killed Angela she said
   and has taken another name now: Aikanaro...when i asked what it means she told me : hellfire...
   When she was gone ,we ..Shelu and i..talked a bit with Abi about it.
   Altho Abi cant feel emotions she though that she understants what happenend,Angela never was answerd
   in her real love for others,always was left by her loves even if they didnt know she loved them i think.
   I was confused ..but i though : ill think about it later...
   I should have thuoght about it emidiatly...we left on a trip...Angela..Ranewin...Abi...Nex and me...
   It was fun,we went to the Dragon isles and had a lot of good training,Nex left us halfway but ill keep his
   share of the loot till i see him..no-one died,that was a first Ranewin said she always ended up with atleast
   one person death in her previus trips so we did exeptionaly well together,we should do it more often.
   When we were back in Hlint i may have hurt Aikanaro tho....i was still confused about all that had
   happend and when i said i had the loot but wasnt happy i had to collect it ,
   i followed with the remark that i wandered if any-one else from the party was to be trusted to do it.
   Angela didnt like that remark...she was right i shouldnt have said that....and asked me if i didnt trust her.
   I answerd her with something that was right at the time ..but isnt right after straigting out my thoughts .
   I told her i wasnt sure who or what to trust anymore...im very sorry i did..but at that time it was true.
   Now after thinking about it , im sure i can trust Aikanaro  but i will have to tell her that i think
   maybe explain why i said that..i hope she isnt too mad at me and all will be good again .
   The call i answerd the day before was indeed a threat of gnomes...still is ..i think .
   We were asked to get three components of a machine back that were stolen by evil gnomes,
   we manedged to get one of them that day, after beating down minotaurs and golems.
   It was a very powerfull party i went with but i tried to do my best ...i died once tho..but i was ressurected by the priest.
   She said i was lucky i wore a soulstone,because if i haddend she wouldnt have ressurected me.
   I told Shelu about it  and she said that a priest might get hurt if trying to ressurect a follower of an other god.
   Knowing this i dont think ill join any gods service soon, it would slim my chances of beeing saved from death.
   I told Shelu that in the future i only want her in my bed,that i dont want any-one to join us again.
   I only love her and i dont like it if some-one else can touch her as i do,and dont realy like it if they touch me
   in places i only want to share with my love.
   It was fun and pleasureble for once...but i dont want to make a habbit of it.
   I dont know whats wrong wth Sy lately..it seems like shes avoiding me...maybe she knows she hurted my feelings by telling
   Angela/Aikanaro that i told her it was her that shared our bed,i dont know ...but i like it solved so i will try to talk to her.
   I'm looking forward to hear the call to strike down the rest of the gnomes..it was a nice experience to be of help
   in the struggle for good .

[jan]

New entry by Barion


   Again things have changed yesterday,but now they changed for the good of things.
   I went with a group to another part of the dragon islands..
   At first all went well,only fifur was running off to get his training alone,wich wasnt too smart but he   ..hes fifur .
   It turned bad when we entered a dungeon there ,in the beginning of the dungeon all went fine..
   we encountered werewolfs and cows( minotaurs ) that we could handly nicely
    When we got further down the dungeon ,we came to a door that was closed ..Abi  ,who was there too,said it was a death-trapp.
   How right she was ...we entered anyway  ,only to find a lot of drow ,and when they were dead a demon appeared
   and killed most of us with just one terrifying spell...
   After my visite to the void,i decided to wait at the boot,insteed of going back there weakend.
   After a whil Abi joint me and waited with me .
   We had waited some time when Aikanaro cam to us,she vissited the void as we had done ,and dicided she waited with us.
   I talked to her about what happend the day before ,and she said she understood it and wasnt mad at me.
   She wanted to show me a letter Shelu wrote her,but instead she found a poem she had gotten from Abi.
   She asked Abi to read the poem for her,witch she did.
   Aikanaro asked me if i knew what it ment,but i didnt.
   After some time they wanted to talk to each-other in privat ,so i left to train a bit in the broken forrest.
   When i was home resting ,Aikanaro and Abi showed up at the house.
   I lt them in and bid them welkom..then something strange happend.
   Abi got real close up to me,followed by Aikanaro..who told me they talked about their problem...and it was all my fault...
   I told them: okay...blame me ..,and went out to sit at the water side to calm down.
   They followed me out...and then surpriced me with a kiss....telling me they were both alright ,and that they
   just were playing a trick on me.
   I looked at them closely  and Abi showed feelings...and Aikanaro told me she was Angela once more .
   I dont know how,but they seem to have heale each-other ..im happy for them .
   They want a place to live together now and asked me if i know some-one with room.
   The only one with room and planning on renting it ,is brant  spo ill take him to see Angela next time i see him .
   I had a talk with Shelu in the beginning of the day..spilling al the worries i had with her .
   I showed her my vulnerable side,a side i normaly dont show,and we had a good talk about our love for each-other.
   As it turned out  she can not commit suicide if i ever should leave her ,because of Aeridin.
   She explained why she said to Abi what she said,and i understand now.
   We grew closer together another bit,if thats even possible,she thanked me for beeing so open to her with my feelings
    and saw it as the greatest sign of trust she could get, i told her i was sorry for hurting her ,but she cried toggethr with me
  saying it was okay,we need to talk even more about our fears and feelings to understand each-other completely.

[jan]

Entry by Barion


  These last days were hards and long and strange and exiting all together.
  I'm getting more and more worried by Shelu's long stays at the tempel,it seems like she's rather there then with me .
  This sounds silly ,and probably is , but i cant help but feeling this way,the feeling of losing her haunts my dreams.
  Howmuch more of her being not there i can take ,i dont know, my state of mind is suffering under it  and i'm
  grumpy and silent to the rest for a while now,always running into battle first to get my mind thinking of other things.
   When we do see each-other we mostly are both busy with all sorts of things,so we dont talk alot anymore.
  Earlier this week  bloods forces attacked ft Velensk.
  We were asked for help by a member of the Mistone Aliance to defend the place,and ofcourse we did .
  It was a hard and long battle ,with lots of casualties ,but in the end we did succeed to stop the attack.
  I was fighting in the frontline and Shelu was right behind the line healing and protecting as much as she could.
  O how proud i am of her ....she did a wanderfull job and because of her and the others we won the day.


  I met a drow named Ael last week ,it was one of the persons Ozy told me to contact if i wanted to help
  in the battle against Bloods forces .
  Because of the secretie he wants to keep,i cant write down what we talked about ,as it must not fall in wrong hands,
  but it looks like we finaly are going to do something about the forces already on the continents.
  Hopefully it will al start soon ,so i have less time to miss my love.

  A few days back a lady asked my help in finding a man named Sand Krows, i posted a lot of flyers in the places
  well visited by a lot of people ,but i did not yet get a reply .
  I'll keep on the look-out for him as the lady was realy concerned about him or what might have hapend to him .

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 These last days were strange ..i was sad and happy at the same time.
 I was sad because Shelu got a case of homesickness and i wasnt able to help her .
 Her mother had her birthday and Shelu was sad she couldnt be there .
 
 I was happy because i was able to help a friend rescue some-one from a tempel.
 Ael had asked me to help him and others to save the woman that was as close to him as a mother from a tempel.
 To reach this goal,they had planned for days ,and made a lot of preperations to aid the group and destroy the tempel.
 When we went there under the protection of a invisibility spell,we were 17 man/woman on a mission.
 Ael divided the group in two groups,one assault group and one Infiltrate and rescue group.
 He put me in the assault group with a lot of other great fighters and healers and mages.
 Our objective was to create as big an diversion as we could,to let the other group get into the tempel to rescue
 the woman and plant bombs to utterly destroy the tempel when we were done.
 We new that it wouldnt be easy,but what we found even exeeded our worst thoughts i think.
 Rolf planned our strategy together with Ael and did a great job i must say.
 We had a frontline of three people ,followed by a second line of four and they were followed by the thirt line
 beeing the healers and mages.
 Ael honored me to take place in the frontline*smiles* together with Skarp and Lokri ,two great fighters.
 Rolf had his doubts i think,but he stayed quiet and was ready to take my place if something would go wrong.
 He didnt need to i may say*grins* i did amazingly well in front.
 We went to the tempel and had to take care of the sentries standing out side quickly so they couldnt raise the alarm.
 I guess we failed at that,because we were attacked by wave after wave of drow warriors and clericks and assasins.
 We put down two or three waves of them before we retreated to regroup and discuss what we were suppost to do.
 We desided to lure some of them out,destroy them and then get in the tempel as fast as we could.
 It worked out fine,just as we planned we destroyed the group lured to us by rolf and the group waiting for us in front
 of the tempel after wich we entered the tempel itself.
 Inside of the tempel we were attacked by wave by wave by wave of drow*feels his still sour muscles*that dindt seem to stop.
 We must have slaugtered 2 to 3 hundred of them ,when we got help from an un expected ally.
 The people and trees from the nearby forrest came to help destroy the drow,we dont know why.....but they did
and we should be greatfull of them for doing so ,because we didnt realy got through their ranks fast.
 We had no way of knowing if the other group was succesfull,so we kept on fighting as long as we could,killing drow after drow.
 In the middle of the fight ,the floor started trembling and we desided to get out while we could.
 Just in time we were out,the complete tempel was destroyed by collapsing into itself.
 The next hours were horrible,because we didnt know if the other group was out and succesful or still inside and trapped.
 One of our group( i think it was Alanta ) sent out her pixie to look if there was news in saudira where we were to
 meet each-other again.
 After a long wait we got word that the other group was succesful and waiting there,the joy of the unsertancy lifted was great
 and we hurried to them to celebrate our victory.
 When we went our own ways after we had talked about it some-more my real reward came....it seems like im respected by
 the others for my skill in combat and my never giving up attitude in battle.
 Aaaahhh i finaly am becoming what i want to be now...a respected and liked warrior ...by the people i want it from the most.
  My friends and comerades in battle *looks realy proud writing this down*.
 My only regrett is that Shelu wasnt there to see "her man" doing so well*sighs* i hope she is alright  and i hope she returns fast.
 Im on top of the world now,nowing that my training is paying off so well,in time i realy will be...................................................
 ..........................................THE BEST SWORDFIGHTER IN THE WORLD ...............................................................................

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 Its been a while since i last wrote something ,i've been bussy *grins*.
 I have been traveling a lot lately , and now i have the plan to get a group together to travel to new areas set into action.
 Together with Kloss and Lokri among others i went to Dregar to collect mahogany and gold ore.
 We did well whem collecting the mahogany , we had no losses and we beat the giants guarding it fairly simple.
 After that we went to a mine near Ozy's house to mine for gold and topazes.
 That went well also ,and it made me think.
 I think its time we started to get of Mistone more with a group ,to train and explore the other continents.
 As i wrote this ,i already put that plan in action by sending invitations to the people i would like to join me
 in this undertaking .
 I want a group of about 9-10 persons to go with, and i try to get mostly people that are even in strenght and skill.
 So i invited the following persons to meet at my house later this week,Abi:Angela:Lokri:Trysk:Kloss:Roxx:Shelu:Nex and myself.
 We first have to talk abput my plan to go out on a regular base ,and i dont know if all are free and willing to participate
 in this undertaking,but im sure most are .
 The plan i have is to go out once or twice a week to explore together,and  think they all like to do just that.
 I wasnt able to get a hold of Nex just yet ,so i hope i see him this week.
 Shelu has grown in power these last days *smiles happely* and so have i .
 I only hope she will be more careful'because she had some misfortune the last days *looks sad and angry at the same time*
 She went out with Sy to travel a bit ,and met the soulmother again and when Sy had left her she died again..meeting the
 soulmother again,so that was twice in a short time.
 I'm afraid she doesnt have many visites to the soulmother left before she dies permanently*sighs*i'm
 disapointed by Aeridin ,for not granting my pledge to give me her deaths insted of her, i thought we had a deal.....
 aparently not ,because if we would have a deal i would have visited the soulmother insteed of my love.
 I'l try to make a deal with the soulmother herself to keep my love alive , ill pledge to her that she can take a
 piece of my soul when my love comes to visite her again....i hope she listence to my pledge
 because i dont want to lose my love now that we finaly have a place of our own to live and love.
 I'm having nightmares about her death .......i dont know if i would survive if she dies ........maybe with the help of my
 friends i will,but im not sure i want to live if Shelu's gone ......*tears have fallen on the writings ,and the writing itself is untidy *
 I must stop thinking this way because its killing me even now.....as long as shes with me i have to be strong ...
 i dont want to upset her in any way ...but im scared ....realy scared of losing her ......maybe the trips ill plan
 later this week with the others will set my mind to other things..i realy hope so...